Tabula Dust Bunny


Author: Tohonomike
Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners... Joss/ME characters Spelling and others. I do not and cannot make money off of this, but for feedback I try to churn out a quality product.

Thanks for reading.

If there had been Continuity in the Whedonverse…

An example of a Tabula Rasa 'What If?'

What should Spike really have been like if his memories of himself had been erased?

Willow looked down and pulled out the crystal from her pouch to check if it was almost time for the tabula rasa spell to take effect; the stone glowed green and she continued to listen to Spike go on about a literal loan shark demon.

"He's got a mouthful of choppers just waiting to be yanked out and worn as necklaces."

In Buffy and Dawn's home, where Willow had made the preparations for the spell, a spark from the fireplace landed on the bag of herbs. And as they began to burn, they did so with a green light.

In the magic shop, Giles sighed and rolled his eyes a bit looked toward Buffy.

"Well, now that we've recovered from Spike's ... sartorial humor, I'll jump to the chase. Um ... I'm headed back to England and I plan to stay ... indefinitely."

To say the group was surprised into silence, would be an understatement. Even Anya, sitting next to him remained quiet. Xander, leaning back in his chair next to Willow was of course the first to break silence.

"Now? Not now, I mean, not after ... everything."

"Yes, now," Giles replied as Anya looked hopeful and contributed her two cents.

"For real this time? 'Cause honest to Pete, a young shopkeeper's heart can only take so much ... I mean, not that I want you to go—"

Buffy stood and while shaking her head and raising her hands as if to ward of the situation, made for the door

"I can't do this. I just, I don't think..."

"Buffy, listen," Willow pleaded from the chair next to Xander, his jacket around her to keep out the cold. "I know this must be awful for you, and I, I'm sorry, I ... I'm so sorry for..."

"Everybody's sorry. I know that you guys are just trying to help ... but it's just, it's too much. And, and I, I can't take it any more," Buffy began to sob. "If you guys ... if you guys understood how it felt ... how it feels. It's like I'm dying, it—"

Before she could continue, the entire group collapsed into unconsciousness—Buffy to the floor at the top of the steps, Giles and Anya against each other in their chairs, Willow and Xander fall to the floor on their side of the table. Dawn on the lower level floor, Tara by herself in a chair, across the room, to the floor as Spike fell over onto some books on the counter.

With Slayer constitution, a young blonde in her early twenties, some time later roused to life again.

"Huh?" she asked, thankful that whatever was going on, she wasn't drooling all over. The place was dark, but from what little dim light was available, she moved and turned the lights on, which caused the other denizens to stir.

The redhead awoke to find herself snuggle against a handsome-enough dark-haired man; she gasped and jumped bak, as does the young man. Staring at each other a mment, he eturns a rather cheesy lopsided grin.

"Hey."

"Hey?" she responded uncertainly, and looked over to where a thin pseudo-brunette was waking up with an older man resting on her shoulder. The young woman frowns at the drool on her, and exchanges a very confused look with the man as a blonde in hippy clothes begins to move in her chair.

"Hello?" the older man broached as he moved to right and tidy himself somewhat. As he did, a white-haired man in who'd been asleep on the counter, awakening from the noise of the others, the lights coming on and a deep hunger, fell to the floor. Within, that individual winced in pain as his senses seemed to be on maximum, the memories necessary to control such things gone for the time as a teenage brunette on the lower floor awoke fully and shrieked in startlement at his fall. The ridged face of the white-haired man, fangs protruding slightly, again winced in pain at the sudden loud noise, detracting as it was from the deep burning of hunger the smell of the others caused.

The ridge-faced man rose to his feet behind the counter, looked around to see who smelled delicious to him. Dawn, continuing to be upset from the noise of the ugly being's fall, screamed again and ran for the back of the building. The athletic blonde on the upper landing of the magic store froze with a severe cramping in her abdomen as she watched the ugly guy in a seriously bad brown suit and bow tie come out from around the counter. The weirdo was inhaling deeply, and his sneer revealed ugly teeth to go with the yellow eyes.

"Please don't hurt me!" the young girl cried as she ran past the blonde, a dark-haired lug near a redhead without thought jumping to his feet as the seeming movie-monster moved in the direction of both girls. The blonde Californian, hunching over slightly as the discomfort passed, rolled instinctively aside as the creature dove in for a bite, screaming and half-grabbing its head as it moved by. The dark-haired lug wasn't so lucky, and for a moment achieved an admirable imitation of an immovable object to monster-guy's irresistible force.

Neither being able to consciously draw upon any fighting skills; the two males crashed over a couple of chairs, causing white haired guy to roll under the table and dark haired guy to cry out in pain as he landed next to the cute redhead he'd woken up with. The attacker screamed in pain and grabbed its head, emboldening others to be brave.

The older man grabbed a chair and raced over to attack the man pretending to be a vampire, bashing the untoward fellow twice before the furniture shattered and blood oozed from cuts. The short blonde and the dark-haired lug both picked up chair legs as the creature began to heal before their eyes as it scrambled away from the now-swearing Englishman. This brought the apparent-vampire closer to the redhead and her guy who'd begun charging back. The young male lunged forward without thought and started pounding on the thing's head, as the California blonde did the same. However, not knowing she was a Slayer, Slayer strength pretty much resulted in a messy end for the efforts of one known to others as William the Bloody, even as he bit into her left calf muscle. This made it easy, however, for the dark-haired man to use his chair-leg in as final strike to the barely-connected head, resulting in a cloud of dust.

"Eww!" most of the females responded, but Xander looked confused as the redhead moved close to him. Xander looked up at the other guy in the room.

"Where'd the clothes go?"

