A/N: Thank yous are going out to Anarra, htbuzz, alwayscastle2, hfce, jellybean96 and the anonymous reviewer! Thanks also if you have either followed or added this story to your favourites.


"Kate, what are doing? You better not be texting Castle."

Kate span around to face Lanie, careful to keep her arms in a naturally loose position as she held her phone behind her back, trying to tap the screen so she could send her half-finished text. "Of course not," she replied. "I was just looking at the painting. It's kind of relaxing, don't you think?" She gestured vaguely towards the painting behind her, forcing her face into a neutral expression as Lanie's eyes flickered towards it before coming back to rest upon her.

"You ain't foolin' nobody, girl. Hand me that phone." She waited with her hand out until Beckett sighed and relinquished it into her possession. "I thought we agreed on a no boyfriends or fiancés rule."

Kate resisted the urge to correct her best friend, because it had been Lanie who had insisted that they were having a long girl's weekend and that contact with their guys was forbidden. Instead, she just said, "Where's everyone else?" They had all come back to their cottage, though the term was pretty ridiculous for their accommodation since everyone had their own room. With the communal areas: the kitchen, living room and the dining room, all of which were sizable, the building had a floorplan that was far bigger than any normal cottage and was on two floors.

"Martha went for a hot stones massage, Alexis said she was gonna do some lengths in the pool and Madison said to tell you she was getting a full body massage with Antonio, the hunkiest masseuse this place has to offer. You, girl, are booked in for the same treatment in about ten minutes, so get your butt into gear."


Rick shuffled in the seat of his car, raising his butt off the leather so he could pull his phone out of his back pocket and stop it vibrating against his ass. Unfortunately Beckett's text had to wait until he was parked in his building's garage.

Hefting his grocery bags into his arms, Castle stepped out of the car, pushing the door closed behind him with his foot before pressing the lock button on his keys and walking off to the elevator. The bags were heavy in his arms as he used his hands to open Kate's message on the way up to his floor. His eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to make sense of the random jumble of letters at the end of the text.

Lanie kidnapped me from work. You didn't know about that, did you? We're at Mirabeau Inn and Spa, so need to worry about strippers, though knowing Lanie I wouldn't rule it out completely. Part of her planned weekend is probably to have us thrown out by the end of it. Gotta keep this message short because she's instigated a no talking to boyfriends rule. Hope you're not too lonely by yourself. I love you. Opi io lpo.

Before the bags became too heavy to balance inside the hold of his arms, he fired off a quick text, peering over the handles of his carrier bags to see the screen as he typed, Sounds fun. What was that last part? Love you too.

When he entered the loft, it felt so unbearably quiet and empty without his mother, daughter or fiancée. He only paused to deposit the groceries on the counter and shove the one with all the refrigerated foodstuffs into the fridge before walking back out the front door and down to the lobby, hailing a cab on the street to take him down to the precinct where he would be able to find company in the form of detectives Esposito and Ryan.

Unfortunately for him, he ended up with the most talkative cab driver in all of New York City and from the moment he sat down in the backseat until his exit outside the 12th Precinct, the greying man was babbling away at him, his voice the perfect replacement for his absent radio.

"Hey, Castle," Officer Velasquez nodded to him as they passed as he hopped up the steps outside and into the building, the familiar woman heading to a cruiser with her partner for the day and speeding away, sirens blaring as they left for a crime scene.

"Velasquez," he said, greeting her with a wave before calling after her, "Esposito and Ryan here?"

"Sorry, I've got no idea, I'm not working with the guys up in Homicide today. We're stuck being dogs' bodies for a couple of Vice detectives today."

Leaving Officers Velasquez and Johnson on the street, both of them so similar in appearance and so often partnered together that they were sometimes mistaken for each other, Castle continued into the precinct, flashing a smile and shaking his head at the officer on the front desk as he passed and stepped into the open elevator, squeezing in between two foreboding-looking lawyers in suits. He smirked at the thought that he could tell from just one look their profession. It had been a skill he'd developed over years of banal observations of people wherever he went, stemming from his habit of making up a backstory for every person he saw whenever he was bored. The leather briefcases both of them carried were dead giveaways.

Once the two lawyers stepped out of the elevator on the first floor, he was left on his own, staring at the ceiling light as it flickered and humming to himself to stop his imagination running wild with the idea that he would once again be caught in a broken elevator, fearing for his life.

When the doors opened on the floor the Homicide division occupied, Castle had to duck behind a desk barely seconds after exiting as Gates stormed past. He had no idea whether he was allowed in the precinct – having received no word from Esposito, Ryan or the Captain herself on whether he and Kate were trusted enough to not begin investigating Rachel's murder again. As soon as she was gone from sight, Castle straightened up, adjusting his suit until it looked as if nothing had happened, only to look up and find Esposito and Ryan standing in front of him, smirking.

