Title – The Life and Lies of Kuchiki Rukia
Rating – PG
Pairing – Ichigo/Rukia, slight Kaien/Rukia
Summary – When Ichigo stumbles into Rukia's journal, he can't resist reading it. But what he finds out about the Shinigami isn't all good...
Note – Why yes, I have read the seventh Harry Potter book. Why do you ask? Oh, and all the dates in this story are completely made up. So don't run on me if they're not completely accurate
Disclaimer – Do not own Bleach kind of don't own title
"Ichi-nii!" Kurosaki Ichigo froze and looked around at his sister. Kurosaki Yuzu was holding a pile of clothes. "Could you do me a favor and bring these up to mine, Karin's, and Rukia-chan's room? Oh, and Daddy, Karin, and I are going out, you want to come?"
Ichigo declined the offer and took the clothes upstairs like Yuzu told him to. "There," Ichigo dropped the clothes onto Karin's bed. As he turned around, he saw the corner of a book sticking out of the pillow on the cot set up between Karin and Yuzu's bed. Curious, Ichigo reached out and grabbed the book. The neat writing on the front read, "Rukia's Journal". Ichigo blinked. Good lord. Rukia's journal? Whoa...
He shouldn't read it. He really shouldn't read it. It was private. Rukia would skin him alive if she ever found out. And he really enjoyed living. But his will power died. So he took the book back to his room, thanking God Inoue had dragged Rukia out for the afternoon. He had plenty of time.
He flopped down onto his bed, looking around to make sure Kon wasn't in the room. The stupid stuffed animal would be quick to tell Rukia what Ichigo had done. But the room was empty, save for Ichigo himself. So he carefully opened the book to the first page.
April 1st, 1910
Today was my first day at the Shinigami Academy. It kind of, well...it sucked, to say the least. I don't even have Renji to keep my company. Mr. Better-than-Thou decided to go and place in an advanced class. Damn him. I could have placed just as easily. I was always better with spiritual powers than he was. But whatever. Who needs him anyway?
Other than that, maybe it wasn't all that bad. I think it takes a little more dedication then I have, though. I mean, don't get me wrong, I want to be a Shinigami, but you know...it takes a lot of practice and everything, and well...I don't know. Maybe I'm just not cut out for this kind of thing. I'm not really sure this was such a good idea. But I'm the one that suggested it, so I can't exactly back out. What a freaking mess
Ichigo blinked as he finished the first entry. What in the world...Rukia'd had doubts? From what he had seen, being a Shinigami had been an effortless thing for her. And what was this about Renji being in an advanced class? Ichigo was sure the entire entry was a joke. But he read on anyway.
April 21st, 1910
Wow, been awhile. Well, I've been busy. This training thing is harder than I thought, you know. And everyone keeps running on me, because I'm from the Rukongai. It's like they're all rooting for me to fail. What a bother. And Renji's no help either. He's too busy being Mr. Great-Advanced-Guy. He thinks he's better than me just because he's in a higher class. It's completely infuriating, you know? It's driving me up a wall. And he doesn't have time for me anymore. Not that I'm worried about him having time for me or anything. It just seems odd, how quickly childhood friends become less important when you think you're just a little better than said friend. Huh. Well, who needs Renji anyway? I'll do just fine on my own
Now Ichigo was intrigued. So the first entry wasn't a joke. Renji really had been better than Rukia in school. Ichigo had to admit, he found that quite amazing. After all, from what he had seen of Renji, the Shinigami was a complete loser. He read on.
May 16th,, 1910
Wow, it has been a long time since I wrote in here. To be honest, I kind of forgot about it. I'll have to be careful of that from now on. I've needed someone to vent to for awhile, if I remembered this sooner I would have been a lot better off. But moving on.
Renji is reeeeally starting to get to me. He thinks he's so wonderful, just because he's better than me. And he has no problem flaunting it either. He says I have to be more dedicated. Who asked him anyway? I'm perfectly fine going the way I am, I don't need to be anymore dedicated than what I am right now. What makes him such an expert anyway? Just because he has a few new friends, he's suddenly the best thing ever. It drives me completely insane!
Ichigo was rather surprised. He'd never realized how much anger Rukia felt towards Renji. He knew they had been friends when they were little, and he knew they were estranged for a little while, but he never knew Rukia had been so...angry. He flipped through more, the name 'Renji' jumping out from almost every page. But then he caught sight of another familiar name. Intrigued now, he leaned closer to the book and read.
September 22nd, 1935
Something amazing happened today. Well, amazing and terrifying. And possibly insane. I don't really know. You see, today I was told that a man named Kuchiki Byakuya wanted to adopt me as his little sister. No, I'm not kidding. The Kuchiki family is as high up in nobility as you can get in Soul Society. It's insane, really. Me, a Kuchiki? I'm just a...a street rat from the seventy-eighth district. I'd never last in a noble family. Renji thinks I should do it. He said it's a good opportunity. Oh, and did I mention that the family will arrange for me to graduate and be placed in one of the Court Guard Squads right away? Now that's amazing. But still, I don't know. I mean, Renji's right, it's a great opportunity. And it would get me into a squad a lot faster...
