1608 Days Until Last Communication
Heero stared at himself in the floor to ceiling gym mirror, appraising every inch of his body, from his soft face with sweeping bangs to his broad shoulders and steadily hardening chest, to his trim waist with abdominal definition hidden beneath a baggy shirt, a perfect picture of objective attractiveness. But then his eyes continued downward to one muscular calf and one steel rod, a pathetic prosthetic intentionally outdated due to his own stubborn tenacity. It normally didn't bother him – the accident, the peg leg – but now...
Duo never said anything about it, never treated him as less than equal, never acted as if he wouldn't be capable of any workout. But then, he was probably just assigned to Duo as Duo was likely the most politically correct trainer the gym had. Despite being surrounded by attractive people daily, Duo's eyes never wandered, Duo was just the right amount of friendly with everyone, and surely, Duo could have anyone he wanted and would never and had never looked twice at him.
This stupid attraction was getting out of hand. He'd just wanted to stay in shape, rebuild his muscle mass, and Duo was helping him do that. He didn't come here looking for a relationship and besides, he didn't really know what kind of relationship he could even offer someone – working for the NSA, traveling around the world, putting himself in dangerous situations. Life threatening situations. Or at least, limb threatening situations.
He was tempted to grimace at his own cynical joke but instead he decided he'd spent enough time on vanity and wandered out to meet Duo for their routine workout. And Duo was waiting as usual by the bench press, offering a friendly wave and a kind smile, just as he always did. Heero wished it didn't make him feel anything. He didn't understand why Duo had a power over him that no one else did. It wasn't fair. He just wanted to go on not caring about anyone the way he always had. Especially when it was clear no one was going to care about him. Not like this.
"Hey man! How are you?"
"Fine," Heero muttered as he sat down on the bench. No matter how cold he managed to be, Duo was completely unfazed, and his smile never faltered.
"You're going out of town next week, right?"
To some degree it bothered him that his personal gym trainer knew his schedule so well but then at the same time it tweaked a little part of his heart that someone knew it. Made him feel like someone cared about him. It was a weird feeling, something he'd never felt before as no one ever really had, and yet... He blamed that feeling entirely for the predicament he was in.
"Yes," he confirmed and Duo smiled as he started stacking weights on the bar.
"Cool. Me too. Got one of my survival training seminars next week so I was gonna warn ya but then I remembered you'd be gone anyway, so..." he shrugged and stepped behind the bar to spot him. "One set of ten then I'll up it, huh?"
Heero nodded and gripped the bar with his hands, feeling the weight. Duo was good about starting him easy then building him to his max. He really was a great trainer. Heero felt lucky to have him.
"You should come sometime," Duo winked when he'd finished his set and he exchanged some weights. Heero blinked, confused for a minute about what he was talking about. His wayward hormones helpfully supplied that he'd 'come' any time but quickly he perished the thought, sure that Duo didn't have the same perverse sense of humor he did.
"I mean, to one of my seminars," he clarified and Heero was vaguely disappointed, not liking the idea that Duo might be trying to sell him something. It didn't mesh with his idea of who Duo was, how sincere and friendly he was. But that was silly, he acknowledged, since he didn't really know Duo at all.
"I don't think so."
Duo clipped the weights into place.
"You'd be great at it," he offered, leaning on the bar, and Heero felt his irritation rise. Duo didn't act like this. He was always professional. Now he was acting ridiculous and Heero just wanted to finish this workout with the efficiency he was used to and leave.
"I doubt it."
Duo stood up off the bar. "Six reps," he announced and spotted him for six, being helpfully quiet as Heero focused on the weight. But once he was done with that set, Duo was back to talking.
"I don't think there's anything you'd be bad at."
Heero bit back any number of retorts, as he didn't really want to let Duo know just what an asshole he really was and lose him as a trainer. But then, if he was going to act so unprofessional as to try and sell him on products not even offered by the gym during his session maybe he had misjudged him completely and in that case maybe he wasn't the right trainer for him.
"I don't have an interest in survival training."
Duo seemed almost wounded as he fixed the weights. "Oh."
He was blessedly silent for the next few routines but then Heero started to worry that he'd permanently offended the normally easygoing man. While he wracked his brain trying to think of anything he could say to correct the situation, Duo had already decided and he trapped him in the squat rack, leaning casually against the open the frame.
"Do you really not have an interest in survival training – or do you just not have an interest in me?"
Heero blinked and stared dumbfounded at the other man. What was he trying to suggest? Did he know that Heero was attracted to him? Was this some kind of fucked up test?
"Well?"
There was no way Duo could be attracted to him... right?
"Don't mock me," Heero finally spat out, angry that a person he respected so much would mess with him like this.
"What?" Duo's mouth hung open, incredulous. "Me? Mock you?"
Heero grunted and folded his arms over his chest, wanting to step back and away from the confrontation but unable to go anywhere pinned into the squat rack.
"Yeah," he snapped back tersely. "I can't help it if I'm attracted to you."
