Chapter 4: Born to Protect

Sarah resisted from moving. She wanted but didn't dare to stroke his hair. She knew he'd wake, just like John would. Now, Sarah unknowingly seemed to anticipate Zander's dos and don'ts with John's. But time and again, Zander surprised her. He seemed to share John's intelligence and charisma but apart from that, this boy seemed to have Cameron's sharpness and taking her charm to pile it with John's in him.

He was a miracle. Something that would do humans and machines good to know about and to learn that there is a possibility that these two races could live in peace and the parents of this boy; the hybrid, (as much as it was cringe-worthy for Sarah to think it) would be the proof.

Others may not look at Zander like he is an abomination but Sarah thinks he's perfect.

Sarah didn't want to go there but perhaps, Zander might be able to defeat Skynet, to complete what John was destined to do with a little of his father and his mother in him.

Zander furrowed his brows and stirred, shifting his hand to her knee. He had been asleep on the couch, with his head on her lap, for about thirty minutes now. It was a fitful sleep but better than no sleep. Sarah wondered how Ryan was getting along without her there but the last time she saw him, he was with Savannah. Sarah knew how well they get along and that Savannah was mature enough to keep him out of trouble at least for a few hours.

She looked down at Zander, wondering, how a ten year old boy like him could shoulder something like this? Accepting the fate that his father was the future leader of mankind, learning to fight and use firearms well, not to mention protecting everyone he could. Ryan was a different story. He didn't have to go through all that Zander did and that boy was cheerful by nature. He had it easier than Zander. After all, Zander was a Connor and Ryan wasn't. Ryan Connor was just a name. The Connors never had it easier even if they could…

The more Sarah watched Zander grow, the more she loved him. Sarah was so proud of Zander, Ryan, Savannah and of course John. They all fought with their lives.

She knew Zander for only a short period of time but he opened up to her after hearing her life 'legends'; thanks to John and Cameron. They painted a hero for Zander since he was a little boy. He grew up to admire the great Sarah Connor and she knew, taking pride in that.

But everything vanished into thin air in that tunnel, when Zander knew about how his hero had let the soldiers take his mother away, breaking a promise. Sarah would never forget how Zander looked at her; a look so full of hate and loathing.

(About an hour ago)

Sarah glanced back to Derek as the soldiers 'escorting' Cameron to the cells disappeared around the corner. The other six solders were there, awaiting orders. Sarah needed to speak to Derek, "All six of you are to stand guard outside that cell. Plus the other two." Sarah ordered.

"Yes Ma'am!" They snapped up into salutes and left. The moment they closed the door, she spun around.

"We're in for the shit from John." Derek grunted.

And Zander…Sarah thought privately, no need to add that. "Not if he's still missing…" Sarah mumbled instead.

"John's missing?" Derek raised his brow, "When?"

"Just a while ago. He ran off, right after Cameron told-" Sarah stopped, catching herself in time. Derek didn't need to know about Cameron's imminent death. He'd just throw a party. Luckily, he didn't notice it. Instead, he brought his hand up to rub his face.

"We have to find John." Derek frowned, marching past Sarah with an accusing look, "There'll be chaos with Cameron revealed and John missing."

"I was looking for him when I bumped into Cameron." Sarah retorted, following Derek out of the meeting hall.

They left the hall, locking it up before they decide to have a look at the soldier's quarters.

"We got to hurry. Cameron's injured and she wouldn't last long if left to bleed in that cell." Sarah half ran past Derek. He shot her a look of disgust and disbelief, "When are you going to stop hating her Reese?" Sarah scoffed.

"You called me that again." Derek pointed out, "Every time you does that, you're thinking of him, aren't you?"

"It's none of your business." Sarah glared at him. They turned another corner.

"Mom!" Sarah spun around, stopping. She recognized John's voice, when he was very young... which turned out to be Zander.

"There." Derek pointed down the tunnel. And true enough, when she looked, there John was. He was with Zander, running down the tunnel. Sarah closed her eyes, hoping that she would not have to face Zander.

The boy ran up to her, a smile on his face. He'd called for her a distance away; no doubt he'll be looking for her. His eyes darted around them. Sarah waited for him to finish looking. The smile vanished eventually and he looked up at Sarah, "Where's Mom?" He furrowed his brows, clearly confused. Sarah looked away but Zander was insistent, "Where is she? Where is my mother? Did you bring her to the infirmary?" His eyes filled up with worry.

"Zander…" Sarah started, looking towards Zander. The emotion in his eyes broke her heart.

"Where is she?" Zander whimpered out like an abused puppy.

"The soldiers knew. We couldn't…" Sarah's voice trailed off.

"What did you do to her?!" Zander raised his voice, losing his weak helpless look instantly.

"They took her." Derek told him. Sarah whipped around, glaring at him. The way he had presented it only made it worst.

"You promised you'll keep her safe!" Zander shouted desperately, his hands shooting out to grab Sarah's arms on both sides. His eyes began tearing up. Behind the tears, his eyes were shooting daggers at her. She had never seen so much hate and loathing…

"She is safe!" Sarah insisted, struggling out of Zander's grip to hold his shoulder. She looked calmly into his eyes, "Cameron made them believe that she was on her own. They don't think we are in this with her. I ordered them to lock up her and guard the cell in the meantime-"

"That only made you safe." Zander seethed, "Your ass would be suitably covered after this." His nostrils flared.

Sarah flinched. She glanced around before explaining, "if they believe her story, we can make sure she's safe. They'll still follow our orders."