Ichigo was amazed. Three entries ago she hated Renji. Now she was taking advice from him? Rukia was one screwed up chick. But he kept going anyway.
September 25th, 1935
I should have known better than to listen to Renji. Being a part of a noble family...definitely not everything it's cracked up to be. I don't belong here, it's terrible. The servants all look at me like I have three heads. At least they look at me though. That's something Nii-sama, the man who wanted me in the family in the first place, doesn't seem to want to do. Like I'm too completely repulsive to look at. I don't know what to do anymore. Tomorrow I'm going to the thirteenth division. That's the squad I was assigned to. Hope it's better than being here...
Nobility didn't suit Rukia. That had been obvious from the very first time Ichigo had met her. Apparently that hadn't been obvious to her when she had first joined the family. But she had learned it the hard way. He kept went on again, feeling more intrigued than ever. He was interested in knowing how her first day went.
September 26th, 1935
Yeah. So, Squad Thirteen? Everybody treats me basically the same there as they do everywhere else. It gets kind of sickening after awhile. But that's another story, one I don't feel like getting into right now. So instead I'll tell you this: I think I'm in love.
It's the most amazing thing. It's my vice-captain, Shiba Kaien. He is...the best person I've ever met. He treats me like a regular person, it's been so long since anyone treated me like that. I was so happy when he treated me the way he did, it made me feel unimportant, which is exactly how I want to feel. I don't want the stares following me down the hall anymore. I want to be normal. Kaien-dono helps me with that. I know it sounds stupid, after all I've known him for one day, but really...I do think I love him. It's amazing.
Ichigo's breath had caught in his throat. Rukia was in love with her vice-captain? How messed up was that?! But then he went back and read the name. Shiba Kaien. Ichigo wondered if this man was related to the Shibas Ichigo knew. As put off as he was by this last entry, most of him wanted to keep going. He flipped through the next few entry. Most of them were day-to-day life on the squad. But then one caught his eye. He read:
August 30th, 1941
God. I'm going to hell. No joke. After what I did tonight, I am, without any doubt in my mind, going straight to hell when I die. And I won't complain. Because I'll deserve it.
I made love to Kaien-dono today. He's a married man, for God's sake. He's married, and we still...we...God. I don't even know how it happened. I don't even remember what we were doing before it happened. All I know is one second, we were talking and going on. And the next moment, he pushed me against a tree, and we were kissing. I don't think I'll ever forget that moment. It was the most amazing thing, it's the best I've ever felt. But he's still a married man. He'll always love Miyako-san. I don't want to come between them. I"ll never forgive myself if I do. But if the chance ever comes up again...I'll tell Kaien-dono how I feel.
I hope the chance never comes up again
Ichigo could have rolled right over and died at that very moment. She had...she had...good lord...how was Ichigo supposed to look at Rukia now?
And just who was this Kaien guy? Did Rukia have a secret lover in Soul Society that no one had bothered to tell Ichigo about? What the hell was up with that? Despite himself, he flipped through the pages once again, pausing on a likely looking one. Before he read though, he took the time to notice something was staining the pages.
April 24th, 1945
I...I don't know...what to say. Today was just...it was...I don't even know what happened, not really. I mean, I do, but...I don't. I can't explain it. I wish I could, but it's so confusing. I guess I'll start...from the beginning
Kaien-dono is...Kaien-dono is dead. He went to try and avenge Miyako-san. A hollow had killed her. But that hollow...the hollow had some weird power. It took Kaien's body. He was using it to attack Captain Ukitake and I. There was nothing else I could do. He would have killed me, he would have killed my captain. And he was attacking me. So I...I raised my sword. It went right through him. And it went right through him. I knew it would kill him. But what else could I do? I didn't want to die. I was so selfish. And he...he thanked me. That was the worst part. I didn't do anything that deserved thanks. I'm the worst.
I had to bring his body to his family. He had a little brother and sister. I thought they were going to fall over when they saw me with him. They were both so upset, understandably enough. But the way they looked at me...it was a look of pure hatred. It was a look I deserved, but...it still hurt. No one's looked at me like that before. It'll stay with me forever
Ichigo breathed deeply. He hadn't even realized he stopped. He just couldn't believe what he had read. Rukia had...killed a person. In self defense, of course. But still, bad enough. Ichigo's eyes drifted to the stains on the pages, and that was when he realized; they were blood stains.
Ichigo flipped through the pages, further into the future. There was nothing terribly interesting over the following years. Shiba Kaien was mentioned no more within the pages. Every now and then though, Ichigo found a name that was familiar. Byakuya and Renji were the primary ones, though Ichigo noticed Renji's name became far and few between. Finally he stopped on an interesting looking passage, over sixty years after the one about Kaien.
April 21st, 2007
I found out today I'm being reassigned to the world of the living. A small place called Karakura Town. There's been a lot of spiritual activity there, from what Kiyone said. I don't care though. If it'll get me out of Soul Society, I really don't care. It sounds like an interesting town though. Maybe I'll be able to have a little fun, finally...
