First I want to apologize for the huge delay. I started my apprenticeship and now college is getting the better of me.
But I want to thank everybody who has favourited the story and is following, it means a lot to me!
Another big thank you- as always- belongs to CookieSpells! Your reviews keep me going, although it takes forever to upload the next chapter- again, I'm so sorry
Sorry for the confusion in the last chapter- I didn't imagine Severus and Aerwyna to leave for the journey immediately after their conversation at the Hog's Head so in my mind the years between their decision to travel together and Lily's death elapsed with arranging matters and finally leaving. I realized now, that another three years is quite long, but it seemed right to me when I wrote it.
I hope you understand my tangled thoughts and I apologize for the confusion!
For this chapter I had to make up a first name for Yaxley as it was impossible for me to find out, if it was ever mentioned in the books and he will become an important character in this story. Also I had to quote one sentence and a headline from J. K. Rowling's work- just so you know and I don't act as if it's mine ;)
Albus Dumbledore sat behind his desk, hands folded and eyes lacking their usual glint.
Two of his former students were currently in his office, one was pacing restless while the other had buried his face in his hands, occupying the seat in front of Dumbledore's desk.
The dark haired woman took another large step and threw her hands in the air, releasing a low growl.
Dumbledore saw her shuddering with rage.
"How could this happen?", she spat.
"The Potters have put their confidence in the wrong person", Dumbledore answered.
His calmness seemed to stoke up her rage, her glare was so intense, he knew, she held onto the last bit of control left, to not hex him.
"Their son survived", he said.
Her expression changed immediately. "I never met him", her voice was weak.
Severus reaction was a completely different one.
"Potter's son", he spat.
Before Dumbledore could react, Aerwyna jumped at her friend, pulled him out of the chair and shoved him against the next wall, drawing her wand in the process.
"He is the son of your best friend, the son of the woman you've loved since you were both children! The gift of her friendship was given to you, but her own son will never experience the immense love she was capable of! Don't dare to despise him, just because you hated his father", she growled and released him.
Both men stared at her.
She turned her back on them, biting into her fist.
It didn't matter, that the friendship between Lily and her broke. What mattered now, were the happy and sunny moments they had spent together.
Aerwyna realized, that it was its finality, she hated most about death.
She turned back around: "Where is her son?"
"Somewhere safe", Dumbledore answered plainly.
She opened her mouth to say something, but he cut her off: "He needs protection. Voldemort might be gone for now, but he will return, that's for sure."
She nodded slowly, her eyes glimmering with determination.
Severus stood, where she had left him, staring at the witch.
Fourteen Years later
Asper Yaxley sat yawning at the breakfast table, rubbing his swollen eyes, as Lucius Malfoy stormed in, tossing the Daily Prophet at him.
The sleepy man held the paper to his chest, staring at its cover: 'Ministry Witch Still Missing- Minister for Magic Now Personally Involved'
"What?", he slurred.
"You should limit your consumption of Elf-made Wine!", Malfoy spat and snatched the newspaper from Yaxley's hand.
He growled lightly and lifted himself to his feet, towering above the intruder, who seemed unimpressed.
"Have you not seen the signs? The time to prove our loyalty is approaching", Lucius stated and watched as the eyes of the man before him cleared remarkably.
"How was your night?", Severus asked cautiously.
"Quite alright. He passed out on the couch. Too much wine", Aerwyna said, while she flung her coat over an armchair.
"I don't like it, that you have to endure this. It's too much to ask from you", Severus spat.
She merely shrugged her shoulders: "We all have sacrifices to make."
He didn't respond, so she said: "Does Malfoy trust you?"
A satisfied smirk stretched his thin lips: "Yes, he does. My bootlicking is exactly, what he needs. I am reassuring him and he believes me."
After a short period of silence, he got up and poured himself a glass of wine.
"Do you want some Elf-made wine?"
She wrinkled her nose: "Ugh, no. No Elf-made wine ever again..."
He stared at her as she wrung her hands.
She did her best to suppress the memories, that were crawling towards her.
