A/N: So, this was an interesting prompt to get. Took a while to figure out exactly where it was gonna go, but hopefully this has worked out ok – should be an entertaining, if very very weird, read! Let me know if you enjoy :)
Created with the collaboration of my ever-wonderful beta ohmygodnotthecar – thanks for the inspiration, dude! And yes, yes we are channelling the sibling dynamic far too much at this stage... Which is strange, because we're both older siblings. But anyway, moving on.
Disclaimer: If we owned them, there would be shirtlessness. Lots of shirtlessness. Mmmm...
Kangaroo
"Woah, that is just... creepy."
"Really? Pretty much just looks crappy to me."
"Ha. Yeah, you're hilarious. It creeps me out, ok?"
"Seriously? Come on, it's so unrealistic. A 10-foot-tall, orange kangaroo? Nothing scary about something that looks that fake. Or that welcomes people into the freakin' kiddies' zoo. But then, most normal people don't think clowns are scary either... Hey, maybe you're regressing 'cause you used up too many brain cells being a nerd. Your subconscious is five years old. That would explain it."
"Dean, will you knock it off? Fear of clowns is actually pretty common, ok? Which you know anyway, so could you maybe consider stopping irritating the hell out of me for no reason? Actually, come to think of it, that's something a 5-year-old would do..."
"Great. So, it's agreed, we're even. Come on, Sammy, stop staring at it like it's gonna bite you. I promise, I'll protect you from the great big chunk of – fibreglass, or whatever the hell that thing's made out of."
"Seriously, can you just shove it? Just for an hour maybe? I swear, that would be like a record for you. I mean it. It's just freaking me out. The thing's eyes are yellow! And they keep following me around."
"... What the hell?"
"You know, like those paintings that always weirded you out? That's the vibe I'm getting from this thing."
"Vibe? You're getting a vibe from a random inanimate object?"
"Wow, inanimate, big words. You been watering your IQ or something?"
"Stow it, college boy. Do not start playing the geek card on me. I'll rip it right out your hand and beat you into the ground with it."
"That sentence just... doesn't work on so many levels..."
"Ha! See, told you. I win."
"Screw you."
"Petty insults? Sammy, I'm so disappointed."
"Dean, I think it might be possessed."
"... The fuck? Ok, now you're just doing it to annoy me, right? Can we not just move on, where it won't be able to, whatever, see you any more?"
"But... it's weird."
"Oh, dude, come on. You sound like a snotty little sheltered brat. I can't believe I let you hunt with me. Maybe we should wrap you up in cotton wool, keep you locked up safe in the motel every time there's a nasty? Then I can kill it, then I'll come back and we can care and share and I can tell you that everything's gonna be ok..."
"Look, I get it, ok? You've made your damn point. God, if you ran your mouth off any more... actually, I don't think that would be possible. I swear, the day you catch a freakin' cold and lose your voice, even just for a few hours, it'll be the happiest day of my life."
"Oh, Sammy, I'm touched. Your concern for me, really, it's just... it's too much."
"You know what? I give up. Let's just – get this over with."
"Oh, is Sammy ready to move on past the big scary kangaroo now? Ok, then, as long as you're sure..."
"Fine, whatever. Christo."
"Dude, did you just say something?"
"Erm... fine, whatever?"
"No, after that."
"No. Nothing."
"Dude, you totally did! You just Christo'ed the giant kiddies' kangaroo! Dad would be... so proud."
"Yeah, whatever. Better safe than sorry."
"You know what? On second thoughts, let's... let's grab some stuff out the car. I think I see what you mean about the eyes. I think they just moved."
"Really?"
"No, dude. I'm. Messing. With you. Weird, gullible little freak."
xxxxx
Hee! Well, we enjoyed writing it... Looks like Dean got his revenge for the stripper thing after all :) Review please! Validate our sense of humour (or just tell us we're insane)!
