AN: So when I reviewed this story looking for inspiration I realised that I had jumped forward by over a year, so missed the anniversary of the end of the war, and other key dates like Christmas and birthdays. So over the next few chapters there will be a focus on some key events in their lives, and a few references to events previously missed. It also means that its nearly time for Draco and Hermione to graduate as Healers.

Warning - this chapter is a little dark, so please be warned.


Chapter Fourteen - Draco's Story Part II

"Can you believe that in two weeks time we"ll be qualified healers?" Draco asked Hermione as they sat in front of the fire, watching the snow fall outside.

"No" she smiled at him "but then I never thought that tomorrow I would celebrate Christmas at The Burrow with the Weasley's and the Malfoy's."

Draco hugged her tighter and sighed, "neither did I. I'm still surprised mother agreed so easily."

Hermione giggled as she remembered Molly Weasley turning up one evening that Narcissa and Draco had been at her place for dinner. Molly had taken a seat and invited the Malfoy's for Christmas dinner with her family and added that Andromeda and Teddy would be coming too. Both Draco and Hermione had been slightly stunned when Narcissa politely accepted and asked if there was anything she could do to assist.

"Did you know she has been in regular contact with Mrs Weasley?" Draco asked, drawing Hermione from her memory, "really?"

"Mmm, I'm glad really, some of her old friends are still being awkward with her" Draco sighed, "its like they either don't trust her anymore or feel that she went against what was expected of her and was a bad wife for not standing by my father despite the amount of abuse she suffered."

Hermione could feel his body tense around her as it always did when they discussed the war. She moved so that she could look at him, "you both deserve to be respected and admired for everything you endured before and during the war. I don't care what side you were on, you and Cissa suffered just like the rest of us. I know that the anniversary was just as hard for you as it was for the rest of us."

Draco could feel the tears welling in his eyes, not just at Hermione's words but also at the look of admiration and respect in her eyes. He knew at that moment that he needed to tell her the truth about what he'd done because he also desperately needed to tell her that he loved her bit she needed to hear the truth first.

Draco distanced himself slightly from Hermione and looked at her and said "I need to tell you something, something I'm not proud of, I just, I just hope you understand why".

Hermione held his gaze and nodded. The atmosphere in the room had changed completely. Gone was the warm cosy atmosphere of a couple curled up happily together celebrating their first Christmas with each other. They now sat at opposite ends of the sofa facing each other in an atmosphere thick with tension.

"Remember I told you Crabbe, Goyle and I were sent to a muggle house to torture the family that lived there?" Hermione nodded, to nervous to speak.

"Well Crabbe and Goyle wasted no time, before I knew it the mother was hanging upside down and the father was being crucio'd. Their screams must have woken their children cause two small boys about 5 and 7 were suddenly at the top of the stairs. I saw them but I couldn't move in case the others noticed. The boys saw everything we did to their parents. It was only by some miracle that Crabbe and Goyle didn't see them. Anyway we got back to the Manor and the Death Eaters wanted details. Crabbe and Goyle explained in great delight what they'd done. I was still stunned at the events, and stayed silent, and it was pointed out that I did nothing. When we were excused my father dragged me into his room and started asking why I hadn't done anything and tried to penetrate my mind to see the events of the evening. When I refused any details he used "levicorpus" to hand me upside down while he went to retrieve my mother. He then crucio'd her until I told him everything he wanted to know."

Draco paused to collect himself, Hermione wanted to reach out and grab his hand but she could see that he didn't want her to touch him at the moment. The only way she could show her support was to hold his gaze despite the tears streaming down her face.

"It was several days later when I got called into a meeting. Voldemort told me that Aunt Bella was going out hunting and I was to go with her. I knew this was my punishment and there was no way she would let me stand there and do nothing. Aunt Bella grabbed my arm and we apparated away. We landed in the alleyway of some muggle town. Aunt Bella was casting spells and jinxes, muggles were falling over or hitting things with no idea why. She made a woman fly into the rod and laughed when she was hit by a car".

Hermione gasped, but Draco continued.

"She grabbed my arm again and we apparated to another muggle town. This time we walked down the streets until we found a house that she liked the look of. Finally she stopped and started laughing before turning to me and saying "time for some fun". I could see the excitement and delight in her eyes. We made our way to the back of the house and she cast a silencing charm, pointing out that we didn't want to be interrupted. When she entered the house I knew I had to follow, and by the time I got to their living room they were already screams, and it was ten times worse than Crabbe and Goyle."

Draco twisted in his seat, as if trying to get rid of the deep uncomfortableness he was feeling, but still Hermione would not drop his gaze. Hermione herself was getting scared at how detached and empty he looked, as if he had to completely remove himself from her and his feelings to be able to relive his experiences. She was also feeling a sense of dread that she hadn't heard the worst yet.

