Dislaimer: Glee belongs to FOX, the writers, producers, actors, etc. I am making no money from this, and no copywrite infringement is intended. All quotes were found online and are attributed to their authors if I could find them.
AN: I know this scene has been done, A LOT, but here's just one more take on it.
Still rated M.
Reference: "The First Time," near the end after they leave the school.
Fade Into You
By Lady Callista
OoOoOoO
In your heart, in your head, in your arms, in your bed,
Under your skin, til there's no way to know where you end and where I begin." -"Fade Into You" by Clare Bowen
OoOoOoO
Chapter 8: In Your Bed
The radio, normally their constant companion in the car, was silent. That generally only happened for one of two reasons. They were having a serious discussion, or they wanted to sing something specific, either because they were practicing for glee club or they were just in the mood for that song. But they weren't talking now, and they weren't singing either.
The silence wasn't awkward, it never really was between them, but it was charged with anticipation and nerves as each of them thought their own thoughts.
"You haven't said a word since we left the school." Blaine observed softly as they got close to his parent's house. "What are you thinking about?"
Kurt's smile was immediate, and he let his eyes drift from the road for a second to look at his boyfriend. "You. Us. When you asked I was thinking about our first kiss."
Blaine smiled in response, and their hands reached out at the same time to link together on the console between them. "I was so nervous. I could barely get the words out and then you just sat there, looking like I'd said something so profound."
"You did. You said something I'd wanted to hear since almost the moment I met you, and when you kissed me it was like this light went on inside of me." Kurt's voice was soft, and turned slightly wistful as he added, "I wished so much that could have been my first kiss. Instead of…"
Rather than allow his boyfriend to get bogged down in the bad memories that last sentence could bring up, Blaine cut him off. "It was the first one that mattered, for both of us. I told you that not five minutes after that kiss. Actually, no, after the second one."
Kurt could feel the light he had mentioned glowing in his heart again as Blaine shifted their hands until their fingers were linked together. Although he was still nervous about what was going to happen tonight, every word out of Blaine's mouth lessened that feeling. Here was someone he trusted more than he had ever trusted anyone in his life, someone he loved more than he had ever loved anyone. He took a deep breath before speaking again, and when he did it still took him two tries to get it out. "I told… I told my dad I wouldn't be home tonight. If… if that's okay."
Blaine gripped his boyfriend's hand tighter as he felt the quiet words send a flash of anticipation through his body. The same flash that had gone through it when Kurt had said he wanted to go back to his house. He had been so hopeful about what that meant, but hadn't wanted to assume.
Even now he was worried he was misinterpreting, although he couldn't think of anything else that would make his adorable boyfriend blush and stammer in quite this way. Hope was again swelling, but he dealt with the practicalities first. "Well, my parents are out of town on business, so it's no problem that way. But your… your dad is really okay with this? I mean I know he let you stay over twice during the summer, but this is a school night."
Kurt felt his face flush even hotter, and used the excuse of turning into Blaine's driveway to pull his hand away and put it back on the wheel. "I didn't actually say where I was going to be and he didn't ask, but he's not an idiot. Neither of us wanted to talk about it, that one time last year was bad enough, but he… he knows. And he knows I wouldn't do this unless I was sure."
Blaine was silent for a moment as the car shut off, unsnapping his seatbelt and turning, trying to read the emotions flirting over the other boy's face. He was sure now of what his boyfriend intended to happen tonight, and felt both the nerves and excitement warring within him. Kurt made no move to get out the car either, and after a long moment Blaine asked the one question he couldn't get out of his head, "Why now?"
Kurt unsnapped his seatbelt, turning in the seat to face Blaine and gently reaching out to run the backs of his fingers over the younger boy's cheek. "Because I love you more than anything, and I'm ready to trust you with everything." Their eyes met and held intensely as Kurt whispered, "I don't want to wait any longer to find out what it feels like to… to be with you."
Blaine felt the love swell in his heart at the simple words and caught Kurt's hand as it was withdrawing, laying a sweet kiss on his knuckles. "I love you so much, Kurt."
His breath caught at the adoring look on Blaine's face, and he leaned over to kiss him softly. Just before their lips met, he whispered back, "I love you just as much."
The kiss started to heat up at once and Blaine broke it reluctantly. "We should really get inside."
Kurt nodded his agreement and both boys exited the car, their hands meeting and fingers twining together once again as they walked up the path to the house.
Blaine dealt with the lock and the alarm in silence, focusing on keeping his hands steady. Rachel's words earlier, that it was more about finding your soul mate than it was about sex, echoed in his head. She had been talking about the play of course, and the fact that even as virgins they could use those feelings to carry them through the performance.
