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CHAPTER 3
It had taken a week for Grace to convince Michaela that her inflexible pride in not wanting anyone to know her 'shame' was doing more harm than she realized. Katie was suffering, not to mention Michaela herself. The intrepid café owner finally convinced the stubborn physician to 'heal herself' and reach out to Sully, to extend the olive leaf. Learning that he'd been sending money every month proved, at least, that he still cared, and that bit of truth did give Michaela hope. It had never occurred to Loren to mention the monthly payments. He naturally assumed Michaela knew.
But there was still the question of why Sully had been gone so long with no word directly to her, no inquiries about their daughter. The only reason that seemed plausible to Michaela was that Sully was merely fulfilling his obligations, but was purposely avoiding personal contact...
Grace finally took the bull by the horns and called together a small group of Michaela's trusted friends. After seeing her daughter to school, Michaela walked to the church as if to her own execution, and sat on a pew at the front. She wrapped her arms tightly around herself as Grace hovered close like a mother hen. Hank, Daniel, Loren, and Robert E. stood with their arms crossed over their chests, gazing down at the doctor in heartfelt compassion. None of them had ever seen her so defeated. At that moment, they would have dearly loved to knock some sense into Sully. Even Robert E.'s confidence in his friend had wavered some, once he had found out Dr. Mike had never received the alleged 'letter'.
"I say we just go up to Yellowstone and beat the livin' tar outta him," Hank drawled, thinking he'd been right all along – Sully didn't deserve to have won such a prize as Michaela.
"Aww Hank, that's what you always say. But I say, there's somethin' we don't know. This ain't like Sully," Robert E. began, only to be interrupted by Loren.
"Ain't like him! Why, that's what he did after my Abby died tryin' ta give birth ta his baby. He just up and left. Nobody knew where he was. Why...he didn't tell nobody goodbye or nothin'! Just left the homestead and everything in it and high tailed it to parts unknown. Seems ta me that's what he's done again," he added smugly, hooking his thumbs in his vest.
"No, it ain't what he's done," Daniel quietly injected. "Robert E.'s admitted that he's been in touch with Sully, and that Sully maintains that Michaela threw him out..."
Michaela winced as if she'd been struck. Remembering the terrible words she had yelled at her husband the last night she saw him, she hung her head in shame, raising a hand to cover her face as she fought back fresh tears. Oh, how I wish I could take those words back!
"Well, I believe Docta Mike," Grace defended, slipping a protective arm around her friend. "Sure, they had a fight. All couples fight. But he left without another word to her!"
"No, he said he wrote her a letter," Robert E. reminded.
"But she didn't get no letter," Grace snapped, beginning to feel agitation toward her own husband.
The volatile discussion instantly heated up as Hank, Daniel and Loren all felt the need to restate their opinions of the situation and of Sully himself, arguing back and forth about what they perceived as the 'truth'. Each one unknowingly stated different thoughts that had tormented Michaela throughout the months, and they were only making her feel worse. She was already wishing she hadn't confessed her shame to Grace.
"Now, hold on," the Reverend interceded, holding up a hand to his unseen friends from his place on the other side of Michaela. The tension in the room mounting, he could sense that his friend of many years was at the breaking point. "None of this is accomplishing anything. Now, what I think we should do is..." he paused, sensing something had changed in the emotion-charged sanctuary. He heard Loren gasp softly. Hank whispered, "Well I'll be..."
Suddenly, the hair on the back of Michaela's neck began to prickle and her mouth went dry. Lowering her hand, she raised her eyes to the four men standing before her, to find them staring, open mouthed, toward the back of the church.
Grace noticed and turned in her seat, emitting a soft gasp. Her hand unconsciously squeezed Michaela's shoulder.
Swallowing, her heart pounding so hard her pulse buzzed in her ears, Michaela slowly turned on the seat. What she had wished and prayed for had unexpectedly happened.
There, standing just inside the door, stood the object of everyone's concern...
Sully.
Their eyes met and held, each set revealing all of the hurt and betrayal they were feeling.
Moments ticked by, everyone afraid to breathe, as if he were a mirage that might just as suddenly vanish.
Finally, Daniel softly cleared his throat.
"Ah, folks, I think this meeting's over. These two need to talk."
Silently, the others nodded and began to walk quietly down the aisle. Each one paused for a second next to the returning prodigal, but he didn't take his eyes from Michaela's until Robert E. paused beside him. Sully glanced at him and gave one nod, the blacksmith returning the gesture, before he filed on out and shut the door quietly behind him. The six friends paused at the base of the steps, exchanging looks.
"Oh Lawd, be with 'em in there..." Grace murmured, staring at the closed doors as she clutched the cross around her neck.
"I...I think I'll sit here for a while...just in case they might need...an impartial third party," the Reverend announced softly, his hand feeling for the steps as he lowered himself down.
Grace nodded, still feeling very protective of Michaela. "I'll stay, too."
