Have I mentioned that I love Jasper? He's totally my favorite. Although Jake & Nessie are my favorite couple. Go figure. Anyways, here's your double update chapter. Things are gettin' crazy for the Cullens... again. And we still have a wedding to prepare for ;)

Chapter 14: Because of Me

Renesmee watched from behind Jacob as Carlisle and Rosalie struggled to hold Jasper down. Esme was comforting both Alice and Emmett, whose arm was still missing in action. Renesmee had never felt so helpless. Jacob looked at her. You're not helpless, Jacob thought reassuringly. You may have just saved Jasper and the rest of your family from Olivia.

Renesmee ran her fingers through his fur and sighed. If only I could know for sure.

Just then, a loud gasp escaped Jasper's lips. Everyone watched as his body went slack. Carlisle motioned for Rosalie to let go. He rolled Jasper onto his back, keeping his hands on his son's shoulders just in case. Alice rushed over to him and kneeled by his side. "Jazzy?" she whispered, a sob lingering in her throat.

In the next minute, Jasper's eyes opened. Carlisle breathed a sigh of relief, for Jasper's eyes were no longer a bright red, but back to a dark color as they had been previously. Jasper looked up curiously at Carlisle and Alice. Why was Alice so sad? Why was Carlisle so worried? And how on earth had he gone from being face to face with Olivia in the woods to lying on his back in the living room?

"Alice?" he whispered, his voice slightly hoarse.

"Jazz," she asked hesitantly. "Is it you?"

" 'Course," he said looking from her to Carlisle, then back at his wife. "What's goin' on, Darlin'?"

Alice smiled. Never before had she been so happy to hear him call her that! "Carlisle," she said, placing her hand lovingly against Jasper's cheek, "he's alright. You can let him up."

Carlisle nodded and helped Jasper up. If anyone knew when Jasper was back to normal, it was Alice. "Alice, you will keep an eye on him?" he asked. "I must tend to Emmett and Jacob."

Alice nodded, pulling Jasper into her arms and holding him close to her. "I knew you'd come back to me," she whispered.

"I'll always come back to you, Darlin'," he said, kissing her head, even though he didn't know where he had gone. "But I'm gonna need you to explain some things to me. Like why our house looks like a Texas tornado came through it."

"Hey Carlisle," Emmett said heavily through the pain he was in as his father approached him and Rosalie. "Think you can fix this?"

Carlisle looked at the place where his son's arm should be and nodded. "There is a way, Emmett," he explained. "Our venom is a wonderful healing agent, as you've seen with Bella and her own transformation a few years ago. Can you make it upstairs to my office?"

"I'll help him," Rosalie said eagerly, hardly able to stomach seeing the man she loved in so much pain.

Carlisle nodded. "I'll join you in a minute then."

He ran over to where Renesmee and Jacob were sitting. He inspected Jacob's arm, then asked, "Can you phase back, Jacob? It will be easier to treat you."

Jacob nodded. He could feel his arm healing already, which meant Carlisle would have to re-break it. Swell.

"Renesmee, will you go and grab him some clothes from your father's old closet, please?"

"Sure, Grandpa," she nodded, placing a kiss in Jacob's fur before running up the stairs.

While they waited for Jacob to change, Renesmee stood next to her grandfather, inspecting the damage done. Rosalie had fixed her husband's arm and Carlisle had put it in a sling, deeming it unusable for at least a week while the venom took complete effect. Until then, it was like his left arm was completely paralyzed. This hadn't made Emmett very happy, especially since he was left handed. He, Rosalie, and Esme were beginning what could turn into a long process of getting the house back in order. Looking out the back window, passed the torn curtains, tears filled Renesmee's eyes as she watched Alice and Jasper talk. She couldn't exactly hear what they were saying, but she knew her auntie was explaining in the most gentle way possible what had happened. She also knew that her uncle would be devastated when he found out what he'd done, even if he had had no control over it. Renesmee looked up at Carlisle. "Do you think he'll be alright?"

Carlisle wanted to say yes. He wanted to tell her that Alice would explain everything, and that Jasper would accept the fact that things had been out of his control. He wanted to believe that his son would realize that no one blamed him, and that everyone knew this wasn't his fault. But he knew better. He knew Jasper better. Looking down at Renesmee's worried brown eyes, he put an arm around her and pulled her close to him. "I don't know," he sighed. "I really don't know."

