(Interlude – Black Heart Memories)

He should have known better than to expect that she'll be coming for the reunion…especially after what had happened between them the last time. He still thinks of her every now and then. Every single day, she constantly appears in the back of his mind. How is she? Is she well? Does she hate him? What she's been up to these years? Does she still love him? Does she think about him too? Then came the questions that drove him so agonizingly close to insanity, has she moved on? Did she found someone else? Is she married now? Does she have kids? Who is the fucking moron that is screwing her now?

Tension gripped him as he scanned those faces, searching for one in particular that had always been in his heart but is currently not among the crowd.

Lacus Clyne.

She wasn't there. Or at least not yet, which he hoped was the case.

"Kira Yamato, you old dog!" came a voice that startled Kira from his thoughts. It was Sai Argyle, his partner in crime during their college days. "It's wonderful to see that you are still alive! What were you thinking, staying out of touch with us for four years? I don't care how rich and successful you are now. I ought to kick your butt."

"Yeah, you promised me that years ago," Kira replied, still somewhat tense from the surprise, "and I haven't seen any action yet." He gave Sai his famous grin.

Sai laughed, "You dog, your comebacks are impeccable as always. Congratulations, man. Heard you sold your latest security software for big bucks. I could already see the headlines saying, 'Kira Yamato, the most eligible millionaire of the year."

"Well, well, well…look who decided to finally show up at this crappy reunion. Don't you have some dinner event you need to get to?" cut in Fllay Allster, looking and sounding exactly like the sassy cheerleader she'd been in college. She gave him her usual charming smile before pulling him into a tight hug, "I've missed you so much, Kira. Where have you been?"

When she pulled away, he noticed that she wore a sizable diamond on her left hand. Fllay waved her left hand in front of his face when she noticed his frown, "Too late, tiger. I'll be walking down the aisle in three months."

"Well Fllay, what can I say? You are the one that got away." His smile faltered a bit when a thought occurred to him, what if Lacus is…married too?

After chatting with his friends for a while, he looked around again. Half expecting to meet the gaze of the crystal blue-eyed cherry blossom-haired goddess he greatly missed and hadn't seen for four years.

"She's not here yet, Kira," his sister's voice came out of nowhere. He felt a hand on his shoulder, "She should be soon, though."

He didn't pretend not to know whom she meant. Gritting his teeth, he silently fought the sudden temptation to strangle her. It couldn't be helped though; this is his twin sister, Cagalli. It goes without saying that they could read each other's thought or something.

Kira had rented Cagalli a house in Heliopolis and lived there with her and several friends for a while, but he'd never really felt a part of the group. Although Cagalli and he are twins, he'd always felt decades older, working to pay the bills and Cagalli's tuition while the others attended classes, parties and ball games. He'd actually seen very little of his housemates.

Well, except for Lacus.

Lacus. Guilt and regret jabbed deep into his gut.

Cagalli pursed her lips and shook her head, "I never thought you'd come to the reunion this year. Seriously, I'm worried about you, Kira. You've been too caught up in business that you've forgotten that there's more to life. I'm more likely to see you on the news or on some society page than I am in person."

"That's crazy." He told her.

"Oh, yeah?" Cagalli lodged a hand on one hip. "You're always with the 'power players' now, you've lost touch with the people who really care about you."

"Like who?"

"Me, for instant. When was the last time we saw each other?"

"Just a few weeks ago."

"Weeks, Kira? Seriously? Try a FULL YEAR. You can barely squeeze me into your schedule, you're so wrapped up in your financial ventures and schmoozing with high society. Sometimes I wonder if you really care about me at all," She shook her head again, looking bewildered. "How can you be happy spending so much time with the same kind of people who put us down our whole lives? Don't you remember what they did to dad, and mum, and … and us?"

"I haven't forgotten a damn thing." A surge of dark emotion accompanied his words. He would never forget. And that was why he intended to climb to the very top of the power chain. Nobody he cared about would ever again suffer the fear and degradation that had beaten down his immigrant parents and riddled his and Cagalli's childhood.

A weary sigh escaped Cagalli. "There's more to life than acquiring power, Kira. There's friendship. Family. Love. I know you believe in all that, or you wouldn't have bought me a new house on ORB. All I'm asking is that you start using that heart of yours a little more—and I meant really using it—before it withers away."

