Disclaimer: I don't own Saiunkoku Monogatari

Chapter 5

Shuurei's point of view

Shuurei never thought she would come back here and now she was standing in front of the palace outer gates. 'I should have talked more carefully about matter regarding Ryuuki and Shoto…I never thought that one of the times he was eavesdropping he'll hear me saying that his real father is Ryuuki. I heard people at our town saying to him that Seiran wasn't his real father but he always ignored it…' Shuurei sighed heavily again. It's been ten years since she left the palace and Ryuuki already forgot her. 'I wouldn't be surprised if he's married again…No matter how much it may hurt for me I just hope that he's happy and that he'll let me and Shoto leave…' She sighed heavily again and asked outer gate guards to let her pass. 'First I'll go to archives…Father has some serious explaining to do'


'In all these years palace hasn't changed a lot…'she thought after entering the archives 'Now all I need to do is find father in here…It looks like the archives are a bit bigger then I remember, but I bet that his favorite places of hiding stayed the same' Shuurei thought as she stepped around the corner and saw familiar figure of Ryuuki. Even though she was shocked to see him here she didn't show it in her face. Being an official all those years ago paid of with perfect emotionless mask that she put on at the same time she saw Ryuuki.

"Shuurei…" It was all the man in front of her could say before he stumbled down to his knees. Shuurei still stayed emotionless while watching even though the pain she felt was overwhelming her.

"Ryuuki I came to take Shoto back with me…" she watched as the words she said broke him down even more

"But why… Why did you leave?" Ryuuki whispered almost sobbing.

"I wanted Shoto to have a father that could pay attention to him. I wanted him to be free not bound by the palace walls." Shuurei answered still without no emotion in her voice.

"You mean you knew you were pregnant when you left?" still not trusting his legs to hold him Ryuuki asked

"I already knew for a month before I left." she giggled sadly "And I tried to tell you for the whole month I knew, but you never had time to listen to me. Then I left you a note saying about it, but you still didn't pay any attention… I knew it would've been easier for Shoto if he thought that his father was dead than knowing his father who had no time for him… I never thought that Seiran will come with me till he saw me running away and said he'll come with me" Shuurei finished her explanation.

Ryuuki's point of view

Shuurei stood in front of him emotionless even after his legs gave out and he couldn't stand anymore. A cruel beauty that didn't even begin to compare to other girls' beauty. No, she was not a girl anymore, but a woman. She was completely different person than Shuurei that he remembered. Now she was cold and calm looking into everything rationally. The hot head she used to be was gone. All that he could tell just after few minutes of talking with her. Ryuuki knew that she was never a cruel enough person to watch him suffer like that and stay cold minded. 'It's not her…It can't be her…This is just the mask of cold an emotionless face that she put on. That sad giggle she let out just few seconds ago showed her suffering…'

Finally Ryuuki found enough strength to stand up and look into her eyes through her cold mask and it said it all. Just like always her eyes were honest, they full of pain she had stored through years of being apart from him. Her eyes were just as sad as when she would talk about the times of war and people dying in front of her.

"Stay…Please stay…" was the only thing that Ryuuki could say. And he saw it, he saw her mask shatter into millions of pieces as shock showed on her face.

"…"

"Please stay here, stay here together with Shoto… I want to get to know him better and I want to be with you … I can't breathe without the two of you… Please stay, I'll do anything for you…" Ryuuki begged, but Shuurei's eyes said that it was too late as a stray tear escaped her eyes. 'No it can't be to late…Please God anything, but that…' Ryuuki thought as he watched her trying to regain her composure. But before she could do that Ryuuki pulled into tight embrace.

"Please stay…" Ryuuki whispered into her ear

Shuurei's point of view

Shuurei could no longer control herself as she broke down in tears in Ryuuki's embrace. It hurt her so bad that she caused man of her life to suffer this much. She never was cruel person, but trying to protect herself she caused the other person pain. And just few minutes ago she said cruel things that she would never want to tell him.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" she couldn't finish the sentence "I wanted to come back… I really did… But… I thought you forgot about me… That you fell in love with someone else…That you're happy with her…That you have children with her…And that there's no place for me between you two…" Shuurei cried and her words socked Ryuuki

"I would never, never forget you and replacing you with another person is impossible… Because the only one I love is you, you and no one else…" Ryuuki whispered words of love to her ear till she calmed down and just the silent sobs were heard. "It's already getting dark you and Shoto should stay the night here… And tomorrow, tomorrow we'll talk about things that are important." after Ryuuki voiced his idea Shuurei just nodded.


Authors note: I wanted it to be a bit longer, but I thought that it would be perfect for the chapter to end here. I hope you liked it ^_^