YOU GUYS I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY. WELL I HAVE BUT IT'S BEEN A WHILE LOL. I got to hear Fifth Harmony's EP and all the different versions, and omfg their voices like dios mio. And then Glee, and Dani was so cute she called Santana babe, and then she sang for like 5 seconds, and they were the best 5 FUCKING SECONDS of the cover...
AND THEN DEMENA! I know Selena didn't get to perform, but she posted a picture and I fucking cried and it is now my wallpaper for my phone, and I've been smiling like an idiot all day because of it and omfg. I had to share this with you guys sorry lol.
Selena's Pov
The drive to the airport was a lot quieter than I thought it would be. I tried making conversation, but it was like talking to a wall. I know she doesn't wanna go, but she wasn't like this before. I noticed her mood changed once she told me her bodyguard had her stuff, I'm guessing it's the text that she got.
I still haven't brought it up, and I'm not sure if it's necessary. I just hate that this is how we're spending our last couple of hours together, in silence.
"I'm sorry Sel."
"What happened?"
"Wilmer." Both of us sighed, but we ended up giggling.
"He texted me, a lot of times actually. When I unlocked my phone it automatically opened up one of his messages, I had no choice but to read it.
I feel so guilty about this, but I don't regret it. I love you more than anything, but I just wish Wilmer wasn't in the way of this, he's innocent in all of this, he doesn't deserve for me to cheat on him.
It's late and your flight leaves soon. Um I don't know if I did anything wrong because we haven't really spoken all day. I figured you'd call or something, or that you'd be back home to pick up your stuff, but since you're not I asked Max to stop by so he has everything. I love you Demi, have a good flight, stay safe, and call when you can." She read out the message and I was left speechless.
I've never really had anything against Wilmer, I didn't like him because he was with Demi. I'm jealous and I want her all to myself, but he seems like a pretty good guy, but I feel like there's more to him.
I don't really know what to say right now. I don't want this to affect her, I know that Demi likes to please people, and when she can't she starts falling apart. Yeah things have changed, but I know she could slip up.
I wait till I pull up to the parking lot to speak up. Once I park the car I turn off the radio and turn the heater up, I don't want her to be cold.
"Demi I don't want you to beat yourself up for this."
"But how can I not? I'm sorry if this sounds bitchy but Wilmer was there when you weren't, he was my rock for months when you weren't. I can't hurt him like this, I don't wanna hurt him."
"Alright."
"Selena I didn't mean anything by that."
"Whatever, I'm not mad. You're frustrated I get it, but so am I. I don't want you to beat yourself up for this Demi, none of this is your fault.
We got into something without looking at the consequences. Our relationship is always complicated, but like you said we always come back to each other in the end. Whatever happens we'll end up together Demi.
I shouldn't have suggested we do this, I know you're in a relationship with Wilmer it was wrong of me to do even ask you."
I'm not even mad, or sad, I'm kinda just trying to hang in there. I admit was she said about me not being there for her stung a bit, but I wasn't gonna show it.
"Selena this isn't your fault, I just I shouldn't have said anything to you. I'm the one in a relationship not you, I shouldn't have said I love you when I'm with Wilmer. I'm not saying I regret it, because I do love you, but I should have waited to be single, or I should have done it a long time ago."
"A long time ago? How long ago are you talking about?"
"Princess Protection Program long ago."
I sat there with my mouth open, I couldn't believe it. I know Demi's attraction towards me isn't something recent, but I didn't exactly know how long ago it started.
"Well not even that long, that's kinda when I realized it, but I know I liked you since before then."
"Story time?" I asked her, it made me feel like a child.
"Not now, well at least not all of it.
I kinda finished putting the pieces together that day we fell asleep on the beach. Everything about that day felt like a date to me. It wasn't just because of the picnic basket or the fact that it was just on the beach, it's just the way that we acted together, it made me feel, it made me feel something I hadn't felt before.