Frankly, it was cruel to use his attraction against him this way, to tease him like this. He was a gay man in a wrecked body – he didn't get asked out on dates, didn't get hit on. Women, sure, they tried for a pity fuck every now and then but shit if Duo thought he'd fall for that routine... It made his skin crawl and he wanted to leave, change gyms, find a different trainer, anything to avoid dealing with that bullshit.
Duo laughed shortly, eyes wide with amusement and disbelief. "You think I'm...?"
Heero just glared back, unwilling to bring himself to say the words that Duo clearly refused to say too. He was just fucking with him – Duo wasn't attracted to him. This was shit and he should just leave. Maybe he'd call when he got home and cancel his membership.
Duo sighed, seeming disappointed as he pushed himself off the squat rack. "You struck me as the kinda guy who had a bit more self-confidence."
Heero tried not to gape while his eyes followed Duo to the weights as he loaded them onto the bar. How could he turn this around on him? Duo was the one fucking with him – right? Duo was fit and smart and funny and kind. Unbelievably handsome. What would Duo even want with someone like him?
It wasn't like this was void of insecurity was a recent development in his life. His leg didn't help, obviously, but then neither did his limited experience in human relationships either. Orphaned as a boy, raised by various foster parents who could never deal with his cold and trying personality for long, was it really difficult to understand why his interpersonal skills were lacking? Why he never had a long-term relationship?
"Duo, I..."
What could he say to apologize? When Duo's eyes met his, peering up at him over the weights, he felt weak and he didn't want to embarrass himself any more than he already had but... What could he say to explain himself that wasn't absolutely pathetic?
"Well?" Duo asked again, straightening, fists on his hips. "Let's hear the whole 'woe is me, I have so much baggage' routine, hmm? Thought a guy like you would spare me that spiel."
"A guy like me?" Heero growled back, pissed, knowing that could only mean one thing. "A cripple? Someone used to triumphing over adversity or some bullshit? Fuck you."
Duo's brows furrowed and his eyes hardened in a way Heero'd never seen before. He didn't care. Duo deserved it. He was just so fucking sick of being treated this way, like he was special, like he was different than everyone else. It was bad enough in grade school when his test scores separated him from his peers, bad enough in his career where he outshone everyone with his technical prowess – at least he could still blend in with a crowd if he chose – but now he stood out constantly, everyone having some damned idea of who or what he was because of one steel rod.
"No," Duo spat in clear disgust, obviously offended by the implication. "A guy who knows what he wants, who clearly has his shit together, who's all no-nonsense all the time. That kind of guy."
Duo stormed back to the weights, throwing them on the other end of the bar without sparing another glance for him. Heero didn't know what to say to that. He was still wary, still unsure, but then... Duo had always seemed so straightforward to him. It was difficult to imagine someone who pitied him going so far as to say all that with the kind of sincerity Duo offered.
"Ten sets."
Heero didn't move. Duo glared at him and repeated the command, but Heero still didn't move.
"Look, forget I said anything, all right?" Duo blew out a sigh, ruffling his bangs. "It was stupid, it was nothing. Unprofessional. Whatever. Just – forget it."
Heero stared at the ground in abject devastation. He'd had a chance with Duo and completely blew it. Without even realizing he was doing it. All in the name of self-preservation. Leave it to him to fuck over a perfect opportunity because he didn't believe anyone would ever be interested in him again. Fuck.
The rest of the routine was uncomfortably silent except for Duo's quick commands. But Heero didn't really mind, it gave him time to formulate his plan to correct his mistake. Because he was confident. He knew what he wanted. And he wanted Duo – or at least one date.
He showered and changed quickly, made reservations for that night from the locker room, and walked back out towards the trainer's desks with as much self-confidence as he could muster. Duo was talking to a woman trainer when he walked up who gave him a funny look but then he didn't so much as spare her a second glance, though Duo leaned back on the table, looking defeated.
"I can assign you a different trainer," he offered.
"I can pick you up at eight."
Duo's eyes narrowed, clearly confused. "Huh?"
"That new tapas place downtown, Mi Corazón, on the terrace of the Price building?"
Heero was positive about his ploy when he saw the interest flicker in his eyes, knowing Duo loved things that were new and exciting – and everyone was talking about the place.
"But you have to –" Duo deflected but Heero stopped him quickly, assertively.
"I have reservations."
"How the hell did you pull that off?" Duo asked, eyebrows raised in skepticism.
"Does it matter?" Heero replied impatiently, waiting for his answer. He didn't want to have to do anything drastic like kiss him here, in front of all his coworkers – or divulge the fact that he knew the owner's wife – but if that's what it took to prove he was confident beyond his handicap and his abysmal love life then he would do what he had to do.
"Can I meet you there instead?" Duo asked after a moment, cautious but also, Heero hoped, a little optimistic.
His gut reaction was to stipulate Duo not stand him up but then he figured that looked rather lame after his blunt proposal so he squashed that worry and agreed.
"Eight-fifteen." He pinned him with a serious look. "I'm never late."
Duo smirked. "Neither am I."