"No idea, b-but I'm guessing that monster won't be bothering us again."

Anya moved close to Giles, feeling comfortable, at least as much as they had moments before waking up next to each other. The dark-haired man looked around.

"Um, I must have hit my head harder than I thought. I don't know any of you people," he stated while scratching his forehead in confusion. He looked over at the girl he'd gotten up with, "Though you're hot."

Willow blushed, and smiled shyly at him, then looked concerned.

"You don't know me?"

"Not a clue."

"But you were just all like, 'oh, hey.'"

"Yeah, 'cause I thought you were a hot girl and I'd remember, but... after this monster thing…no clue. And my breath and yours doesn't smell like we got drunk, so I have no idea. Mr. English Guy?"

"I'm afraid that it must not be a head wound, else I am suffering the same situation."

"Huh?"

"I can't remember who I am either. Anyone?"

Everyone looked embarrassed as the shook their heads and mumbled that they didn't. With Anya pressing up against him slightly, he felt something in his clothes.

"Oh, wallets," he stated, and the others looked for identification.

"'Alexander Harris' is me. Hey, I exist."

"I'm Willow Rosenberg," she smiled, looking at her apparent boyfriend. "Heh, Willow. Funny name, my parents must be hippies." She looked at the other blonde, "No offense."

"I think it's a pretty name, and none taken," the girl assured her. "Hmm, I'm Tara, and look, I'm a student at U.C. Sunnydale."

"Me too! Hey, maybe we're study buddies."

The teenager looks to the California blonde, "I don't have a wallet."

"Don't worry. Me neither," she smiled in commiseration. "But here, look at your necklace. You're Dawn."

"Okay, cool," she smiled in relief,

"I'm, uh, called Rupert Giles," the Englishman offered, the woman next to him smiling fondly and repeating his name. Willow looked around the shop at everything, taking in their surroundings.

"Look at this stuff on these shelves. Weird jars of weird stuff, strange books with crazy covers, like Magic for Beginners."

Tara wandered around, and nodded in agreement, "This is a magic shop. A-a-a real magic shop."

The California blonde was about to gree, when Rupert burst out dismissively, "Magic! Magic's all balderdash and chicanery. I'm afraid we don't know a bloody thing. Except I seem to be British, don't I? Uh, and a man. With ... glasses. Well, that narrows it down considerably."

Anya with great excitement held up her hand to Giles.

"Look! It's okay. We're engaged."

"Oh? Excellent."

"It's a lovely ring."

"Indeed, what about anyone else? Any clues?"

"Oh, hey, I have a name on my jacket," Willow discovered as she took it off. "Harris."

"Harris? That's my last name. Maybe I have a brother and you go out with him. Or maybe you go out with me."

"Well, we did wake up all snuggly-wuggly. (walks closer to him) Maybe you're my boyfriend."

"Either that, or I got one pissed-off brother out there somewhere," he smiled as Willow giggled happily and snuggled close.

"I'm Ann-ya! " the girl who'd moved over to the cash register declared. "And Rupert and I seem to be the owners of this store."

"This is our magic shop? Uh, well, that's very, uh, uh, progressive of me. Humoring the weak-minded and all," he said and turned to the assembled group. "Any ideas as how to proceed?"

The short California blonde looked around, "We have no idea what's wrong with us. I think a hospital's our best bet."

"An excellent idea; anyone?"

Xander looked around, and noticed that his 'girlfriend' seemed to be checking out the blonde dressed as a hippy. This caused him to smile rather than be concerned.

"Um, hey guys. This is a magic shop, right? Well, how 'bout Willow," nodded at the redhead, then at the blonde, "Tara and I go and check out our homesteads, then swing by here with food in a while. You guys look through the books and see if there's a magic way to stop this. Then we'll go to the hospital; one thing I do remember is that hospitals are expensive. So I think trying this mojo stuff first is a good bet."

"What makes you think that Alex?" the shorter violent blonde, asked.

"Well, vampire, so magic. And since Willow and I are a twosome, we have more chances of finding out who we and then all of you are."

"And what about, um, Tara?" Willow asked.

"That makes it a threesome and improves our chances." He looked at the shock on Tara and Willow's faces, then corrected himself. "As in three of us finding out who we are, not what you think I mean."

It was only when Willow had spent the night with Xander and accidentally dropped the crystal onto the bathroom floor the next morning that everyone's memories returned. And life in Sunnydale didn't quite turn out as expected as Tara transferred to USC two weeks later, unable to get the image of Willow and Xander being together after Willow's magic abuse.

Anya, having spent the night with Rupert, her 'obvious' fiancée, convinced him to stay in Sunnydale—just in case he'd knocked her up. Regardless, the animosity and embarrassment between the two now-mixed couples was too much for matters, or in this case, affairs, to simply return to normal.

In the end, Willow had redirected the obsessive parts of her personality back to her computer science degree, and this allowed the Trio of Would-Be Evil to be ruined through tax repossessions, IRS audits, and daytime police work that even Sunnydale PD couldn't flub. And best of all, Alexander Rupert Harris was born to Xander and Willow at the end of August 2002; since Willow had been in a lesbian relationship, and had been arrogant, she'd neglected protection, as had Xander when they'd gotten together 'that night'.

The couple moved in with Buffy and Dawn, helped pay bills while the two best friends who were girls continued at UC Sunnydale for the next couple of years. Dawn had a relatively quiet set of teen years.

The end.

Certainly not my best, but after watching the episode again recently I thought this little 20-minute pseudo-rehash squeaked by well enough to allow me to close out this group of one. I kept remembering the demon had the memories of the person; so no memories left only the demon, not a wimpy human.