But as he took Kurt's hand again and they walked slowly up the stairs, Blaine realized the words applied to what was about to happen as well. He knew the first time wasn't always particularly good, especially for gay men, which was why it had been so important to him that Kurt was completely comfortable with him and ready for it. It needed to be about them expressing their love, in whatever way they chose to, because then whatever happened would be perfect.
Blaine closed his bedroom door behind them out of habit and then simply turned to look at Kurt. His mind flashed back to the last time they had been alone in his room, and he remembered Kurt asking him if he ever had the urge to just rip their clothes off and go for it. He had that exact urge at the moment, but seeing the nerves still dancing in his boyfriend's eyes made it fairly easy to tamp it down. It took him less than a second to think of exactly how his romantically-inclined boyfriend had likely imagined this moment. With a warm smile he crossed to his stereo, flicking through the iPod attached to it briefly before hitting play.
Kurt's smile bloomed as the intro music to Teenaged Dream filtered out of the speakers. He remembered the rush of amazement and infatuation that had shot through him the first time he saw Blaine perform it, only minutes after they had met. And when Blaine held out a hand his thoughts flicked back to prom, and the first time they had danced together. Then their hands met, and all rational thought slid away as their eyes locked together.
Blaine wasn't singing along, but Kurt could hear his voice anyway, and the shock and realization hit that this time each and every word was directed at him. Something that he had fantasized about both times he had seen Blaine perform the song.
I know you get me,
So I let my walls come down.
Blaine was looking at him with gleaming eyes, eyes that expressed and promised everything the song mentioned.
Let's go all the way tonight,
No regrets, just love
Blaine shifted his grip on Kurt's hand, slowly pulling him closer even as he raised the hand to his lips, pleased when the gesture produced the same result it had the first time. He watched Kurt's chest hitch and his eyes soften with an adoring smile, then deposited the hand on his shoulder before moving his own hand down to his boyfriend's waist. But when he started to reach for Kurt's other hand, Kurt stepped closer, moving into a hug rather than a dance position.
Kurt felt every muscle in his body relax as they slid into each other's arms. They ignored the beat of the song, simply swaying together and slowly shifting closer until the fronts of their bodies were fully pressed together. "I wish we could have danced this way at prom."
Blaine tilted his head, planting a gentle kiss on the side of Kurt's neck. "That's not all I wish we could have done." He felt the slightest tremble run through the boy in his arms at the kiss, and encouraged, continued to drop light kisses up and down the side of his neck before zoning in briefly on the spot he knew drove Kurt crazy.
Kurt shuddered again as Blaine's nose nudged under the collar of his white button-down, planting a kiss at the juncture between neck and shoulder before starting to nibble his way back up.
"Blaine." Kurt's voice was breathy, and his hands fisted in the fabric of Blaine's soft striped shirt. "Kiss me."
"I am." Blaine murmured in Kurt's ear, causing yet another shudder. He knew what Kurt wanted though, and trailed his lips back over his cheek until their lips met again, as softly as they had kissed in the car. It stayed sweet and tender this time, and when they drew back enough to stare into each other's eyes, the look encompassed the monumental hugeness of what they were beginning.
Kurt released Blaine's shirt, smoothing the fabric automatically before giving Blaine a smile only slightly tinged with nerves and fingering the buttons on his black vest.
"Let me?" Blaine requested softly, his hands sliding around Kurt's sides and covering Kurt's own.
This shouldn't have been new, they had seen each other shirtless before and made out that way, but this was different. As glorious as the long summer days spent by Blaine's pool had been, this was better. Knowing that they weren't going to stop, knowing that pants would come off after shirts, made everything completely new and exhilarating.
Kurt nodded, his hands sliding back to Blaine's waist, long fingers slowly inching under both the shirt and undershirt to caress smooth skin already growing hot.
Blaine sighed his pleasure as he slowly undid the vest's three buttons, fingers spreading to lightly caress abdominal muscles as Kurt dropped his arms back, shrugging his shoulders to let the vest drop to the floor.
He moved Blaine's hands to the buttons of his white shirt before returning his own to Blaine's waist, this time pushing the shirts up enough to see the tanned skin his sensitive fingers were feathering over.
Blaine kept his eyes on his task, undoing the buttons to find another shirt underneath, this one a simple white undershirt. He chuckled before he could stop himself. "Layers."
Kurt shifted his hands until they rested between Blaine's two shirts. "Pot. Kettle." His voice was soft, yet did carry an undertone of humor as he let his fingers walk up Blaine's chest between the shirts, flicking over his nipples and causing Blaine to gasp just as he finished the last button.
