Chapter Eleven

Santana and Sebastian were standing outside the x-ray room at the Lima hospital. The walls were plain and white except for a dull looking painting hanging on the wall, opposite Santana, of a lighthouse overcast by a stormy sky. Santana couldn't help but stare at the picture in the dark wooden frame, it reflected her mood, the uncertainty, the gloom, those clouds hung over the light house like the feeling of guilt and anxiety hung over her head and rested heavily on her shoulders. She didn't think it should be the kind of painting they should hang in a hospital, it should be upbeat, something that emits hope and positivity, not a glum painting that reminds patients of their own misery.

Although it was 4:30am, it was noisy. Nurses were rushing around making jokes or idle conversation as they passed one another, machines were beeping and there was an elderly man groaning in pain nearby.

Santana felt scared, this was all too much. She had only been Brittany's girlfriend for a few hours and she felt way in over her head. She felt claustrophobic as if she was trapped in a cage with all her fears. Had they rushed into this relationship? Definitely. She'd never been with a girl before, she sucked at relationships, and she'd already screwed up by not taking better care of the blonde.

She wasn't ready. She wasn't ready for any of it.

"What's taking them so long?" Santana asked, impatiently crossing her arms and tapping her foot.

"They're taking her for an x-ray, it takes a more than a couple of seconds." Sebastian retorted as he leaned back against the wall.

Santana shot him a glare, she didn't think she had ever felt this anxious and she really didn't appreciate Sebastian's attitude.

"What will happen if it's bad?" Santana rasped, her words almost getting stuck in her throat.

"Then she probably won't be able to go on tour… maybe ever again." He said regretfully. "Someone should have been keeping an eye on her."

Santana looked to the ground, she was watching Brittany, and instead of making sure the blonde didn't hurt herself, she was too busy envisioning what it meant to have a girlfriend, to have Brittany as her girlfriend. She still couldn't believe Brittany agreed or that she had the nerve to actually ask. She wanted to take things slowly but this was not slow, this was everything happening too quickly. Santana took a deep breath and tried to focus on what was important, Brittany, she hoped that it was just something minor like a rolled ankle or a bruise but she had a bad feeling about it. Was this her fault? She should have taken better care of Brittany, was the blonde going to blame her like Sebastian obviously did?

The x-ray room door opened and a male nurse pushed a groggy Brittany along in a wheel chair. Brittany had sobered up a little since they had arrived but she was tired and kept trying to sleep whenever she had the chance. They followed the two down corridors and back to the E.R. where they placed her back in her temporary bed cot.

Brittany slept soundly, they had attached an intravenous drip with fluid so she wouldn't wake up with a hangover. Santana sat in the chair next to the blonde's bed, Sebastian waited anxiously by the curtains that separated the bed from the rush of the rest of the room. Santana felt exhausted but even if she tried she didn't think she would be able to sleep. Brittany looked so peaceful and innocent, she had no idea what was happening or how it may affect her future because she had been drifting in and out of an intoxicated sleep since arriving. Both Sebastian and Santana stayed silent for the next half an hour until a strict looking nurse, with short grey hair and cold hazel eyes came with the dancers x-ray results.

"We're going to have to wake her now." The nurse said in a snooty tone. "Are either of you family."

"Uh… no." Sebastian said his voice cracked because he had hardly spoken since they arrived.

"I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to step outside, while a doctor comes to discuss the extent of her injury with her." She said to Santana. She then turned to Sebastian. "Her Partner can stay."

Santana's felt her heart sink, normally she would've been angry at the fact she was dismissed so easily, she would tell the nurse exactly who she was to the patient, but not this time. She couldn't bring herself to admit she was Brittany's 'partner'. She was more frustrated with herself than with the older woman. She thought she was ready to slowly come out of the closet but here she was too scared to even say it out loud to a stranger, a stranger who was telling her to leave.

She wasn't ready.

"I'm, er… I'm not her partner." Sebastian said looking at Santana like he expected her to speak up. Did he know about her and Brittany? Even though Sebastian was also gay and she knew he wouldn't judge her, she felt the anxiety creep up her chest making it hard to breathe. Did Brittany say something to him? They had only been official for a couple of hours. Would he tell other people? For some reason Santana felt very strongly about being the one to tell people, she felt the need to be in control of who knew her secret.

But she wasn't ready.

"Well I'll have to ask you both to step out." The nurse shrugged.

"Tell her." Sebastian hissed as they left the curtain made room.

"You know?"

"Of course I do, Britt won't shut up about you and the way you two kept staring at each other, ugh so gross."

