Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera. I'll get over it. Also, I hate to disappoint, but I'm not really Erik. Shocking, yes, but no. I'm just your average, run-of-the-mill teenage phan girl.

Ask Erik

Ask Erik anything, from relationship questions to what he thinks you should make for dinner. All questions will be subject to publication. Submit your questions via review, PM, or email (in my profile). All (pen)names and emails are guaranteed confidential granted you provide an alternate name.

Dear Erik,
I am an aspiring performer. I most definately love both the stage and my
flute. I am already into depth with my flute, but I also want to start
performing, I don't have enough time for both, so which one would you choose?

A Wondering Musician

Dear Musician,

I really can't answer that for you. My only advice would be to try acting, and if you find that you enjoy it more, go for it. But if playing the flute is still your preference, go with that.

Good luck!

-Erik

My dearest and most beloved opera ghost Erik,

First off, i would like to say that im a huge phan of yours and i do love
you. My life revolves around you...might i also add that i also adore your
pants in past the point of no return (but for my own ish ).Any ways...I was
just wondering what is the quickest way to make a punjab lasso? Can you make
one using any thing, not just cat gut? Your the only person i knew that i
could ask and get an resonable answer from. After all, you are the master of
all punjabs. I can't wait for your responce.

With the most undying and sincere love,
Phantom Phan: pirate-of-the-opera

Dear pirate,

The fastest way to make a Punjab is to practice. As for how to make one, I have no idea. I've been making them the same way for as long as I can remember: with, as you said, cat guts.

-Erik

Dear Darling Erik,

Allow me to start off with a big "I love you". Now that that's out of the
way, and I'm able to hold back my phangirlishly tendencies, I'm going to ask
my question:
I am a Mary Sue. I have blonde hair, bug-like (hahaha Emmy Rossum) blue
eyes, milky-white skin, really smart, great at art, acting, and singing (my
choir director has me fill in in tenor, alto, and soprano whereever I'm needed
for the day), and I even attract ANIMALS for Gawd's sake. and of course, I'm
writing a phanphic where I'm entering myself into your story. (Sorry-had to
do it!) What can I do to...well, not be so darned Sue-ish?!

Faithfully and Lovingly Yours,
Aminta Kristine

Dear Kristine,

I don't know how on Earth to make yourself less of a Mary-Sue. If I suggested anything, I would say either leave out the whole animal thing or try to make it a comedy.

-Erik

Dear Erik,

I am a writing major in college and I desperatly want to be a magician. My
mom, however, says, "NO!" Seeing as you know everything there is about the
performing arts, what do you say?

- mrmistoffelees

Dear mrmistoffelees,

Either hypnotize her so she will allow it, or sit her down and talk with her reasonably, explaining that magic gives you greater joy than anything.

If she still refuses to see your side, finish college and then being studying to be a magician. That way, if being a magician does fail, which I certainly hope it does not, you'll have a fall-back.

Best of luck!

-Erik

Advice for Wanderingteen:

a)kick the offenders repeatedly in the shins until they move

b) bring something VERY HEAVY to school and threaten to beat them over the
heads repeatedly. If they do not move, raise it high above your head as though
preparing to bring it down upon their annoying little skulls. If they still do
not listen, put it away and resort to option (a)

c) learn to cuss in another language

d)learn an insanely annoying song and repeatedly sing it off-key while doing
option (a)

e)tell the principal

f) preform options (b) and (d) together

g) bring a squirt gun to school and shoot them with it until they move.
refill when neccessary.

h) all of the above

greatest luck with the midgets,

JS

A/N: I think I've caught up. However, if you have submitted a letter and not received a response, please let me know so I can take care of it. Thanks!

Also, wish me luck on my biology test Wednesday, which I should be studying for instead of writing right now.