AN: This one's kind of sad. Don't worry, not the Fiyero-or-Elphaba-almost-dies-and-or-tries-to-leave-the-other-sad. Not yet, anyway *smirk*.
Woodland59: I know what you mean, but there's still Morrible, of course... ^_^
Musicgal3: I'm glad I could make you feel better :D. The tiny-bladder thing? That's actually me. I always need to use the bathroom. Always. Ask my friends, they always laugh at me :P.
So some fluff, more fluff next chapter... but also some more not-so-very-nice things.
Chapter 7. Distressed
"Nessa? Can I talk to you for a moment?"
Nessa smiled sadly as she wheeled herself away from the door. "Of course."
Elphaba didn't think it strange that Nessa and Galinda were searching each other out right now. They had never been particularly close; but right now they felt connected by their grief about their sister and best friend. They only had each other.
Of course there was Boq, but he was rather awkward when it came to comforting people – especially crying girls – and he tried to avoid the subject of Elphaba's current condition as much as he possibly could, as Elphaba had noticed in the past week or so.
And then there was Fiyero, whom would normally be the first person Galinda would talk to about her feelings; but after the break-up, Elphaba knew the blonde couldn't talk to him like that just yet. She was still hurt and even though she firmly claimed that she didn't blame him for anything, she didn't feel ready to share her feelings with him again, either. That, and the fact that he preferred to be on his own these days, staying in his room or going to the hospital whenever he had some free time, was why Galinda didn't seek comfort with him now.
Despite everything, Elphaba was glad to see that the two girls had grown so close ever since her accident. It was good to know that they looked after each other, that they both had someone to talk to and cry with if need be. She knew without a shadow of a doubt that should this end badly for her, at least Galinda and Nessa would take care of each other.
Galinda went inside and closed the door behind her. She sat down on Nessa's bed, right next to where Elphaba was sitting, and sighed. "Nessa, how are you doing?"
The younger girl shrugged, looking down. "Holding up, I guess."
Galinda forced a smile. "Yeah. Me too."
Elphaba looked at them both, feeling guilty even though she knew it wasn't her fault. "I wish you two could see me," she said softly, reaching for Galinda, but not touching her. She looked at her sister, wishing she could help her somehow. Nessa looked so sad… she never really thought her sister cared this much about her. Of course she knew that Nessa cared in some way, but she hadn't expected it to go this deep.
"Father doesn't even care," Nessa said in a choked voice. "He doesn't even ask how she is, if she has gotten any better. I never really realised how he treated her until now… I just don't believe it – Fabala is his daughter, too, but he acts like she's nothing but a burden!"
Galinda moved to rub Nessa's back comfortingly. "I'm sorry, Nessa."
Nessa sniffled. "I just… I miss her," she confessed. "And I want Father to be here right now, both for her and for me, but he just doesn't care, and… that hurts." She shook her head, biting her lip and changing the subject in an attempt to give herself some time to compose herself. "What about you, though? What with Fiyero, and all? Are you okay?" she asked.
Galinda sighed and shrugged. "I don't know," she said softly. "It's a horrible time for him to break up with me, but I… I understand, I guess. I wish Elphie could know about him being in love with her. She deserves to be loved, and… and they were good friends, maybe she could love him back… maybe it would've worked out… I'd love to see that happening for her." She sighed again. "I wish I could still tell her how much I love her," she whispered, "and that she's the bestest friend I could have wished for. She's like the sister I never had, and…" She sniffled. "And I just miss her so much!"
It broke Elphaba's heart to have to watch her best friend break down after that, her little sister crying as well as she tried to comfort the blonde. They eventually ended up hugging each other, both of them with tears streaming down their faces.
Elphaba was crying, too, wishing more than ever that she could let them know somehow that she was still here, that she wasn't gone yet, that she loved them, too. She didn't want them to cry over her. All she wanted for them was to be happy.
"I'm sorry, Nessa," she whispered. "I'm so sorry. Glin…"
"Do you…" Nessa swallowed. "Do you want to pray together?" she whispered.