Santana blushed. "So she didn't tell you?"

"Nope, I've known her for a long time, she didn't have to." He said. His face lost expression as he continued. "Now, she's going to need someone in there with her if its bad news. I could have lied and said I was her boyfriend but I thought you were going to support her."

This was something a girlfriend of years would do, not hours.

She wasn't ready.

"I'm not out… I couldn't… I shouldn't be here." Santana whispered shamefully back.

"Well you are here and you're going to have to. I think it should be me in there, I'm her best friend and have known her a hell of a lot longer than you but I stupidly thought you would be there for her. So now you have to step the fuck up." His tone was firm and angry but Santana didn't blame him. She had let, not only herself down, but Brittany and Sebastian too.

"I don't know if I can." Santana felt tears pricking the back of her eyes trying to force their way out.

"Britt said you had balls, that you were a hard ass." He scoffed. "I guess she had you wrong."

Santana looked into his challenging green eyes and nodded. He was daring her, she felt it and she felt stronger for it. No matter how scared she was, Santana Lopez never backed down from a dare.

She turned around and peeled back the curtain, she saw the nurse gently waking Brittany.

"I'm sorry, you can't be in here." The older woman said in her firm tone.

She was ready… She had to be.

"I uh…" Santana glanced behind her to Sebastian who gave her an encouraging nod. "I uh, can."

"Excuse me?" the woman said. Brittany groaned as she awoke from her sleep.

"You said before Brittany's partner could stay right?" She sounded more assertive and determined than she felt. The anxiety was building but Brittany needed support and she wanted to be that support even though it scared her like nothing she'd felt before. She put her doubts aside and hesitantly continued. "I'm her…girlfriend." She managed to splutter out. Her cheeks reddened and she waited for the older woman's disapproving reaction but it never came.

"Why didn't you say so?" She said casually and checked Brittany's chart at the end of her bed.

"San…" Brittany mumbled.

Santana's demeanour softened at the sound of the blonde's voice, the ill feeling in her stomach subsided. "Hey you," She smiled and walked to the side of the dancers bed. Brittany reached for her hand and Santana took it in her own. Everything felt better when she was around the blonde. Her worries seemed to disappear.

"Girlfriend, huh?" Brittany smirked tiredly.

Santana sighed and let her fears go. She was here for Brittany. "Yep, no backing out now." Santana winked and stroked her thumb over Brittany's hand leaving a trail of tingles.

"What happened?" Brittany asked sitting up a little. Santana was about explain when the nurse came to the opposite side of Brittany's bed.

"You jumped of a couch and hurt your foot." The nurse said more kindly than Santana had heard her all night. "We took you for an x-ray and Doctor Davis will be here shortly to give you the results."

Santana felt Brittany's hand clamp around hers firmer, she looked scared and confused and Santana just wanted to hug her and not hear what the nurse had to say.

The nurse walked over to what looked like a white board and flicked a switch that lit it up. She snapped two x-rays of Brittany's foot onto the board. A tall, older man with salt and pepper hair in a white coat, entered from behind the drawn curtain. He greeted both Brittany and Santana, before taking a look at the x-rays hanging from the board.

"As you can see," Doctor Davis said pointing at a bone in Brittany's foot. "You have a fracture along your 5th metatarsal."

"A dancer's fracture?" Brittany asked quietly, the blood draining from her face.

"Yes that's exactly what it is." The doctor said impressed that Brittany seemed to know what he was talking about.

"Treatment can take months." The dancer said in a panicked tone, her breathing was becoming uneven. Santana squeezed her hand, she had never seen Brittany like this.

"Unfortunately yes. We'll set you up with a walking boot and some crutches for the first few weeks. It's best to keep off the foot though." Doctor Davis pulled the x-rays down as he explained. "Once the swelling has gone down and the fracture is beginning to heal you'll be able to begin walking with the boot. Usually after around six to eight weeks we can take the boot off and put you in a supportive shoe." He smiled and put the images in a cream folder.

"I don't have six weeks." Brittany yelped, tears were appearing in her eyes. "I'm supposed to be going on tour, I'm a dancer."

"I'm sorry Brittany," The doctor said firmly. "But after the six to eight weeks you'll most likely need physio to rebuild strength in the foot and ankle. I'm afraid you won't be able to dance for some time."

By now Brittany had tears running down her cheeks, her once bright eyes reminded Santana of the lighthouse painting on the wall not far down the hall. Void of hope, of happiness, of everything that seemed to encompass the Brittany she fell for. Brittany's eyes gave away how broken she felt on the inside and Santana couldn't bare it.