"No…it's all for you. You're safe…" Zander breathed out angrily.

"Your mother did that sacrifice so we can still maintain some order around here to save her!" Sarah snapped.

She watched as Zander weighed the situations in his mind. Then his head snapped up, his eyes glaring, "They'll kill her…" He furrowed his brows, the hate never leaving his eyes.

"They won't." Sarah assured, "Not without a kill order from me or John."

No matter how hard Sarah pleaded for the boy to understand, she couldn't get through to him. Zander's eyes were fixed in a glare. Sarah looked into them, seeing John's eyes. She never knew her grandson, at such a young age, could feel such hate.

John stepped forward just as Zander stopped, "What is going on?"

Then Zander turned to him, "This is your fault!" He accused, glaring.

"Zander…" John sighed.

"Where have you been?" Sarah demanded.

John turned to Sarah, guilty, "Around. For a walk."

"He's not entirely wrong, y'know." Sarah muttered, "She was looking for you when..." She looked at Zander to continue telling the story she'd missed.

"The soldier, Barthelow…He attacked her. I protected her…" His hands balled up into firm fists, tears that were welling up in his eyes rolled down his cheeks, "and I killed him."

"You what?" John marched forward, grabbing his upper arm viciously from Sarah's arms. Zander struggled as John leaned in to look into his eyes.

"I killed him." Zander glared, pride shining in his eyes. John looked away, appalled by his son's cruelty, "he-"

"Zander…" John gritted his teeth, interrupting him, "You don't have the right to kill people as you like. You can't just kill." John growled, eyes burning.

"You didn't see what happened." Zander stepped back away from John's hold, his eyes filled with hurt and disappointment, "You're not there. You were never there." He hissed before he turned on his heels and ran off.

"Zander Connor, you get back here!" John roared across the corridor but Zander never stopped. Why should he if no one can catch him…

"John." Sarah furrowed her brows. John turned to her, disappointed with his son, "Barthelow hurt Cameron. He stabbed her. So Zander fought for his mother, when she couldn't do that for herself."

"Cameron's hurt?" John frowned, looking towards the direction where Zander took off. She nodded.

"I wanted to bring her to the infirmary but the soldiers interceded-"

John was already running down the corridor before she could finish.

(Present)

Sarah sighed, pulling her hand away. She couldn't imagine how Zander, a lovable and innocent boy, would kill a man. She'd seen the body for herself. Barthelow's face was beaten to a pulp. It was so swollen that Sarah doubt even his own mother would recognize him. There was blood still flowing from his mouth and his nose. Sarah could tell his nose was badly broken. Whatever it was, 90 percent of his facial bone might be broken or cracked.

Zander was there, glaring at the body as if it were still alive. Sarah could tell the boy was having trouble resisting the urge to kill Barthelow all over again so she ordered the men to bring the body down to the 'morgue' where all the dead were brought to if possible. Sarah was still in dilemma if the soldiers should know who did it but she was certain the soldiers who witnessed it would be more than willing to tell the tale.

She had a hard time coaxing Zander to get back to the quarters for rest. When they arrived there, he refused to let her touch him and the glares never did stop until she forced him down and fatigue shut his eyelids. Only then did the hatred seem to be simmered. Sarah didn't know what she should do; having her grandson hate her was unacceptable, unbearable. She loved him so much.

All she could do was pray that Cameron's return would appease him.

Then Sarah heard a beep and the door slid open.

John ran down the tunnels, to the cells where the prisoners were. So far, they were empty. John never thought Cameron would be the first to fill them. When he arrived, it wasn't difficult to know which cell Cameron was kept in. There were eight men guarded outside, armed. He ran up to them, ignoring the weapons aimed at him. It took a while but they recognized him.

"Sir!" They snapped up into a salute.

"Out of the way, I need to see her." John ordered, fixing his steely glare at them.

"Sir, metal is highly dangerous. And cunning."

"I think I know that, Private. Now out of the way!" John gritted his teeth as they unlocked the bolt and the lock. They opened the door for him and two of them planted themselves just at the entrance, leaving the door open. John walked in cautiously.

He knew this was not a regular cell.

John took in the horrified picture of his love, tied to the ceiling with chains by her hands, the cuffs at her wrists. She was left hanging just away from the ledge which he stood on. Normally, there was something to tie her legs too but there wasn't at this point. John didn't need anymore analyzing to know this was part of his sadistic men's idea as a torture. It hurts, to be held in the air by only your arms and John knew.

Her head was lolled to the side and her lips were paled and chapped dry. She was wearing her fatigues, like the last time he'd saw her. It was only a few hours but she looked so different, so hurt.

All John wanted to do was to dash forward, grabbing her in and removing the chains. He wanted to have her in his arms right now. He wanted to run his fingers over her soft smooth skin which was somehow, bruised despite Sarah promise she'll not be harmed. He didn't miss the blood soaking the fabric at her shoulder and flowing down her arm from her bloody palm. John balled his hands into fists. It was coming and he was ready. It came.

He held his ground, clenching his teeth to stop from crying out. There was a sharp ache in his chest. It pierced his skin and bones, right down to his heart. It was only a matter of time before it shot up into his head. He had to hold her, to know she was fine, breathing.

During his time with Cameron, he'd only come to find out how much he loved her. How connected they were by a bond he didn't think two different entities could build between them much less a human and a machine, physically. He ached, genuinely. John resisted clutching his chest, trying to stop the aching. With experience, he knew it would never fade. Every time he conjure up that picture, his chest would feel as if it had been hit by a bullet and worst come to worse, his entire body would pulsate, going into sharp spasms from the pain.

