Life. That's all I have to say.

Well, that and fuck canon. And you have no idea how much I want to add Horuss into this.


Gamzee sees his emotions through colors.

It's hard to explain to others who don't see the mIrAcUlOuS motherfuckin' world the way the bot does. Of course he couldn't up and see them, it was all his heart-gear putting stuff in his think pan. All he knows is that the more he likes someone, the color brightens. Normally, it's like a neutral pink, not bright, not outstanding, just enough to know that Gamzee likes them. The highest he's ever felt was a pale red, which was reserved for the Old Man, followed by a bright pink, which had up and settled itself on Dirk-bro and Karbro. The lowest was a fucking pitch black, which landed on the blonde engineer's motherfucking little brother, and thinking about that makes his gears up and hiss.

Gamzee didn't ever think that anyone could surpass the red for his creator. Of course, he also didn't expect to meet his Tavbro.

At first, he was pink like everyone else, but that didn't matter, it wasn't the bitchtit's colors that made the bot interested in him, it was mere impulse. Although the bot would be lying if the colors didn't brighten every time the chocolate-haired boy would show for his mIrAcLeS, or when he saved him, or when they first hugged. It wasn't too long, about when he started showing up at Tav's window, for the color to hit the same shade as Dirk-bro's and Karbro's.

Those mIrAcUlOuS colors grew brighter when the boy read to the clown in his own home, quickly growing into the same motherfucking shade as the Old Man. The steambot didn't know at first if that was a good thing, but he couldn't help but peck his chocolate boy's forehead when he climbed into his bed- his very own creator used to do that. And it felt right doing the same for Tav.

When Tavbro started to share his dreams and mIrAcLeS to the bot, they grew again, surpassing the red for the Old Man. He found that it wasn't a bad thing after. When the boy asked the bot to stay with him in is bed that night, after unloading his tale, his burden, that motherfucking UNMIRACULOUS BITCH, and his pain onto the clown, the red shined off him brighter than the motherfucking sun.

MiRaClEs.

The week his Tavbro had to go without his parental figure was rough.

All the red feels the bot had in the world couldn't help him feel better. He'd tried all his mIrAcLeS, everything from stories to mindless magic tricks. They didn't do much, other than earn the bot a hollow smile. And Gamzee hated that fucking smile. A smile like his should be up and full of colors and unbridled motherfucking happiness and mIrAcLeS, not PAIN and fucking EMPTINESS.

The bot's very own smile felt that way for years.

He KNOWS what it's like.

The fucking PAIN of his guardian leaving. The searing, piercing, TORTUROUS pain that seeps into Gamzee's core like a fucking parasite, digging, LEECHING all the mIrAcLeS the bot had in this fucking world, until there was nothing. Nothing but a dull, hollow ache in the clown's hollow copper chest.

There was a difference however. Between Tavbro's and the bot's pain. Tavros' old man is at least coming back, the bot's is six feet under a fucking rock.

So Gamzee kept to the chocolate boy's side like a shadow, making sure those nasty feels stay the fuck away from his Tavbro. No matter the motherfuck what. Sadly, all his attempts ended in vain. So he just stood there, just like a motherfucking shadow, hoping to calm the boy's mind at least.

All he wanted, though, was a small smile.

Nearly a week later, the bot up and managed to get one.

That little motherfucking quote. He should've done it earlier. Of all the little things he did for the mohawked boy, a small quote from a motherfucking fairy tale was the one thing that worked mIrAcLeS on his Tavbro, bringing him to a full smile that could have blinded Skaia with all its mirth. It made the automaton's heart gear whirl faster in his chest and the red feels go crazy.

Which might be why the bot started to lean forward, fueled by impulse and red feels, hoping to catch those smiling mIrAcUlOuS lips in a real kiss he's seen lovers share.

He didn't expect his arm to give way and ruin his motherfucking moment.

Gamzee's second attempt, though, worked out better than he had ever prayed.

The boy's lips on the bot's felt like a mIrAcLe. His entire motherfucking body nearly shook with how hard his heart gear was going, and every bit of feels the clown had intensified. They were still though, the automaton honestly had no idea what to do, and Tavbro was all tensed up. Noticing the boy's stiffness, Gamzee was about to pull way, fear starting to creep into his copper core. He almost pulled away entirely until he felt trembling, timid fingers comb through his black locks and pull him back.

Tavros started to glide those beautiful lips against his, the small remains of the bot's face paint helping the boy slide against his copper lips. The automaton honked, momentarily shocked at his sudden eagerness, but soon relaxed as he started to copy the boy's movements. Tav groaned into his mouth and Gamzee's gears span ten times faster; the hand that was on the boy's beautiful mIrAcUlOuS face slid back to his brown arch of hair and pulled him closer to the automaton. They kept this pace for a while, until Gamzee felt his Tavbro break the kiss, presumably for air (which the bot now has a slight motherfucking hatred for).

Gamzee pressed his forehead against tavros', slightly opening his optics. He was met with the sight of his Tavbro, his face a bright red, his beautiful chocolate eyes glossed over and swirled with so much emotion, and his lips, kiss-bruised and slightly plumped, curled into a smile that made Gamzee's heart gear nearly stop. The automaton gave his chocolate boy a smile of his own, followed by a small honking laugh, which Tav happily joined in on.

No words were said between them. No words were needed.

It didn't take him long to dive back onto the steambot's lips, this time accompanied with a warm wet appendage sliding across the automaton's bottom lip. Gamzee automatically opened his mouth, letting the warm muscle invade his lips. The clown doesn't have a tongue of his own, so he simply played with Tav's in his lips and sucked at it, eliciting a guttural groan from the boy.

