I am so, so sorry for making you wait this long! I know, I'm a stupid bitch, but I really had my reasons! Nothing to discuss here further, let's just say, it were some craaaaaazy months.
I'm sorry again, really, and I would understand it, if you would hate me now.

But here's another chapter and I hope you like it! Thank you Cookie for your questions and support and a big thank you to everybody, who is currently following this story or has it on alert!

I would really like to know, what you think should happen and what you think of the story!
Another bone-crushing sorry hug,
Jez


Severus sat in his office, an old picture in hands.

It showed him and Lily a few weeks before they had started their first year at Hogwarts.
She had her arms thrown around him, her smile wide and her eyes twinkling.
They swayed a little and a light blush coloured his cheeks.
Aerwyna loitered in the background, crossing and uncrossing her arms, stamping with her feet from time to time.

Every time he had looked at the picture, he had stared at Lily's face. Her green, almond-shaped eyes, her bright smile.
The first few years it had made him happy, optimistic.
But then she started to go out with Potter and the meaning of the picture changed.

It no longer showed the girl, he loved and admired.
It represented the distance between them.

But no matter how often he had stared at the photo, Aerwyna had been a detail in the background.
Now he smiled as he saw the grim looking girl kicking stones and glaring at them both.
The jealousy was so evident, blatant. He wondered how he had possibly not seen it until now.

Suddenly the door to his office flew open and Aerwyna rushed in. Without a word she pushed open the cabinet, grabbed the bottle of Firewhiskey and took a few gulps.

Severus gaped at her as she turned around, choking out an exhausted 'Hey'.

"What's going on?", he got to his feet and grabbed her shoulders, searching her face for an explanation. She avoided his gaze, but raised her wand to remove a glamour charm.

Deep purple marks formed a ring around her throat.

His grip on her shoulders tightened as she whispered: "It was worse this time."

Severus let go of her and turned around, burying his face in one hand.
Aerwyna placed the bottle on the table next to where he had placed the picture.

He felt her staring at him for a moment.

Then her hands sneaked around his waist as she rested her head against his back and sighed.

He turned in her arms and cupped her face: "It can't go on like that."

"He realised, that he went too far and he didn't even… Well he wasn't… It was just the strangling-", she tried, but Severus interrupted her: "No! Don't try to play this down! It's already going on for far too long. You needed him, but he has become unnecessary, useless!"

He broke off and turned around again. Aerwyna watched him stalk towards his desk and open a drawer.
He held a wooden box in a tight grasp as he stood in front of her again and said:

"I can't tell you what to do, but I want you to promise me to use this the next time he hurts you like that."

Without breaking eye contact she took the box from him and opened it.
When she finally lowered her gaze, she saw a small dagger shine in the candlelight.

The hilt was plain except for a single emerald.
A strap was attached to it, wide enough to fit around her thigh.

She set it down and looked at him for a long time.
He began to feel uncomfortable under her intense stare, but didn't say a word.

She closed the distance between them.
He felt her heart beat against her chest as it was pressed against him. He wondered, what was going on behind those blue eyes.

Was she searching for comfort?
Did she try to ease their loneliness?

She was still staring into his eyes. He knew, what was going to happen before she even moved a finger.
Her body tensed up and then she was on the tip of her toes and her lips were on his.
He had nearly forgotten, what her kisses felt like.
Before he knew, what was happening, his arms were wrapped around her, holding her against him and hoisting her off the floor.
She pulled back and stared at him again, her mouth slightly open.
Her fingers lightly brushed his cheek and tenderness, he had never seen before, filled her eyes.

But suddenly she was out of his arms and out of his office. The dagger was gone with her.


Aerwyna pushed the doors of Yaxley's mansion open and stepped into the dining room.
The bulky man sat alone at the table, munching dinner as he noticed her.
He stumbled as he tried to reach her, but Aerwyna raised her wand aiming for a point between his eyes.

"Don't come near me", she said. Her voice was calm and flat.

"Ba-", he started, but she cut him off: "No. You will never touch me again or I will kill you."

His mouth stood open as she turned around to leave.


Aerwyna watched the rain trickle down her window. She wrapped her arms around herself as she shivered.
Her gaze wandered across her living room, which was faintly lit by a single candle on the desk. She picked the parchments up, that were strewn over it.

Aerwyna was currently writing a book about curses and defence charms, but it took her longer than she had expected, mostly because she had other things on her mind.

The plans of the Dark Lord led nowhere, as they still had not enough information about how to get the prophecy. This made him moody and unpredictable.
A big dinner should take place tonight in Malfoy's Manor, to which mostly ministry officials were invited. The deatheaters were supposed to mix with them and gain the crucial information.

She smiled as she remembered Severus' face as she had announced, that she would work alongside him for the Order of the Phoenix. He had stormed directly into Dumbledore's office, demanding to end this madness an instant, claiming, that Dumbledore was already controlling his life.

The old man was simply sitting behind his desk, watching Severus throw a tantrum and had explained calmly, that it was her decision, and neither him nor Severus were to interfere.
Aerwyna had had some hard time to not start a giggling fit as she watched the encounter.

Her bathrobe swung as the door to her flat was opened and Severus stepped in.
Her heart jumped against her ribcage as the second reason for her distraction stood in front of her.
Two months had passed since she had kissed him, but they had not spoken about it.
Severus knew, that she had been at Yaxley's house afterwards, as they continued the Legilimency lessons, but he had not said a thing about it.

"Hello, little stream", he said softly.

"You look nice", she whispered. He did indeed. The deep black suit fit perfectly and the first two buttons of his red shirt were left undone.