"Let her down," John ordered, his tone controlled but it was strained.

A soldier shuffled forward, "Sir, she is highly-"

"Let her down, now." John turned to the soldier but his eyes remained on Cameron.

"Sir, we want to make sure you know clearly that she is not Cameron Connor." The soldier said timidly.

John frowned, tearing his eyes from Cameron to look at the soldier. His brows furrowed in confusion but he was careful not to let the soldiers know this.

"We want you to be aware of the fact that she is a machine, who looks like your wife, Sir?"

John pressed his lips together. The made up story was piecing itself together with a little help from the soldiers and John would play along. He wouldn't change anything without Cameron's approval. He'll only listen to her, "I am aware, Private. Let her down."

The private regarded John for a moment before hurrying to follow his orders with help from another soldier. One cautiously pulled Cameron in onto the ledge by the front of her fatigues while the other unshackled her by punching the code into the pad nearby. The cuffs snapped open audibly and Cameron tumbled onto the ledge as the soldier let go of her fatigues. He jumped back, wary. But Cameron lay there, helpless and unmoving.

Without a word, John ran past his men. He dropped to his knees, bringing Cameron's limp body into his embrace. Her soft body felt so fragile under his touch like he remembered. He wondered why others, apart from him, can't see that.

John was aware of the eyes on him as he carried Cameron into his arms. He walked out of the cell unhindered by any of the soldiers. He wanted to bring her to the infirmary but that was virtually impossible to get there without attracting too much attention. Plus, when he get there, he still had to explain to Abigail what this was about. He used the less populated tunnels to get to the Connor's Quarters.

He couldn't stop to comfort her when she groaned out his name. She never once opened her eyes when John made his hurried way to the quarters. He passed the necessary procedures to open the door and he ran in once the door slid open. He paused from going into his room, looking towards Sarah.

Zander barely stirred, still asleep. Sarah glanced towards Cameron before nodding silently. John walked into the room, nudging the door shut softly. He placed Cameron on the table gently, rushing for the first aid kit. Cameron looked terrible in the light. Her complexion was paler and her hands were colder. John opened the first aid kit, pulling out the anaesthesia. He didn't care if he were wasting it on her since Cameron told him not to use it as she doesn't feel it.

John worked quickly. His mind was in a mess.

Things have not worked out as Zander and he had planned initially. They were so confident they had everything covered up, fool-proofed. But John couldn't shake the thought that it was his fault this turned out bad. He shouldn't have left Cameron alone. He shouldn't have taken off, upset with her for 'scaring' him with that 'made-up' situation. John muttered a soft curse as he finished with Cameron's wound.

If he had been there with Cameron instead of taking off like a child, she wouldn't have gone looking for him. Barthelow wouldn't have a chance to get to her. None of this would've happened. John began to wonder if he really was the supposed leader of the resistance. If he couldn't even protect his own wife, how could he win the war against Skynet?

John could not begin to count how many times he had let everyone down; especially Cameron.

He carried Cameron to the bed, pulling the sheets over her. She hardly stirred even after John was sure the anaesthesia had faded off. But her even breathing assured John she was still alive. He sat down by her side, burying his face in his hands.

Although Sarah did her best to hide all the evidence of the matter, with Derek less enthusiastic about helping in that aspect, she could only do so much. It was only a matter of time before words spread and the other soldiers knew. Cameron did her best too. She had reduced the 'damage' done by narrowing the blame down to only her. The soldiers, hopefully, would not doubt John's leadership or Sarah's for that matter. It didn't make that less painful for John. Now, he had to keep a closer eye on Cameron. Even if the resistance knew she was a machine, they were still unaware of the fact she was pregnant and John didn't know how to tell them.

Then there was Zander. His son killed a man, at the young age of ten. He murdered Barthelow by beating him to death. Zander did that and eight soldiers witnessed the cruelty with their own eyes. Zander did it for his mother. But did that make the act less unforgivable? How would the others react to knowing that Zander was capable of such act of cruelty when even his own father almost fainted upon hearing it. But then again, what was John's right to question his son decision when he was never there…when he'd jumped to conclusion and hurt his son, right after he hurt his wife.

John hadn't had the full story of Barthelow's death. He'll hear it from Cameron when she awoke.

Then Cameron stirred. Her hand shifted aimlessly and instantly, John linked their hands in a firm clasp. He leaned forward eagerly. Slowly, Cameron opened her eyes. He waited while she blinked awkwardly to clear her vision. He watched, unmoving.

His eyes followed her every move. Her lips parted and she breathed out, "John, are you alright?"

John frowned, "What?" He'd forgotten about his big upset and runaway episode.

"Are you alright?" Cameron asked again, firmer this time.

"Y-yes." John replied, nodding.

Her face relaxed and she smiled as if she'd learnt the war was over or something important.

"Cameron," John shifted forward, on his knees, "I'm so sorry for walking away. I shouldn't react so seriously to that 'made-up' situation." His shoulders drooped, his eyes downcast in a sincere apology.

"No, I'm sorry. I should not have said that to you." Cameron smiled, hoping it was a bright one and not the bitter one she was feeling. John had no idea how close he was to the truth. John grinned, leaning forward and pressed his face against the side of hers.

"Yeah, you shouldn't have." John mumbled.

"Alright, it's my fault." Cameron smiled, "I wouldn't bring it up again." John nodded, satisfied.

"Cameron, what happened?" John pulled away though his hand held her hand firmly and another stroked her arm which was folded across her stomach.

