2 – Clarity

Jenny was pacing around waiting for Nate. She was wondering why on earth she had agreed to meet him, but still she hadn't found the answer. After a long talk, Dan had persuaded her, but she had imposed a few conditions. She wanted to meet him at the loft, cause she wanted to have control over the situation; the second was that whenever she decided it was too much for her, Nate would go away without protests.

She finally heard the doorbell rang. 'you can do that, J! Just keep your head up, no matter what!'

-"Hi Jenny"-

-"Hi"-

She shifted a bit to allow him to step inside. He came inside and sat on the couch.

-"So, what do you want to know?"-

-"Jen…."-

-"No, you're not here to chit-chat with me. Just ask what you want to know, so I can go on with my life and forget this story."-

-"OK, I want to know what has gotten in your mind. I want to know why you slept with Chuck. And I want to know if it was worth to lose everything."-

She already felt tears threatening to fall. But she promised herself she would have been strong. She wasn't going to let him see her pain.

-"I don't know. I couldn't stop. I was sinking, and I couldn't keep afloat. I figured the only way out was to drown faster."-

He was astonished. He knew she had some problems, but he didn't know how much lost she felt.

-"Jenny I didn't know you felt like that"-

-"I kept my appearance strong. I was so amazed with that world that even if I knew I was out of control, I couldn't let anyone know, cause I didn't want to lose the game."- She sighed when she felt tears again –"I was looking for you…"-

-"What?"-

-"I was looking for you… The night I slept with Chuck."-

By then the tears were running through her cheeks.

-"Nate can you leave please? I can't, it's too much…"-

She started to walk to her room but he got up and grabbed her wrist –"You can't expect me to leave after you said something like that!"-

She shook his hand away -" I came to see you, but you weren't there. I saw Chuck drowning his sorrows with one of his bottles, and I decided to try with his method. I was in autopilot. I didn't even remember how we got that far, but when I found myself on his bed I was sure I didn't want to stop. I was so numb I didn't even think about the consequences. I didn't think I was giving myself to someone who thinks I'm inferior, I still don't know if he used a condom, and at the time I didn't even care."- He flinched at her words –"I don't want you to think I came to the Empire to seduce you. I came to talk to you, to find a way out, cause you knew about everything had happened."-

-"I'm sorry"-

-"Don't be. You have a life, and I couldn't expect you to be always waiting to solve my problems. Anyway, it doesn't matter anymore. I want to leave all this mess in the past. I need to. And I need to be away from UES. And that includes you, and Eric, and Lily."-

-"Jenny you don't have to do this."-

-"I do. I'm not planning to go to UES anytime soon . I don't want to fall down again. Cause I won't have a backpack anymore. I'm lucky I was able to persuade Dan and my father. I don't want to go to Hudson cause I like to be here.."_

Nate was getting angry. With Jenny, and with himself. -"you're so freaking selfish! You always think it's all about yourself! You never think about how the things you do can affect the others. There's people who cares about you!"-

-"Do you Nate? Have you ever thought about how leaving me to stay with Vanessa, or rubbing all your girlfriends, and milfs, in my face affected me? Have you ever stopped to think about the reason I've always had to beg you for your forgiveness, while everyone else came out clean?"-

-"That's because you're different…"- He screamed.
-"That's not what you've said not so long ago. But you're right, I'm different. Or better, I'm working on it. And to reach my goal, I have to stay away from Manhattan."- Now she was furious. She seemed to be talking to a wall. He wasn't listening to her. He wasn't able to understand her.

-"Jenny come on, do you really think it's a solution? Exile yourself here and shut out the rest of the world?"-

-"I'm not shutting out the world, I'm shutting out the world who ruined me, along with the people who hurt me."-

He put the pieces together. If she's excluding the people who hurt her, and she is excluding him as well…He hurt her!

-"I hurt you too…"- He didn't have the courage to look at her –" I….I'm going home…. Don't worry, I'll respect your wish… Just… Promise me It's not for ever…Please Jenny, promise me!"-

-"I'll only came back to UES if my father needs me, or for some events, where I'm going to play 'happy family' with Serena. Goodbye Nate"-

Nate came out from the loft and found a limo parked . The door opened and he stepped inside.

-"So, why did you visit Little J? Did you want to have your way with her too?"-

-"Blair what do you want?"-

-"I want to know what you were doing here, and What did she said to you…"-

-"None of your business and none of your business"-

-"Is she planning on coming back?"-

-"No."-

-"What then?"-

-"I had to listen to her…"-

-"And?"-

-"And she told me to back off and leave her be. Away from UES. Away from us."-

-"Good. She better keep on like that"-

Truth is, they didn't expect to face a situation like that. Nate couldn't believe that his actions were part of the reason Jenny became a bad mix of Blair and Georgina. And he couldn't believe that Chuck had hurt Blair and everyone, sleeping with Jenny.

Blair was just as confused as Nate. She didn't think that Jenny could've had the courage to sleep with Chuck. And she couldn't believe that Chuck could've used Jenny, even the bitchy version of her, like a hooker to forget his sorrows.

Little did they know, Chuck and Jenny were just as astonished as they were

Chuck was in Prague thinking about how to gain Blair forgiveness. But he also wanted Jenny's one.

On the other side, Jenny didn't think she owed anything to Chuck. They took advantage of each other, and they ended up sleeping together. According to Jenny, It was what it was. It wasn't special, it wasn't romantic. It was painful, and it was dirty and it was all about Chuck. He didn't say sweet words, he didn't ask her if she was sure, or fine. She just wanted to forget it ever happened.

I'm sorry if this chapter is so short, but I felt like 'The Big Talk' needed a chapter for itself. I'll try to make up to you in the next chapter.

By the way, Don't worry: Jenny is not Pregnant! And Blair would calm down eventually.

By the way: Brace yourself, Georgina is coming!