A/N: Thank you all so much for all your support, I really appreciate it and it keeps me motivated.
Also congrats to Hemo and Taylor on their beautiful baby boy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.
Chapter eight
Mrs Pierce walked steadily from the kitchen to the living room trying not to spill the hot chocolate she was carrying. She placed the mug down carefully on the coffee table in front her sniffling daughter who was curled up on the couch under a blanket.
Brittany sat up slowly, her blanket still wrapped around her but didn't pick up the hot drink. She didn't feel like anything, she just felt sad, really sad.
The older woman took a seat next to her snuffling daughter in her now seemingly lonely apartment.
Mrs Pierce had arrived in a panic, she had never heard her daughter sound as distraught as she had on the phone, and she knew something was terribly wrong.
When she arrived at Brittany's she had let herself in with the spare key she had been given and found the usually bubbly blonde curled up on the couch crying, her eyes were blood shot, her cheeks red and tear stained. It took half an hour before Mrs Pierce could calm her.
"I know you're hurting Hun, but do you want to tell me what exactly happened?" The older woman asked softly. "Why did Hannah move out?"
Brittany sighed deeply and her bottom lip began to tremble as she fought back more tears. She brought her feet up on the couch so that she could hug her knees for comfort. "I cheated." Brittany breathed in whisper. She felt so broken and she could only blame herself.
"Oh Britt," Her Mother cooed and shifted on the couch so she could wrap her arms around her distressed daughter. She was disappointed that her daughter had cheated on Hannah but she knew Brittany, and Brittany was filled with love and kindness, she wasn't the type to hook up with someone if it didn't mean anything but still that was no excuse.
"I know," Brittany croaked as she began to choke back sobs again. "The strange thing is, I don't regret it" She sniffed. "I regret hurting Hannah, I regret ruining our relationship, but I don't regret spending time with this other person, kissing this other person."
Her mother nodded and comfortingly rubbed Brittany's arm up and down. "Does this other person feel the same way?"
Brittany sighed and rested her head on her mom's shoulder. "I don't know, I think so. There are so many reasons why I shouldn't even go there though."
"There are more reasons why you should though aren't there?" Her mother said knowingly.
Brittany thought for a moment. Santana was much younger than her, she wasn't 'out' yet, they had both just been in long term relationships and she was kind of Brittany's student. They were very real reasons why she shouldn't be thinking about spending more time with the Latina. Brittany let out a sigh, they were reasons why kissing Santana had been a bad idea but she had to admit the good definitely outweighed the bad. She thought about the way Santana made her feel, appreciated, talented, special. One look from Santana and Brittany felt brave enough to concur anything. She remembered how they could just sit in a comfortable silence or talk for hours about anything and how they shared similar interests. She remembered the feel of Santana's lips on hers, soft, sweet, yet powerful. It was like the whole world stopped spinning and their kiss was the only thing happening in the entire universe. She remembered the tingles from a single touch, the butterflies just hearing the younger girl's name. She remembered the moments where they just stared into one another's eyes and seemed to share some other level of connection than she had with anyone else. That's what it was, a deep connection, a link she had been missing for years, a bond that was quickly but strongly built. When she was with the Latina none of the negatives mattered. She made Brittany smile for no reason, they could be silly together, and she was genuine. The pull she felt towards Santana, not only physically but also emotionally and somewhat spiritually was nothing like any of her past relationships, even Hannah who she had thought was the love of her life, 'the one'. There were so many reasons why she wanted to continue getting to know Santana, she's pretty sure she could die happy just being near the girl. "Yeah, I think I just need to sort all of this Hannah stuff out before I start thinking about anything else. I don't want to be the old Brittany again, the one who jumped from person to person or relationship to relationship."
"I think that's a good idea." Her mother smiled proudly at her daughter's newly found maturity.
They stayed cuddled up on the sofa until it was time for Brittany's mother to leave because she had to get up early for work the next morning.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay over?"
Brittany shook her head. "I'm ok."