"Look surely there's something you can do?" Santana snapped at the doctor. "Dancers hurt themselves all the time, don't you have some quick way to fix them?"

"This is the best way." He said calmly looking between both girls. "If Brittany continues to dance on her foot, dance through the pain like a lot of dancers do, there is a likely chance that there will be complete displacement of the fracture fragments. This means she will most likely have to have surgery, where we will reposition the fragments and stabilize them with a screw. If this happens Brittany may never be able to dance professionally again. Waiting for the fracture to heal will guarantee the best outcome and enable Brittany to pursue her dance career in the future."

Santana looked to Brittany, who had slumped into the bed.

"I need my phone." She stated with no emotion in her voice. "I need to call my dance company so they can find a replacement."

Sebastian stepped inside the curtain. "I can take care of that Britt. Its five thirty, you should get some more sleep."

Brittany didn't even signal that she had heard him. She just rolled onto her side away from the visitors in the room.

"Are you going to stay?" Sebastian asked Santana knowing full well she wanted to bail.

"Yes." She replied and took the seat next to the bed.

"I'll go back to her apartment and sort out everything, make a few calls." He said.


Santana awoke to a nurse helping Brittany into a wheel chair. She stretched her neck and winced at how stiff it was from sleeping weirdly on a chair.

"Where are you taking her?" She croaked in her always awkward, manly morning voice.

"They've got a bed for me." Brittany said not looking Santana in the eyes. "They're keeping me for another night." Santana nodded and grabbed her things and Brittany's car keys. She followed the depressed looking blonde and the young nurse down a few corridors and into a room which three other female patients shared. The nurse put the brake on the wheelchair and let Brittany wrap an arm around her shoulders so she could slide into the bed and lay down. Once in the nurse had tucked Brittany in and said goodbye she drew the curtain around the bed, dividing Brittany from the other patients in the room.

Santana silently took a seat in the chair next to the bed like she had done several times in the E.R.

"You can go if you want." Brittany said staring at the ceiling.

"It's ok." Santana whispered back unsure of how to react.

"Your parents think you're at Quinn's, you should go."

"Britt," Santana sighed preparing to give a speech on how she wouldn't leave the blonde.

"I'll be fine and I kind of just want to be alone for a while." Brittany said in the same emotionless voice.

Santana nodded even though Brittany couldn't see her. She stood up. "I'll call Quinn to pick me up."

She stepped outside to make the call, while Brittany continued to stare at the ceiling.

"When should I come back?" She asked as she re-entered the room.

"It's fine Santana, I'll get Seb to take me home tomorrow."

Santana frowned as much as she was freaked out about being the main support for Brittany she didn't want to leave her. "Britt," she whispered moving closer to the bed. "Please don't push me away."

"Just go." She sighed back.

Santana nodded to herself this time. She left the room and found her way to the parking lot outside the hospital where Quinn was supposed to pick her up. She felt awful for leaving but she didn't know what else to do other than respect Brittany's wishes. The cold air felt refreshing as she waited, it not only woke her up from her exhaustion but it made her feel like she could breathe again.

Fifteen minutes passed and Santana was still standing in her dress and boots in the freezing parking lot when Quinn arrived.

She opened the passenger side door. "Where's Sam?" The Latina asked.

"He went home." Quinn shrugged like that wasn't what she wanted to talk about. "What Happened? Why are you at the Hospital? Are you ok?" She asked worriedly. Santana was flattered that Quinn actually cared.

"I'm fine. Brittany fell and broke her foot." Santana said closing the door and putting her seat belt on.

"And you stayed the whole night with her?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah I drove her in her car here. So I couldn't exactly leave." Santana said looking out the window to avoid eye contact.

"Mhm." Quinn said unconvinced.

They arrived at Santana's house after a short drive.

"Hey, can I come in?" Quinn asked pulling into the Lopez drive way and slowing to a stop. "My Mom has a new boyfriend and I really don't want to hang around with them all day."

"Sure," Santana smiled.

The two walked into the house.

"You're back early," Mr Lopez said kissing his daughter on the cheek. "I have to go to work, your mother did too but I hope you girls had a good night."

"Thanks Dad we did." Santana said.

The two girls walked to the living room and slumped on the couch.

"How was your night?" Santana asked as she unzipped her boots to take them off.

"Sam played games on his phone for most of the night, we pecked at the midnight and then went straight to bed… basically the most boring, unromantic evening ever." She sighed audibly. "How was yours?"

"Good." Santana shrugged.