I knew it wasn't just because you're my best friend, because I had Joe and Marissa as well, and they didn't make me feel the way that you do. Even though I liked Joe, he has absoultely nothing on you.
Everything about that day was perfect to me, just like you."
"Why did you wait so long?"
"Why are you asking me that? I could ask you the exact same thing."
"I was scared. I don't even know anymore Demi. I knew I loved you, and I knew we couldn't be together. I knew that I couldn't tell anyone about it because it was wrong for me to love a girl.
I ended up distancing myself from you because I thought it would be better, but once we started talking again I realized that I actually loved you, and I accepted it.
But there were times were I would deny it, even last year I would still deny how I feel for you. I just thought that you'd never see me how I saw you.
I was gonna tell you, you don't know how bad I wanted to tell you, and when I decided to Chloe came in and fucked everything up. After that I just stopped trying and thought it would be best to move on, but I couldn't.
That's the reason I left you, because I loved you too much and I was scared." I had barely finished talking and her lips were already on mine.
"Baby there's nothing to be scared of anymore. I'm here for you Sel, and I'm yours."
I felt myself tearing up at her words, I had to blink the tears away because my vision was blurry. I looked at the radio and read the time 9:56, she leaves in four minutes.
"But I'm not yours."
"Don't say that. You're mine, you've always been mine, and you'll always been mine. I'm sorry I was so stupid and immature about everything, but we're gonna be together when I come back. Please don't cry beautiful." I close my eyes and take in a deep breath, I have to stay strong for her.
"But I don't want you to go. I need you with me." I sobbed into her chest, I couldn't take it anymore.
My cries filled the car as my tears soaked through her shirt. I'm a total mess right now. I don't want her to leave, I want her to stay, I can't have her leave when we finally know where we stand. I know she'll be gone for a couple of weeks, but I need her with me.
"Selena, I-."
"I'm s-so sorry Demi. I'm so sorry. This i-it wasn't supposed to happen. I'm s-sorry Demi, but you need to go." I lift my head off her chest and try to dry my tears, but the moment my eyes meet her I start crying even harder than I was before.
"I don't wanna go if it's gonna hurt you."
"Demi go. I want you to, you need to go. You can't disappoint your fans for me, okay? I'll be fine."
"Selena."
"You're gonna be late. Just go, please." She unbuckles her seatbelt and smiles at me.
"You're being a lot stronger than you're giving yourself credit for. I love you Selena."
"I love you too Demi." I lean over the arm rest and kiss her.
I'm still crying, but I don't pull away, I can't pull away, I don't wanna pull away I need this to last for as long as it can. I need to feel her lips move against mine because soon I won't have that anymore.
I'm taking my time to get back home. I made sure to take a different route back home because I need to clear my head.
Watching Demi leave was so painful. It's not the first time she's had to go on tour, but usually I do a much better job at controlling my emotions. But tonight l completely lost it, I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I know she'll be back in a couple of weeks, but this time it's different. Before she would just leave, and I'd cry when I got home, but now she's leaving and our feelings for each other are clear. After years we finally know where we stand, it just hurts to watch her leave so soon.
I haven't stopped crying since I left the airport, and being in her car doesn't make it any better. I'm surrounded by everything that's her.
There's a journal, some books, and empty coffee cups from Starbucks. Typical Demi, but I wish I had something of hers I could wear. Her scent is every where, but I can't live in her car.
I'll get through this though, I really have no choice. Just because Demi left doesn't mean I have to be so lost.
But how can I not be lost when the love of my life is on her way to the other side of the world? And here come the sobs again. I miss her so much it actually hurts.
I pull over because I know I won't make it home if I keep crying like this. It's already late and I know I have a busy day tomorrow, but that's the least of my worries right now.
I take a deep breath and rub my eyes. I let my forehead hit the steering wheel and ignore the throbbing pain. My phone goes off right when the engine shuts off and that makes me groan. I don't wanna talk to anyone that isn't Demi.
I grab my phone either way, It could be something important and I'd hate if I didn't answer it.