They hugged goodbye and Brittany shut the door behind the older woman. She turned around to face her apartment, it was going to take some time getting used to living alone, it felt empty, lonely and it didn't have the homey feel it did when Hannah lived there too. She sighed and walked to her bedroom, she got under the covers and tried not to think about how she now had to sleep alone.
It was Tuesday, the day of Sectionals. Santana was excited because she hadn't seen Brittany since their jog Sunday afternoon. Santana was sure Monday had been the longest day of her life, it went so slowly because she was so keen to see the tall blonde the next day.
She walked up the aisle to the back of the bus that was going to take them to this year's sectionals venue, which was at their rival school, Dalton academy. An all-boys boarding school where Blaine had transferred from. The show choir there were called the Warblers, they were good but Santana was sure the New Directions could beat them.
She took a seat up the back of the bus, where Quinn, Sam, Finn and Puck were sitting. She squeezed in between Sam and Quinn, she didn't understand why the back seat was so cool. Yeah you could get away with stuff without the teacher seeing and fit more people along it, but she wondered if it was really worth being mashed up against her friends, probably not… and yet here she was once again.
She watched the other glee kids board the bus and wondered if Brittany was going to meet them at the venue or if she'd be riding with the club. Once Artie had been specially lifted into the bus with some kind of special bus contraption, it was time to leave. Santana's heart sank because she was now certain Brittany wasn't going to be joining them. The bus engine started just as a tall blonde rushed onto the steps, her camera hanging around her neck as she greeting the driver. Santana's heart was racing and she almost let out a thrilled squeak when she saw the woman she had been waiting for. The smile that was appearing on her lips didn't last long before it turned into a worried frown. Although Santana's heart was beating as though it thought it had just run 5 mile and she was overly excited to see the choreographer, she noticed that Brittany's normally bright eyes seemed dull and sad. She looked like she hadn't slept and her usual energised, happy, wide smile had been replaced with a half-hearted, tight lipped, forced-looking grin. Brittany took a seat in the middle of the bus not even looking in Santana's direction.
Santana spent nearly the whole bus trip to Dalton staring at the back of Brittany's head. She wanted to go and sit with the choreographer, ask her what was wrong, maybe even hug her but she was sure, even if she built up the courage to do so, she wouldn't be able to escaped being wedged between Sam and Quinn. The bus ride seemed long and Santana could feel the bruises forming from Quinn's bony hips digging into her own and Sam's elbow pinning her to the seat. She didn't listen to any of the conversation she just watched Brittany the whole time, happy, bubbly Brittany was now sad, quiet Brittany. The blonde stared out the window for most of the trip, occasionally speaking when she was spoken to but she was definitely not her usual self.
They finally arrived at Dalton academy and Brittany was one of the first off the bus, Santana dug her elbows into both Sam and Quinn so she could be first out of the seat and try and catch up with the gloomy looking blonde.
"Ouch." Sam mumbled.
"Santana!" Quinn growled.
But the Latina was already walking swiftly down the aisle to even apologise, (not that she would anyway.)
Once she was off the bus, she did an awkward walk/run until she caught up to Brittany who was about to enter the building.
"Hey," She said in a stressed tone.
"Oh, hi San." Brittany said casually as she open the front door of the school. They walked into the lobby and waited for Mr Schue or Blaine to show them where to go next.
"Is something wrong?" Santana whispered as more of their club piled into the small area.
Brittany's eyes flickered around the other students. "I'll tell you later." She whispered back and followed Mr Schue as he led them further into the school.
Santana dropped her shoulders. It seemed like Brittany couldn't get away from her fast enough, she wondered if maybe Hannah had told her to stay away from the person she kissed. Well this sucks, Santana thought to herself as she followed her peers.
They entered the auditorium. It was much larger than the one at McKinley and there were already a lot of audience members filling the seats.
"Ok guys, this is where we're going to watch the other show choirs perform." Mr Schue said pointing to an empty row of seat. "But I'll take you to your dressing room now so you can get into your costumes and get ready."
The group were about to leave when they heard a squeal.
"Oh my God!" Brittany yelled leaping onto some guy.
"He's cute!" Mercedes said from beside Santana who was already sporting a jealous scowl.
"So cute!" Tina said agreeing with Mercedes.