"What were you doing down there, Castle?"

"Just tying my shoelace," he lied, smiling along with them.

"Uh huh," Ryan nodded, giving him that look where his eyes narrowed and his lips parted slightly as he obviously doubted what his excuse. Esposito looked just as unconvinced, shaking his head with a wide smile. "So what are you doing here?"

"Come to tell us all about your bachelor party or something?"

"Yeah right," Castle snorted. "You guys will probably be the only guys on the invite list."

"You not gonna invite your writer buddies?" Esposito asked, complete surprise suffusing his voice.

Castle shrugged. "Guess it depends on who my best men decide to invite." He kept his voice nonchalant, but his eyes were trained on both of them watching the shock play over their faces.

"Best men?"

"Yeah, why would you guys rather compete for a singular position?"

Espo and Ryan turned to one another, seeming to size each other up, before returning their attention to Castle after apparently deciding that it either didn't matter who would win, or that they would be too evenly matched. Castle was inclined to believe the former, that neither Esposito nor Ryan were interested in fighting it out and were simply honoured he wanted both of them to be his Best Men. Of course, the image of them physically fighting it out appealed to him too.

"Just to be clear-" Ryan began before Rick cut him off.

"-I want you both to be my best men. So, is that a yes?"

"Bro, what do you think?" Esposito asked, grinning as he clapped Castle on the back, probably harder than was strictly necessary.

"Ryan?"

"Sure, just be prepared for us to get you back after Atlantic City."

"Atlantic City?" Castle asked, wondering what had apparently been so terrible about the impromptu bachelor he had convinced Esposito to help him throw for Ryan before he married Jenny. Okay, so they'd been stuck working a case, but they'd had fun, right? They'd gambled, seen a burlesque show, probably partied far too hard, but had experienced the city the way every guy who'd ever gone to Vegas did – by getting thrown out of the casino.

"Yeah, you know, forcing us to dress up as Elvis," Ryan said, his tone completely conversational, calm and serious.

"Come on, guys, it wasn't that bad. It was for the case!"

Neither Esposito nor Ryan was swayed by his desperate tone as he made his defensive. When he said it was for the case, Esposito quirked an eyebrow but was otherwise unaffected.

"You sure you weren't just doing it for a laugh?"

"Espo, I swear, it was for the case! I'll admit I enjoyed it, like any guy should, but I didn't plan it or anything. It just happened!"

There was a moment of dangerous tranquillity as Esposito stared Castle down with a gruff expression; arms crossed in front of his chest only making him appear sterner. Beside him, Ryan imitated his partner, though he didn't manage to quite pull of the same level of threat with his posture. Before five seconds had passed, both of the detectives began to laugh at the look of fear and panic on Castle's face as he thought that both of them were actually still annoyed about the events in Atlantic City from two years ago.

"Real funny, guys."

Castle's tone only made Ryan and Esposito laugh harder. As he wiped a fake tear from his eye, Esposito said, "Okay, Castle, leave it with us. We'll throw you a proper bachelor party."

"Great. You guys wanna meet up for drinks at the Old Haunt tonight?"

Ryan shrugged. "As long as Jenny doesn't mind. I'll call her later and check, but sure. Why, are you bored already, Castle?"

"Do I need an excuse to catch up with you guys? I feel like I haven't seen you in ages. Don't tell me you don't miss me? It must be so dull being at the precinct everyday without one of my amazing theories to solve your crimes and get you off work early."

"I don't know, it's been nice and peaceful, wouldn't you say, Ryan?"

"Yeah, even Iron Gates has been more easy-going."

"I think this is the happiest I've ever seen her," Espo added. "She wasn't even this cheerful when you gave her that freakin' ugly doll."

Castle grimaced at the memory of accidentally smashing the captain's collectable and the resultant wrath that had been hounding him ever since. "Yeah, that was not a good day." As Gates reappeared and walked the warpath to her office, he hurried back to the elevator with a call of, "Talk to you later!" over his shoulder.


Castle's afternoon began with staring at a blank word document as he waited for inspiration to strike, but he found himself just missing his muse instead so he gave up on the idea of kick-starting Nikki and Rook's next adventure (Kate having vetoed his idea of having their doubles make a foray over to England) and left his laptop open at his desk. He checked his phone a couple of times to see whether Kate had texted again, even sent her a few witty ones himself, but deduced that Lanie must have confiscated her phone because there was no forthcoming reply. Then, only Guitar Hero and Call of Duty could hold his attention.


Castle ducked inside the bar he owned, nodding to his staff inside and smiling as Eddie immediately began a rendition of what had become Castle's personal theme tune as soon as he caught sight of him. He spotted Esposito already standing at the bar, holding a twenty dollar bill out to the bartender before he grabbed the three pints he'd bought and walked over to their group's usual booth. Castle followed and slid into the seat beside Ryan.

"So, how's the bachelor party coming along?"