Cameron noticed and smiled, gazing down at their contact. His skin was warm. She took that feeling and implanted it deep in her systems; she memorized the shape of his hand, the sound of his voice. This memory would be in her chip forever, she'll never forget. She couldn't; could she?

"Cameron," John whispered, so that she'll look up at him instead of at his touch.

"I would say 'sorry for getting distracted by this-"

"You should." John interrupted, grinning.

"But I'm not!" Cameron protested, to John's astonishment. He'd never know when Cameron started to do things because she felt like it. The last time they'd ever talked about it, she told him she felt it was necessary. John sighed inwardly. Cameron was like a child. He turned his back on the matter for a second and she's all grown.

"Alright…" John furrowed his brows, still perplex but this was secondary, "What happened? And no digressing this time." He said firmly. Cameron nodded.

She started her story from when he ran off, adding her worry and how she'd actually felt. When she got to the part about Katherine Brewster, a breath got caught in John's chest but Cameron ignored this reaction, continuing with her story. She ended it with the soldiers taking her away from the meeting hall although John expected her to continue on to what happened in the cell. She didn't say anything about that. To him, that was the most crucial part of the story. He wanted to know what those men did to his wife, causing all the bruises on her body.

"I'm worried, John," Cameron spoke after a while of silence.

"About what?" John frowned, puzzled.

Cameron gave a weak cry of exasperation, "Are you listening to the story at all?" She paused to read John's expression but all he did was stare lamely back at her, waiting for her to continue, "Zander wasn't in control of himself back there in the tunnel! He was not the boy I'd known."

John resisted to giving out an exclamation of realization. Truthfully, John didn't give much thought into that. He frantically searched his mind for a reply which Cameron was waiting for.

Before he could answer her, John felt Cameron's hand, cupping his cheek, "What are you thinking of?" Cameron asked, her eyes gazing at him.

He was disorientated immediately, "you." He replied honestly. He couldn't have lied with Cameron showing off her charm like that at him.

"I'm fine." Cameron assured, her thumb stroking the spot beneath his eye gently.

"Um…" was all John could make out as he closed his eyes, completely relaxed.

"But..." Cameron started hesitantly. He opened his eyes, furrowing his brows at her, "Zander, he was different. He was so enraged, like I've never seen before."

With an amused smile, John leaned forward, "Haven't you realized that having you hurt makes both of us mad?"

Cameron took a deep breath, unsure if she should feel happy or worried. She settled for the middle of both, "Well, both of you shouldn't be." She couldn't help but smile.

"That's not for you to decide." John smirked, pecking her on her cheek, "And don't worry about Zander. Trust me, it's natural he wants to protect you, although he did overreact by…killing Barthelow." John shrugged. Cameron could see he was a little worried himself, he was feigning it for her sake.

She didn't want to make it difficult for John. She stroked John's cheek with her fingers with a smile, nodding.

"And, that story you made up…that pretend situation," John started.

"What about it?"

"I have to state a fact," John paused, gently brushing aside a strand of stray hair, "You are the love of my life. There's no one for you to replace."

"You are saying that now but in another future I-" Cameron ranted off quickly only to be silenced when John placed a finger on her lips.

"There is no other future. This is the only one worth living and remembering." John smiled, burying his face into the crook of her neck.

"John…" Cameron sighed, patting his shoulder.

Then John jumped up all of a sudden, "I owe our son an explanation…and an apology…"

Later, John had to go away to settle the big problem about Barthelow's death, Cameron's identity being revealed and Zander's abilities. He kissed Cameron on her forehead, promising he'll be back before taking off, leaving Cameron in the care of Sarah. Zander was still asleep with his head on Sarah's lap when John left.

He walked down the corridor briskly, feeling the hairs on his neck prickled uncomfortably. He didn't know what to say to them. John took a little comfort in knowing Ellison, Sean (who knew Cameron is a terminator), Derek and maybe John Henry would be there. Cameron's absence also made him cranky, uneasy and exposed. He wanted to kick himself for thinking like that. Cameron is my wife! Not my protector anymore! Get that into your head John Connor! You have to protect her!

He arrived at the Main Square. Everyone was there, all standing. They turned on the arrival of John. He nodded to Derek and Ellison, feeling even more pressurized without John Henry there to back him up. Sean, who was still a little cautious of Cameron after knowing she's a machine beforehand, was mixed among the others; looking forward to the official explanation. John made eye contact and Sean nodded to him inconspicuously. John assumed he must have been convincing the others too.

"Sir, we want to know if you are aware of the fact that our Second in Command, Cameron Connor, was replaced by a machine." The private, who was guarded outside the cell and the same one who 'arrested' Cameron, spoke.

John turned to him, zeroing in with a cold stare, "No. If I did, what would I be doing around it?" John added with a mutter, hating himself. Cameron had forced him to recite it, reminding him time and again what the consequences would be if the rest knew he was a 'metal-lover'. Despite John's assurance that he didn't mind being labeled one, he did love her and would not be ashamed of it. But as John had said before, she's one stubborn cyborg.

Murmurs arose in the crowds.

"I know you would be asking if Zander Connor is one of them. No. Paul Barthelow was killed by my son and I am well aware of that." John paused, "But he thought…that machine…was his mother. Barthelow attacked first and he defended that machine. But we will not terminate her for the simple reason that we'll need metal on our side to win this war. I will keep her under strict surveillance. From today onwards, you are ordered to stand down when you see her. She will be your second in command…"

Objection arose, "B-but why?!"