"It so good to see you, I've missed you!" Brittany laughed as he lifted her up and spun her around. Santana crossed her arms over her chest. Brittany's real smile had returned to her face and Santana felt jealous that she wasn't the one to bring it back out from hiding. She was also jealous at the fact tall gorgeous Brittany was cuddling up to some tall handsome guy… Was Brittany cheating on Hannah with more than just her? She scoffed and went to walk away when Rachel's question caught her attention.
"Oh, is this your boyfriend Brittany?" The small diva asked. Santana made note that Brittany was clinging to the guys arm… they've definitely done it.
The young man laughed "No, just a friend." He held out his hand for Rachel to shake. "I'm Sebastian and definitely gay." Rachel smiled and nodded and Santana felt relieved.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" Blaine asked out of nowhere earning a glare from Kurt.
"Why? Are you interested clown face?" Santana smirked.
Blaine looked around the group embarrassed. "No I was just making conversation."
Sebastian laughed. "No I'm in a relationship. My boyfriend, Adam is currently studying at Nyada – New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts."
This earned a squeak from Kurt, Blaine and Rachel. "He, he's at Nyada?" Rachel asked stepping closer to the guy.
"Yeah, great school. He started a glee club there actually, it's called the Adams Apples."
"Rachel and I are applying this year." Kurt said rather cockily.
"Cool." Sebastian smiled which made his eyes light up. Santana had to admit he was hot.
"Why are you here?" Brittany asked getting Sebastian's attention back from the group of students.
"I used to go to Dalton and-"
"No way me too." Blaine interjected enthusiastically, which earned another scowl from Kurt.
"And," he continued and smiled at Blaine to acknowledge he wasn't ignoring him. "My brother goes here now."
"So if he's not you boyfriend. Are you single Brittany?" Puck asked causing everyone to roll their eyes.
Sebastian laughed again. "Nope, sorry she's happily taken."
Brittany's face fell at the comment and her eyes landed on Santana. The Latina gave her a small, awkward smile which wasn't returned.
"… Actually" Brittany said looking away from Santana and down at her own shoes as she dragged her foot along the carpet. "I am single." She said quietly. Santana stared at her in shock. While Artie and Puck hi-fived. She and Hannah had broken up?
"What!" Sebastian asked incredulously. "Why didn't you call me?"
Brittany was about to answer when Mr Schue returned from filling out some last minute paper work. "Come on guys or we'll be late."
The group began to leave but Santana stayed where she was, she was frozen. She didn't know whether to feel bad for Brittany or whether to cheer and jump up and down. Brittany and Sebastian were talking quietly to one another when Brittany noticed the younger girl still standing there. She nodded her head in the direction of the door and gave a forced smile, Santana knew it was forced because her real smiles would brighten the room and make her eyes twinkle. "Go get ready Santana." She said, her voice was shaky and her eyes pleading. Santana frowned but did as she was told. She didn't want to cause Brittany any more trouble than she already had.
Santana walked into the changing rooms, her mind was all over the place. Brittany is single, Brittany is single, she said in her head trying to let it sink in. She got changed into her white suit jacket and black pants in the bathroom and then started applying stage makeup in the dressing room where everyone else was getting ready.
She saw him approaching from behind in the mirror and was half way through an eye roll before he even spoke. "I thought since you and Finn were over, you'd be back for more?"
"Shut up Puck." Santana hissed at his reflection.
"You what?" Finn asked standing up from his seat next to Rachel. "
"Forget it." Puck shrugged as he started to walk away.
Santana closed her eyes hoping somehow it would take her away from what she knew was about to happen.
"You and Santana slept together?" There it was, the moment she'd been avoiding.
"Look dude, it was only once."
"When?" Finn said raising his voice and getting the rest of the clubs attention. Santana heard the door creak, she opened her eyes to see who else had come to see the show and discover what a horrible person she was.
"Shit." Santana whispered to herself when she realised it was Brittany entering the room.
"I don't know it was a while ago." Puck said putting a hand to Finn chest to stop him coming closer. "She just showed up at my house and begged for it. Not that I blame her."