"I what?" Jasper choked as he stared at his wife trying to comprehend what she had just said.

"You were put under Olivia's control," Alice explained again, still holding Jasper's hand while trying to send calming feelings toward him to let her husband know that no one was mad at him. "It's her power. She can get in your head and control your every thought and action."

"And that's why the house looks the way it does?" he asked, pain etched into his sharp features. "That's why Emmett's arm was missing? Why Jacob's was broken? Because of me?"

"No!" Alice cried. This is what she'd been afraid of. She knew he'd try and blame himself, but she had to make him see otherwise. "No, Olivia did all this."

"Through me," he sighed, his brow furrowed in anger. "What else did I do, Alice?"

Alice gaped. How did he know there was more?

"Alice," he said in a warning tone, "I need to know. Did I do anything else? Did I... did I hurt anyone else?"

"Well, no," she stammered. Technically, she wasn't lying. He hadn't hurt Renesmee. Edward had stopped him. But Jasper could always tell when she was hiding something from him. He felt how uncomfortable she was with this question.

"Alice please," he practically begged her. Then, over his wife's head, he saw Renesmee watching them from the window. From his niece he felt large amounts of pity, worry, anxiety and love. "What'd Renesmee see?" he asked, his voice low and rough with emotion. "God Alice, please tell me I didn't do anythin' to hurt her!"

Alice hesitated for just a couple seconds, but that was all the confirmation Jasper needed. He fell back away from her a couple of steps and cried out, "Oh my God! No! Alice, what happened? What did I do to her?"

"You did not do anything," she reassured him again.

Jasper groaned. He felt as though he would go crazy if she didn't tell him what had really happened. "Alice!"

Alice knew he would not give up until she told him. So as gently as possible that's what she did. "She... she made you attack her, Jazz," she sighed. "But Edward and Jacob stopped you, and Bella made sure Renesmee was safe. Carlisle held you down, and Edward... I don't know what would've happened if Renesmee wouldn't have realized what Olivia was doing to you. None of us knew, Jazz, we thought..."

"That I had finally snapped?" he laughed dryly. "That I held out as long as I could, and what everyone had been expectin' all along was finally happening?"

"Jazz, no!" she cried, rushing to him and placing her hand on his arm.

"What about you, Alice?" he asked with pain shining in his eyes. Alice felt it crash over her, though he really didn't mean for it to. "What'd you think?"

"I didn't know what to think, Jazz. Edward couldn't read your thoughts, and you weren't making the decisions that were causing my visions of you. I knew that it wasn't you, but I didn't know who else it was. Like Renesmee said, you were an entirely different person."

"Renesmee," he groaned. Jasper fell to his knees and held his head in his hands. "I could've killed her, Alice! If not for the rest of you, I would've! Oh God..."

"Jasper, don't do this to yourself!" she pleaded with him, stuck inside his personal turmoil as her close proximity to him drew her into his emotions. "That wasn't you doing all those things. It was Olivia! We all know that. No one blames you!"

"They should," he whispered brokenly. "I'm the weakest one of our family, Alice. Out of everyone, I've been the one to slip up most. For over 60 years I've tried to live like y'all want me to, and I still can't go as long in between hunts as the rest of you. I always feared that I would do the same thing to Renesmee that I did to Bella all those years ago... and today I did. I tried to fit in here, Alice. To be the kind'a man who you deserve, but I can't... and I don't think I ever will be. If I would'a been a stronger, better man, I wouldn't have fallen under Olivia's control. But I did. Just like I did with Maria."

"Jazz," Alice choked on his pain, kneeling beside him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders.

"I'm gonna go away for a while," he sighed.

Alice shook her head. "No, Jazz..."

"I have to," he said, getting back up on his feet. "I need some time alone. I know what's gonna happen when we go back inside, Alice. Everyone'll look at me with pity and sympathy in their eyes. Tryin' to make me feel better when all I can feel is their disappointment and worry about me. I have to go, Alice. If I don't sort this out for myself, I know I'll slip up, and someone'll feel terrible because of me. And this time I won't be able to blame it on Olivia."