Taking a deep breath, Draco continued "Aunt Bella had been torturing the parents for several minutes when she then used petrificus totalus to freeze them in place before heading upstairs, calling at me to follow. Upstairs we found a teenage girl of about 15 or 16, a boy of about 10 and a little girl who looked about 5 or 6. They were hiding in a cupboard, but that didn't stop Aunt Bella. She dragged them out and when they fought back she stunned them. Soon they were all out cold, and I was ordered to levitate them downstairs. It was impossible to levitate them all at once without either dropping one or knocking them into things. Once we got them downstairs I make the mistake of looking at the parents and they looked so scared and pained that we had their children."

"As the children came round Aunt Bella started playing with them like toys, asking if they were enjoying the magic show. She levitated the boy and made him fly around the room, hitting into walls and the ceiling until she'd had enough. She then flicked her wand and he fell to the floor. I swear the crack of his head on the floor echoed through the house. It was then the teenage girls turn. She crucio'd her and then used the imperius curse to make her dance and touch me. I tried to move but Aunt Bella told me to enjoy it, other teenage boys would. I just stood there and closed my eyes as I didn't want to see the fear and pain in her or her parents eyes. After what felt like forever she stopped touching me and then Aunt Bella crucio'd her again. She then told me it was time for me to have some fun and I should consider it a reward for being chosen to go with her, "its ok Draco, she won't flight back" she said, looking at the girl twitching on the floor. It was then I realised that she expected me to rape her. I said no and that I didn't want to and Bella just smiled and said that I didn't have a choice. When I refused again she crucio'd me and said she would keep doing so until I did as I was told."

At this point Hermione couldn't hold back anymore, she launched across the sofa and threw her arms around Draco trying to offer him the comfort he obviously needed. Despite Draco trying to resist he found he couldn't and hugged her back, before moving them so that Hermione was sitting across his lap, snuggled into his side, with their arms around each other, knowing he needed to finish and actually feeling a little relieved that Hermione was no longer looking at him.

"I don't know how long she crucio'd me, but at one point she was alternating between me and the girl. I knew I had to end it, so I told her to stop and that I'd do what she wanted." He felt Hermione tense, but she didn't move and she didn't let go. Her heart was breaking though, because she knew that Draco was not a rapist and he was being forced to, but she wasn't sure she wanted to hear anymore. Could she live with knowing the rest of his story?

Before Hermione could say anything "I slowly made my way over to her, she was twitching and curled tight in a ball. I reached out to touch her and she screamed, and then Bella laughed, "no one can hear you". I could see how scared she was, and I selfishly hoped she could see I was scared to. Aunt Bella was intermittently flicking jinxes at the other two children and I just knew I had to get it over with, so I grabbed hold of her and pushed her down, and as I leaned over her I knew I couldn't do it, and I couldn't live that life, and I didn't want to. I pulled back and shouted no. Aunt Bella turned to look at me laughed and pressed her dark mark."

Tears were falling from Draco's eyes now too, and he could feel Hermione's sobs against his chest, but he still couldn't look at her.

"Before I could comprehend what she had done, Voldemort arrived and Aunt Bella was chanting "I broke him, I broke him". I realised that all along this trip had been designed to break me, it was a final test to see if what he suspected about me was true, and it was. My arms and legs were bound and I was immobilised. He then killed them, one at a time, youngest to oldest and the parents last. We apparated back to the Manor and I was put straight in the dungeon. I remember feeling surprised that he hadn't killed me to. I'd seen him kill supporters for less."

Draco finally turned to look at Hermione, who looked totally heart broken. Tears were still falling from her eyes and he was wondering how she still had tears to cry. She was shaking and he could see she was trying not to fall apart more.

"Still think I'm not an evil screw up?" he asked quietly, not wanting to meet her gaze.

"Look at me Draco" she asked, and when he didn't respond, she moved so that she was straggling him and she put her hands on his shoulders leaving him no option but to look at her, "you are not an evil screw up and I will keep telling you that until you believe me. What you have been through is horrific, and its a miracle your alive, and its a miracle you are the person you are today. I love you Draco Malfoy and nothing you have told me tonight has changed that, if anything it has just made me love you more realising exactly what you have been though."

"You love me?"

"Yes, I love you, I was just waiting for a time that felt right to tell you" she smiled.

"But I nearly raped a young girl, I watched while people were tortured, you included, I didn't do anything to stop any of it" he said, amazed that she wasn't telling him how evil he was.

"The key word is nearly Draco, and it wasn't exactly like you planed or wanted to. You stopped before you did, and you only comprehended it because of the torture you had been subjected to. As for not stopping any of the torture, what would have happened if you had stepped in, said no, tried to make it stop?"

"They'd have killed me" he whispered

"Exactly" she replied "and then they probably would have carried on what they were doing. You can't blame yourself for other peoples actions Draco, especially when your life is on the line, yours and Cissa's."

"But..."

"But nothing."

"You really don't hate me"

"No I love you, I just wish you'd stop hating and blaming yourself".

Draco pulled Hermione too him, needing to feel her close to him, needing to hold on to her. Hermione hugged him back. Neither was sure how long they held each other, but eventually Draco pulled back and put his forehead against hers and said "I love you too, I just needed you to know everything before I could tell you. I love you Hermione and I don't ever want to loose you".

"You won't" she whispered.