Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera. I'll get over it. Also, I hate to disappoint, but I'm not really Erik. Shocking, yes, but no. I'm just your average, run-of-the-mill teenage phan girl.

Ask Erik

Ask Erik anything, from relationship questions to what he thinks you should make for dinner. All questions will be subject to publication. Submit your questions via review, PM, or email (in my profile). All (pen)names and emails are guaranteed confidential granted you provide an alternate name.

Dear Erik,

As much as I would love to ignore it, my past has come back to haunt me, and
for this reason I turn to you (all knowing one, lol). Anyway, in truth I am
looking for love, but because of my past I feel as though certain people will
not allow this, for fear it shall take away their chances at having me to
themselves. In spite of them I have asked my friends if they knew anyone for
me. Sadly they didn't. And to make things worse, I myself have had many boys
that I would have liked reject me because they were either taken by another or
gay (even when they don't look it). Should I just give up and give into my
past, seeing as two people are pushing me into it, and that I may have no
other choice?

waiting for what you'll type,
Aurina: Angel of Light

Dear Light,

Do not give up on love and most certainly do not give into your past. As long as you are not a hideously deformed psychopath such as myself, you can have another chance at love.

As for those two people, tell them, as the Americans nowadays say, to put a sock in it. Repeatedly, if necessary.

Best of luck!

-Erik

Dear Erik,

I am an aspiring singer and actress and find Sarah Brightman!Christine and
your own Michael Crawford!Erik incarnation quite inspiring (although, I will
admit, I have only ever heard the Original Cast Recording CD, and have not
seen the play live on stage with any actors). Would you say that Crawford!Erik
and Brightman!Christine are good models for a young singer? How about Gerard
Butler!Erik and Emmy Rossum!Christine?

Respectfully yours,

Qweckyl the Squirrel

Dear Oweckyl,

I would agree with you that Brightman and Crawford have delightful incarnations of Christine and myself. As for Mademoiselle Rossum, I do believe that in a few years, with a superb vocal teacher, she could be absolutely stunning. However, Monsieur Butler would do well to quit smoking.

-Erik

Dear Erik (you're so adorable),

If I may be so bold, what were you referring to in the reply to Saloma-Kiwi's
question?

Quote: "Generally I do a superb job of hiding, but there is the occasional
attack… The most recent one, however, should have taught them to stay
away… Far away."

That's quite an eyebrow-riser! Thank you for answering my previous question!

Elphie89
P.S.(Be prepared for more questions from me);)

Dear Elphie89,

I'm afraid I told the authorities I would keep it confidential. However, I can tell you that it required the use of the persuasive powers of the Punjab.

-Erik

Dearest Erik.
Let's face it, everyone knows you are a evil genius.
I was wondering what advice you could give an aspiring evil genius like
myself? (Like mastering the evil laugh of one.)
Thank you for your time. It was a pleasure.

Love,
CultureVulture.

Dear Vulture,

To perfect your evil laugh, I would suggest you listen to some of your favorites and attempt to imitate them. Then, once you have a few down, being to develop your own.

One of the biggest tricks to being an evil genius is to instill a sense of fear into others. Now, I'm not recommending you go around killing people as I did, because that would be bad, and you need to develop your own style of evil-doing to separate yourself from any comic book villain.

One more thing: if you plan on sending a video message to the masses, stroking a cat sitting in your lap is a MUST.

Best of luck, and I will anxiously be awaiting your new world order.

-Erik

Dear Erik,

I have a tendency of almost always wearing black formal mens wear were ever I
go, kids at my school think I'm seriosly cracked, I usually just tell them to
( insert loud beep here) off. What is your opinion.

Your "Sick and tired of preppy high-school brats" admirer

D. N'Shard

Dear N'Shard,

Black is amazing. So is men's formal wear. It's served me well for 150 or so years.

Next time someone mentions your fashion choice, try to ignore it. I wouldn't care what any Abercrombie and Fitch clad high schoolers think.

-Erik

Dear Erik,

You must have written quite a lot of music over the years. Which piece is
your favorite? (I'm guessing Don Juan but I may be wrong.) Also, what do you
think about more when writing a piece of music: the lyrics or the melody?
Being a writer I tend to think about words more than music but that might be
because I am not very gifted as far as music goes.

Yours truly,

TigerLily21

Dear TigerLily,

Don Juan was a spectacular piece of work, but I would have difficulty deciding on a favorite when it comes to my own music.

As for the second question, I believe neither is more important. Melody gives it beauty and lyrics give it depth. Now, that's not saying chamber pieces without lyrics have no depth- lyrics simply add to the depth.

-Erik

Dear Erik,

If you are annoyed with the fop (he must die now!) and phangirls, why not get
a restraining order? Also, would you hook up with Elphaba from Wicked if she
asked you? Peace!

-Angel of Phantoms

Dear Angel,

Now, why did I not think of this before? Thank you, my dear reader.

Elphaba seems like a lovely girl; perhaps someday someone will pair us together…

-Erik

Dearest Erik,
Greetings from upstated New York. I was wondering if you have been following
the 2007 Rugby World Cup? Also, I have an evil sister who threatens me on a
daily basis with the promise of bodily harm. Would you happen to have any
suggestions as to how I could avoid said bodily harm, dear Phantom? Also, what
are your opinions on Les Miserables and have you met Jean Valjean or Inspector
Javert? I think you would get along marveolusly with the dear Inspector. He is
quite a nice chap.
I am terribly sorry for my multipule questions my good man, but I have a
very...sporratic mind. Please enjoy your weeks upto and following Halloween
and say hello to Monsieur Kay!Erik for me.

Good day to you, Sir,

Pontmercy for President

Dear Pontmercy,

I'm afraid I have not been following the Rugby World cup.

As for your evil sister, have you tried talking to your parents? If you have, or you do and it doesn't work, may I suggest hiding yourself in your lair to avoid harm…

Les Miserables is quite spectacular. I must admit, I have never met either man. I have been hiding out in my lair far too long.

I do not mind your questions, and sporadic minds are the best kind.

Monsieur Kay!Erik says hello.

-Erik

Dear Erik:

If you had to choose one person to be paired with in a fic besides Christine,
who would you choose and why?

Love,
mrmistoffelees

Dear mrmistoffelees,

If I could be paired with anyone, I would have to pick my swishy cape. He's far too underappreciated.

-Erik

My Dearest Erik,

Will you marry me? I assure you, I am willing to obtain a divorce for the
sake of our love...the love of the most exquisite kind!

(Batting eyelashes rapidly)
Your most devoted phan,
iamphantomgirl (aka, the last house on the left, if you've forgotten...)

Dear imaphantomgirl,

It all depends. Are you:

A. A chorus girl/ballet girl whom I have or could train to become a world-renowned Prima Donna

B. Willing to, in the event that you are being pursued by a dashing young viscount, chose me over him, even if he is entirely more handsome than myself and most certainly in possession of more sanity than myself.

and C. Not at all adverse to living underground .

If you answered yes to all the above, then most I most certainly will marry you.

Dear Erik,
Why are you answering all these questions? Is it willingly, or do you just
not have a life after Christine left you for a fop? Do tell.
-Basket-

Dear Basket,

looks at authoress

I mean, of course I'm doing it on my own accord.

-Erik

Dear Erik,

I must ask - half mask, full mask, chin-length mask, or William Finley mask?

And, eye color?

Yours Quite Sincerely,

The Shadowy Phantom

Dear Shadowy,

Full mask with yellow eyes.

Most definitely.

-Erik

A/N: I'm almost caught up with all the letters!