"Great, we've got Vegas booked already," Ryan replied, taking hold of his pint and having a long draught.

"Vegas? Seriously?" Castle exclaimed, excitement pulsing through him.

Esposito just gave him a flat look. "No, not seriously, Castle. This isn't The Hangover."

Trying not to look disappointed, Castle said, "Well, whatever you guys decide will be fun. What do you reckon the girls are up to right now?"

"Jenny's friends took her on a shopping extravaganza and for dinner," Ryan offered rather than make a guess as to what Lanie had planned whilst Esposito just shrugged.

"Lanie didn't tell you what she had planned?" Castle asked, looking at Espo.

"We're not together anymore," he said by way of answer, staring into the bottom of his drink as Ryan and Castle shared a significant look.

An awkward silence fell as Ryan and Castle searched for something to say to their friend. Eventually Castle returned to the topic of his bachelor party and asked, "So have you got any ideas at all yet?"

"Castle, you only asked us this morning. Unlike some people, Ryan and I have been at work all day," Esposito half-snapped.

"So that's a no?"

"If you don't drop it, I'll trick you into cross-dressing at your bachelor party."

"I could pull that off," Castle replied, imaging himself in a wig and make-up.

"In one of your mother's outfits?" Esposito challenged.

Lips contorting, he shuddered at the mental picture. "Nobody could pull that off." If he was being honest, he didn't even understand how his mother managed to look good in her oddly tailored suits, mismatched prints and odd colour combinations. Somehow it just worked. He supposed that it was her personality that blended the outfits together and caused people to view them differently. "I'd be fine in Kate's clothes, though I'm not sure we'd be allowed in anywhere-"

"-If you don't stop talking about this right now, Castle, we'll still be sat here tomorrow night and then there won't be a bachelor party because Ryan and I won't have had time to organise anything."

"Keep your…" Castle paused as he realised he could hardly say 'hair' when Esposito hardly had any. "Keep your shirt on, Espo. If not being with Lanie makes you this moody, for the sake of everybody else, just get back together with her." He ducked down as Esposito threw his beermat at his face.

Interceding before anything too terrible could start, Ryan said, "Well, we managed to do some research anyway while Gates was busy fending off news reporters calling for information on the Steve Martin robbery case. Apparently the new craze is-"

"-Skydiving," Esposito interrupted, seeming to have perked up again. "So, what d'you say, Castle? Wanna jump out of a flying plane?"

"Don't listen to him. He's just pulling your leg."


The next evening as he pulled on his purple shirt and did up the buttons, Castle found himself panicking and wondering whether Esposito had in fact managed to convince Ryan that they should take him skydiving for his Bachelor party. He'd heard no more from Kate, nor had he been able to get in contact with her. When he called, her cell phone just rang and rang, and he thought that leaving four very similar messages was obsessive enough.

Esposito and Ryan had texted him that afternoon telling him to dress smart and that they'd pick him up at eight. So there he was at seven forty five, deftly pushing the buttons on his sleeves through the holes and sliding his watch onto his left wrist, checking his pockets to make sure he had his phone and his wallet. When he had no more mundane tasks to occupy his worried mind, he sat on the arm of the couch and twiddled his thumbs, occasionally cracking a knuckle to displace the pocket of air in the joint. Kate usually slapped his arm for doing it, but she wasn't there and he didn't have to feel guilty.

Finally, Esposito and Ryan announced themselves with a knock on the door and a call of his name, obviously having been let into the building by the doorman who usually recognised them since they were such frequent visitors.

"Coming!" he shouted back, grabbing his jacket from the back of one of the dining room chairs and pushing his arms through the sleeves on his way to open the front door. "Hey guys."

Instead of greeting him back, Esposito commanded him to turn around and then tied a blindfold around his head using an old scarf.

Instantly, Castle's mind dropped to the gutter. "Is this some weird form of bondage guys?"

If Kate had been there, the roll of her eyes would have been as audible as her exasperated sigh. Instead he just had Espo telling him, "You wish."

With Ryan at his side, he was guided into the elevator and down out onto the street and then into a car. From there, he had no idea where they were going. His attempts to guess their destination by counting the number of right and left turns they took were foiled when the city's traffic jams made it impossible to tell the distance they had travelled. Finally, the cab stopped permanently and one of the guys helped him out of the cab and pushed him through a doorway. A cheer rose up at his appearance and Esposito whipped the scarf off his head, revealing the Old Haunt and a collection of his writer buddies standing beside a sign that read, 'Kiss your single life goodbye, Castle!'


A/N: Okay, Originally I was going to make this chapter longer and have it go at least most of the way through Castle's bachelor party, but one of my housemates has been pestering me for the last hour because he wants me to play Age of Empires with him, so it kind of became impossible to continue. Anyway, let me know what you think and don't forget that if there's something you think should happen at the party, let me know!