Chapter 4: The Job Hunt
Genma was beat. He was also sitting outside in the backyard in panda form. It was the only way he could eat his dinner. Nodoka had decreed that it was bamboo shoots for breakfast, lunch, and dinner until he had a steady job. Soun would sneak him out some wine and crackers a little later, but that's as far as Genma's old friend would go for him. Kasumi ruled the roost and she was backing up Nodoka's pronouncement. The punishment for disobeying was to have Akane cook for you. Soun was willing to suffer for a minor infraction (Akane's food was no longer poisonous – just usually burnt, or raw unless Ranma stood over her – hadn't she ever heard of a food timer?), but there was no way the Tendo Elder was missing out on dinner for Genma's sake.
It was now the Thursday after the fight. Most of the bruises from Saturday's fight were healed. The problem was the bruises Nodoka had given him with her umbrella when she caught him panhandling downtown in his panda form. She had chased him all the way back to the Tendo's house smacking him the entire time (he didn't think she could run that fast in heels). Now she wouldn't let him into the house at all. He figured she should calm down over the weekend. Sigh.
Ranma was more than a little unsympathetic to his father's plight. For that matter, the boy didn't talk to him at all – he was still annoyed about the lightning bolt Genma guessed. Through Akane's upstairs window, Genma saw Ranma and Akane studying – or at least trying to study. It was pretty obvious both of them were having a hard time. Finally, Ranma stood up and grabbed Akane's hand pulling her out of her chair, leading her over to sit on the bed. Genma couldn't see them kissing on the bed, but he could feel their auras brighten. They'd be like that now until Kasumi called them for dinner. "Sure," Genma groused. "He gets what he wants, but does he think about his poor old father? Of course not. Ungrateful child…" He turned away from the house and looked at the darkening skies.
To say that his job hunting had been a disaster would be an understatement. No one wanted him as a receptionist, despite the fact that he had experience…
"Mrs. Gato? There's a man here to see you about the receptionist position."
Gato looked up at her assistant and observed the distaste on the young woman's face. "There's nothing wrong with having a man as a receptionist," she scolded her assistant.
"Depends on the man," her assistant said.
"I see," Gato responded. "Well, where's his resume?"
"He doesn't have one. He worked for Doctor Ono about two years ago for a couple of months. Before that he did a bunch of odd jobs and some construction while moving around the country," the young woman told her.
"And he's done nothing else since then?" Gato asked.
Her assistant shook her head. "No, ma'am."
"Has he been sick?" Gato pressed.
"No, ma'am."
"So, he's just been lying around for two years? Who is he? Genma Saotome?" she demanded incredulously.
Her assistant looked at the ground. "Actually, yes ma'am."
Gato blinked in surprise. "I'm sorry, did you just say Genma Saotome is in my waiting room to interview for a job."
"Yes, ma'am."
"NOT FOR LONG!" Gato said angrily.
"Yes, ma'am," the assistant smiled.
The various owners told him it was because they didn't want him to be the first person seen associated with their businesses. Genma took that to mean that they wanted someone young and pretty. "They don't want someone to work for them; they just want some eye candy," he sniffed.
When he tried to apply for a job at the local bank, things didn't go any better…
Mr. Meada looked at the applicant sitting across from him. "Now Mr. Saotome, you haven't completed the application. Let see, what college did you graduate from?"
Genma answered: "I never went to college, sir."
"Well, that's not strictly necessary for the job. I assume you'll want to use our benefits to attend night classes then," Meada said. Since Genma never answered him, Meada continued: "When did you graduate high school?"
"I've never needed it," Genma stated proudly. "I am a self-made man."
Meada paused for a minute and thought: "All right. We've had some people come in from the countryside like this and work out well. Let's not make any rash judgments." Out loud, Meada asked: "So what were your scores on the equivalency tests then."
"I don't believe in that nonsense. They are not a measure of a true martial artist," Genma said haughtily.
"O.K." Meada thought. "Now we start making rash judgments." To Genma he said sharply: "Unfortunately, Mr. Saotome, we are not hiring people for their martial art skills. A bank needs people who can prove that they understand math and handle people with words, not fists…"
The bank manager told him he didn't have enough experience for an entry level job – there were about a million people more qualified than him and they would get back to him after they talked to them all. "Damn labor market," Genma thought…
Genma didn't fare any better when he checked with the local merchants at the central market…
Mr. Sakai, the fishmonger heard his daughter yell down to him: "Papa, Mr. Saotome is here!"
"Mr. Saotome?" he laughed to himself. "Damn, when her crush on a boy fades, it really fades. It's Mr. Saotome, not Ranma now? Of course she was foolish enough to run after him to try and get that last fish back – he led her on a merry chase before ditching her." Out loud he yelled back: "Let the cat steal the fish he wants! The paint only just finished drying after his last work day!"