They slid slightly apart then, Blaine reaching down to pull his own shirt over his head even as Kurt again shrugged his shoulders back and allowed his second piece of clothing to join the first on the floor.
Their eyes met again, the heat almost overshadowing the nerves. "How…" Blaine's voice was still gentle, but slightly shaky. "I mean, what do you want to…"
Kurt smiled, truly realizing for the first time that Blaine was almost as nervous as he was, although the feelings had different roots. If one of them didn't get the ball rolling… Courage, he thought to himself. Courage, and trust, but most importantly love.
He backed away then, holding eye contact as he sat on the side of the bed, toeing off his shoes before bringing his legs up onto the bed. He took a deep breath, smiled his best come-hither smile, and saw the spark in Blaine's eyes before the boy also removed his shoes, crossing to the other side of the bed and climbing on.
Their eyes remained locked as they both slowly lay down on their sides, knees and shoulders brushing as their hands linked together. It was familiar, and comfortable, and resulted in most of the nerves and fears they had dissolving in a rush of love. They could do this together, just like they had everything else.
They lay that way for an extended moment, noses brushing gently as they intimately breathed the same air. Their lips brushed gently once, then again, before Kurt said in a breathy whisper, "If this was a movie, everything would fade to black any second now."
Blaine chuckled, feathering his fingertips over the side of Kurt's face. "And what would happen after that? If it hadn't faded out?"
"We would kiss." Kurt whispered back, suiting words to actions as their lips began brushing gently again. "And touch." His fingers trailed over Blaine's bicep, raising slight gooseflesh, and their arms slid slowly around each other as they sank into a deeper kiss. "And then rip each other's clothes off." He added with a smirk when they had to break the kiss to breath.
Blaine let out a surprised laugh. "Are you seriously giving me permission to rip your clothes? Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?"
Kurt grinned back, almost fully relaxed. Even now, in the midst of something so huge and special and new, they could still tease each other. It didn't have to be completely intense and serious, because that wasn't who they were. "Well, this is just a cheap undershirt."
Blaine laughed again, sitting up on the bed and pulling Kurt up with him. Although the idea was somewhat arousing, he doubted it was actually as easy as it always seemed in the movies. Plus, it seemed like it would set a tone of fast and frantic, and that wasn't what he wanted. He let his fingers trace over the muscle definition showed off by the tight, clingy shirt even as he replied, "But you look so hot in it I don't want to ruin it. Although I do happen to know you look even hotter without it."
Kurt blushed slightly, as he always did at such compliments, and before he could think of how to reply Blaine's hands were at the bottom of his shirt, slowly lifting it up. He raised his arms and tucked his chin, and a second later the white shirt joined the growing pile of clothing on the floor. He quickly returned the favor, peeling the tight gray tank off of his boyfriend and tossing it in the direction of the pile.
Still nothing really new, nothing they hadn't done before, but Kurt felt his heart pounding as he reminded himself they weren't stopping this time. They weren't going to jump in the pool to cool their racing blood. They didn't have to think of unappealing, hideous things, or take turns in the bathroom to deal with the pain of stopping.
Because they weren't stopping this time, and the thrill of that made everything new and different in the most amazing way imaginable.
Kurt let his hand rise to Blaine's chest, fingers gliding lightly in random patterns for a moment, circling his belly button before letting his fingers trail delicately lower, following the sparse trail of dark hair until it vanished into his khakis. He slid just the tips of his fingers under the pants, thumb circling over the button as he raised his eyes back to Blaine's. The heat he saw there reassured him, and he bent his wrist until his palm came to rest against Blaine's hardness.
Kurt watched in fascination as honey eyes darkened to brown amber, and he heard the sharp intake of breath. He couldn't help whispering, "Is this okay?"
It was a question routinely asked by Blaine, checking to make sure that he wasn't pushing Kurt's boundaries.
Hearing it from Kurt was new, and it took Blaine a second to realize what he was asking, and why. His world had narrowed briefly to the light touch on his cock, and he felt his hips twitch up reflexively even as he tried to comprehend what he had been asked and form an answer. He had wanted this for so long, not just the physical, although it was amazing he had been more than willing to wait, but for Kurt's normal confidence and dominating personality to show when they were like this. For Kurt to be the one to make the first move, or to try something new. It was so incredibly hot.
"Blaine?"
Blaine had heard the teasing in Kurt's voice when he first asked if it was okay, the amusement an acknowledgement of the role reversal, but now he heard a twinge of worry and hurried to whisper, "Everything is okay tonight." He kept eye contact as he lay back on the bed, one arm curling back to pillow his head. He reached out with his other hand, catching Kurt's free one briefly and twining their fingers together. "You're always so strong and take-charge, and it always worried me a little that you always let me lead when we were fooling around. It's how I knew you weren't ready yet, it was like you weren't quite comfortable enough to be yourself."