"Here", his deep, smooth voice shook her from her thoughts and she blinked to see his dark eyes study her face, holding out a glass of Firewhiskey.
She smiled and accepted it.
Her eyes fixed on the dark liquid, she saw the tiny swirl form in its middle, her smile widening.
"Do you want to start?", Severus asked.
She looked up at him, the swirl in her glass disappearing: "Teach me all you know, my master."
He chuckled as they both rose from their seats.
He raised his arm, pointing with his wand at her and said: "Legilimens."
Sweaty hands ran up and down her torso as the heavy breathing of another human hit her neck, causing her to shiver in disgust. He obviously misjudged her reaction and pressed his arousal further against her.
He was on her now, slamming frantically into her.
But she didn't register it as she waited for what was to come, for what she was sure would come.
And finally his hands closed around her throat. They had been sweaty mere minutes ago, but now they were cold and dry and hard.
She knew, it was the only way for him to finish.
His grip tightened and she started to feel light-headed.
A smile formed on her lips, as she drifted off towards a young boy, crying on a girl's shoulder. Her features were hard as stone.
Aerwyna woke with a start, staring around for a moment.
Yaxley's snores could be heard from the next room.
He always leaves right after he was done with her and she was glad.
She stood up, wincing as the pain hit her, and walked carefully towards a cabinet, that contained healing potions.
After she had gulped one, she waved her hand and the bottle refilled itself.
She smiled.
This was her morning ritual that followed the nights Yaxley visits her bed.
Intense vulnerability hunts her until this very moment.
The moment she proves to herself that she has a power, that her desecrater hasn't.
She had spent the last years by working on her Elemental skills, until she had mastered the technique to control each and every liquid.
At some point Dumbledore had decided, that she should be taught Occlumency as it would become necessary sooner or later.
Severus was the best Occlumency teacher she could imagine, although he had started to dread their lessons since she had had accomplished the task Dumbledore had assigned.
Every memory that contained Yaxley turned him paler and drew his fists tighter.
She dressed in a deep purple, heavy dress and left her room.
Yaxley's father had been an upstart, who bequeathed his money, that was earned under odd circumstances, to his son, as well as the little mansion, he had bought while he had still lived.
The house was cold and empty, no live filled its rooms and halls.
Aerwyna made a fire in the dining room to warm the dark area.
She rubbed her upper arms and stared into the flames. She would leave, before he woke up.
He wouldn't be offended. He knew, she would come back sooner or later.
She would tell him some story and he would believe her.
He saw the strong woman, the evil, gruesome witch, but he didn't search for her vulnerability, her hope or her dreams.
And she was glad.
Summer 1995
It was a mild evening in the middle of July and Aerwyna was currently grinning at Severus' face. He scowled and wrung his hands as he paced.
"Potter. It's always about Potter", he spat.
The dark haired woman lifted her pipe and did another drag as she was sure, the jabbering wouldn't stop soon.
"Why don't you say something?", he stated and stopped in front of her.
She breathed out slowly, a twinkle in her eyes.
"Why are you so.. so cheerful, anyways?", he pushed.
"The way you pace and complain... It reminds me of the boy, I once knew", she answered.
He took a seat and stared at her for a moment, while her eyes were fixed on the smoke, that rose to the ceiling of his living room.
The way she slouched in his armchair, legs resting on his desk and the dress bunched up, she reminded him so much of the young woman, she had been fourteen years ago.
"What?", she laughed and threw a ball of parchment at him.
"Stop, you brat", he chuckled.
She was faster out of her chair, than he could register.
"Stop! Stop!", he chuckled as she tickled his sides, her legs wrapped tightly around his thighs.
"Wyna!", he laughed against her neck, her fingers dancing up and down his sides.
He grabbed her wrists and held them in a tight grasp for a moment.
She stared at him, her cheeks flushed, her chest rising and falling fast while a small smile curled her lips.
He imagined to see waves surge behind those blue eyes, the waves of the Mediterranean Sea.
She hopped off his lap and straightened her dress.
