Eighth Story – What You Do
Rating – PG-13 (Suicide, Character Death)
Summary – And she never knew what she did to him
Pairings (because this isn't standard IchiRuki) – RenRuki, one-sided IchiRuki
Author's Note – This is probably going to seem very OOC. Sorry 'bout that. It happens though, you know?
He never really moved on.
Oh sure, he pretended to. He pretended like everything was okay. He smiled at the appropriate times, he scowled when it was right, he talked when it was necessary, he stayed quiet when it wasn't. He was the perfect little actor. But that was all it was: an act.
When he was alone in the solitude of his apartment, with no one to act for, no one to pretend with, he let the mask drop. He became a completely different person when that mask faded away. When the mask was in place, he was the way he had always been. When it was gone, he was everything no one thought he could ever be.
And it was all her fault.
Part of him thought it was unfair to blame her. After all, she had only gone where her heart had taken her. How could he blame her for doing what he himself had told him to? But damn, why did it have to lead her away from him? Why did she have the ability to do what he didn't? Why could she forget so easily, when he dreamed it every night?
"I never really stopped loving you." She said, looking back at him. He just stared, sharp amber eyes meeting vivid violet. "You're not going to make it easy, are you?" He shook his head. He had to play his part. She had come to him with a specific reason in mind. He had to help her follow through with her mission.
"I won't make if difficult. I'm happy for you." She smiled softly. She liked his answer. But somehow, he had a feeling she knew he was lying.
At twenty-eight, Kurosaki Ichigo was everything he had sworn he would never be. He was bitter man who blamed the world and one person in particular for his problems. But he only did it inside his head. To the world, he was the same, scowling, stubborn, orange-haired tough guy he had always been. No change at all.
The world was full of morons though.
Ichigo glared down at the bottle in his hands. He had never been much of drinker. During his visits to Soul Society he had turned down numerous requests by Renji, Matsumoto, and countless others to go out for a night at the bar. But after his last visit to Soul Society, almost two years earlier, it hadn't seemed too bad to pick up on. No one knew about it though. Chad, Ishida, Inoue, his father and sisters, no one knew. He had become good at pretending to be okay.
Knock-Knock
Ichigo looked up from his text-book. He was attempting to study for an exam he had the next day (he was currently in college). He stood up and walked over to the door. "Who is it?" He called before opening it. No answer. But something was familiar about the presence outside the door. So he opened it. And his heart nearly stopped.
"Hi...Ichigo"
Ichigo stood up, his chair scraping loudly against the linoleum floor. He tossed the now empty bottle expertly into the trash can. It shattered as soon as it landed. He didn't care. He needed to get out, needed some air, needed to clear his head. He grabbed his jacket and left the apartment, not even giving the picture sitting on the coffee table a second glance.
The cold, December air stung his face and hands. He shoved his hands into his pockets, bowed his head, and started down the street, his amber eyes narrowed as the wind blew, and said eyes began to water.
"It's...good to see you again Rukia."
It had been about five years since she had last come to call. Ichigo had to admit, her sudden appearance surprised him, but it also made him a little weary. And he wondered what her reason for coming was.
"What's up?"
They were sitting at the kitchen table. Rukia was staring at her hands, which were folded neatly on the tabletop, as if she were in school. "It's uh...well...it's complicated."
"Must be bad if it brought you back here." He meant it as a joke. But the way her violet eyes flickered, he knew he was dead on. Thinking that made him think something else. "Who died?"
"No one." She muttered. "No one's dead...yet. Listen, I have something to tell you...it's kind of important. Renji wanted to come to, but I thought I should do it alone-"
Ho hum. Renji. The man Rukia had left the living world for. What she saw in him, Ichigo was sure he'd never know. "Whatever. What is it?"
"We're uh...it's kind of um...we're...we're-getting-married." She spoke so fast it took Ichigo a minute to pull the words apart. When he finally did, and he finally realized what she had just said. He felt as if his chair had just been pulled out from beneath him.
"You...you are." it wasn't a question.
"Yeah." She finally found the courage to look up at Ichigo. He fought to keep his expression blank. He didn't want her to know how torn up he felt right then.
"Well. That's great then. Congratulations." He stood up, walked over to her, and held out his hand. She stared at him for a moment before taking his hand, and they shook. "Tell the red-haired idiot congratulations too."