'Hey, I know both of us have been really busy lately, but I think we're due for a Skype date, dont you?'
I wasn't expecting to get a message from her anytime soon, but I'm glad that I did. I really just need some company, even if it is through the screen of my computer.
'Of course. I'll get on in like 10 minutes, I'm on my way back home.'
"I've missed you so much."
"M-me too." She responds, but it seems like she's distracted.
I don't know what else to say so I kinda just don't say anything. She staring straight me and I don't know if she's thinking about me or if something caught her attention. She sighs but doesn't say anything.
"So how are things going?"
Things are horrible, I'm a total mess right now, but I'm not gonna dump all of that on her.
"Things are going pretty great. What about you? I know Justin wanted some people to talk to you, how did that work out?" Her eyes lit up and she smiled at me, I'm glad she's happy.
"Things went perfect. He wanted to hear some demos, and once he did he told me he wanted to sign me. So I'm leaving tomorrow night. Well technically later on today, but you get my point."
"Wait leaving to where? To here?"
"No to Alaska. Of course to there." I roll my eyes at her sarcasm and she laughs at me.
"Jennel that's amazing! I'm so proud of you, you've come a pretty long way."
"All thanks to you. If you wouldn't have said anything to Justin than this wouldn't be happening."
I hate how Justin is involved. Like I've had enough of him, and it frustrates me that he's still the center of attention.
I just smile at her, but she responds with a frown.
"Is everything okay?"
"I don't know Sel you tell me? I know your smiling just because you think it's necessary, something's bugging you.
I didn't bring it up at first because I didn't want to upset you even more, but I don't wanna see you like this. I can tell you've been crying. So what's up?"
I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. It's not that I don't want to tell her, it's just that I don't feel like crying anymore, and I know if I tell her I won't stop.
Would it be right to tell her? After all Demi's her ex and I wouldn't wanna rub this in her face, honestly that's the last thing I wanna do.
I'm not sure where her feelings for Demi stand, it's been a while since we last talked, and at that point she was slowly moving on. I don't know, she asked, so might as well, right?
"Demi left today. I just c-came back from dropping her off at the airport." My voice cracked and I could feel a lump beginning to form in my throat.
When did I become so fucking sensitive? Like it's just so pathetic, I was never one to break so easily. I guess that's what love does to you.
"Are you guys like together now?" I could hear the excitement in her voice, and the expression on her face only confirmed it.
"No. At least not yet." I found myself smiling at what I had just said.
"Aww Sel you're blushing." She teased and threw her head back in laughter. There's no way I'm blushing.
"Ugh, Jennel I'm not in the mood for this shit. Don't fuck with me like that." I touched my cheeks and felt how warm they felt.
I laughed and watched as she shook her head at me. That only made me laugh more.
"Um no, I'm pretty sure that's Demi's job not mine." She winked at me and started laughing, but I just sat there confused.
It's not that I'm confused, it's just that I'm shocked. I can't believe she actually said something like that, she isn't helping because that only made me blush even more. But she helped me be less sad.
"What is it with you and Demi and the sex jokes? Like damn you guys are fucking pervs." We both laughed at my statement, but I ended up yawning and made a weird noise.
"You should get to bed."
"I already am in bed, but there's no use in me going to sleep. I know I won't be able to, Demi's not here and I don't know when I'll be able to talk to her." I sighed and watched as a smirk appeared on Jennel's face.
"You love her, don't you?"
LovezObsessed: Lol they sure are, and fuck yeah Demi needs to get rid of Wilmer.
VeehxD: Lol yes she does, but I haven't figured out when she's gonna break up with him.
Manhattanpizza: Lol sorry about the food, I have a craving for junk food like omg.
Demenaforever13: Haha, he'll be gone... maybe
Suefanficlover: Lol, Demi won't avoid dumping Wilmer, but there will be drama.
Smg4ddl: I almost cried of frustration, like I was looking forward to it all day yesterday, but hey we got a picture(:
Guest: Lol, please don't die on me xD
Thanks for the review you guys(:
