PSN: *raises hands* Yeah I know. Wars have finished. We started using flying cars, there is gonna be a roboploptic or a zombie apocalypse soon and unicorns have come to existence and perhaps most of you are married and bear children. But before you give me the "Slowest Author" Award, can I first nominate my muse, Ninja who controls this story? Or would an apology suffice?

D: Really, I did have an excuse. I was having a mid-teen crisis and getting over bereavement—which is pretty hard for somebody you REALLY loved.


Disclaimer: Hey guess what? Just got a call and I have been told that I'm the creator of KHR in a parallel world. It's called Katekyo Sexy Reborn and all the girls are kickass and none of the guys wear shirts and it sells better! Beat that Amano, beat that!


Giotto is currently unable to write an advice due to being overwhelmed by the randomness of events.


"So," Giotto drawled slowly, leaning back against his chair. He patiently tap-tapped his pen on his desk, as he waited until the suspense in the room thickened. He gave an impassive nod of his head as he paused, waiting for the perpetrators in question to allow the words to sink in, "tell me, how you were able to pass through our heavy security and infiltrate our mansion?"

"Mmhyphhf!" was the intelligent muffled reply that came from the perpetrator in question.

Giotto rolled his eyes in exasperation as the Tortellini boss trashed about in the heavily roped chair. His daughter Fiore was also tied adjacent to him, and if Giotto wasn't imagining it, she was sending death glares his way. The reason they were unable to communicate coherently was because Daemon, after hearing about the infiltration, decided to give Giotto his special stash of duct-tape for the Vongola special Torture and Tell method—Giotto, knowing that his Mist guardian had masochist tendencies, didn't bother to ask him where he had purchased the duct-tape from and to what purpose he had bought it for. After all, some matters were a little more delicate than others, especially when said matters concerned your Mist Guardian.

The aforementioned guardian was sitting smoothly in the seat next to Giotto, a placid smirk firmly placed on his face as he gazed steadily at the culprits. He held a whip in his hand, fingering the coarse rope, his face morphing into a sadistic grin as he decided to 'test' it every now and then. Each attempt made the Tortellini boss flinch and cower as the rope licked at his toes.

Giotto also had no idea why Daemon carried a whip with him and where he had gotten it from. What he did behind closed doors was none of his business, even if at times, Giotto worried about Elena who may have been the receiving ends of these tools. A thought that made Giotto blush scarlet.

G, who was patiently sitting next to Giotto, stared with a raised eyebrow. He sighed loudly, his patience running thin and feeling annoyed. He jerked his thumbs at the perpetrators, "So, do you still want to go ahead with the duct-tape method and allow me to translate, or shall I remove it, so they can communicate coherently," he pointed at the red-faced boss whose face had become contorted with anger.

"Nnnjhsjg!" came the answer of the Tortellini boss, who seemed to have been wholeheartedly agreeing with G. Fiore, continued to glare from her seat, her eyes burning through Giotto.

"Nufufu~ I would rather have felt more pleasure if we continued torturing them," Daemon smirked, appraising his victims.

Giotto ignored Daemon's remark and raised his eyebrows at G, a dubious look eminent on his face. He observed the irritated red-head closely, "You can translate?"

G chuckled self-consciously, rubbing his temple awkwardly as he coughed discreetly. "Of course I can translate. I've been deciphering the mumbling of Lampo ever since he became a teenager. He is a mystery within himself."

That was understandable, Giotto thought with an empathetic smile. Lampo did at times speak in a language that was very incoherent. He would go outside most of the time and hang out with his "friends" to return back to the mansion with words that had never been uttered by any respectable young gentlemen of his age. Words that would give any respectable man a heart-attack if they heard it. But then again, Giotto mused with fondness, Lampo's friends weren't going to win the Gentleman Award anytime soon if their behaviour was anything to get by. The crude remarks about women especially had Giotto blushing and spluttering whenever he was unfortunate enough to be within hearing distance. What kids his age were up to at this period was alarming to say the least—and this was coming from a nineteen year old.

"Do it," Giotto ordered, running a hand through his golden locks, happy to finally assert his power as a boss. "I'm fed up of hearing his muffled swearing. I want to ask him more questions anyway."

"Then what was the point of you duct-taping them in the first place?"

Giotto felt a little stumped at the question. He had only taken it for the benefit of Daemon who had insisted that it was the best torture method. Now though, it didn't seem like an attractive idea anymore. Originally Giotto found the proposal to be excellent; after all, what mafia boss didn't like the idea of duct-taping mafia criminals?

Daemon chuckled at the exchange, his hands still gripping the whip precariously, "Duct-taping is a method I tend to use whenever a situation that is similar to this arises. There is nothing wrong with my intentions," Daemon regarded Giotto with an amused face, winking at him from behind G.

Giotto shuddered, rubbing his arms as goose-pimples covered his skin. Whether Daemon admitted it or not, his mist Guardian did not have any pure intentions with the duct-tape. He just had to investigate that for another case, after he dealt with the boss and his daughter.

"Sure," G sneered at Daemon, "your intentions are so pure because you just happened to have a duct-tape and whip in handy."

Daemon's cool demeanour was unruffled as he considered G nonchalantly, "And your point?"

"My point is that your intention are not pure."

"If you have anything interesting to say about my methods, then why don't you share it with us, G?"

Giotto watched the argument between his two guardians, his hands dangerously gripping his desk. He waited and realized that if he didn't intervene, the vacillating argument would escalate and nothing would be done by the end of this. Goddamit, Giotto thought, today was not the best of days for him. His patience was running low and a puerile argument was not going to cement the case any further.

"I told you that I find you—" G began, but was intercepted by an angry Giotto.

"STOP! The two of you. Don't bicker like an old divorced couple"

Both Guardians turned to face him, their faces grave. When the noise level in the room subsides, Giotto allowed himself to smile, appreciating the fact that the semi cat-fight had ended.

"Great. Now G, please peel off the duct-tape and Daemon, right now please do understand that nobody cares about the duct-tape and whip," Giotto stressed, heaving a huge sigh. He hadn't wanted to lose his temper and shout, but the scenes of the Tortellini boss entering his garden and Fiore accusing him plus the cat-fight between G and Daemon had ignited his fury.

G nodded in understanding and tip-toed towards the grumpy boss who was currently trashing viciously in his chair like a wild boar. His eyes were blazing with unadulterated fury. Giotto would have been wary had he not looked comical in his high-chair. He looked like a big baby playing mafia. He was that small and short. Giotto had to get a special high-chair to interrogate him, because he wanted to be at eye-level with him before he cross-examined him.

Fiore was the only one who was sitting calmly, her eyes locked on Giotto. She was gazing steadily at him, no doubt planning ways to kill him, if the throbbing tick on her forehead was anything to go by. Her hands were dangerously lying on her lap and Giotto knew without question that those very delicate hands would strangle him the moment they had the chance. There was just something about Fiore that made Giotto's spine chill. She seemed more ruthless compared to her father, and there was something else too. Giotto wasn't too sure what it was, but it was not something he enjoyed.

Giotto exhaled loudly with irritation; staring out of his window as he waited for his right-hand man to remove the heavy duct-tape that was hindering the interrogation process. One thing he disliked about his role as a mafia boss was the fact that he almost always had to be on the receiving end of these tedious ordeals of handling cranky mafia bosses who always thought they knew better because they were older.

"Done," G said with triumph, sitting back down in his seat, right next to Giotto. "You can handle 'em from here boss."

Daemon stared with unmasked sorrow as the used duct-tape fell to the ground.

Giotto relaxed in his chair as he stared at the oddly silent perpetrators. The boss was staring at him, his mouth pursed tightly. It was as though he was purposefully keeping quiet. Fiore, who was sitting next to her father, was gazing uninterestingly at her nails. For somebody who can't keep their mouth shut, Fiore was really putting an effort in keeping her silence. Her eyes swivelling once in a while to gaze coldly at Giotto who had to flinch every time her brown eyes bore calculatingly in to his own blue orbs. It felt as though her father and she were planning something, and Giotto felt wary.

"So," Giotto began again, resuming the interrogation, "how were you able to—"

"Shut up!" Fiore barked, rolling her eyes, "why don't you just get over this and punish us. Daddy and I don't mind."

Her father looked at her, an agonized expression on his face, "Baby, don't do this to us. You know very well what this man is capable of."

Fiore held back a snort, "Yeah? I know what you're capable of too daddy. I saw you get rid of my first ever boyfriend. We can deal with this bastard too," she bared her teeth, glaring at Giotto.

G shook his head, "Well, this escalated quickly."

Giotto watched with disbelief, as daughter and father argued.

"Darling, I don't know how to tell you this, but your boyfriend is still alive and well," her father answered sheepishly, squirming in his chair—which is hard, considering that he was tied heavily.

"WHAT?" Fiore screeched, her eyes widening with astonishment. "But you said you got rid of him. Don't tell me that you lied."

G, Giotto and even Daemon watched the midget boss squirm even further in his seat, his eyes searching the ceiling.

"I, well you see honey, I….I did kind of get rid of him. Your ex-boyfriend is living in a mountain in Japan. I threatened that if he stepped in Italy, he will be dealt with."

Fiore's mouth gaped open like a dead fish. Her hands trembled as she stared at her father, searching for any sign that he was joking with her. Giotto cringed as tears streamed down her face, a slow sob escaping her lips. He was reminded of that night he took her to the restaurant and she had played victim. But, Giotto thought, this was different. Fiore felt betrayed by her father and that was a little hard for her to take in.

"You bastard!" She shrieked, prompting G to cover his ears and shudder. "How dare you lie to me? He is dead. Dead. Dead! You killed him father, I don't care what you say!" She continued to sob, her shoulders heaving.

"This is why I chose Elena," Daemon said with a sneer, "women are less trouble when you have them in control."

G groaned disgustedly, "Please Daemon, we're trying to get to the bottom of the case."

Daemon shrugged, "Nufufu, if boss wants me to whip her in to order, then give me the command," he said running his hands through the whip lovingly.

Giotto gave a small smile, his eyes still trained on Fiore who was exploding, "I think I can handle this."

"Please boo-boo, don't do this to me," now Fiore's dad was tearing.

Giotto felt like he had just stepped in to a soap opera, one that he was currently part of.

"Fiore!" Giotto shouted, catching her attention, albeit for a small second before she continued to bawl again.

"I hate men! They are all liars and nobody likes me! Why do I always get the jerks! Why can't I have love, am I so undesirable?"

Giotto watched with helpless dismay, his mind wandering to this afternoon when he had everything under control. When he had sent his Guardians Knuckle and Lampo—reluctantly—to the Tortellini mansion, because he was a little worried about Asari and Alaude (Though he shouldn't have, considering that they were perfectly capable of handling themselves). He remembered ordering Daemon and G to take the culprits to his office where they would be interrogated respectively.

XxX-XxX

Before the horrific events that unfolded:

Giotto stood still, his knuckles tightly clenched in a fist as he looked at the Tortellini boss who was still a little far away. His gaze was levelled with the boss—though it was a little straining since Fiore's father was a little more than a midget. He hoped his glare could convey his emotions and make the Tortellini boss back off because Giotto was absolutely fed up with having to tread carefully on what G had described as, 'egg-shells.' Why did he have to hide away whilst Fiore and her father were allowed to wander nonchalantly—not so casually if you include the bombs— into his garden and command compensation for Fiore's date? Giotto was now prepped up for a war with the Tortellini family. He did not care if G expressed displeasure.

Vongola was not going to go down because of a derisory family.

No.

Giotto was ready for business. Who messes with the Vongola and gets away with it?

Nobody.

"So, boss, what're you going to do?" G asked casually, his arms folded as he waited for Giotto to take action. He appraised his boss admiringly.

Lampo gave an involuntary shiver, rubbing the goose-bumps from his arms, he clung to Giotto's sleeve and begged, "Yes, boss. Do something, please!"

"Peace first," Knuckle said, though his eyes were hardened and his knuckles clenched.

"Nufufu, I think that all they need is just a bit of torturing," Daemon added, standing in the side-line, his trademark smirk plastered on his face.

He had just arrived out of nowhere, but Giotto was happy for his Guardians support. He could feel his anger from earlier subsiding and he was able to think more clearly.

"I think we should talk to them first," Giotto declared, "and if they do not co-operate, we will hand it the rough way."

G nodded approvingly, flexing his muscles, "Been a while since I went into a good fight."

"Nufufu, I can cast an illusion and make them scream for mercy," Daemon said, licking his lips in anticipation, "I want to begin with the pretty girl. Seems like she needs a little reality checking from Uncle Daemon."

All 4 guardians stared at him with gaping mouths.

"Uncle what?" they cried in unison.

Daemon smiled, not at all affronted by their incredulity, "A nickname Elena gave," he explained in an off-handed manner.

Giotto decided to let the matter slide. The matter at hand was more serious as opposed to what Elena called Daemon when they were alone. His thoughts were interrupted by Lampo who tugged at his sleeves, a panicked look on his face.

"What?" Giotto enquired.

"Look boss."

Giotto did look and at first saw nothing, but when he looked again, he saw Fiore's dad running towards them—though barrelling would have been the right term, considering that the speed of the aforementioned man was unbelievable for a man of his status.

"Damn," G murmured, running a hand through his hair distractedly. "He really means business, boss. I think we can deal with him for you, you approach Fiore."

"Fiore huh?" Daemon said, "that is her name? Leave her to me. Women are my speciality."

"No way, she is dangerous!" Lampo shouted, pointing at his swelling cheek, the one Fiore had slapped earlier.

"Nufufu, I can handle violent ones too. The more violent, the better for me to handle," Daemon smirked

"Fear the God and deal with her appropriately," Knuckles warned Daemon, casting a glance in his direction.

"The word appropriate is not in his dictionary," G provided.

"And you should know, hmm, G?"

Giotto put a finger to his lips, "Shh. Listen guys. Any second now the boss will be on our tail, so do this okay. Just follow my orders."

They all nodded as Giotto conveyed his idea, his eyes warily glancing at the advancing boss, his daughter walking purposefully a little behind him, her eyes on him.

"Okay?" Giotto asked, looking at each and one of his guardians.

They all nodded, including Lampo.

"Good, now get back to work," he ordered, "nobody messes with the Vongola, got that?"

XxX-XxX

And that was how Giotto ended up back in his office with Daemon and G as his intermediators—because at this stage, Giotto was a little more than pissed at the culprits. This was also why he loved his job as a mafia boss so much, because what great mafia boss wouldn't want the chance to deal with perpetrators who are emotionally unstable and hard to handle? Giotto was sure that his diary would be filled today, and he sure hoped that whoever would read it in the future would heed it well. Because Giotto was not going to suffer vainly, that would never happen. He would haunt the future mafia bosses until he made sure that they followed his advices.

Right now Fiore was still at it, screaming obscenities at her own father and every men in the room. Using words that were not appropriate for a lady of her status; or any lady at all. Giotto remembered Lampo and couldn't help but think that they were birds of a feather. Fiore was the female version of Lampo: Spoiled, rich, bratty and always wanted her way.

"Boss, I think this went longer than we expected," G intervened, wincing as Fiore went into Berserk mode.

"Nufufu, my offer still stands," Daemon reminded, experimenting with his whip and cradling it delicately, as though it was his child.

"Wait, I know how to handle this," Giotto said, raising a warning finger at Daemon who was still cradling his whip.

"Please don't punish us!" The once fearsome boss of the Tortellini family cried, "please I'll come clean and I'll return every money my family and I stole from you. I'll even return Fiore's fiancé if you want prove. Please Giotto, don't deal with us."

Giotto raised an eyebrow, "You stole money from me?"

"Please, I'll return them! We just wanted money for our family!"

"Daddy!" Fiore cried, clearing away her tears—Nobody would have ever suspected her of breaking down. "Please don't. Don't tell them."

Her father looked at her pleadingly, "Please honey, our life depends on it. We can throw away our dignity to save ourselves."

"Damn, I think I just stepped into one of Elena's soap operas," G whistled, a grin on his face. "This interrogation is getting interesting."

"I might agree with you," Giotto said, "money was stolen from us? Since when? That's a lie."

The Tortellini boss shook his head, "Please will you listen to us, Vongola boss? Please spare a moment for us."

"Daddy, don't you dare!" Fiore spat her eyes blazing with fury, "I swear to God Daddy—"

"We're not really a proper Mafia family like you. We're Gangsters, but we are broke," he explained, ignoring his daughter's protest, "the Tortellini is really fiction and so is our reputation. We forged everything so that we could get closer to you. I really admire you Giotto, how you become really famous in a short time and gained power. And I wanted, I really wanted my daughter to marry you because you are good for her and I wouldn't have to worry about her all the time."

"I feel like this is going to get dodgy," G commented.

"I don't really have anybody apart from my brother who helped me forge my reputation. I heard about you from him, and he insisted that if my daughter becomes the heir of Vongola, I can have enough money to pay of our debts. So we got Fiore to date you. It was that day that I stole some of your money to be honest. Not much that you would have noticed, but a little to pay of my debts," the Tortellini boss continued meekly.

"My—what?" Giotto was stumped. This was not a story he was expecting at all. He would have understood everything else, but this was, this was absurd.

"Nufufu, seems like your Storm Guardian wasn't doing his job properly," Daemon pointed out.

"Hey! I did," G blushed, blustering, "I just only went for a walk."

"The office was empty," the Tortellini boss amended, "and well, things went from bad to worse when the plan failed and you dumped my darling."

Fiore stared at her dad as though she didn't know him, "You told him. You really told him everything." She sounded shocked, as though she couldn't believe that her secret was finally out in to the open.

Giotto was in bigger shock, he stood up from his seat, "No. You lied just to get me married to your daughter? You stole? Your offences are even worse than walking into my garden without permission." He looked at G who smiled sheepishly at him, "And you G. Weren't you doing paperwork for me? Why did you allow him to steal from me?"

G was silent.

"So….?" The Tortellini boss trailed hopefully, squirming in his seat.

"I'm tempted to tell Daemon to whip you," Giotto said, "and no Daemon, sit back down. But, I don't know what to do with you anymore."

"I don't care if you punish us," Fiore said, "you are not as interesting to me as you were before. I have another man now."

"Who?" G asked.

"He has red-hair, and that is all you should know," she answered coyly.

Giotto face-palmed. This was more than trouble. Now Fiore had fallen for his best-friend.

"He must be lucky," G said with a smile.

And G was falling for it too.

There really was one thing Giotto could do now, one thing that could make everything better.

"Okay. I have a punishment for you," he noticed how the Tortellini boss flinched at the word punishment, "and that is…."

They all looked at him curiously.

"The only way that you can amend for all your mistakes, including the stolen money, is to work for me."

"Never!" This was from Fiore.

"Oh you're too kind, boss!" The Tortellini boss cried.

Sometimes Giotto thought the same thing too.


PSN: If this chapter was a little bleh-bleh (Including grammatical errors) and not as humorous as you expected, I do apologize O: I'm sleep deprived and my brain is a little tired—okay scratch that, I am MORE than tired. Exhaustion will be more appropriate Lol . OTL

Still whatcha y'all think 'bout this? I think I just trolled you all with the Tortellini family. I know I trolled myself ;) I guess the whole: Tortellini arc is over XD

P.S: I don't mind if you love/hate Fiore. I have no attachment to her ;)

Next chapter look forward to more Daemon, as Giotto and the other's spy on him: Next advice: "Be careful around your Mist Guardians."