A/N: So this story occurs a few hours after the end of Split Personality. It's Bujeet centric, but other characters play a role too.
"I wanna sing!"
"Ugh." Major Monogram held his hands over his ears. "Carl, can't we get rid of him? He's driving me crazy!"
"Really sir? I think he's kind of entertaining."
"Carl!"
"Okay, fine. I'll go see if I can work Phineas and Ferb's molecular splitter."
"I wanna sing sing sing!"
"And hurry Carl!"
Carl rolled his eyes at his boss's neuroticism. He'd gotten used to it over the course of the summer, but…well; there were really no words to explain it. He popped open the hatch that led to the main room, walking over to the splitter. "Now, let's see." He pulled down on the handle, causing a ray to come out of the machine, hitting the singing Monogram and dividing him into four Monograms. "Oops."
"We wanna sing!" The four Monograms started singing in a barbershop quartet form.
Carl held his stomach, trying to keep from laughing.
"Great googly moogly Carl! What is this?"
"I'm sorry sir, but…but…" he collapsed onto the floor laughing.
"Carl, I told you—"
Perry dropped down into the lair, landing on top of the splitter and pulling the other handle down. Immediately, the four Monograms went away, leaving behind only one.
"Thank goodness. That was getting out of hand." Major Monogram wiped his brow in relief. "Now Agent P, before I tell you what Doofenshmirtz is up to, I want you to get rid of that molecular….whatever the heck it is."
"Molecular splitter sir," Carl chimed in.
"I know that Carl. Anyway Agent P, take the splitter and get rid of it. Now."
Perry saluted, dragging the molecular splitter up the shoot.
Perry emerged a few seconds later in the Flynn-Fletcher yard. He set the molecular splitter upright, sitting under it for a few seconds as he fanned himself with his hat.
"I cannot believe that! We are dating and you had to run me up the flagpole!" Baljeet walked into the yard, followed by Buford.
"Hey, I kissed you didn't I?"
"Well it was not a very good one!"
"Well I—hey, what's this?" Perry dived behind a nearby bush, peeking out as Buford examined the splitter. "It looks like a camera."
"A camera? That is not a camera." Baljeet studied the thing in front of him. "It has no screen in the back."
"It's one of those old fashioned ones."
"Well, how does it work?"
"Um…" Buford played with a few switches.
"Wait! Stop!" Baljeet pushed Buford aside. "You do not know how to work a camera! Now, stand over there and I will take your picture."
"How about both of us stand here?"
"Well…" A small smile appeared on Baljeet's face, only to be replaced by a frown. "No, I am still mad at you. Therefore, you stand over there and I will take your picture."
"Fine. Make sure to get my good side."
"You have a good side?" Buford glared at him. "Heh. Nevermind."
"Just take the picture Jeet."
"Fine." Baljeet fiddled with the controls on the camera, finally pulling down a lever. A red beam shot out, zinging Buford, causing him to split in two. Baljeet stared, wide-eyed. "Oh dear. This is not good."
"You darn right it's not." One of the Buford's walked to him, menacingly pounding a fist into his hand. "I'm going to pummel you until you can't feel your legs."
"Now wait a minute Buford, we—"
The other Buford stood up, wearing a Shakespeare costume and staring at Baljeet. "Fear not my love! I will save you!"
"Wha—" Baljeet backed up, until he was up against the fence. "Buford, wait! Don't hurt…me?" He stared as Shakespeare Buford ran in front of him, holding back the advancing bully Buford.
"You will not harm him ruffian! For I am Buford the kind, and he—" He pointed to Baljeet. "He is my one true love."
"What are you talking about?! We have only been dating for six weeks!"
"But it feels like so much longer." Shakespeare Buford got down on one knee, staring imploringly at him while Bully Buford continued to advance.
"Ahhhhh!" Baljeet threw his hands in the air, running out of the yard.
"Wait my love!" Shakespeare Buford ran after him, followed by Bully Buford.
"I'm gonna pummel both of you!"
Slightly disturbed by this chain of events, Perry slowly crept out from behind the bush. He looked down as his watch blinked. "Agent P, did you take care of the molecular splitter yet?" Carl asked.
Perry held up the watch, showing the molecular splitter to Carl. "Oh. Well, I guess if it stays there and doesn't come down our way again, it's fine. Come back down Agent P, we need to tell you what Doofenshmirtz is up to today."
Perry turned, looking at the splitter before shrugging and jumping down the hole. It was just Buford and Baljeet; how much harm could it do?
