Thank you to everyone who has enjoyed this story and has been gracious enough to leave a review, it really means a lot to me.
I would also like to thank my betas kismet4891 and katnissinme, they are so helpful and encouraging.
In Name Only- Peeta's POV
Part 6
The evening had some brought relief from the day's stifling heat, but the air was still muggy. Peeta watched Finnick and Annie sit cozily on the couch in their living room. They often invited Peeta over on Saturday nights to have dinner with them. He enjoyed their company, but often felt like a third wheel. While he sat in the rocking chair and swirled his tumbler of whiskey on the rocks, Peeta listened to Finnick carry on about the case he'd just finished. He had represented Johanna Mason, the daughter of the local sawmill owner, who was being sued after she chased down a peeping tom with an ax. The jerk actually had the nerve to request money for pain and suffering.
"Of course we won," Finnick jested. "Flavius literally got caught with his pants down. Plus, I think that the jury was afraid to rule against Miss Mason, seeing as she has all the charm of a feral cat."
"She didn't actually hurt him, did she?"Peeta inquired. "The word around town is that he got beat up pretty bad."
"Yeah, he did. He tripped over his pantstrying to get away from her, and the jackass broke his jaw when he hit the ground. But, he got off lucky. Johanna would have chopped him up into pieces. Good thing for him that her papa was there and stopped it," Finnick laughed. "I bet he'll never look into a woman's window ever again – he actually pissed himself!"
Peeta thought about how Katniss would handle a similar situation, envisioning some pervert glaring at her through a window. Great, now I have one more thing to worry about when it comes to Katniss and her family. Although he did have one solace, he remembered that Harland often bragged of her accuracy with a shot gun – starlings and raccoons didn't have a chance on the Everdeen farm. I hope that she hasn't sold the gun.
Peeta returned his attention to his hosts. Taking in the loving couple, he noticed that Annie hadn't joined the men in enjoying a night cap as she typically she did. Peeta asked innocently, "None for you tonight, Annie?"
"Um, no," Annie blushed, and she and Finnick exchanged silly expressions, even going so far as to whisper in each others' ears. Annie nodded her head at her husband.
"Well, Peeta, we've got some news," Finnick announced with a smile. "We're going to have a baby!"
"Congratulations!" Peeta said sincerely, and rose to give Annie a hug and kiss, then moving to also shake Finnick's hand. He knew that they had wanted to start a family for a while.
They told Peeta that the baby would be due in December and he was the first person that they had let know about it. The three of them talked at length, and Peeta offered to help them paint the baby's room. After a while Annie excused herself to go to bed, citing that pregnancy had left her exhausted.
When Annie left the room Finnick off-handedly mentioned, "Katniss Everdeen was in my office the other day."
"Yeah?" Peeta said, trying to sound casual. Finnick used to love to tease Peeta about his affection for the girl, although it had all but stopped after Harland died. Now he would only remind Peeta of Katniss's age and availability from time to time.
"She was asking about how to become her sister's legal guardian," Finnick said soberly. "She confessed that her mother was not well and wasn't capable of taking care of Primrose anymore."
"I thought that you couldn't share all of this with me," Peeta said curiously. "Isn't that against lawyer/client privilege?"
"Yes, but I thought as her friend you would like to know what's going on with her," Finnick offered. "You know she's eighteen now."
"I know," he replied softly. Peeta was painfully aware of her age; he had patiently waited for May eighth. On her birthday he had made her sugar cookies and was going to ask her if he could take her and Prim for a car ride after church on Sunday, or if she would like to go on a picnic with him. It was a good plan, one that he had meticulously gone over in his head, but when she got there he lost his nerve. Peeta bumbled and gave her the excuse that the cookies had too much soda and that they were unsellable. Katniss took them, for once, with no arguments and a smile. She even threw her arms around his neck. The embrace was so fast that Peeta didn't have a chance to reciprocate. She almost instantly let go of him, as if she had been burned, quietly apologized and then abruptly left. He didn't even get a chance to wish her a happy birthday.
Failed attempts had become a reoccurring theme. Peeta would perpetually convince himself that he would ask her this week. He had a speech composed in his head and he had his confidence built up, but then something would always happen to cause him to abandon his plan. Katniss would walk in and look like she'd had a bad day or have a lot on her mind. Or more often than not, Peeta would second guess himself and lose his nerve. What if she isn't interested? Would she stop coming to me to sell eggs? What would she do then, and how would she feed her family? Things were further complicated when Katniss would bring Prim along with her after school had let out for the summer. Peeta liked the little girl well enough, but when she was with her sister the visits were much shorter and Prim often dominated the conversation.