Ichigo was so lost in thought it took him a minute to realize the weird sensation he felt was actually a hollow. And by the time he had, another force had joined said hollow. This was one he recognized. He whirled around and darted back the way he came.
It didn't take him long to find the hollow and it's Shinigami opponent, the latter of which looked bloody and beaten. Ichigo didn't even hesitate in pulling out his substitute Death God license and slamming it against his chest. Once he was out of his body he darted forward, past the Shinigami, unsheathing Zangetsu and bringing it down through the hollow's mask. The hollow screamed as it disintegrated into the cold air. Ichigo turned back towards his body, keeping his head bowed as he passed the Shinigami. It wasn't until he was back in his body that he found the courage to say, "So...Rukia. Or...is it Abarai-san, now?"
"Shut up." Rukia muttered, her hand drifting up to hold her shoulder and gripping it tightly to try and stop the flow of the blood. Ichigo looked back at her at last. She hadn't changed much in the two years since he had last saw her. Same, short black hair, same height, same way she stood, like everything in the world revolved around her. And in Ichigo's mind, it did.
"You must be rusty to let yourself get beat up like that by a small fry." He said, trying to sound like his old, teasing self.
"What part of shut up aren't you getting?" she asked, looking back at him with the same violet eyes that once pierced his heart.
"I never got much of what you said." He stepped forward and carefully took her arm. She winced and tried to pull away. "Relax. I'm just bringing you back to my apartment. You're a mess, if you go back to Soul Society looking like that they'll force you to retire."
She frowned as she allowed herself to be led back to his apartment. Neither spoke the entire way. Once inside she said, "I'll clean my own wounds thank you. If you have the stuff-"
"You never minded letting me clean your wounds before."
"Things are different now Ichigo."
"Ah right. Sorry, I forgot Abarai-san"
"Stop calling me that."
"It's who you are, isn't it?"
"What the hell is your problem?"
"No problem." And with that he went into the bathroom and got the first-aid kit. If she was going to be stubborn and difficult, fine. What did he care?
He cared a lot.
"Is it worth it?" She asked him as he walked out again. He just stared at her, clueless as to what he was talking about. "You never understand, do you?"
"What the hell-"
"You, Ichigo!" She said furiously, "You and you're...your stubbornness, your...everything that makes you!"
Ichigo knew what she was talking about now. But he didn't feel like talking. They just glared at each other, and finally Rukia said, in a low and disgusted voice, "I waited for you. I waited for five years after the war. But you were too clueless. You were still too high on the battle to notice anything was different. And now...now you're beating yourself up." she pointed to his trash-can, full of empty beer bottles. "Is it a good escape, Ichigo? Are you happy now? Is everything how you want it?"
"Shut up." He said in a low voice. "What the fuck do you know anyway? You don't know a damn thing, that's what."
"I know I have more than you do." She said, starting towards the door. "I moved on. But you...you never did."
And she was gone. Again. Ichigo stared at the door and then, it a moment of blind range, roared in anger and hurled the first-aid kit against the wall. It hit with a satisfying crash.
And, in the dark and privacy of his apartment later that night, he did what he had dreamed of since the day Rukia told him she and Renji were getting married. It took more than he thought it did. He hadn't expected it to be hard. He was just swallowing pills. But it took all his will power to get them down his throat.
One Week Later...
Amazingly – and ironically – enough, Ichigo ended up in Soul Society. It took him three days to find his way to Seireitei. When he finally got there, he was met with pitying shakes of heads but otherwise warm greetings. But he didn't see the two he wanted to see the most until four days after that.
They were waiting outside the ninth division. Matsumoto had pointed him in that direction, under, he suspected, their directions.
Rukia, who walked through life with an invisible spotlight on her, was leaning against one of the two poles that made the entrance into the division. Renji, the stray dog that stole her heart, was standing next to her.
Rukia spoke first as he approached. "So was it worth it, baka?"
Ichigo glared at her. "Shut up."
"That's not an answer."
"It is now." Ichigo was beginning to wonder why he had wanted to see her so bad. He rolled his eyes and turned away. As he did, he saw Rukia rest her head on Renji's shoulder. Such a small act. But it tore Ichigo apart.
And he wondered if this was really hell.
Author's Note –Wow. Don't. Ask. Seriously, no clue where this came from. I hate RenRuki though, please be assured of that. Haha...just review – Sam