He rubbed his face, worrying about whatever just happened to him.
"It's time, Sevvie", glancing across her shoulder.
"Aerwyna Rivers", his voice sent shivers through her, as fear gripped her heart.
She took a step forward, ignoring the intense urge to turn around and run for her life.
"My lord and master, I swear to serve you until my body falls to ash. My loyalty and vows belong to you."
"Such lovely words", Voldemort snickered cruelly, "but words are no prove."
"Bring him in", he hissed, causing her to wince ever so slightly.
The door opened and Yaxley stepped in, a child pulling behind him.
Aerwyna's eyes widened for a second as he left the shivering boy before her, winking at her.
The kid stared at her, tears running down his dirty cheeks, the little fists gripping his shirt.
"He's a werewolf. We do not tolerate scum and creep. Kill him", Voldemort said, his voice low and bored.
The child's lips started to quiver.
Aerwyna thought of a boy, slightly older than this child. A boy with raven black hair and piercing green eyes.
She lifted her wand, aware that the innocent eyes of the boy in front of her would haunt her for the rest of her life.
Her nerves broke as soon as she stepped across Hogwarts' threshold.
Severus half-carried her to his chambers as spasms shook her body.
He laid her down on his couch, threw Floo Powder into his fireplace and yelled: "Come here!"
Aerwyna lay shaking, murmuring words he didn't understand.
He kneeled beside her and grabbed her hands: "Aerwyna! Aerwyna, look at me. Please!"
Dumbledore stepped out of the fireplace, hurrying over to them.
"What happened?"
"This is your fault! Look at her! You should have known! You should have known, that it will be too much for her to take!", Severus yelled at him.
"Sev…Severus", she looked up at them.
"Wyna"
"Ba… Bathroom", she glided off the couch.
Severus grabbed her arm to support her as her legs gave away.
As soon as she stepped into his bathroom, she started to vomit.
"Go away", she gasped between gagging.
"Wy-", he started, but she yelled: "Go away!"
He returned to Dumbledore, rubbing his face furiously, while pacing the room.
"What happened?", the old man's voice was calm.
"She had to kill a child! A child!", Severus spat.
"You are too hard on him. How should he have known", Aerwyna swayed in the doorframe.
Severus rushed towards her as she shivered.
"Are you cold?", he asked.
"A little bit, it's alright", she mumbled, but he ignored her as he grabbed a blanket, wrapped it around her and pushed her lightly so she would sit down in his armchair.
She watched him rummaging in a cupboard. He handed her a small flagon and said:
"Drink, little stream", he mumbled.
A smile ghosted across her lips, before she gulped the content.
He stroke a strand of hair from her face as her eyes drifted shut and her breath evened out.
Dumbledore watched as he kneeled beside her, gripping her hands.
"Don't read anything into it. I have no one except for her."
Dumbledore opened his mouth, but decided it would be better not to answer.
"I think, you can go. I… Everything is under control", Severus said as he stood up.
Dumbledore nodded, but before he stepped through the door, he turned and said:
"She's stronger than you think, Severus."
It were the sounds of gentle rummaging and the smell of coffee, that woke her the next morning.
For a brief second, she was able to forget the previous evening and as she swayed in the narrow space between dreaming and awakening, she believed her life had taken a totally different lead.
But when she opened her eyes and sat up to rub her eyes, the dreamy smile not yet gone, she caught a glimpse of her forearm.
The mark was still an angry red, her skin not only irritated, but poisoned, her body fighting against such an intrusion.
She felt the tears whelm again, but resisted them as she bit her lip.
She refused to cry over a decision, that was already made. There was nothing she could do, except going through with it.
"Morning", Severus' voice was weak and hoarse. The voice of someone, who had spent his night sleepless.
"Morning", Aerwyna answered. Anger flooded her veins as she heard her own voice quiver.
Both of them remained silent as he sat down beside her, handed her a cup of coffee and took large sips from his own.
"It's done", Severus mumbled.
"Yes, we are damned", Aerwyna forced a smirk.
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