Kurt was still fiddling with the button on Blaine's fly, almost absently now, as he shook his head softly. "You don't understand. The shy, vulnerable Kurt is actually me being myself. I just never let anyone else see that."
"I agree with the last sentence, and you don't know how special you made me feel the first time you let me see that. I do understand it, and value it." Blaine whispered. "But the confidence and strength is you too, Kurt. You use it like a mask to hide the shy and vulnerable when you need to, but most of the time now it's not a mask. When you're happy, and comfortable, and sure of yourself, it's not a mask. It's you. And that's the you I want."
Too overwhelmed to answer with words, Kurt leaned down to kiss Blaine lovingly even as his nimble fingers made quick work of the button and zipper. He swallowed Blaine's gasp, deepening the kiss briefly before sitting back up and tugging lightly on the waistband of the now undone pants. Blaine lifted his hips at once, and Kurt trailed his fingers over a firm ass as he slowly pulled the pants down. Weighing his options quickly, Kurt scooted down to the end of the bed before sliding off it and standing. His lips twitched when Blaine flexed his feet, calves raising slightly and toes pointed in a way that made Kurt absently wonder if his boyfriend had ever taken ballet.
The thought was quickly forgotten as he traced his fingers lightly up the top of Blaine's feet before gripping the cuffs of his pants and tugging gently. Blaine shifted around on the bed, Kurt continued to pull, and soon the khakis were just another lump of material on the floor. His eyes traced hotly up Blaine's legs, lingering on the bulge in the red cotton boxer-briefs without a trace of embarrassment. He continued his admiration, eyes tracing Blaine's familiar chest before snapping up to meet his eyes when he saw the other boy's breathing quicken.
Blaine's eyes were hot, and if he was even a little bit uncomfortable laying there on display in only his underwear, it didn't show at all. "Now you're overdressed." His voice came low and husky, and he felt the anticipation surge through him when Kurt's eyes twinkled at him even as his hands moved to his own belt.
Kurt undid the belt, breath coming faster as he saw the desire fill Blaine's face. He let his smile turn sly, "Don't you want to undress me yourself?"
"I'm really enjoying the thought of watching you do it." Blaine said hotly, although he did sit up and scoot down to the end of the bed. "But maybe you're right." He leaned forward then, hands sliding over the soft skin of Kurt's waist, moving to undo the snap of the jeans even as his lips closed gently over an already peaked nipple. Kurt's moan still echoed through the quiet room as Blaine pulled the zipper down, and his knees trembled when Blaine's tongue came out to flick even as his hand slid into the jeans and stroked lightly.
Blaine tightened his grip, just a little, and when Kurt's knees gave way used the arm still wrapped around him to twist him around until he was sitting on the bed. He slid off of the bed even as he sat Kurt upon it, kneeling on the floor as Kurt gazed down at him with amazed eyes.
Blaine pulled Kurt's socks off even as the other boy relearned how to breathe, then rose up on his knees and reached out for the jeans again. With Kurt's help, there was soon one more article of clothing decorating the floor.
Blaine stayed on his knees, fingers playing with the hems of Kurt's silky black boxers even as his thumbs caressed up and down his inner thighs.
"Just take them off."
Neither one was sure which of them was more surprised by Kurt's sexy command, but before either of them could over-think things Blaine was gripping the waistband of the boxers. Kurt braced his hands on the bed to raise his hips, and a second later he was naked in front of another person for the first time.
The desire and lust in Blaine's eyes left no room for him to be embarrassed, and he felt his breath catch for the umpteenth time that night as Blaine scooted closer between his legs, hands sliding enticingly up Kurt's pale thighs before clasping low on his hips, thumbs tracing over the v-shape of his pelvic bone but not touching anything else yet except with his eyes.
"You take my breath away." Blaine whispered, words chosen deliberately to make Kurt smile. "Gods, I want…"
Kurt slid his hands over Blaine's shoulders as the younger boy trailed off, sounding suddenly uncertain. Kurt was fairly certain he knew what Blaine wanted though, and his cock twitched in anticipation even as his blood hummed hotter at just the thought. But he knew why Blaine had trailed off; the words were so foreign to them, had been carefully avoided for so long, that they were almost impossible to say.
But they didn't need to say them. Kurt leaned down, kissing Blaine sweetly before whispering in his ear, "Just show me."
TBC…
AN2: Okay, so this part is gonna be split into two, because I don't have the second half edited yet and I won't be able to work on it for a day or two. But I really want to get this up. The rest will be up in a few days.