"Cameron Connor was a hero, she was my wife." John hesitated, he felt uncomfortable talking about someone who was well and alive like that, especially someone he loved, "and I loved her." He didn't know what came over him but suddenly, emotions flooded over and took over his mind. He began picturing the lie he was cooking up, "The machines took her from me." He looked up from the ground to realize the square, filled with so many soldiers, was silent. They all looked at him, faces carrying sympathy and some of the females were tearing up.

Without another word, John turned and left the Square. As he left, his hand caught a tear which dripped off the tip of his chin.

Zander stirred. He felt something. Abruptly, his eyelids flew open with a look so strong that it could pass as a glare. He sat up. He heard a gasp and turned with an angry glare.

Sarah was there, surprised but her posture composed. There was an awkward silence as they both stared, unsure what to say.

Then Zander caught it. He lifted it nose into the air and whiffed. His eyes darted around in suspicion before he turned to Sarah for a confirmation. She looked puzzled. Without waiting for the reply he wanted, Zander shot up from the couch, using his sense of smell as a guide. As he thought, he led to his parent's room. He didn't bother knocking and the door wasn't locked.

He burst in, standing there. His hand still on the doorknob. Cameron was there, on the bed beneath the blanket. A bright smile spread across his face as he closed the door behind him softly. He tiptoed to her and crouched down by her bedside. Her eyes were closed with one of her arm folded across her stomach and another by her side.

"Mom…" Zander whispered, leaning closer. Cameron opened her eyes, smiling, "Are you alright?"

"Yes." Her reply was simple and easy to comprehend but that made him even more uneasy somehow.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Zander broke their eye contact, examining her arm. There were thick purplish-blue blotches, running up and down her arm. There were also cuts, "What have they done to you?"

"Zander," Cameron placed her hand on his shoulder, "You killed a man." She knew how brutal that sounds and she took the opportunity, watching his reaction. He was unresponsive; or less hysterical than John were after he killed Sarkissian. She was appalled.

"It's okay Mom," Zander croaked out, "I will kill him, again if it protects you." He offered. Cameron was taken aback. She'd never wanted Zander to turn out this way. Does growing up knowing about the apocalypse turn you into a monster? John didn't turn out that way but then again, he is John Connor… Cameron didn't know what's happened but she knew that she'd created a monster.

"No." She stated firmly, "You have to stop this; you have to learn to take control of whoever it was there in that tunnel, who killed Barthelow." She stated, staring into his eyes.

"What? Why?" Zander furrowed his brows but an exhilarated smile spread across his lips, "Whoever it was in that tunnel didn't need controlling. He'll protect you! I can protect you. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do? Protect the people? Isn't that what my name says?"

"You are not supposed to protect me! You are supposed to protect your father!" Cameron reminded harshly. Zander blinked, surprised. Cameron could see he still didn't realize what he did wrong. Without a word, his hand shot out and brushed against the rough white bandage on her other hand. Cameron glanced at it. She'd grabbed the blade of Zander's knife by accident when she was trying to stop him.

"Mom…" Zander whimpered, his brows rising as he fell into a difficult position, "But I want to protect you too…"

"I don't need protecting." Cameron told him desperately, "I'm supposed to protect your father but I'm more of a liability! Look at me! So I need you, to protect him. Please."

Zander looked down, his eyes wild with confusion, "O-okay." He replied, whimpering, looking as if he were close to tears.

"To protect your father you need to have control over whoever killed Barthelow." Cameron said softly.

"I don't know how." Zander mumbled, his eyes still downcast.

"Look inside yourself. I know you can hold it." Cameron ran her hand over his chest, "When you see anyone hurt or in danger, it'll come out but you can control it. That is not you Zander."

"I'll try…" Zander mumbled, "Dad would not approve of this."

"He never has." Cameron rolled her eyes. With a smile, Cameron reached up, ruffling his hair like when he was young. This time, Zander didn't evade that even if he did see that coming. He grinned, laying his head down on her abdomen. Cameron chuckled, smoothing out his hair. He closed his eyes, still smiling, "Zander?" She waited till he opened his eyes then she continued, "I need you to stay by your father's side. Your whole life and protect him."

"I think I still have enough sense to do that for my own father. But that doesn't mean I must put him before you right?" Zander asked quickly, suddenly nervous.

Cameron hesitated. Asking Zander to choose between John and her would be like asking John to choose between Sarah and her. Although John chose her but Cameron knew it hurt him so much that if she wasn't there, he wouldn't have lived ten years without Sarah, "It means…that if John and I are both in life-threatening situation." She steeled herself to tell him this and then to see his reaction, "you have to save him...he saves mankind. Your father can create a better world than what has happened." Cameron smiled.

"I wouldn't live there if you don't. I'm sure Dad would say the same." Zander said stiffly.

"I know both you and your father so well. And you're stronger than he is." Cameron's smile faded, "I need you to support him if I'm not there to do so. You have to take my place. Love him and talk to him. Protect him with your life."

Zander furrowed his brows, and he blinked, "Is that why I'm here? To give my life for him?"

"No. I love you. But you know that this is more important than either of us." Cameron replied, "You are not born with a mission. You are born to be someone special. Do you know how special you are?" She brushed his overly long fringe from his face.

Zander smiled, "Yeah. I know."

"So you'll do as I say."

He furrowed his brows deeply for a moment before he shot her a smirk, "I knew there has to be a reason for me to defy your direct instructions!"

"Zander…" Cameron shot him a reproachful look. Zander's grin vanished as he gulped, "I'm serious…you have to remember that no one else is more important than John Connor." Her fingers brushed his cheek gently.