If the bot could taste anything, he would bet that Tavros would taste like motherfucking chocolate.


"You kissed him." It wasn't a question. It was a statement, made by one motherfucker, Karkat Vantas.

Gamzee nodded anyway, oblivious to the growing anger of his friend.

"You fucking kissedhim." The dark-haired man heavily emphasized on 'kissed'.

"Yeah, but bro-" Gamzee tried to explain himself to his pale friend, but whatever was about to come from the bot's mouth got cut off by the shorter raven.

"You don't just fucking kiss someone out of nowhere, you rusted piece of fucking scrap metal!" Karkat scowled, flailing his arms above him in frustration. Karbro's this crabby motherfucker that comes in the bot's workshop once in a while, since he was a kid actually, to 'get the hell away from those fucking nutjobs I call a family'. Mostly all he does is just plop down on the clown's couch and rant for hours on end until his just-as-talkative twin brother, or his boyfriend Sollux, or something, comes to retrieve him.

He also has a thing for romance. Not a small, 'just a few romance novels here and there,' thing either. It's as big as his anger. Which is pretty fucking big. That's why Gamzee thought it would be a good idea to up and tell him about the mIrAcUlOuS kiss with Tav.

Turns out, not the best motherfucking idea.

"Palebro," the bot started, turning to his friend and papping him on the head. The raven scowled, he hated that nickname. He thinks it's a crack at his less-than-normal complexion. Couldn't be farther from the motherfucking truth. "It wasn't outta motherfuckin' nowhere. I up and asked him, and motherfucker said okay!" Gamzee defended.

Kar looked at the automaton like he just turned human in front of him, before returning to the normal motherfucking scowl he likely sports daily. "Then he's just as messed up as you," he sneered, but the bot knew the phrase held no malice.

Instead, Gamzee gave one of his trademark grins and up and poked a copper finger at his pale friend on the cheek, earning a growl from Karkat as he squirmed on the couch. "But palebro, isn't that what up and happened with your first motherfuckin' kiss with Solbro?"

The raven's eyes widened as he turned to growl at the clown, the blush on his face in great contrast to his pale skin, "Fuck you, that's not true!" he yelled almost too defensively. The bot laughed, the incident in question clear in his think pan as the day it motherfucking happened.

"Really, bro?" The steambot quirked condescendingly, "That's not how I up and remember it." Ignoring the warning growls emitting from Karkat, Gamzee continued, sitting back on the couch next to his friend, "if I up and motherfuckin' remember correctly, you were here, on this motherfuckin' couch…"

"Gamzee. Don't you. Fucking. Dare."

The copper clown ignored him. "You were up and sulkin' here, about 'the one' going off and gettin' motherfuckin' engaged to some rich sis."

"The fucking heiress, ass. And I wasn't sulking!"

"Was too, palebro," Gamzee playfully poked him again. "Up until Solbro came here and you got very angry then."

"Gamzee, I swear to gog if you don't shut up I will slice out your voice box with my sickles." Those abnormal eyes of his narrowed in warning at the clown, but he knew they were nothing more than empty threats. The bot laughed.

"After a few minutes of fighting about what-motherfuckin'-ever, you planted a big one," the automaton grinned tenfold as he up and prodded the side of Kar's head again. "Right on," poke, "the," another poke, "motherfuckin' lips."

Karkat rolled his eyes at him and groaned before pushing the bot off the couch, Gamzee laughing all the way down. "At least we're fucking human! Not a steambot like you!" He shouted before he could catch himself.

Gamzee stopped, his grin faltering. Owch. That hurt more than it should.

He was right, though.

Karkat caught his mistake as soon as he saw the smile disappear. Quickly he moved to the bot's side, aiming to pap him on the head, to cheer him up and apologize. Gamzee's head shot up, optics glaring at him before Karkat could get halfway. "Don't be up and puttin' them bad motherfuckin' vibes up all over the miracles, Karbro." He said, stern, far from his usual mirth or chirpiness. No laugh, no chuckle, not even a damn grin. His optics glowed a dark, heavy violet. Not yet red, but dangerously waxing toward it.

Karbro shivered. He's seen this before, a while back. He just absconded the fuck out of there and ran off to get Dirkbro. Kar was just about to do the same exact thing, eyeing all the exits in the room, but the simultaneous rings of the clocks chiming throughout the workshop stopped the raven, scaring him, before he could even budge.

Gamzee, however, jerked his head forward a bit before the ever present grin returned to his face and his optics returned to their normal shade of indigo. He laughed as the final echoes of ringing lingered. "Oh! Time for this motherfucker to head on up to that motherfuckin' water place!" He chirped, his cheerful demeanor returning as if the bot never had the sudden mood swing. The automaton stood up and languidly strode toward the door. "Best friend can stay here as long as he wants to while I go perform my mIrAcLeS, and see my Tavvy." The bot honked as he made his way out, leaving a very confused Karbro behind.


Halfway through Gamzee's second performance he spotted his lovely chocolate boy in the afternoon crowd, a smile on his face just for the bot and a light blush dusting his tan features. The clown almost messed up with all the squirmy red feels building up in his chest, but quickly redeemed himself, his smile almost splitting his face in two. Only the best for his Tavbro.

When the doves were released and the show was deemed finished, the bot ran to him and gave his boy a big hug, strong enough to motherfucking lift him from the seat. And he hugged back just as motherfucking enthusiastically, giggling in time with the clown's honking laughter.

MiRaClEs.

(you will REGRET THIS)


Oop. Mentioned SolKat.

I also realized that I was 8 chapters in a GamTav fic without a hint of Karkat. I felt I needed to rectify that.

Remember, reviews and constructive crit. are welcomed.

The more you people say good things, the more I write.