Along with everything else, Peeta didn't want to risk their comfortable friendship, and the thought of not having her in his life frightened him. Not to mention the fact that his old insecurities had returned. Every time he used his cane, woke from a nightmare, or looked in the mirror he was reminded of just how damaged he was. He thought that Katniss deserved the best and he had convinced himself that he wasn't what was best for her.
It was now August – a full three months past her birthday. He had been in love with her for over a year and she still had no idea about how he felt. "So, could she become her sister's guardian?" Peeta asked Finnick.
"I wouldn't bet on it," Finnick sighed. "She's young, unmarried, living off a part-time job, and bartering. Snow keeps increasing the rent, she's going to get behind pretty quickly if she isn't already. The word is that he wants them out of there so he can put one of his hired hands in the house. It's just a matter of time before everything falls apart – they'll be evicted, and the little girl will probably have to go to the children's home. It didn't sound like they had anyone who could take them in."
Peeta emptied his glass. He had a feeling that things were not going well for her, but couldn't imagine how bad things truly were. He had been toying with the idea of offering Katniss a job, but then he would have to fire one of his employees. Mrs. Seeder had been with his family well over a decade, and she and her husband were struggling to send their son to college. His newly hired employee, Thom, needed all the hours he could get; his father was ill and he had several siblings to help support. Peeta knew the conclusion that everyone would come to if he were to hire her to do odd jobs – that something unsavory was going on between them. He didn't want to risk her reputation, it was one of the few things that she had in her favor.
"You know, if she had a husband, especially if he were a slightly older, well-established man, then keeping her sister wouldn't be an issue at all," Finnick commented. "I wonder who we know who would fit that bill?"
Peeta gave Finnick a pointed look and shook his head.
"Ah, Peeta just ask her out. She might surprise you and say yes," Finnick encouragingly said.
"And what if she say laughs at me and says no?" Peeta posed.
"You'll never know if you never ask," Finnick taunted him.
Peeta never replied and the conversation was over. A short while later he left his friend's home, but he wasn't ready to go home to an empty house. He decided to take a drive to clear his head, which was a fruitless endeavor because he couldn't turn off his thoughts. Katniss was looking slightly better fed recently, because she was able to eat from her garden and bartering was good at the moment. He could tell when she'd had a successful morning of trading, she walked a little taller and her mood was a little lighter. But that would only last so long and the garden's bounty could only do so much. Soon it would be autumn, and he would watch her suffer once more, only now it would be worse than before. She had to be running out of things to hock, and eventually something would have to be done about Mrs. Everdeen.
Without even realizing it he found himself headed down the lonely gravel road that led him past what was formerly the Everdeen farm. The little, weathered farm house sat somewhat close to the slowed down as he approached it; he could see that one room was lit by a kerosene lamp.
Peeta had unconsciously stopped in front the house and was watching the illuminated window when he saw a figure through the lace curtains. He knew Katniss's curves so well that he knew in an instant that it was her silhouette in the window. He sat transfixed as he watched her shadow unravel the braid and then proceed to run a comb or a brush through the length. It was the most sensual thing that he'd ever witnessed. Peeta had countless times, in both his dreams and waking hours, thought about what it would be like to run his fingers through that sleek length of her hair. He imagined that it was soft and silky, and that she would mewl in contentment when he would play with it at the end of the day. Of course this line of thinking led to other, less innocent thoughts, and for a few moments he allowed himself to ruminate on these. He easily conjured the image of helping her out of a dress at night to prepare for bed and watching her select a nightgown, only to have him help her out of that, too, and lie her down on the mattress.
Suddenly the curtains were yanked open and Katniss's face appeared through the window to stare at the idling vehicle in front of the house. Even from such a distance he could tell that she was scowling. "Damn it!" Peeta cursed, and quickly put the Model A in gear and pressed his foot to the pedal, speeding away. Peeta chastised himself. So much for worrying about other men spying on her, I'm the creep staring at her and fantasizing!
Peeta slowed once he got a safe distance from the house. Thinking about the situation, Peeta had never been as frustrated as he was at that moment, in more ways than one. He loved and desired Katniss, but he couldn't tell her. He had the means to comfortably take care of her and those she cared about, yet he was powerless to help her. I have to think of a way to help them and soon, or I'm going to go insane.
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it.