Alice was about to protest when everything around her faded away, even Jasper's voice. She was having a vision. She saw Jasper sitting alone by their favorite spot along the river, deep in thought. But most importantly, she saw him coming back to her and the rest of the family when he felt he was ready to face them again. When her vision faded away as quickly as it had come, she looked up at him and sighed, "Ok. If that's what you need right now." She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his chest. She felt him rest his head on hers. "I know you'll come back to us," she whispered, knowing he could hear her. "I know you'll come back to me."

When Renesmee saw her auntie and Uncle Jazz embrace, she knew everything would be alright. For them anyway. Her parents weren't back yet, and neither were Seth and Paul. She went to sit on the front steps to wait for them, her grandfather having gone upstairs a few minutes ago to set Jacob's arm.

Renesmee sat down and drew her knees up to her chest, staring at the trees, willing her parents and her friends to emerge. A terrible thought occurred to her. What if this whole thing had been a trap? What if Bella, Edward, Paul, and Seth had gone after Olivia only to come face to face with the entire Volturi clan? Suddenly, she felt as though she couldn't breathe. "No," she muttered under her breath. "Oh please please no!"

"Hey," Jacob said coming out onto the porch and positioning himself behind her. He kissed the top of her head. "What's wrong, Ness?"

She touched the arm that wasn't in a cast, and showed Jacob an image of Paul, Seth, Edward, and Bella standing before Aro and the rest of the Volturi. When she pulled her hand away, she looked up at him with fear in her eyes. He wrapped his one good arm around her and said softly, "That won't happen. Don't worry about it, ok? Alice would've seen them decide to come here. It was Olivia, and that's all there was. No one else is coming after us."

Renesmee snuggled deeper into Jacob's embrace. She knew he was right, but that wouldn't stop her from worrying just a little. After all, her worst nightmare had just become a reality, and she couldn't shake the feeling that it wasn't over yet.

"It's been one hell of a day, hasn't it?" he groaned.

"You can say that again," she sighed. "It's not even noon yet."

"I remember a day nearly as long as this one," he chuckled.

She twisted her body to look up at him. "Which one is that?"

Jacob smiled. "The one day when all your family decided to take a hunting trip together. You were about five at the time, and you were so mad that they didn't take you. I foolishly offered to babysit so they could go. I guess you figured that out, because when I walked in the door to the cottage, instead of you attaching yourself to my leg like usual, you had your arms crossed over your chest and a pout on your face. You were mad at me and gave me the silent treatment all day. It absolutely killed me. I felt so awful, but there really wasn't much I could do about it. The damage had been done. I tried everything to make you happy. Anything that I thought might get even one word out of you, I did it. Twice," he laughed softly. Renesmee smiled as she listened to him, feeling her fears melt away like they always did when she was with him. She relaxed against his body a bit more as he continued. "Finally I gave up. I sat down on the couch with my head in my hands, not knowing what to do. My heart was breaking, Ness. You were mad at me. I was supposed to be the one who made you smile, who you came running to when other people hurt you. Now I was the one you hated. I know you were only five, but I still felt like a total jerk. That's how much power you have over me," he chuckled, kissing the curve of her neck. "Suddenly, I felt you tap me on the shoulder. When I looked up, you had one of your dad's records in your hands. You handed it to me and pointed at the record player. As I said, I was willing to do anything, so I got up to go put it in. The song 'Hot Blooded' came on, and you sat down on the couch and stared me down. It wasn't hard to guess what you wanted. So, I swallowed my pride, and began to dance around the living room to the song like a total idiot. I screamed the chorus at the top of my lungs, and by the second verse you were giggling nonstop."

"Then you picked me up in your arms and we danced around the room until the song ended," Renesmee grinned. "Then you put another song on and danced with me until we fell asleep on the couch together."

"Yep," he said, leaning his head down to rest it on her shoulder. "I would do anything, give anything, and be anything to see that smile of your's, my sweet Nessie."

She smiled and sighed, "I love you, Jake."

"Always and forever," he said softly, kissing her cheek.

"You missed," she smiled again, twisting about to look at him.

"What?" he asked, very confused.

Renesmee placed her hand against his cheek and whispered, "You missed." She smiled and brought his lips down onto hers.