"Really? That's all I get?"

"It was just a party, nothing to tell." Santana lied.

"So how did Brittany and you become friends?" Quinn asked, taking a different angle to try and pry information from the Latina.

"I don't know we just did." Santana shifted uncomfortably. "Are you thirsty? Do you need a drink? Because I do." Santana got up quickly even though she was exhausted from only getting an hour and a half of sleep. She didn't want to lie Quinn so she decided changing the subject was the way to go.


Sebastian entered Brittany's hospital room.

"Ok," he said ignoring the fact that Brittany was trying to watch her favourite cartoons on the small television that hung from the roof above her bed. "I've called your parents, they'll be over later this afternoon." Brittany groaned at the thought of having her parents fuss over her and remind her that she wasn't going on tour. "Also, a girls been contacted and has agreed to be your replacement on Ke$ha's tour." He said hesitantly. "I'm so sorry Britt."

"What am I going to do Seb."

"Hey," He comforted as he took a seat next to her bed. "There are plenty of opportunities out there after your foot heals."

"I know but as well as looking forward to it, I kind of really needed that job." She said sitting up a little and turning off her T.V. "I've been living off my savings and have burnt a hole right through them. I needed the money, especially now." She pointed to her foot and sighed sadly.

Sebastian nodded in understanding. "We'll find you something, I promise." He pulled out Brittany's phone from his pocket and sat it on the portable table. "Brought you this."

"Tina," A woman said running into the room and straight to the woman in the bed next to Brittany. "The photographer cancelled!" She practically yelled. "My wedding is in three weeks and now my bridesmaid is in hospital and I have no photographer."

"Calm down Jackie," The woman who was obviously Tina said. "I'll be out by then and just look online for an ad or something."

Brittany was about to turn her cartoons back on to drown out the sound of their conversation when she saw the glint in Sebastian's eyes. She scrunched her brow in confusion.

"What's that look?" She asked. "What are you up to?"

He stood up, gave Brittany a cheeky wink and walked to the Tina's bed. "I'm sorry," He interrupted. "I couldn't help but overhear, you need a photographer right?"

Suddenly Brittany realised what her was doing. "Sebastian," she hissed. "Don't." But it was too late he had already given his 'I know a great photographer' sales pitch.

"We'd have to see some of your work first." Jackie said to Brittany who was internally panicking. She'd never photographed a wedding or been paid to take photos. She didn't really want to either.

"Terrific." Sebastian said clapping his hand together. "We can arrange that."

Brittany sighed and rolled over. She was grateful for Sebastian's help but she just wished she was still going on tour, that she didn't hurt her foot.

Her phone buzzed on the table.

From Santana 'best dance student ever' Lopez: Hope you're ok. Thinking of you and missing you xxx

Brittany took a deep breath and read the message over a few more times, taking in every word. A slight smile appeared on her face, the first all day. She felt bad for not wanting Santana around at the moment but they had rushed into everything so much like she had with Hannah, she definitely didn't want a repeat of that relationship and she didn't want Santana around while she felt so moody and sad. Brittany had always been able to look at the positives but this time she was struggling to do so.


"Santana, what's wrong?" Quinn asked they had been watching movies nearly all day and Santana had been staring at her phone practically the whole time.

"Huh? Nothing…" she replied and continued to stare at the device.

Quinn snatched the phone quickly out of the Latina's hand and jumped up from the couch before Santana had time to react.

"Give it back." Santana said also getting up from the couch. Quinn sprinted to kitchen while scrolling on Santana's phone.

Santana groaned, she really didn't have the energy to chase Quinn around but she had to because there is no way she wanted Quinn finding out about her and Brittany.

She walked into the kitchen and was about to ramble off some threat when she noticed Quinn was staring at her phone, her mouth hanging open with shock and her eyes widening.

"What?" Santana asked casually hiding the fact that fear was thrumming through her body, Quinn couldn't find out. "Give it back please."

"You and Brittany aren't just friends are you?"

"What do you mean?" She racked her brain about the messages she and the dancer had sent to one another but couldn't think of any she couldn't feign as a really close friendship. "Give it back or I'll tell JBI about the time you and Puck hooked up in the cleaner's closet at school."

Quinn didn't react, it worried Santana about what might be on her phone. Quinn held the phone out so that the Latina could read what the screen said.

From Britt: Sorry I was so distant last night. I just need a bit of space to process everything. It's not personal, it's just something I need to do. I look forward to seeing you and spending time with you as my girlfriend, especially your kissable lips. I miss you and will text you again soon xox