Mr. Sakai looked around his large cellar with satisfaction. Ranma had insisted on painting it a while back to make up for the fish Neko-Ranma had stolen from him. The lad had heard through the market grapevine that Sakai had planned to do it soon. Sakai would have preferred to forget about the fish the boy occasionally pilfered (it wasn't as if Ranma was stealing the choicest fillets), especially since the young man had chased those bullies away from his son, but Ranma didn't like to steal from anyone – even if he was out-of-his-mind at the time. By any accounting, Mr. Sakai felt he was way ahead of the deal though.
"He's not the cat!" his daughter yelled down to him.
"Oh," Sakai thought. "He must be running an errand for Kasumi. Let's go see if I can get him a better cut than he is after." Mr. Sakai walked to the stairs and started up. When he looked up to the top, he saw a frown on his daughter's face. "O.K. he didn't tick her off that much. What's going on?"
Unfortunately, Mr. Sakai found out. Ranma was not waiting for him – the lad's father was waiting with Sakai's daughter instead. "Hello, Mr. Sakai," Genma said. "Good to see you again." Sakai just nodded his head. "I understand my son did some work for you last month." Sakai nodded his head again. Genma seemed to be waiting for more, but Mr. Sakai just looked at him. "Um…" Genma started again. "My family is a little tight on money right now, and sometimes my boy is forgetful. Did he pick up all of his wages?"
"Yes, he did," Sakai said shortly. "Ranma is a very thorough young man, both in his work and in his play." Mr. Sakai's daughter moved out of Genma's field of vision, and made a face behind the man's back. "Is there something I can do for you?" Sakai asked.
"Well, yes. I'm looking for some work to help out old Tendo's household. There's very little I cannot do. I'm sure Ranma has shown you what a Saotome man is capable of after all." Now Sakai's daughter was miming slitting someone's throat.
A rare evil thought crossed Sakai's mind as he looked at the bane of Ranma's existence. "I see. Well, I think I may have something, but I have to warn you: it's not an easy job. Only a very skilled man could handle it."
Genma puffed out his chest. "Ha! There's nothing I can't handle!"
Half-an-hour later, Mr. Sakai was yelling at Genma: "Get out you useless thing! It will take me all day to get the fur out of that machine!" An ice encrusted panda left the shop at a run with Sakai chasing after him and pelting the panda with ice chunks.
Mr. Sakai's twin children watched from behind the day counter outside the store proper as their father tore after Genma. The teenage brother turned to his sister and asked: "Doesn't it only take about 15 minutes of hot water to flush the flash freezer out?"
"Yep," his sister replied.
"Did Dad have a smile on his face as he was throwing ice chunks at that panda?" he asked again.
"Yep," his sister smirked.
On Tuesday, Genma hopped on a train for the Tokyo docks. There, he did manage to get some work moving cargo. Things were going well until after lunch. "I was only an hour late," he groused. "I can move at four times the speed anyone else can when I need to… I don't see what the fuss was."
"What the hell is the hold-up?" the foreman yelled into his radio. "I've got ships waiting to be unloaded!"
The radio crackled: "One of our guys is still missing! We cannot run the crane without all of our spotters!"
The foreman began cursing up a storm – he hated these jerks that didn't understand teamwork. Finally, he yelled: "I'll send one of the forklift guys! Send the jackass to me when he finally shows up! I'll rip him a new one and have him work on the forklift patrol instead!"
"And that pileup with the forklifts was not my fault," Genma continued.
"Saotome! Put the damn thing in four-wheel drive and use the joystick controls!" the forklift captain yelled. "You cannot make that turn! Unlock *all* the wheels damn it!"
The captain looked on for a minute and shouted: "It's a forklift, not a bloody car! Use the joystick controls, not the steering wheel!"
Finally, he had enough. "Saotome! Get out of that… Wait! Stop! You don't have the radius for that turn! Brake! Brake! BRAKE!"
****CRASH****
That night, Genma had tried to convince Nodoka that the docks was an on-going job until she called the company and asked about him, insisting that she was from the government checking up on his unemployment situation. He didn't even get bamboo that night…
On Wednesday, Genma went down to a local gym to apply for a position as a trainer…
The Police Sergeant turned to the owner. "What the hell happened, Akio?" Imia asked.
Akio shook his head. "I was testing out a couple of new trainers and talked a few customers into giving them a try to see if they were any good. One of the two trainers was a big fellow who talked a good game. He insisted that only real men could keep up with his training. He got four fellows all psyched up and took them away to one of the training rooms."
The owner went on: "About thirty minutes later, someone pulled the emergency alarm in that training room. When I got there, two of the customers were trying to keep a barbell from crushing the guy with the broken ribs. The fourth guy was over by the panic button and the trainer was nowhere to be found. The barbell was loaded with 750 kg – it took everything the two guys had to keep it from crushing the poor sap. There were weights and pieces of training equipment embedded in the walls of the room too."