Zander frowned, pushing into her touch as he looked at her, "Why are you saying this? I won't let anything happen to you."

"That's my line." Cameron pouted playfully but Zander was having none of that.

"Your smile is different. Your eyes, they don't light up like they use to when you're really happy." Zander muttered his observation, "And your forehead is wrinkled…all the time…" His hand flew up in an attempt to smoothen them out, "They wrinkle when you're upset…"

Cameron was a little caught of guard with everything he had collated just from her simple attempt at humor. She kept her posture, desperately holding her panic, "I'm fine." She removed his hand from her face.

"Are you sure?" Zander narrowed his eyes.

"Yes." Cameron assured him, a little too quickly and she knew that Zander noticed it. He pursed his lips.

"Must I threaten you?" Zander demanded.

"No." Cameron replied calmly, "There's nothing wrong, yet…but no matter what, I promise, I'll always be with you."

"You promised, so I'll believe you." Zander grinned, satisfied. Cameron chuckled, stroking the back of head. Then both of them turned to the door as it opened a crack. Zander stiffened.

Sarah peered in, catching Cameron's eye.

"Sarah." Cameron greeted softly. Sarah blinked, stepping in and closing the door behind her. She seemed at lost for words. Cameron deduced it was the fact that she was a machine. Although she didn't say so, that's something Sarah, unlike John, can never see past. She bet Sarah had never visited a terminator in bed before.

"Erm…did the soldiers kick your ass or something?" Sarah asked casually.

Cameron smiled, glancing at Zander's rigid expression, "Yes. They 'kicked my ass'."

Sarah forced a smile, "You need Abigail here or…"

"No." Cameron replied hurriedly.

"I meant for the baby." Sarah added, ignoring Zander's low growl as she continued unhindered, "and a little for you, if you need it."

"The baby is fine. I won't let anything happen." Cameron stated simply, amused as Sarah looked away, shifting from one foot to the other. She seemed awfully uncomfortable, "I'm fine too. You can leave if you…need to." She noticed humans like Sarah seemed to feel better if what they do is necessary instead of for their own comfort. She was really a soldier.

Sarah looked at Cameron, seemingly considering the offer but then she turned. Walking awkwardly to the chair at the study table, Sarah pulled it over and sat down with it positioned beside the bed, offering both of them a smile.

John watched her sleep.

She was hugging onto his arm. She was so close to him that he could feel her warm breath on his bare chest. John sighed, running his hand down her smooth back, massaging it as best as he could without waking her. She was having these restless nights, tossing and turning, resulting in a slight muscle fatigue though it wasn't really inflicting pain but she told him it was annoying. But John liked to think that she just wanted him to touch her.

He'd help her wash up just moments ago and she seemed to be pretty insistent with having him feel her up. He was aroused but not that desperate as to pacify her hormones, if she had any, when she was injured. Cameron easily forgets these things. It amused John to remind himself she's a terminator. He was pretty sure the last time he remembered, they don't do these things. They had better things to engage in; like going to kill people, for example.

He smiled to himself which quickly developed into a full grin as Cameron mumbled. Curious, he leaned down. He couldn't make out what she was saying but she was frowning and her eyebrows furrowed. John smiled, kissing her on her cheek gently…and again and again.

Cameron stirred, the furrows between her brows deeper, "John?" she mumbled, her arms squeezing his arm as she pressed her face into his shoulder. He felt her eyelashes brush his shoulder as her eyes fluttered open. He imagined her blinking with every light brush he felt. His smile became a grin again as Cameron pulled away, propping her chin up on his shoulder, "why aren't you sleeping?" She whispered.

John turned to her, kissing her on her lips, "I'm not tired."

"Yes you are." Cameron insisted, getting comfortable again, "Your eyes are telling me that." She leaned back.

John welcomed her with open arms, letting rest her head on his shoulder blade as his arm wrapped around her shoulder, "Even if I were, I'd rather spent the night watching over you…it's good for my eyes…" Cameron giggled, wrapping her arm around his waist, "and…what were you dreaming of?"

Cameron looked up, "I didn't."

"You did." John objected neutrally, "You're starting to talk in your sleep." He pointed out.

"I don't remember what I said. Maybe if I checked my files I-" John stopped her abruptly as he placed a finger on her lips lightly.

"You are officially not allowed to talk like that. You'll scare the baby." John pouted. Cameron watched, mimicking his pout with her adorable signature one. Her warm brown eyes rounded, shiny as tears threatened to well up. Her slender brows shot up in distress and her lower lips trembled. John's heart melted.

He reached up with his hands frantically, genuine worry controlling his actions, cupping her face. Cameron threw her head back and laughed.

John frowned, "Don't do that…" He muttered, making her laugh even harder. He listened to her laugh, hugging her tighter. She seemed so fragile and breakable under his thick muscular arms but her sigh of contentment only made him squeeze her tighter.

"John…" She breathed out, her voice husky. He tilted his head to kiss her deeply. John felt her arms maneuver out from his embrace easily and grabbed the sides of his face greedily. John shifted his hands to his hips, pulling it towards him and grinding his groin against hers. She moaned, sliding her fingers to the back of his head and unsuccessfully attempting to grab his hair. It was getting long from when he last cut them in the forest but still not long enough.

She complained briefly with a huff but it was cut short when John pressing his mouth to hers.

