I knocked on Harvey's door softly.
I will not have sex with Harvey Specter tonight.
He opened the door and leaned one arm against it. He still had on his white button up, his hair slightly ruffled. But it was open to reveal his chest. His eyes stared at me with the promise of something tonight. I looked down and cleared my throat.
Shit.
"Won't you come in," he asked in a mocking tone. He stepped aside with a smile and made a sweeping motion to the inside of his house. I rolled my eyes and walked in, trying to be confident as I laid my purse on the large kitchen island.
"So where is the wine," I asked. He walked to his living room motioning for me to follow. I followed him and took that glory seconds to examine his backside. I blushed.
Shit.
"Stop checking me out," he said as he reached the grey sofa. Wine was in an ice bucket on the coffee table. I smiled and slid right next to him.
"You know you like it."
He smiled and took a sip of his wine. I did as well and set it down, the taste bitter sweet on my tongue.
"Harvey," I said. "Where is this going?" He paused for a minute and then leaned in.
"Obviously you know." His lips met mine softly. I savored the taste and pulled back last minute. My hand stayed on his chest. Oh lord that chest.
"Harvey," I said looking into his eyes. I tried to be serious. "Where do you think this is going?" He didn't speak and stood up with his glass. He walked a few paces of the room to look at his window.
"I don't know. I didn't really think we were at that level yet."
"What do you mean?"
"Well-"
"God damn it! I would like to have a conversation with your front not your back." I was up on my feet now, staring him down. He wasn't going to get out of this. I glanced back at my wine. It looks like I was staying sober tonight.
He set his glass down with a slam and turned to face me.
"What do you want me to say," he asked. "That I think we should be exclusive? Engaged? You make it sound like we are months into this thing."
I stared at him incredulously. "Thing? What exactly is this thing? Are we just going to have sex for a few months until you find another play thing?"
"Play thing? Right. I thought that's what you wanted."
I nodded my voice raising. "Believe me, the sex is great. But I'm not a few months thing. Excuse me, for not wanting to be someone's bitch."
"Of course you wouldn't be."
"Then answer the question. It's not hard. Where is this going? Do you want to be exclusive?" I asked. I poked my finger into his chest to punctuate each word. He shrugged.
"We only had sex a couple of times for fucks sake. I think this conversation is a little early."
I stepped back.
"Think on it," I said as I walked away. I grabbed my purse from the counter and shut the door behind me a little harder than necessary.
I was in my office slamming on my stapler when Harvey walked in. The sound ricocheted off the walls in the huge room. I didn't stop to look up at him. I didn't stop to ask him what he wanted. His hand came into my view and rested lightly on mine, stopping it from making another sound.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly. I looked up to me his eyes. They were apologetic. I shook my head.
"No I'm sorry," I replied getting up. "I don't know what I was saying. I knew this was casual. I just got scared." I walked to the front of the desk and stopped in front of him.
"Scared of what?"
The question seemed innocent enough if it didn't make my heart start to speed, my hands start to shake. I turned away and made my way over to the window. The sun was glaring off the skyscrapers. It made my eyes burn slightly but I didn't look away.
"I'm scared of what I might start feeling. And I thought that if we were in a relationship I wouldn't feel like one of your…." I trailed off. I didn't want to hurt him like that. But I felt vulnerable. I didn't like it. It made my face twitch and my skin crawl. I heard the twist of the lock. A few seconds later I felt his arms wrap around me, his chin on my shoulder. I leaned back into his muscular chest and took a deep breath. The smell of his cologne sent shivers down my spine.
"You are more than one of those…You are strong and beautiful. Trust me, if this goes nowhere I will probably be the one crushed." He said in my ear. His voice was low and husky. His hands moved to where they were splayed across my stomach.
I laughed. "Yeah right, I have heard you have a tremendous bounce back rate." I rested my head on the back of his shoulder. I felt his nose push back my hair and he started planting kisses down my neck.
"You should know," he murmured with a grin. I sighed and turned to face him.
The next twenty minutes were great. It started out roughly. My tongue tangled with his. I hands roamed over his body and groped him through his pants. Quiet moans were muffled. His pants were being tore. We didn't strip completely because someone could come in at any moment.
But something changed. We slowed down. Instead of hot and heavy, it was tender. The sensations seemed to magnify. His squeezes turned into soft touches.
We had slow sensual sex on my office floor. Then he attempted to slick back his messed up hair, straightened his tie, gave me a kiss, and left my office.
I leaned against the door, my mind racing.
What the hell was that?