Imia looked at him in disbelief. "What the hell were you thinking? You let an applicant go off by himself with your customers?" the Sergeant said sharply. "Now you have one poor fellow on the way to the hospital and three others with assorted fractures, sprains, and torn ligaments on their way to the clinics."
"But, these four are martial artists!" the owner protested. "They should have been able to take anything a trainer dished out! Or at least tell him 'Go to hell' and give him directions! Instead, he talked them into an extreme workout that nearly killed them!"
"Do you know the name of the trainer?" Imia demanded.
"Oh gods. What the hell was his name?" the owner asked himself out loud. "It was Genma something or other…"
The blood drained from Imia's face. "You let those poor bastards train with Ranma Saotome's father?" he asked incredulously.
"Ranma? You mean the shape-changer?" the owner quizzed, his own face going pale.
Imia smacked him alongside the head. "You're lucky I don't run you in for attempted murder!"
"Oh gods," the owner moaned. "What have I done…"
After Genma dodged the police, he tried the various restaurants in town, but no one was hiring wait staff (or so they said). So, he stopped by Ucchan's to see if he could sweet-talk a job out of Ukyo…
Genma strolled into Ucchan's bellowing: "Ah! If it's not my favorite daughter-in-law-to-be!"
Ukyo froze where she was. There was a crash as Konatsu dropped a serving platter. As Ukyo's eyes began twitching, customers began upending tables and taking cover behind them. Genma was between them and the door and there was no way they were going anywhere near the suicidal man…
Genma never knew the girl kept a 4-meter whip just under the counter or that her waitress was capable of throwing serving platters through the wall. Ukyo did send him half the tips that the crowd threw at her as she was beating the crap out of him. She also asked if he'd like to stop by tomorrow for a repeat performance – he could even keep all the tips this time. Nodoka allowed him bread, water, and rice in consideration of the size of the check Ukyo sent and remarked that he should really consider her offer.
That same day, he had also tried to stop in at the Cat Café, but Cologne threw him out immediately and remarked that neither he nor "sonny boy" were allowed within 100 meters of the restaurant on "Buffet Day". When he tried to ask her for a job, she laughed and said "no", but also said that she did know of someone who needed some help. With that, she quickly threw cold water on him, painted him with red, blue and white diagonal stripes and punted him over to a barber shop. The barber came out to investigate, exclaimed "Perfect!", and then stood Genma on a turntable with a sign about his neck – "Don't be like this fellow, get a haircut today!" At least the job paid 800 yen an hour.
The barber had invited him back for today, but Genma couldn't take so demeaning a job – his ego was fighting for survival here. He was a martial artist! He was so far beyond these people! Didn't they understand that? He sighed and ate his bamboo.
Sometime later, Soun came out with the wine, some cookies, a small plate of chicken, and hot water. He poured the hot water over Genma and sat down next to him. "Rough day?" the dark-haired man asked.
"I thought putting on a show in the park would be perfect," Genma replied.
"If you bothered to ask, I would have said you were violating about a dozen local laws. I would have also told you that Inspector Ojima hates your guts. I'm not sure why, but you set his teeth on edge. Doing anything in his jurisdiction is a mistake," Genma's friend told him.
"So I found out. Then I made the mistake of setting up too close to the market and Nodoka caught me. She was horrified that I had set out a hat," Genma said.
"If you worked for a theater troupe or a circus, I think she would have been more tolerant," Soun replied.
"Maybe. The problem with those jobs is that you have to go where they tell you. I want the freedom to go where I want to," Genma grumbled.
"There's very few jobs like that, old friend. You always have a customer or a boss. There are always rules," Soun told him.
"Speaking of which, not that I'm complaining, but how did you get the chicken past Kasumi?" Genma asked.
Soun laughed and then pointed up to Akane's room. The young woman was obviously in a good mood as she snuck ice-cold water down Ranma's back (who was at the desk trying to get some homework done to keep Ms. Hinako happy). Ranko gave the appropriate yelp, and then attacked Akane. The two men could hear the screams and laughter from the tickle fight that ensued. Kasumi soon arrived with hot water and a gentle admonishment to get their homework done. The couple settled down after that. "Akane's apple pie came out perfect. Ranma set two timers. Not as flavorful as Kasumi's, but more than edible. The rules have no teeth this evening," Soun grinned. "I walked out the door with this plate and Kasumi was at a loss what to do. Tofu had a good chuckle though."
"You'll pay for that at breakfast," Genma warned him.