Santana sunk in her chair. "Oh my God." She muttered. Could he have made her sound any more desperate? She felt like running away or crying or maybe building a time machine. She didn't dare make eye contact with anyone, especially not Brittany.
"Were we together?" He asked Santana. The tension in the room was thick and everyone was silent and staring at the three of them.
"It doesn't matter, we're broken up." Santana said desperately trying to make this go away. "I'm pretty sure you're with Rachel now so it doesn't matter."
"It matters to me Santana," he said in a frustrated tone. "Were. We. Together?" He asked clearly like she hadn't understood what he was asking the first time."
Santana felt tears wanting to well in her eyes but she didn't let them. "…yes." She said in a jagged whisper. Her voice giving away the fact she was on the verge of crying. Her answer caused a few gasps from the on lookers, it also caused Finn to take a swing at Puck. Luckily Puck ducked and Sam and Mike were able to hold a very mad Finn back.
While everyone was focussed on the boys Santana picked up her bag and slipped away into the bathroom, locking the door so no one could see her cry.
Brittany watched as the club was seemingly falling apart right before competition. She watched as Santana rushed to the bathroom. Quinn was about to follow but Brittany told her that she'd take care of it while Quinn should finish getting ready.
Brittany knocked on the bathroom door. "Santana, its Brittany. Can I come in?"
Santana tried not to cry, the few tears she'd let escape had already smudged her make-up. Why did Brittany always find her crying in a bathroom? She walked to the door and unlocked it. She let Brittany in because she wanted to explain to the blonde. She locked the door again after Brittany had slipped in.
Santana turned her back to mirrors and leaned against the bathroom counter crossing her arms over her chest.
"Why do we always end up in some random bathroom?" Brittany giggled.
Santana let a smile spread on her lips, she was surprised Brittany seemed to be back to her old self. "I was just thinking the same thing."
Brittany stepped next to Santana and pulled herself up onto the counter top. The two stayed silent for a couple of minutes, there was so much they both wanted to say and so much they both wanted to ask.
"You look hot in a suit." Brittany smirked.
"Brittany." Santana sighed, she knew the choreographer was deflecting but still her insides bubbled with excitement at Brittany's comment.
"You seem to have a thing for cheating." Brittany joked.
"It's not like that." Santana snapped causing them to fall into another silence.
"So you and Puck?" Brittany finally asked.
Santana's shoulders slumped and she leaned more of her weight into the counter. "It's not something I'm proud of." Brittany placed a hand on Santana's shoulder as she continued. "I thought there was something wrong with me, I felt like I couldn't love, I felt numb and I just want to see if I could feel something, anything." Santana's eyes were filled with tears.
"Come here." Brittany said pulling the girl in front of her.
It was like they had swapped positions from when they were in Rachel's bathroom. Brittany was now the one sitting on the counter top and Santana was now the one standing in between the blonde's legs resting her hands on the dancer's muscly thighs. Except Santana was still the one crying.
Brittany dabbed Santana's eyes with paper towel soaking up the tears. The Latina's breath hitched at the tender contact. Was it possible to be upset and turned on at the same time? Brittany took the eyeliner off the counter and began re-applying it to Santana's lids. Santana's heart swelled at the act. It was close, intimate, applying someone else's make up while they stood between their legs was something best friends did… or girlfriends. The temptation to kiss the choreographer was always there but even more so with their close proximity.
"You and Hannah broke up?" Santana asked while Brittany was darkening Santana's eye line with the pencil.
"Uh huh." She said with concentration written on her face. Santana loved the feel of Brittany this close to her, touching her gently with caution. Her soft hands using Santana's cheek for stability as she lined her eyes.
"Why?" She asked.
"Because I cheated." Brittany replied.
"With me?"
"Yes with you." Brittany said like it was the most ludicrous thing to ask but hey, she was just making sure.
I'm sorry." Santana sighed.
"Are you?" Brittany stopped applying the eyeliner to hear Santana's answer.
"No, not really." Santana said quietly looking into kind blue eyes staring back at her. "I'm sorry you're sad though."
"Thanks, it helped seeing Sebastian today… and you."
