First time May says she loves Coulson

Did you see Mays face when the car blew up in The Bridge? She looked completely devastated at the thought that Coulson was in there. She has a remarkable amount of control over her emotions so when I saw this I couldn't help but wonder what might have happened if Coulson had been seriously hurt when she has less emotional control.

Enjoy :)


May hated hospitals. They reminded her of a time in her life she would rather forget and yet she was finding herself in them more and more frequently. Coulson had said she was developing a tendency to act before thinking, going on a gut feeling which was resulting in her getting hurt more times than not. But she wasn't in hospital tonight for herself; tonight she was sneaking in to see Coulson.

May silently walked down the corridors towards Coulsons room. The hospital was quite, the only noises coming from the machines and a few nurses, which she had to keep hiding from. She wasn't supposed to be here. Her mission was in Sacramento and it was not complete.

She stopped at the end of the corridor, carefully looking around the corner to see if SHIELD had posted anyone outside Coulsons door. She supposed it was a good sign they hadn't, it meant she could get in and that the circumstances around his injury weren't as bad as she had thought but she couldn't help feel a little angry they hadn't taken that extra precaution.

Slowly walking towards his room, she scanned the area around her. It was 3.30am but hospitals never sleep and she didn't want to think about the amount of trouble she would be in if SHIELD discovered she had left her mission to drive 8hours to see Coulson. She had heard he was in hospital when she had checked in that morning. She doubted she was supposed to hear it but when she had called her handler the office had been going crazy in the background.

Ground Team Red 14AG under attack, request immediate support, bomb squad stand by, Red leader critical, repeat, request immediate support, we have multiple casualties.

Her heart had stopped when she heard it; Phil was red leader.

She hadn't seen him in 6months, hadn't spoken to him in 2. Life of a SHIELD agent; she loved it but sometimes it took it's toll. She had been working alone in Sacramento so she had no one to explain herself to when she jumped in her car and drove straight up here.

Quickly and quietly she slipped into his room, feeling her heart drop as she laid eyes on Phil. He looked like he had been dragged to hell and back. His arm and leg were broken, his face covered in bruises and cuts and she could see a bandage wrapped around his torso, presumably hiding a nasty wound. She was shaking as she sat down on the edge of his bed. Gently running her fingers down his cheek, she let out a shaky breath, feeling tears welling behind her eyes. She clenched her jaw trying to fight off the emotions she was feeling. In all the years she had known him, he had never looked so hurt. They had had too many close calls but never had she actually thought she could loose him.

"What have you gotten yourself into Phil?" She whispered, desperately wanting to lie down next to him, to feel his heart beat and the warmth of his body to reassure herself that he really was okay.

She hadn't told him but it had been her idea to take separate assignments. A mission had come up in Mongolia for one agent with a special set of skills, ones that matched hers. She had hesitated when she heard about it, and that had forced her to take it. She was first and foremost a SHIELD agent and if she was hesitating over a mission because her mind was on someone else she was not doing her job properly. He hadn't said anything but she knew he was shocked. They had been partners for years, they worked perfectly together; she would even go as far as saying they worked better together than alone. He hadn't understood why they had been split up.

Looking over at him now, she felt a pang of regret. She was his partner; she was supposed to have his back, to look out for him.

"I'm sorry." Carefully she lifted his hand into her lap, gently tracing patterns on his palm. "I shouldn't have gone, I should have had your back." May sighed, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a tiny seashell.

"I had my reasons and they seemed so right at the time. I just don't know now." Turning the shell over in her hand she smiled.

"Sacramento isn't really my speed, and you'll never believe this but I don't think I like working alone." May chucked.

"Call me when you wake up Phil." Placing the shell on the table, May realized she didn't want to leave.

Leaning forward she placed a soft kiss on his cheek, careful not to hurt him.

"I love you." She whispered so quietly she wasn't even sure she had said it. Making her way to the door she froze and looked back over at Coulson. She really had missed him.