Warning: this chapter may be triggering, as there are mentions of self-harm and suicide.
Chapter 4
Patricia
I paced in my room on the train, running my fingers through my wavy hair. That was one of the few differences between my sister and me. Her hair was straight while mine was curly.
I heard a knock on my door. Before I had a chance to say no, Eddie Miller was standing in my room.
"What do you want?" I snarled.
"I just wanted to say hi. So, uhm, hi!" He waved awkwardly.
"Well, go away, Slimeball."
He chuckled. "Damn, I thought you were supposed to be the nice twin!"
"Nice twin? What do you mean, nice twin?"
He gulped, but continued. "Well, your sister-what's her name, Primrose or something?"
"Patricia," I growled.
"Yeah, that one. Anyways, she has this reputation of being mean and bitchy and talking a lot and all that, and you...well, you're supposed to be nice and sweet and quiet. Did people like confuse you or something?"
"Nope, sounds about right," I muttered.
"You're more like your sister than most people think!"
"Maybe that's because I am the sister!"
He laughed, before seeing my face. "Holy shit, you're serious! You're...you're Patricia! Piper was called, and you...you came up! Wow," he sat on my bed, "I wish one of my brothers would've done that for me. But of course, they're all assholes, so I didn't really expect them to. Your sister must be so happy right now."
"Why wouldn't she be? She's always hated me, and now she gets to see me die!" I plopped down next to him.
"That's not what I meant, not at all. Piper loves you! I've heard her with her friends, all she does is talk about you. She's probably happy because you've given her a chance at life. Besides, why'd you come here if you hate her?"
"Because she deserves more than me," I lied.
"No, it's because you don't really hate her. Hell, you don't even know what it means to hate your sibling!" His eyes were filling with tears, although I knew he didn't want me to see them. "My brothers came up to me after I was reaped, and one of them said, 'Look's like District four's got another victor this year!' I was excited; I thought they meant me, and that they wanted me to win. But then he added, 'that Williamson girl's strong. She's gonna run circles around them!' And I knew they meant you, not me." At this point, it was impossible not to feel for the guy. I placed my hand gently on his arm, but it did nothing to stop the now steady flow of tears. "My own brothers don't think I can win. And honestly, I don't either. I mean, what do I have to live for, anyways?"
"Lots of things," I whispered. "More than me."
"No," He turned to face me. "You have to try to win for me."
"I can't!"
"Patricia..."
"No!" I yelled, standing up. "You don't get it! You think you do, because your brothers don't think you can win, but you don't! All my life, my parents have favored Piper! Piper, Piper, Piper all the time! And now they all expect me to win this? Piper even got more training than I did! I'm just here because she didn't want to be! And even with the extra training she wouldn't have made it past the Cornucopia! You can win this! You can prove your brothers wrong! I can't! Even if I win, my family still won't acknowledge me!"
I noticed Eddie staring not at my face, but at my wrist. I realized, as I was yelling, my sleeve slipped down and he saw my scars, even the recent ones.
"Patricia, you..." I cut him off with a sob, covering my mouth. No, I can't cry. Patricia Williamson doesn't cry. Especially not in front of other people. And no way in hell can I cry in front of Eddie Miller. His tears were flowing faster.
"Yeah," is all I could manage.
My tears started flowing even though I tried to force them away. I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Why?"
"I just told you, didn't I? Everyone loves Piper. You said it yourself. I'm just the mean bitch and she's the nice, sweet twin."
He stood up and I felt his strong arms wrapping around me. "I didn't mean that. I'm so sorry. And for the record, I think you're awesome."
I pulled back and smiled at him. "Really?"
"Yeah! And since we're sharing deep secrets," he rolled up his sleeve to reveal matching scars. "One slash for everything mean my brothers have said. Every day for 5 years. Until..."
"Until when?"
"Until about a week ago." He said no more, and I could see the tears in his eyes threatening to spill over again. This time it was me who hugged him.
"I guess we're both screwed up," He whispered, causing us both to laugh.
"You'll stay with me, right?" I asked.
"What do you mean?"
"In the arena. Promise you won't leave me."
"Of course not. I will never leave you until the day I die. Which, of course, is any day now, but that's not the point." He smiled at me. "You're pretty cool. Considering how much you talk."
"I don't talk that much! Why do people say that?"
"Yeah, you do," he teased. "I should call you Blabs. Or Yacker! Yes, that's it!"
"Later, Doofus."
"Bye, Yacker!" He called after me as I left the room. Maybe this trip to the Capitol wouldn't be so bad, after all.
TBC! I hope you guys liked the Peddie chapter! Remember, if you review, there's a free preview with your name on it! Please review!
