Chapter 04 – I know, I know it…I just know it
~ One of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love, love someone else.
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Who is this gizmo?
He narrowed his eyes at him. The guy had appeared out of nowhere.
Another college friend of hers? Looks like it. But why does she look at him differently than the others?
His eyes slowly shifted to her face. Earlier she had been smiling, talking and giggling with him. She looked like she enjoyed his company. Well almost, because he could feel the tension radiating from her…as if she was expecting something bad to happen.
But right now, her smile has faded, her giggles had stopped. All conversations died away. She unconsciously stood up from her seat. The moment this particular guy appeared in front of her.
Her two friends went silent too as they shifted a little in their seats, clearly uncomfortable in the current situation. What's going on? He observed the guy again. He had brown hair that was slightly messy and was wearing a business suit. Pff…what a showoff.
"Lacus." The guy spoke to her.
"Ki…Kira." She was blushing, he saw.
Are you blushing? Why are you blushing? Why are you blushing at him? Why is he making you blush?
"Good to see you again." The guy politely extended his hand.
He looked at his hand. There was a tense pause, but then she slowly extended hers. "Good to see you, too."
They clasped hands. 10 seconds gone, they still won't let go of each other's hands. Their eyes stared intensely into each other. He couldn't stand it and looked away. He noticed the guy suddenly tightened his grip on hers.
He immediately felt like he wanted to grab her hand away from the guy. He felt relieved when she quickly withdrew her hand.
"I … I didn't knew you were coming." She smiled at him, but he could recognize the effort behind it. He couldn't help noticing her posture suddenly stiffen and the slight elevation of her chin. He watched her looked behind him, as if to find someone. "Where's Cagalli?"
Who's Cagalli?
"HereI am!" A petite, vivacious girl stepped in between them and hooked her arms around her shoulders. The girl had blonde hair and her voice was low and a bit gruff. "Oh Lacus! I'm so glad you came to this reunion! We missed you sooo much!" she said fervently. "Especially my brother here. Right, Kira?" She kissed her brother's cheek with a loud smack, and then did the same to her. "Wow Lacus…you haven't changed one bit. Or should I say, you are as beautiful as ever."
He didn't look at her. He didn't want to see if she was blushing again. His eyes fixed on the other guy. Sensing someone was looking at him, he turned his head.
Emerald eyes met amethyst eyes. Both of them glare at each other.
"Who's this?" he asked her, gesturing to him. "Boyfriend of yours?"
"Boyfriend? You have a boyfriend now Lacus?" The blonde girl threw a glance at him; he could clearly sense the disappointment in her tone.
What's with that tone blondie? And who the hell is this gizmo? He gave the guy another glare and gave her a questioning look.
She threw him one nervous glance, trying to avoid his quizzical eyes. "My…" she paused for a second, "…date. He's…my date."
She hesitated. Why? What's with the hesitation?
"Date?" the guy mocked her. "You brought a date to our reunion? What do you think this is? A prom?"
Her other two friends gave him the 'it's none of our business' look. Obviously, they didn't want to get involved in the awkward conversation. He took a deep breath and stood up.
"I believe I haven't introduced myself, I'm Alex, Alex Dino. Nice to meet you." But he didn't extend his hand. He was afraid he might punch the guy right there then. But he knew he won't, he had promised her. He wouldn't betray that promise. Their promise.
"Alex Dino eh? I'm Kira Yamato. So, how do you like the reunion party so far?" His eyes shifted from him to her, then to him again.
He grinned. He knew the hidden meaning behind his words. Who the hell are you and what the hell are you doing here?
No one spoke and just watched as they glared at other. Not even her.
Then suddenly, the blonde girl blurted out loud, "Hey, I just remembered! I have been working on this project for a year now and now it's finally finished! And I want to show it to you guys!"
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He searched for her. He must find her. He needed to find her.
He had seen her dash out of the room a moment ago. He blamed himself. He should've gone in that room with her. If he did, she wouldn't be…he could have…she would have been just fine. But he didn't, even when she has insisted him to. He had told her, he has nothing to do with whatever the project the blondie had been working on. He knew his place; he knew his place in her friend's eyes. He had no business being here, no business to even try and make conversation with any of her friends. He was not even in the same college with them all.
So basically, he was an outsider. An outcast. An unknown. A nothing. Nothing to them all.
Perhaps I also am nothing to…her. I don't want to be that to you, just nothing. I'd hate it if that was the case.
Memories of his own teenage years start to emerge in his mind. Not now, please don't come out now. He violently shook his head; he didn't want to remember all those memories now. All those appalling memories. Right now, he must find her.
She had been upset when she left the room. He searched every part of the house for her. But still she is nowhere to be found. People are giving him the 'what the hell are you doing?' look as he kept entering each and every room in the huge house.
Did she leave? If she did, she must have looked for me. Or send for someone to tell me that she's left…left me all by myself in a house full of people I had never known in my whole life. You wouldn't do that, right? Would you?
At last, when he had come to the conclusion that…she had left him after all, he saw a figure outside at the back of the house through the glass door. He sighed out loud. He smiled in relief. She hadn't left…
So there you are…what are you doing outside all by yourself?
He was about to open the door to go outside to her, when he spotted another figure not far from her. Then he realized. She wasn't outside alone. Someone else was with her. The brown-haired guy, his back was facing him. He focused on her again. The expression on her face was one he knew too well. She was arguing with the guy.
What's the matter? Why are you arguing? What are you arguing about?
He forced himself to wait and watch what was happening…watch what is going to happen. Then her expression changes from upset to anguish. She was becoming distressed.
Distressed about what? He didn't care. All he cares is about her. All he cares is about taking her anguish away. All he cares about is…that she is…okay again.
But she seems to continue arguing. And the arguing doesn't seem to stop.
He looked away, couldn't take it anymore and started to grab the doorknob. He looked at her again. He stopped turning the doorknob, letting his hand fall down. This time he couldn't look away.
The scene in front of him was too unbearable for him, but still he refused to look away. He couldn't believe what was happening in front of his eyes. His heart lurched, as if someone had ripped it off from his chest and squeezed it hard. Squeezed the blood out of his heart till it's dry.
He hated that feeling. And he hated the very scene playing right now before his eyes.
They are kissing.
She is kissing him. That guy. Willingly.
What's worse…she seemed to prolong the kiss.
And that made him wanted to hate her too. But he couldn't. He hated the fact that he couldn't hate her at all.
Angered, heartbroken and feeling very helpless, he smashed the glass door hard, then quickly turned and left the house through the other exit. He walked and walked and then ran, ran as fast and as far as his legs could take him. He doesn't care where he'll end up. He just knows he had to get out of the house and as far as possible from her.
He kept running and running till he tripped over a can and fell hard to the concrete ground. This time, she was not there to catch him, not there to stop his fall, not there for him.
He remained lying on the floor and rolled onto his back. Rubbing his face with his hand, he smelt something familiar. There was blood on his hand. A LOT of blood. He silently wished it was the brown-haired guy's blood on his hands right now.
His vision blurred. Am I crying? What the hell am I crying for? It's just a kiss.
He knew better. It wasn't just a kiss. It was a passionate kiss, the kind of kiss between lovers.
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Should I smile cause were friends, or should I cry cause that's all we will ever gonna be.
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A/N - Thanks for all the reviews so far! I really appreciate it. And I would also like to thank my beta-reader for beta-reading this.
Now some of you might be wondering why Athrun said his name was Alex Dino, well that will be explain in later chapters. Some things is not always what they seem to be.
Lacus just wanted to bring Athrun to the reunion to get back at the guy, but too bad it backfires back at her.