"John," Cameron moaned. This was one of those times when John could definitely take pleasure in hearing her call him every 20 seconds. He grunted, pressing her body to his. They broke off, both taking in their much needed/wanted supply of oxygen. Cameron pressed in for more after two deep breaths but John wasn't done. He held her at bay, settling for a hug instead.

"You need your sleep." John croaked, still overwhelmed by the ecstasy and adrenaline flowing through his veins. His heart beat quickly, supply him more blood in anticipation for what's to come. As much as he wanted it now, he knew Cameron needed to recover in peace first. After all, it's his fault she got hurt in the first place; it didn't seem right to John that he should have his fill while she was so weak and hurt.

"Is something wrong?" Cameron demanded, not at all sounding unstable after that, unlike John who was still recovering and trying to find his calm and collected voice.

"You're hurt…" John mumbled, keeping his voice as low as possible. He didn't want to sound like a squirm.

Cameron blinked as if he'd slapped her. She withdrew from his touch, evidently hurt badly, for reasons John couldn't understand. He frowned as she ripped his arms from around her. She sat up and her hand flew up to her shoulder wound and she yanked off the bandage. John yelped, jerking forward to grab her before she could've done that but she already did.

The bloodied knife wound was still there, naturally. Underneath, the chrome skeleton she had stood out from the blood. It sparkled. John's eyes widened but not with disgust or fear. He dove out of bed, pulling out the medical kit. The wound had started to bled again. John had had a hard time stopping it before. He yanked out the box of gauze and took it out. He got ready to paste it over Cameron's wound when she slapped his hand away.

"Does this disgust you?" Cameron asked, defiantly.

"No. It doesn't. It hurts me. You're bleeding." John replied frantically.

"John, I knew, it was hard enough for you to have fell in love with a machine. Much less look at the inner and work at it. It's hard for you." Cameron mumbled, "To see me. The real me."

"I do see you!" John gritted his teeth, getting more and more impatient as more and more blood flowed out from the open wound, "What do I have to do to prove this?!"

"I do know you love me, John." Cameron mumbled, "But sometimes, I also know how hard this must be for you to see this."

"Of course this is hard!" John growled, watching as Cameron flinched, "You are hurting. I am hurting!" Cameron didn't reply, still even as John rounded the bed, kneeling down by her side. He brought the gauze up, ready to paste it over the wound. Cameron's once warm eyes were glazed with tears but she was still, there was no resistance. John paused. Then he got up and pressed his lips to her wound, careful not to touch the flesh. He felt the cool endoskeleton on his lips. Lightly kissing it, he withdrew, covering it with the gauze.

When he looked up at Cameron, she looked surprised. John smiled, ignoring the taste of Cameron's blood on his tongue. It had a normal metallic tang to it. Cameron reached out with her hand, cupping his cheek. He felt her thumb brush his cheek, wiping off the blood.

"See? I do see you, I love you." John smiled, "I wouldn't want a human woman with your face, not ever. It wouldn't be you…just on the surface maybe…but not the same. It'd never be the same to me."

"You're right…" She nodded, distractedly as if she'd just woken up from sleep, "I'm being stupid…" She looked down. Her brows furrowed, disturbed, "John…" She looked up, grabbing his arm.

"Cameron, it's alright." John leaned forward, his tone soft, "Maybe just the baby getting to your head. How do you feel?" He tucked stray hair behind her ear gently.

"I can't sit still. John." Cameron grumbled, apparently restless.

"Shh." John cooed, "Don't think about it." He got up and kept the medical kit then quickly tucked himself under the blanket. He remembered Cameron's temper was a little off when she had Zander but this time, it seemed to be much earlier, and a little more dramatic. The last time, having Zander only made her scold him for leaving the cap of the toothpaste off but this time, this child is making her angry and she's losing her confidence.

"John." She muttered aimlessly as he pulled her back into his arms. She lay down, more than willing to be close to him, "I'm so sorry… I didn't mean that…I didn't want…" Her voice trailed off as she muttered, "What am I saying? John," Cameron looked up anxiously, her eyes reflecting way too much energy, "Am I losing my mind?" The innocence was back.

John laughed, "No." He brought up both hands and cupped her face, "the baby is making you cranky and screwing with your head so stop listening to that and listen to me."

"Not that it's telling me anything but that's harder to ignore something inside you than you think." Cameron grumbled.

"I didn't think it'll be easy or I wouldn't ask you to do it." John grinned. Cameron laughed, back to her normal self, "Mrs. Connor had got to have some Connor in her too y'know. It's not an excuse."

Cameron chuckled, kissing John on the neck.

"Alright. Go to sleep. It's harder to control things when you're tired. You'll feel better in the morning. Trust me…" John whispered.

"But you want me…" Cameron protested seductively into his ear, her hand brushing over him.

"Cameron," John gritted his teeth, pulling away her hand from administering her seduction techniques. That would be when things go really wild.

"Don't you find me desirable?" Cameron's brows shot up and her eyes soften.

He sipped in some oxygen while he could, "Yes," John sighed, "But…not this, tonight. I want this more than you do. I would hurt you and it would be ugly…"

Cameron pouted, burying her face into his shoulder and soon, falling asleep.

John stayed there for a while, slipping in and out of his slumber. When the sun was almost up, judging from the time, John extracted himself from Cameron and took a bathe. He needed to talk to a particular person. He got dressed in his fatigues and tied his boots quietly; watching Cameron for any movement but there was none. She was dead asleep.

He risked it and kissed her on her jaw before leaving. John checked on Zander, finding the boy curled up in bed. He left the room, knowing taking another step would just result in a punch, if he were lucky. John walked briskly to the control centre. It was empty of any personals, apart from John Henry, as usual.