Kira couldn't resist teasing her. "Oh? What, now you want a new car too?"

She punched him in the shoulder. "I'm serious, Kira! I pray every night that you'll fall in love with some nice woman and marry her and start a family of your own."

"A…family of my own?" Images of 'family' flashed through his mind—his father working himself to death to keep them sheltered and fed, until one day he was accidentally killed because of a riot at the factory he was working. His mother merely died of a high fever as their family couldn't afford to go to a doctor or to get some medicines. Cagalli was just a nine-year-old kid, hungry and cold, depending on Kira for her very existence.

Start a family of his own? He might as well cut open his heart and let it bleed to death. "Don't waste your prayers, Cagalli," he murmured. "You're all the family I need."

Cagalli gave her twin brother a wistful and sad smile. "I know. But you also need friends, Kira. Real friends. Everyone from that rented house in Heliopolis cared about you long before you made your millions."

"I barely knew any of them."

"Of course you knew them!" Cagalli retorted. "In fact, for a while there, I thought that you and Lacus might—"

"I barely knew Lacus, either," Kira interjected her coolly.

It was the truth. Despite all the time she'd spent in his bed—stolen hours between her classes and his two jobs—he hadn't really known her. He hadn't known her favourite food, music or colours. He hadn't even known her hobbies, interests or views on life. He wasn't even sure if he'd known what courses she took. And he hadn't given any of those things a thought…until he'd left her far behind him. Kira swallowed a lump in his throat. He wasn't even sure if he really knew her at all.

He snickered inside; he and Lacus hadn't wasted much time on talking. Hadn't gone anywhere or done anything that didn't involve sex. They'd had done plenty of that. He hadn't been able to keep his hands off her. And she hadn't ever been able to say no. At least, not to him.

She'd been a virgin the first time he'd made love to her. Love…

A deep, sharp pang assailed him again, and he quickly walked away from Cagalli in search of a drink. A strong one.

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While he tried to at least enjoy the glass of champagne in his hand, out the corner of his eye, he detected a group move en masse towards the entrance. When a faint soft purely feminine voice reached his ears, Kira was immediately embraced with nostalgic force, causing his tension to grow. Her voice hadn't changed. In the days gone by, the mere murmur of it had filled him with a keen, sensual anticipation. He had responded every single time, regardless of where he was or whom he was with.

And through it all, Kira hadn't even caught a clear view of Lacus yet. The others clustered around her blocked her from his sight. The tension within him gradually rose to the level of frustration. He wanted to see her RIGHT NOW.

As if responding to his unvoiced impatience, the crowd slowly drifted off leaving Lacus standing alone at the middle…with a guy. And the guy is currently gazing at her like a love-struck fool.

She always had that effect on most men. She'd glowed with the kind of striking beauty that turned all gazes her way. Waist-length hair; a slender but voluptuous body; endless legs; smooth pale skin that would seem to bruise easily if touched. She'd been too damn beautiful to be real. But she had been real. She has always been real to him.

And so kind-hearted. And so…vulnerable too. He never should have let her move into the house in Heliopolis.

He struggled to keep his emotions under control. It would look very bad for him to go straight up to her, demanding her to tell him who was the guy she came with. But as soon as he takes another good look at her, desire ignited again in his core.

Her hair was a darker shade of cherry blossom now— cascading in thick, shiny waves to her waist, giving her a more seductive, elegant and mysterious look. She'd lost weight but he could still picture the voluptuous curves he remembered so well, even if he couldn't see much of them beneath her beautiful dress. Her heart-shaped face also looked slimmer, but with every graceful curve and hollow more pronounced. She wore no makeup, as far as he could tell. But that only made her look lovelier to him.

A major change, he thought. She'd always been glamour incarnate—wine-coloured lip-gloss; exotic, kohl-lined eyes. But right now, she looked very simple, a slim, attractive woman in her early twenties. Certainly no femme fatale. No living, breathing fantasy. The difference went deeper than her appearance, though. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he did. Something inside her had changed. Gone was the tangible sexuality that had glowed from her like a force field.

He stared at Lacus in both utter disappointment and acute relief. He kept his eyes on her as she invited the guy to sit with her. He dimly smiled as he saw her head tilted back as she laughed. The sound so beautiful, he had wanted to hear it again and again.

