Dear Santa Claus,

Hey, I'm Brittany. I'm the smartist person in Amerika and if u haven't heard of me, that's kinda mean, and I won't stand for bulleeing. Anyway, this Christmas I'd like everyone to be happy

I'd also like Lord Tubbington to quit smoking

Again

I hope the elves are all well and that Mrs Claus and little baby jesus r having a lovely christmas. I hope the reindeers don't catch raybees off the cat on my street and that the whole in the ozone hasn't given you any sunburn like a few years ago. Merry Christmas.

Brittany