Santana blushed. Why did this woman always bring out her vulnerable side? Brittany put the eye liner back in Santana's make-up bag and pulled out her mascara.
"How do you know Sebastian?" Santana asked curiously and maybe a little jealously.
"We've been in dance classes since we were young, he's been a great friend." Brittany smiled fondly putting the lid back on the mascara and moving onto the foundation.
Santana smiled. She imagined a cute mini Brittany learning to dance and it made her heart melt.
"There! All done." Brittany said looking proud of herself. Sebastian had given her a pep talk which had put her in much brighter spirits, it was also really hard to be miserable when she was around Santana.
Santana looked around Brittany so she could see her reflection in the mirror, she kept her hands on Brittany's thighs though because she loved the feeling of being able to touch the choreographer. She knew why Brittany looked pleased with herself, she looked hot... well even hotter than she normally did.
There was a knock at the door. The Latina's reaction was to quickly jump away from the blonde.
"Santana the boys are gone now, you can come out." Quinn said.
"Come out." Brittany whispered and tried to contain a giggle.
"Shut up." Santana smirked. "God, I don't want to go out there." She groned.
Brittany hopped off the bench. "It'll be ok Santana, we have to face up to the mistakes we've made and hope that one day we'll be forgiven. You have to remember things do get better."
Santana nodded, she felt Brittany was also reminding herself about her own situation with Hannah. She took a deep breath and opened the door.
"You ok?" Quinn whispered, waiting on the other side of the door, so no one would hear she actually had a heart.
"Yeah."
"I can't believe you cheated on Finn." Her tone changed from concerned to annoyed in a matter of seconds. "What were you thinking?" Quinn said angrily. Well there goes her caring side.
"Let's just concentrate on kicking butt for now, shall we?" Brittany said as she walked passed.
Santana grinned and nodded while Quinn let out an exasperated sigh and walked out of the change rooms.
They were seated in the audience of the auditorium. The other teams were good, like really good and Santana was definitely feeling the nerves. Brittany was sat a couple of rows over with Sebastian and that made Santana's stomach flip. She didn't know if she could perform while Brittany was watching, she wanted to make the blonde proud and that added pressure was not helping the anxiety she was feeling.
The club got out of their seats, it was their turn to perform. Santana let out a shaky breath as she made her way back stage. She didn't talk to any of the other members of the club, half of them were mad at her and the other half were scared she'd snap at them if they said anything.
Santana was standing behind the curtain with the rest of the New Directions, she was so nervous she felt sick. Sure, she'd been doing this for a couple of years now but she just couldn't shake the slight, initial stage fright.
She was trying to control her breathing and shaking the nerves from her hands when she felt two soft, warm hands on her shoulders. Hot breath and a sweet voice next to her left ear gave her chills (the good kind.) The nerves she already had in her stomach turned to giddy butterflies.
"Good luck out there." The voice whispered. Santana shut her eyes and revelled in the sound. "All that hard work has paid off, now all you have to do is show it off and have fun." Santana smiled but it quickly turned into a frown when she felt those smooth hands slide off her. When she opened her eyes she was met with the kindest sparkling blues.
"Thanks Britt." She grinned. Brittany gave her one of those heart attack causing winks and skipped off to the wings of the stage. Santana's eyes followed the choreographer until she was out of sight. She was still sporting a massive grin.
"What was that?" Quinn 'mood killer' Fabray asked.
"What was what?" Santana played dumb.
"She was almost hugging you from behind."
"What? no she wasn't," Santana said defensively and shifted uncomfortably on her feet. "She knew I was nervous and came to say good luck."
"So you guys are buddies?" Quinn narrowed her eyes.
"Who even says buddies?" Santana scoffed. "But yeah I guess we are. We're friends."
Quinn was about say something when they were called into their positions. Close one, Santana thought to herself. She and Brittany really needed to be more careful.
She looked into the wings and noticed Brittany was standing there with a proud grin on her face. God she was cute! Santana smiled back when the choreographer gave her an excited thumbs up.
The curtain began to rise. This was it, hopefully the start of their journey to Nationals.