Ichigo couldn't even blink as he moved on to the next entry
April 22nd, 2007
There was a hollow attack in town today. It was a pushover hollow, nothing to worry about. No, what surprises me is that there was a boy there, helping a spirit (I think she was the target). The boy...he could see me. I swear, he looked right at me, and he talked to me. It was so weird. And he had the weirdest color hair...orange. Can you believe it? Orange. Who has orange hair? It was so weird...but whatever. I'm going to try and find him, somehow. I have to. I have to know who he is, and how he can see spirits.
So that was why she had gone looking for him. She had never really explained it...
May 25th, 2007
His name is Kurosaki Ichigo. And I'm telling you, he is so much like Shiba Kaien it's almost scary. And not just in looks, either (I mean, their hair color is completely different, but that's another story). But really...Ichigo's the most stubborn person I have ever met. He's hard headed, he's annoying as hell...but at the same time, he has a soft side that just...tickles you, ya know? Especially when it comes to his family. He attacked a hollow with a freaking baseball bat just to save his family. Of course, he got swatted aside like a fly, but that's another story. Then he decided to try and give his soul to the hollow, to stop the attack. And that was when I got stupid. I threw myself in front of the attack. Worst thing I've ever done. Long story short, he has my powers now. I'm going to be in big trouble when Soul Society finds out, but until then...I think I'll just enjoy myself a little, get to know Ichigo better. I have a feeling there's more to him then the people think
This was starting to get personal. Ichigo knew he should really stop reading...but some unknown force dragged him to another entry, almost a month later
June 17th, 2007
What a day. At first it started out normally. Well, as normally as it could. It's the anniversary of Ichigo's mother's death, I guess. I mean, that's what he said, anyway. And there's no reason to think he's lying. But anyways. Ichigo told me...it was so weird. Ichigo told me he's the one that killed his mother. I couldn't make heads or tails of it, and he ran away right afterwards, so I couldn't question him. And then a hollow attacked. It was the same hollow that killed Ichigo's mother, apparently. Ichigo decided to be an idiot and go after it all on his own. Moron. He nearly died. God. That scares me so much, thinking about him dying...wait, did I just write that? I mean, I don't care if he dies, really I don't! Oh, what the hell? No one's going to read this but me. So yeah, maybe him dying does scare me. So what if it does? It doesn't mean anything. He's my friend, of course I'd be scared of him dying. It doesn't mean anything. Right?
Ichigo tried to force his hands to close the book. This was territory he did not want to wander into. Rukia's personal feelings (or lack thereof) were absolutely none of his business. He had to put the book down. He had to...but he kept reading anyway.
June 22nd, 2007
Do I love Ichigo? That's a bit of a loaded question, isn't it? I mean, I love him as a friend, that's one thing. But...do I love him? Love is such a weird thing. Do I love him? I don't know. I loved Kaien-dono. And Ichigo is so much like him. Am I just in love with a memory? Or is it Ichigo, just Ichigo that I love? Like I said, love is so weird. I don't know what to make of this anymore. All I know is...something is not right. And I think...I think I do love Ichigo. Not the memory he reminds me of, but Ichigo, the real Ichigo
A feather could have knocked Ichigo over. He felt incredibly light-headed, but he couldn't bring himself to stop. He turned another page, his head spinning. The entries stopped right after that, not starting against until over a month later.
July 31st, 2007
I won't bore you with the details of what's been happening the last month when I haven't written. Long story short, I was arrested for giving my powers to Ichigo, and put on death row. And right as I was about to die, Ichigo dove in and saved me. So typical of him. Always has to play the hero, always has to come right when he's needed the most, that damn hero complex of his. But I'm not complaining. I was ready to die. Really I was. But he saved me...and to be honest, I kind of like being alive. And Ichigo...being rescued by Ichigo...it was something else. And now I know. I really know. I love Ichigo, for everything he is. Really I do. Not that I'll ever tell him
"What the hell are you doing?!" Ichigo jumped so badly the book flew out of his hand and to the floor with a thump. A vivid looking Kuchiki Rukia was standing in his door. Oh boy. Ichigo was so far past dead, it was unreal.
"Er...I wanna live?"
"When I'm done with you I'll have you begging for death, I swear!" she raged.
"Now really, Rukia, come on, it's no big-"
"Oh, it's a big freaking deal all right!" she dove to the floor and scooped the book up furiously. Then she whipped it at him. The corner collided with the side of his head. "Dammit!" he swore as he rubbed his head angrily. "Ow, dammit, that hurt!"
"Like you don't deserve it!"
"If it makes you feel better, I didn't read much, mostly about you hating Renji when you were in school-"
"Oh shut up!"
"Why do you care so much?" Ichigo asked teasingly, "What's in there that's so important I can't read it?"
Rukia froze. Then, "Oh shut up"
And Ichigo smirked. She'd never tell. And neither would he
Author's Note: Don't...Ask...