"You too", he smirked as he looked her up and down.

A snort escaped her as she blushed under his gaze.
She hurried away to change into her clothes, all the while feeling his amused stare on her back, until she closed the door to her bedroom.
Severus couldn't drop the smirk as he turned around to look down on the street.
After some minutes he heard her clearing her throat behind him.

The smirk froze on his face.

The top of her dress was a bodice, tightly laced at the back. The sleeves reached her wrists, a thin string wound around her middle finger.
A silver locket drew his gaze to her low cut décolleté. He recognized it immediately.

She had bought it during their journey at a market in Athens.
He had asked her, what she kept in it, but she has never told him.

Severus opened and closed his mouth two times before he said: "Nice dress."

She grinned and grabbed her cloak.


Aerwyna felt uncomfortable as they entered the gigantic salon so she didn't leave Severus' side.
Narcissa hurried towards them to take their cloaks and throw them at a tiny house elf.

"You are too late", she hissed, "The minister is already here!"

She turned on her heel and stamped away and Aerwyna snickered: "Can you imagine me walking up to the minister saying 'Yo, Fudge, you don't know me, but let's talk about secrets?'"

Severus chuckled and laid his hand on her lower back, guiding her through the crowd.

Suddenly Bellatrix Lestrange stepped in front of them, crossing her arms in front of her chest:

"Well, the two schoolmates!"

Aerwyna forced a tight smile, while Severus just scowled: "Good evening, Bella."

Bellatrix looked them up and down, her grin widening as she nodded shortly towards a lone figure, leaning against the wall:

"Yaxley drank about three bottles of wine since he arrived here. Don't you want to go and take care of him? Or has he become useless, now that you are an independent death eater yourself?"

Her words froze Aerwyna's blood in her veins.

She knew. She sees through me.

Severus grip on her back tightened as he closed the remaining space between them.

"Oh Bella, you clearly have never entertained a relationship, that was even", he accentuated the last word, "Otherwise you would know, that it is in fact a breakable concept."

He nodded at her and led Aerwyna towards a group of ministry officials, leaving Bellatrix fuming.

"You are a bad boy, Severus Snape", the brunette smirked.

"You have to know, Miss Rivers", he smiled down at her, causing her to blush.


The evening went quite smoothly. Aerwyna made conversation and some of the older, already retired- and therefore less useful- ministry officials told her on a regular basis throughout the whole evening, how adorable they found her.

Finally most of the guests were gone and she sat down on a couch and sighed.

"How did your evening go?", Severus fell down beside her.

"I should have been born as a geisha. By the look of it, that's my one hidden talent. Old men love me", she yawned.

He grinned, looking more tired than ever.

"Let's get out of here. I'll get our coats", he patted her knee and a second later she was alone in the room.

She got up and walked a little up and down, examining the ugly portraits on the walls, that sneered at her.
She turned to stare into the flames, her mind twirling with thoughts.

Through the years she had become a good observer, the actions of the people around her had become tale telling. And she had noticed the shift in her relationship with Severus.

His glances had changed, the innocent, random touches felt suddenly meaningful.
She wondered, if she was imagining things. Maybe she wanted it so badly, that she believed her own dreams.

A movement behind her startled her and she nearly fell as she swung around quickly.
A strong arm circled her waist as Severus pulled her against him to prevent her from falling.

"Whoa, watch out there", he chuckled.

Aerwyna could do nothing but stare at him. Her breath evened as she inhaled his scent slowly, taking deep breaths.
She blinked rapidly a few times and broke the eye contact by casting her glance down.
He raised the arm, that was not around her waist to lift her chin.

"Wyna", he whispered, "What's wrong?"

She opened her mouth just to close it again.

"You can tell me anything", he continued.

She stared into his eyes and forced: "Let's get home, okay?"

He stared at her for another second and then nodded, releasing her.


Narcissa kissed their cheeks goodbye, obviously tipsy and they rushed out, both taking a deep breath of the night air.

"Give me your hand, Miss Rivers", Severus smirked at her, causing her stomach to jump.

She smiled at him, taking his offered hand as he started to spin.
When she opened her eyes again, she recognized Hogwarts' grounds.
Staring bewildered at him, she opened her mouth, but he interrupted her unspoken question by a simple shrug: "I have Firewhiskey."
She shook her head smiling.

When they reached his quarters she shook off her shoes and plopped onto his couch.

"Yeah, feel at home", he chuckled, while opening the cupboard, that held the Firewhiskey.

She tucked her feet under and watched him. His back flexed deliciously beneath his shirt and she was thrown back to the images of the night sky and a naked Severus Snape above of her.

"So", he started and pulled her out of her memories, "Tell me what's going on in that pretty little head of yours."

He sat down beside her, handing her a glass.
Searching for the right words, she took a sip and let her gaze wander across the room.

"Sevvie, I have a question and I'm not sure, if I should ask you or live without the answer", she didn't meet his gaze.

"Because you are not sure, I would know the answer?", he furrowed his brow, staring intently at her.

"Because I'm afraid of the answer", she whispered.

"Wyna…", he sighed.

A few moments passed seeming like hours.
He took her glass from her shaking hand and placed both on the coffee table.

"Come here", he asked softly.

She moved towards him until her back met his chest.
His arms immediately wound around her and she could feel him sigh into her hair.

"Now ask. Nothing will happen to you, I promise", he whispered into her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

Aerwyna took a few deep breaths, forcing her voice no to shake.

"Are you still in love with her?", the question came out hollow and pressed.

She felt Severus stiffen behind her, his grip around her middle tightening.


Please review! I know, I probably don't deserve it, but I will make it up to you!