AN: the characters do not belong to me. I thank my lovely beta, Granthamfan, for always doing such wonderful work on my edits, and Settees-Under-Siege for giving me the idea for this story through a comment in tumblr.
A New Day Dawns
I opened my eyes, finding my room crowded with my daughters, Isobel and O'Brien.
Sybil leaned over me, a clean, cool cloth in her hand that she promptly ran over my brow. "Mama? Can you hear me this time? Please keep your eyes open just for a few minutes."
I did my best to comply, but it was due to the fact that I wished to stay conscious long enough to see if Jane was still there. I peered into the corner in which she had been standing the previous night. It wasn't easy to see over that kind of distance since my eyes were remarkably bleary and so many people were standing in the way, crowded round my bed. It took me a few blinks of my burning eyes to see that the corner was empty. She might not be there presently, but I didn't think she would be gone for long. She was probably sneaking off with Robert at this very minute!
A groan escaped my lips and Sybil jumped a little. Isobel leaned closer, her face concerned, as well. "Shall I ring for the doctor? He's only just left, but if she needs more epinephrine..."
Sybil nodded. "I don't want to be caught short if she stops breathing again. It brought her back before."
Isobel moved off the bed and I heard her skirts rustling, but my mind was fully fixed on Jane and Robert. My breath started to come in gasps as I felt the weight of the situation fall heavily upon me. He didn't love me. When did he stop loving me?
Sybil, the room and all else began to spin away from me, and I was almost glad because it was the room where Jane had laughed at me in the corner, the room where I'd been so sure of Robert and I as an enduring couple. The room where I had to be constantly aware of the loss of my husband. Tears began to fall from my eyes as I felt a hand squeezing mine. Probably O'Brien, but then I was back in the darkness again, although everything was flickering. When it ceased, I could easily see Robert and Jane once again embracing in the apple orchard. Then the scene sped up and I heard Sybil again, coaxing me to wake up.
However, once I opened my eyes, I found myself face to face with the last person I wanted to see. Robert.
"Cora? My darling? Please come back to me. For good this time," he implored. His eyes were rimmed in red and his voice was husky with unshed tears.
"Why? You have Jane," I replied, noticing that my breath was coming much more easily despite the tightness of emotion in my throat.
His eyes narrowed. "Jane? I don't know anyone by that name, sweetheart."
I tried to shake my head but had to limit my movement because of the pain and overall weakness of my body. "She's the new maid. You love her. Not me."
Robert looked up at Sybil with alarm. "What does this mean? I thought she was supposed to have turned the corner!" He turned back to me, the tears that I heard in his voice dripped onto my face and hands. He lifted my hands and pressed my fingers to his lips with a desperate kiss. "Please, Cora! Start making sense! You can't leave me now. Not after frightening us so badly. Please!"
Sybil ran for the door and appeared with Dr. Clarkson at her side. He took my pulse, looked me over and declared that my fever was gone. "As it has been for days, I might remind you. She took a very long time to awaken, but it's not surprising considering the severity of the illness. She did stop breathing several times and was revived with the epinephrine."
Robert eyed him sharply. "She's talking about things that never occurred. Is that because of what happened," his hands gestured wildly in futile grasping for the reality of the concept, "before the injections?"
The doctor shook his head. "No, there's no permanent damage as she was treated so quickly. I think it's much more likely that Lady Grantham has been suffering from nightmares."
Sybil took my other hand. "Mama? Did you have bad dreams?"
I nodded, letting the tears come.
Before I could speak, Sybil leaned down to give me a gentle hug. I tried to wrap my arms around her, but my arms felt too heavy to lift. Instead, I let myself relax into her embrace. My youngest daughter. The one with whom, in so many ways, I had much in common. She felt like a safe haven among the dreams and confusion. Her touch and voice made me feel like I was home again.
While Sybil was so close, I saw my only opportunity to find out what was happening. "Is there really no maid named Jane?"
Sybil kissed my forehead as she gently backed away. She smiled as she looked into my eyes, shaking her head. "No, Mama. There's no Jane."
I felt relief flooding my mind and body. No Jane? It was only a nightmare? Really? I frowned at the speed of the thoughts coursing through my mind.
"Who was that out there by the apple tree, in the wind?" My voice was small, lost, confused.
Robert looked at me with eyes that had once again filled with tears. As he stared at me, they began to fall. He didn't even try to hide them, a fact that left me astonished. "You. That's where we found you that afternoon when you said you were hot and wanted to take a walk to get some air. Isis started barking and wouldn't leave me alone, so I went go the window and looked outside. I thought you were - never mind. You were just lying there on the ground, not moving... I've never run so fast in my life. Not even in South Africa."
My focus on him grew watery. "You really do love me?"
He nodded and gently gathered me up in his arms. "You, Cora, and you alone." He brushed a loose strand of hair from my eyes. "There is no Jane and there never was. Even if there were, I'd only have love for you!"
I started to sob with relief. He loved me! It was all just a dream! He laid me down again, never taking his eyes from mine. Even though I felt weak from the sickness, my confidence in Robert and our love was surging strong within me. I let him arrange the covers around me, placing my head on the pillow in the most comfortable way. Throughout it all, my tears continued to flow from gratefulness and that moment when one realizes that their worst fears were only a shadow.
"Hush now, my love, you must get your rest. Don't cry. I'm not going anywhere- now or ever." He wiped away my tears with his fingertips and kisses before settling beside me and putting his arm around me. Within minutes, the nearness of Robert and the assurance of his love lulled me into a deep sleep without any dreams at all.
When I woke the next morning, I still felt groggy from the influenza but more rested than I had in years. The war had taken its toll on everyone, I knew. I turned over and saw Robert sleeping peacefully beside me and grinned. He loved me and it was over. I let my finger ghost along his cheek, trying to not wake him from what was undoubtedly a much-needed slumber. He muttered a little as I withdrew my hand, his face contorting with an anguished expression.
"Robert? Wake up, my darling," I whispered, caressing his face again to try to calm whatever dream from which he was facing torment.
In a second, he opened his eyes and looked at me with fear followed by relief. "Oh, Cora. You're here. You're alive." He grasped my hand and pulled it to his lips, desperately kissing the back of my hand.
I inched toward him with painstaking motions. My body still hurt from the days of coughing and struggling to breathe, feeling as if it should be black and blue from head to toe. "I'm here, alive. I'm not going anywhere. Not without you!"
He sighed. "I suppose my dreams are borne of guilt," he began. "I was not fair to you during the war. I resented that you had a purpose and I was just left behind. I'm so sorry, Cora. Can you ever forgive me for being so out of sorts?"
"Of course! I should have been more mindful of that," I said, holding him close. "But, your purpose was always here with me." I swallowed hard. "It always will be, Robert. I love you and I will love you forever."
Even though it was only morning, my eyes began to feel heavy and I leaned back onto my pillow. By the time I was done moving, they had closed and sleep was beginning to claim me.
"Rest now," Robert whispered. "I'll be here when you wake up."
I felt his gentle kisses as the waking world faded away from me. Once I was asleep again, Robert realized how very exhausted he was and leaned close to me and let slumber take him over. We slept until afternoon that day, the first day of the rest of our lives, both dreaming of loving each other forever.
The End