"I ate Akane's cooking – right in front of Kasumi, to my youngest's delight. I followed the rules to the letter. I was even able to give an honest compliment. I've never seen Kasumi and Nodoka at such a loss for words. They'll have to come up with a new punishment," Soun said with amusement. "It was bound to happen anyway – Akane's too much like Kimiko for her to stay a bad cook forever. Sooner or later she was going to get better."
Genma looked at his friend. For the first time ever, Soun had mentioned Kimiko without a cloud of sorrow. "Damn," the part-time panda groused to himself. "He's changing too. I can't count on his behavior any more. He's no longer locked in his sorrow. I was hoping to draw this out and see if there was anything else, but I better ask now before he decides I'm a liability." Out loud, Genma asked: "Soun, is there anything open in your department?"
Soun answered: "There's nothing at my level, old chum, and if there was, you don't have the right credentials, or history. You'd never get the approvals."
Genma was about to argue that Soun didn't have the right credentials either until he realized that his friend did have the right history – Soun was well liked in the town, especially among the elders. Genma was tolerated as Soun's friend and that was all. Instead he asked: "Surely, there is something, somewhere in your department?"
Soun smiled to himself as he said: "Well there is one job opening close by. You wouldn't be working for me. In fact, you'd be working for my nemesis."
"The job is with Abe? Hmm… What would I have to do?" Genma asked.
"You'd be collecting samples from work sites and sending them to the lab. There would be lots of fresh air and sunshine. You'd be paid by collection made as well as a small base salary, but there is lots of work to be done. You can collect a hefty paycheck if you apply yourself," Soun told him.
Genma thought about it for a few moments. "Sounds good," he said finally. "Should I stop down tomorrow then and apply?"
"That works," Soun said. The dark-haired man was beaming inside though. He knew sooner or later Genma would come to him for a job, putting Soun between a rock and a hard place. For once though, he didn't try to solve the problem himself. Instead, he looked at his family to see who could advise him. His sons-in-law-to-be were right out – Tofu was too much of a practical joker, and Ranma usually caused things to get out-of-hand really fast. As far as his daughters went, he knew that his beautiful angel would counsel patience, and that his pretty tomboy would counsel a "right-hook". That left the stunning little devil.
He had to admit that the look on Nabiki's face on Sunday when he asked for her advice was priceless though. She was so much in shock that she only charged him two hot fudge sundaes for her time. The next day, Soun had stopped in to warn Abe that Genma would be applying for a job soon. Soun had told Abe that he would appreciate it if Abe didn't hire Genma. Given that Abe hated Soun (Soun had been given the job Abe wanted – not that Abe had ever been in the running), Soun could count on Abe hiring Genma in the hopes that it would make Soun's life difficult.
Nabiki had said that Soun couldn't help but win here. The worst case was that Genma did his job correctly; from Genma's point of view, it would look like Soun had helped Genma by steering him to Abe. If Genma screwed up, and Abe fired him, Soun would look like a team player at work even to the man who didn't like him – Soun did warn his nemesis after all. The best case was if Genma screwed up and Abe didn't fire him for fear of making Soun look good (the most likely possibility). Now Abe would be handicapped by dead weight and unable to hire someone competent. New opportunities would arise constantly that Soun could exploit to keep Abe forever off-balance until Abe took his venom elsewhere.
"Thanks, old friend," Genma said. "I knew you were still in my corner."
"No problem," Soun answered, and to himself he added "No problems, only opportunities…"
A/N: In case it wasn't obvious, this story ends another arc in the Bindings continuum. For those who have grown tired of me, this is a good place to jump off – it sort of looks like all the questions have been resolved. For those that haven't grown tired off me, note that I said "looks like"…
The next arc is only one story, but it's a long story: "The Destruction of Ranma Saotome". It will start in January. I'll probably break it into at least three parts for my sanity's sake. It will be a mix of Drama and Humor (hopefully more the latter than the former, but it still needs a little work). There are also some short stories I want to push out including:
1) "One Stitch at a Time" – Nodoka reflects on her life and her illness while teaching Akane the art of Nuido – Japanese Embroidery. How did you think she supported herself while Genma was gone all those years?
2) "Her Mother's Daughter" – (title may change) Nabiki goes for a walk one day while feeling a little out-of-sorts and out-of-place among all the magic surrounding her family. She unknowingly runs into a special someone who shows the young woman a thing or two about real magic.
3) "Kirara Cuts Loose" – My first non-Ranma story. Instead, I'm going to briefly wander through the world of Inuyasha. What happens when Kirara decides to stretch her legs and take a walk while her charges are sleeping? And what about those poor greedy goblins who cross her path? Cue the "Looney Tunes" music… Hopefully this idea hasn't been done before or at least done to death.
BTW: I added some comments to my profile regarding Genma. Please feel free to contact me via PM regarding the profile comments if you wish.
May everyone have a safe and happy New Year!
Skystrider