Elphaba knew that Galinda wasn't very religious, but the blonde agreed nonetheless and placed both her hands in Nessa's, squeezing them tightly.
Elphaba, unable to watch them any longer, closed her eyes and pictured herself in Fiyero's room.
She was immensely relieved when she found that he had already returned – she just needed him right now.
The moment he turned around and saw her, tear streaks still on her face, his face twisted into that concerned look that always made her cry – all over again, in this case. She flung herself at him and sobbed into his shoulder, clinging to him tightly as he held her in his arms. "Fae, sweetheart, what's wrong?" he asked her anxiously. "Please talk to me. You're scaring me."
"Fiyero?" she whispered, her voice breaking. "If – if I don't make it…"
His grip on her tightened. "Don't talk like that."
"Just…" She choked on a sob. "Just tell Nessie I'm sorry, and… and that I love her… and tell Galinda she's the best and only friend I've ever had, and that I love her, too… and ask her to keep an eye on Nessa for me… please?"
"Fae." He tilted her chin up, looking into her chocolate brown, tear-filled eyes. "You'll be okay," he whispered. "You can tell them all that yourself."
She shook her head fervently. "Just… just promise me, Fiyero," she begged him, still in tears. "Please."
Unable to say no to her – and knowing that she might be right – he nodded and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I promise."
She buried her face in his chest, still crying.
"But…" Fiyero suddenly had an idea, which was very rare for him. He thought it was a pretty good one, too, which was even more uncommon. "But maybe you could tell them now."
She raised her tear-stained face from his shoulder to look at him and sniffled. "What?"
"What if we tell them?" Fiyero suggested. "That you're still here? That I can see you?"
She let out a hollow laugh. "Fiyero, they'd never believe you."
"They could ask me things," he said. "Things only you could know. You could even talk to them all by yourself – you can write something down on a paper. If it works with paint and a wall at the Emerald Palace with Morrible and the Wizard, then I'm sure we can make it work like this, too." He stroked her hair. "Just think about it, Fae," he said softly. "I know there's a chance they'll just think I'm crazy, but I don't care. I know what they're going through. I know how much pain they're feeling, because I felt it, too, those first few days. It's been nine days now, Fae. It would help them a lot, and I think it would help you, too." He softly rubbed her back. "I can't stand seeing you like this."
She wrapped her arms around his neck and leant her head back against his shoulder. "Maybe," she whispered. She looked up at him. "Do you really think they would believe you?" she asked him almost hopefully.
He nodded, if only to reassure her. "I'm positive."
She sniffled, but nodded, too. "Okay," she said in a small voice.
He planted a kiss on the top of her head. "We'll go and see them in the morning."
Elphaba slept fitfully that night, whimpering and crying out in her sleep, waking up with tears streaming down her face. Fiyero was there every time, holding her close and whispering comforting words in her ear until she calmed down a little.
"I wish it could be like this forever," she whispered at some point in the middle of the night. She was tucked with her back against Fiyero's chest and his arms around her, holding her close to him, his chin on her shoulder.
"I mean…" She turned her head a little to look at him. "I mean us," she clarified. "I just…" She shifted a little. "Fiyero… I was at the hospital the other day," she whispered. "They said…" She swallowed. "They said there's no improvement whatsoever in my condition."
His grip on her tightened. "That doesn't mean anything," he insisted. "You can still wake up, Fae. You'll be –"
"Don't say 'fine'," she warned him. "Yero…" She closed her eyes for a moment. Then she whispered, "If my condition doesn't improve soon, they're going to have to let me go."
He was startled. "What?"
"Pull the plug," she said bluntly. "Get me off all those machines that are keeping me alive. They can't keep every comatose patient in there forever, and if there's no indication that I might ever wake up again, there's no need for them to keep me. My… My father would have to sign the papers."
They both knew what that meant. Frex wouldn't want to keep paying the hospital for keeping his daughter alive. No matter how harsh it sounded and how hard it was for Fiyero to believe, Frex really didn't care one bit about his green daughter.