John walked in, not bothering to knock or warn John Henry of his entrance. But when he peered over his shoulder to see what was on the screen, John was shocked. He blinked, not believing his eyes.

"Put down the knife. Or I will kill you."

"No!"

"Let me go!"

"Zander! Stop…I said stop!"

John could hear the audio too. He watched as his son went berserk on Barthelow. He watched the exchange between Cameron and Zander. Then finally, Cameron's screams filled the control centre and John saw Zander killing Barthelow.

John gritted his teeth, balling his hands into fists. Barthelow deserves to be dead…

"John Henry, you saw everything!" John seethed, glaring at the back of his head, "Why didn't you help?" John demanded.

John Henry was quiet for a moment as the tape paused on it's own but John knew the AI was behind it, "You needed to learn. That a price comes with having Cameron by you. You seek comfort from her but there would be something you have to sacrifice for that blessing." John Henry said, turning around. "She's always there for you, to protect you. This is a dangerous relationship Mr Connor." John Henry said blankly, "Between a man and machine. You are John Connor. You might make this work for your end but not for Cameron's end."

John furrowed his brows in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

"The pain…" John Henry turned to the screen which was paused on Cameron.

"What pain?" John demanded, getting anxious.

"That would not be your concern. That's Cameron's concern." John Henry shot John a crooked smile, "The question for you is, are you willing to sacrifice many things in exchange for just…Cameron?"

John paused, disturbed, "I will sacrifice everything for her…" John mumbled. Now he realized what Cameron really meant to him but he could not imagine what he'd have to sacrifice.

John stopped outside Zander's door, unable to move. He needed to talk to Zander, for so many things but most important to thank and to apologies to Zander.

Finally, he pulled himself together and opened the door. Zander was already up and sitting in bed, the gun in his hand. In the dark, John couldn't tell if the safety was off. Either way, he approached Zander.

"Zander?" John stood opposite the bed. When his son finally turned around, that blank mask on his face. One that doesn't possess any family love or even recognition but his eyes told John he was listening to whatever that was said.

"I'm so sorry, for jumping to conclusions. I know, it was my fault." John said softly, praying for a response. Zander was famous for ignoring anyone he disliked, since he was a baby. He wouldn't spit in your face but he wouldn't acknowledge your presence either.

It took a while but finally, Zander turned around in bed to face John, "I was protecting her." He stated, "She was trying to stop me…but I don't know why." He gritted his teeth.

John stood there, unable to formulate any reply to that.

"And then, she told me I was wrong. I shouldn't have killed the man. But I couldn't let him kill her…" Zander frowned, confused.

"Zander," John started, "I know how difficult this is and complicated for you but I did the same thing when I was about your age. I killed a man for my mother…and I was affected by it…"

"I'm not…" Zander steeled his eyes, "Not even now. I don't even feel a tinge of guilt for killing that man…" He spat.

"I know," John mumbled, "I killed for your mother too."

"You know something else?" Zander looked up.

"Huh?" John frowned.

"There are some things worst than death."

To be continued…

A/N: Sorry for the long wait! This story is sort of on hiatus but not really? It'll be taking more of a lax pace and I'll write when I have the inspiration. This may also be draggy due to the Harry Potter fanfiction I'm doing simultaneously! I apologise to all you readers out there! Hope this chapter was satisfactory!

Alex: Thank you! Glad to know someone is reading this after all this time (:

Litbitnurse87: That's really something, considering this series is really long and dragged out longer than I expected. FITB is the great dip in their relationship and that is exactly what I wanted, glad it gives you the chill! ;) I wouldn't say it's on hiatus, I'll just write whenever I have the time and I'm more lax on this now.

Savannah123: Hi! Glad to know you loved it! Here's the update, hope it didn't disappoint!

James: Thank you!

Lithiummessiah: Thank you! Glad you liked it!

Yetikiller: Glad you loved it! It always makes me happy to know readers like what they're reading!

Rnbm: Glad to know you like them, it was quite a huge risk! Thank you!

Vox: He will! Thanks for the review!

EvilTheLast: Thank you! Sorry about the ridiculously late update! Hope you haven't forgotten about this story! I'm sort of going on a write as the inspiration comes, so it might be slow going! Those two stories are exactly the one I'm trying to find a chance to address and link! About the T-1000, they would be involved in much later in the story. Thanks for the review!

XxDeathStarxX: Thank you! Hope John didn't disappoint! I wanted to mix some of the main timeline in there too and hope to up the relevance apart from the characters and the concept of the story; which explains Kate's presence.

Grimjowx: Haha! Thanks for your review! Hope you got your major ass kicking down (to those 8)

Scaryrobots: Glad you enjoyed it!

Lee: As sadistic as it sounds, I'm glad my story touched you! Thank you!

Thelexy: Sorry if I ruined Christmas! To me, Cameron will always do what she thinks is best for John, which is away from robots and how she will do harm to his relationship with the human soldiers (which is undoubtedly very important for a leader). No matter how John feels, she'll always take in mind his physical and social wellbeing, rather than emotional; after all, that's what she sees and thus what she thinks is important. Sorry this is so long!

Morded: Cameron didn't want to cause anymore havoc than she already did and Sarah is helping so she decides to oblige, I like to think Cameron is smart that way ;) You'll have to wait and see but Kate is there to up the relevance this timeline is to the original, no promises if there would be a triangle! I wouldn't wanna write another FITB too, haha! Thanks for the amazing review!