He poured more champagne into his glass. She most probably wouldn't want to see him any more than he wanted to see her. The memories between them were not all pleasant.

He decided to drink another glass of drink.

The sight of her still sends him reeling even after four years never seeing each other. No other woman's beauty had ever affected him quite the way as Lacus had. Four years apart would have brought about a lot of changes in her he was sure. After a fortifying swallow of champagne, he slowly ventured towards her.

She looked around the crowd, but did a startled double at him as soon as she spotted him walking toward her direction. Her conversations broke off. Her sensual lips slowly parted.

His eyes fixed on her lips. Gosh, how much he'd love kissing those lips of hers again. Never before had another a woman enslaved him so completely with just a simple kiss. He had never wanted anyone as badly as he'd wanted Lacus Clyne. Every day, every night; they'd made love whenever they'd found the chance. Until then, he still hadn't been able to get enough of her. It's a dangerous thing, that kind of sexual obsession.

He'd been so helplessly obsessed with Lacus. He knew that now. Cagalli and the others had always had the impression that Lacus was the one who couldn't keep herself away from him. But in reality, it was him that couldn't keep himself away from her.

Lacus didn't know, of course, the massive amount of effort it had cost him to breakaway from her. Even now, four years later, the mere simple thought about her would somehow always runs through his mind whenever he became aroused. What a damn nuisance at times.

Her gaze locked with Kira's as he approached her.

Everyone around them glanced their way, and a peculiar tension seemed to fill the room. He suddenly felt like the big, bad wolf, poised to pounce on his prey.

She looked soft, feminine and vulnerable. He wanted to take her into his arms right there and then. Kira couldn't quite summon a smile, but he managed a nod. "Lacus."

A faint flush rose in her cheeks. "Ki…Kira."

"Good to see you again." He politely extended his hand, more out of habit than anything.

She glanced at it. After a tense pause, she slowly extended hers. "Good to see you, too."

He shook her hand but her hesitation had thrown him completely. Logically, he understood why she might hold a grudge and hesitate to acknowledge him. Logically, he knew he deserved it. On some other level, though, he reeled from the blow. She had never resisted touching him before. Physical contact between them had always been as easy as the air they'd breathed.

His sense of loss stunned him. How could he feel a loss now when he hadn't seen her in four years? Hadn't even touched her in all that time. Or held her…not even once.

The feel of her hand clasped in his helped Kira regain his equilibrium. She had, after all, only hesitated to shake his hand. She hadn't refused. Her palm settled against his in a warm, cozy fit. Her skin felt pleasingly soft and petal-smooth; her grip firm and responsive.

The contrasts had always stirred him, he remembered: her soft femininity, her surprising strength. Her occasional shyness…her inclination for sensual indulgence. Slow, savouring indulgence, at that…

Memories swamped him, and he involuntarily tightened his grip. He would start right at her tender nape, he would press his mouth there—swirl his tongue just beneath her hairline, then slowly around to her ear, until a groan of approval and pleasure escape her throat … and her back arched … and her hips moved against him…

Her hand still clasped with his, and he could feel her pulse accelerate to a strong, vibrant rhythm. Ah, how could he forget? He remembered that rhythm. His body remembered.

But Kira could see the increasing uneasiness displayed in Lacus's eyes.

He couldn't help a small, rueful smile. Lacus had definitely changed … and in a profoundly disturbing way.

He wondered how deep that change went. He wondered what a man would have to do to find out.

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~ I wish that I could hold you now... I wish that I could touch you now... I wish that I could talk to you... be with you somehow.

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A/N : First of all, I'd like to thank IgNighted for beta-reading this. The title for this was also his/her idea. You did a great job! With his/her support, I was able to post this. (^_^) (I'm just too lazy to check for grammar errors…)

However, after re-reading the whole thing all over again I eventually come to a conclusion….this interlude piece reminds me of Edward & Bella. It's too sappy and cliché, but it had to be done. I dislike Twilight, it's total BS. On the bright side, this interlude also made me want to write a new Athrun/Lacus fic. A fantasy/medieval kind. I think I watch too much of Game of Thrones and LOTR. Plus, I'm still waiting for the Black Rose to update her fic By Candlelight….

Where have all the AxL writers gone….?

Anyway, enjoy this interlude fic.