"He'd be glad to see me die," Elphaba said bitterly. "He'd sign those papers in a heartbeat."
"But…" Fiyero's breathing quickened. "He can't just…"
"Yes, he can." Elphaba turned around in his arms, looking into his eyes. "Yero… I'm going to say goodbye to Glin and Nessie tomorrow," she said softly. "Just in case. But you..." She brought her hand up to cup his cheek, brushing her thumb across his jaw line. "You… You know I love you, don't you?"
He nodded, unable to speak as his eyes filled with tears, and she leant up to kiss his lips softly. "I'm not saying I'm going down without a fight," she assured him quietly. "Never. But just in case, I… I just want you to know that I love you, but if I don't make it, I just want you to be happy. Find someone else. Get married, have a family, become King of the Vinkus… I know you can do all that – you're smarter than you let on, Fiyero, and you're caring and sweet and protective… you'll make it. You'll be a wonderful husband and father… and king… someday."
"I don't want to be a husband or a father," he whispered brokenly. "Or a king. Not unless I'm your husband, the father of your children, and have you by my side as my queen." He only realised how true that was when the words had already left his lips.
She burrowed into his chest, closing her eyes to prevent her tears from falling. "I'm not dead yet," she whispered. "There's still a chance…" She trailed off.
He pressed her closer, one hand on her back, the other running through her soft, silky hair. "There is," he confirmed, his voice choked. "I love you, Fae."
"Love you, too." She kissed him again.
He watched her as she fell back into another light, fitful sleep, holding her tightly as if that way he could prevent her from going anywhere.
"Glin, Nessa, there's no good way to tell you this, so…" Fiyero took a deep breath and looked at the two girls opposite him. "I can see Elphaba's ghost-spirit-soul-thingy."
"Smooth," the green girl in question said sarcastically. "Subtle. So much tact. They're not thinking you're crazy at all."
He scowled at her, but when he looked back at Nessa and Galinda, he realised that Elphaba was right. They exchanged a look that clearly told him they felt sorry for him and thought he had completely lost it now.
"Fiyero," Nessa began carefully, but he cut her off.
"I know," he said. "I know this sounds crazy, but honestly, it's true. I discovered that I could see her a few days after she had ended up in that coma, and we've been talking ever since. She actually spent the nights in my room."
Elphaba cringed. "Just when I thought you couldn't be any more tactless," she muttered in a pained voice. "Now all you have to do is tell your ex-girlfriend that you're in a relationship with her comatose best friend and you score even more points on tactlessness."
He sighed. "Okay, you're right. I'm not saying this right."
"Let's just skip straight to the part where they ask me questions only I could know the answer to," Elphaba suggested.
Fiyero looked at the two girls again. "Okay," he said. "Let's do that again. I can see Elphaba. Her ghost, soul, whatever, is still around, and I can see her, touch her and talk to her. She's here right now. Ask me questions only she could know the answer to if you don't believe me."
Nessa sighed. "Fiyero, there is no such thing as a ghost and people's souls don't just wander around in Oz. The Unnamed God –"
"What does she keep under her pillow?" Galinda asked, interrupting the other girl.
"My mother's green glass bottle," Elphaba answered, which Fiyero repeated.
Galinda started circling around Fiyero like a predator circling its prey. "When did I first tell her she was beautiful?"
"On the night of the OzDust dance," Fiyero said. "Right after you two first became friends and you gave her a makeover."
"How did our mother die?" Nessa asked quietly.
Fiyero looked to the side, and Elphaba lowered her eyes.
"I don't believe that," Fiyero said firmly upon hearing her reply.
"It's true," Elphaba mumbled, turning away from him.
"What? What's she saying?" Nessa asked him, clearly starting to believe him dsepite everything.
He turned back to face her. "She says 'because of me'."
Nessa's eyes filled with tears. "Fa-Fabala?" she whispered incredulously, her mind telling her this wasn't possible, but she knew this would have been Elphaba's answer to that particular question. Fiyero wouldn't have made that up.
"See for yourself," Fiyero said, getting another idea. "Fae, push Nessa's chair to the desk."
"What am I, an obedient little lap dog?" Elphaba grumbled, but she did as he asked, gripping the chair and pushing it forward. Nessa gasped as she suddenly found herself moving across the room, ending up in front of the desk. There, a pencil and paper were lifted out of nowhere and the pencil started to write on the paper.
Nessie, I love you so much. Don't ever forget that. I'm sorry. I don't know what's going to happen, but all I ever wanted was for you to be happy.
Nessa was full-on crying now. "Oh my Oz…"
Elphaba was crying, too, and Fiyero wrapped his arm around her shoulder and squeezed her close for a moment.
"Thank you," she said to him, her voice trembling. "This really was a good idea, Yero. I want to say goodbye to them myself."
He smiled and squeezed her shoulders again. "Write one for Glin."
She did, and she brought the note over to her best friend – who blanched visibly upon seeing the piece of paper floating through the air.
Glin, you're the best and only friend I've ever had. I love you. If I don't make it… please take care of Nessa for me?
Now all three girls were crying, and Fiyero found his own eyes suspiciously wet, too.
"I will, Elphie," Galinda whispered. "I promise. But it won't be necessary. You'll be fine again."
I hope so.
"Fiyero?" Nessa whispered. "How… How is this possible?"
He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Honestly, Nessa? I have no idea. I just… I'm the only one who can see her and I don't know why that is."
"Does… Does she know?" Galinda whispered. "About… you know… the reason you broke up with me?"
Fiyero closed his eyes, not wanting to lie to her. "Yes."
"How did she take it?"
"Don't say it, Fiyero," Elphaba begged him. "It would kill her!"
"We're…" Fiyero wanted to listen to her, but at the same time, he felt like Galinda deserved the truth. "I told her a few days ago," he said softly. "She… She loves me, too. We're kind of... together."
"Fiyero!" Elphaba cried, but Galinda just smiled despite her tears.
"Good," she whispered. "At least you still have that. If something happens…" She shook her head.
"Glin, I'm so sorry," Elphaba whispered.
"She says she's sorry," Fiyero translated. "And so am I, Glin. Really. We never meant –"
"Oh, shut up. Both of you." Galinda planted one hand on her hip. "Elphie, especially you. You have nothing to apologise for. You're my best friend and you deserve to be happy, and if you think you can be that with Fiyero, then I'm happy for you. And Fifi… I'm not really mad at you, either. You can't help who you fall in love with, after all." She cracked a small smile. "And Elphie is the sweetest person ever… once you get past the sarcasm and all."
Fiyero chuckled softly. "Believe me, Glin. I know."
Galinda smiled sadly. "Good." Suddenly her eyes widened. "Wait a clock-tick," she breathed. "That thing I read in the newspaper the other day. About the Wizard believing he was being haunted by a past Ozma."
Elphaba grimaced.
"Elphaba went there one day," Fiyero explained. "She discovered that the Wizard is a fraud and that he's the one behind the Animal Banns. He's the one that's having them arrested, he invented the cages, and he doesn't have any magical powers at all."
Nessa paled. "Oh, sweet Oz!"
"So she went to haunt him?" Galinda shook her head. "Oh, Elphie."
"Wait." Nessa looked at Fiyero hopefully, having realised something. "If she can push my chair and hold a pencil, does that mean I can touch her?"
In reply, Elphaba slipped her fingers into her sisters' and squeezed them.
Immediately, Nessa's eyes filled with tears again. She sniffled. "Fabala…"
"She thinks it's because of her magic," Fiyero said quietly. "That she can touch things, I mean."
"She can't get back into her body?" Galinda asked, and Fiyero shook his head.
"She doesn't know how."
"Elphie…" Galinda spread her arms. "Hug me?"
Elphaba smiled and wrapped her arms around the blonde, and Galinda gasped when she felt that.
Then she started crying as well.