Robert E. glanced at the other three and then reached up to place his cap back on his head. "Aw shucks, they'll be alright. I'm goin' back ta work," and with that, he set off back to town, extremely happy and relieved that he would no longer be required to keep Sully's secret – and that his friend Dr. Mike had her soul mate back.
Muttering a few choice words, Hank murmured, "I need a whiskey." Drawing a last puff off his cheroot, he flicked the butt into the weeds before ambling after the blacksmith.
Daniel and Loren exchanged a glance, looked up at the closed door, and sighed. "All this hullabaloo for nothin'," Loren griped, taking off after Hank. "Hey, wait up Hank. Think I'll join ya."
Daniel huffed out a sigh; relieved and concerned as he felt the pain of both of his friends. He didn't want to admit, even to himself, that a tiny kernel of hope had begun, way down deep in his heart, that maybe he could 'comfort' the grieving Michaela. He should have known better. If he were honest with himself, he knew those two were meant to be together.
With a polite tipping of his hat, he mumbled, "Grace...Reverend," and turned to go and perform a very important errand.
OOOOOOO
After the door had clicked shut, Sully looked back at his wife. She hadn't moved.
He swallowed, more nervous than he'd ever been in his life. She held his very existence in her hands. Having been told by the first stranger he encountered upon entering town that Dr. Mike was in the church with several others, he had no idea what they had been doing, as he'd only overheard the Reverend's comments. He assumed it was an impromptu council meeting.
Both waited for the other to speak. The misunderstanding crackled in the air between them.
Michaela's heart had lurched at the sight of her husband. She'd never seen him in such a shape. His long hair was unkempt and edged with gray, as was his beard. He was fairly clean, however, as he had scrubbed himself thoroughly before he started back from Yellowstone. Even with the beard, his face looked gaunt, and she could tell he had lost considerable weight, as if he hadn't been eating. The physician side of her brain became greatly alarmed for his physical condition. His eyes were hollow and almost lifeless. Robert E. was right... Guilt stabbed at her soul. What have I done to him? How did this happen to us?
Sully stared at the woman he still adored. All hurt and anger slowly dissolved as he observed her. She seemed severely fatigued, her face worn and tired, as if she had been through an unending emotional wringer. It reminded him of her total depletion during the epidemic all those years before. But...it was a different sort of look than she had worn during her time of mourning for her mother. Instinctively, Sully knew that Cloud Dancing and the spirits had been right. She hadn't wanted him to leave. That thought jarred him to his soul...to think that he had stayed away for nothing, believing he was being noble and sacrificing himself to give her what she wanted... How could I 'a been so stupid?
But the mystery of why she hadn't answered his letter, or come to him, or written to him still stuck in his craw, so he stood rooted to the spot, waiting...
Someone had to say something to break the ice. Michaela, knowing she was the cause of the original trouble between them, moistened her lips and whispered, "You've come back..."
Not trusting himself to speak, he merely nodded as he waited for her invitation to move forward. The memory of all the times she had rebuffed him in the past still raw.
Nervously, she rose from her seat, smoothing her skirt with damp hands before clasping them in front of her. Casting about for something to say, she murmured, "Have...have you been ill?"
His eyes narrowed for a moment, then realized she was probably referring to his obviously deteriorated appearance. Cloud Dancing had gone so far as to tell him he had the look of a man who was dying. He pressed his lips together in a pout. "No...jus'...jus' my heart. Its song's been silent." He watched as the words caused her eyes to begin to fill.
"Oh Sully..." she whispered, her heart squeezing painfully at the reference...his Heartsong... She clenched her hands into tight fists, desperately trying to hold together her frayed emotions.
She took a tentative step toward him, but held back from fear and uncertainty – was he still hurt and angry? Could he ever forgive her?
He reciprocated and moved a step closer, holding himself back from rushing to her and crushing her in his arms. He had to know if she truly wanted him back.
"Katie...she's alright?" he rasped, his voice hoarse with restrained emotion.
Bitterly ashamed, Michaela dropped her head, gritting her teeth together for a moment as visions of Sully screaming Katie's name after she'd been kidnapped swam before her liquid vision. She knew how much Sully loved his daughter...could he really have thought she would keep her from him? How had things gotten so off track between them? Another ton of guilt dropped on her shoulders. How could I have been so horrid to him? Had I gone temporarily insane? What had gripped me so, that I would act and think so completely irrationally? Once again, she thanked God the 'insanity' had abated.
Instinctively she knew that they were at a crossroads, standing on a precipice, and that pride and misunderstandings like this had broken many solid marriages completely apart. She refused to allow that to happen. Taking a deep breath, she raised her head again, repentant tears on her cheeks.
His heart constricted.
"Oh Sully...I'm so sorry for the things I said that night. That terrible night...I didn't mean any of it," she squeaked, her eyes pleading. "I've wanted so badly to tell you that...to beg you to forgive me. For that – and for all the months I shut you out..." she paused as she watched his eyes fill and finally, he began to move toward her and she to him, both rushing the last few steps to collide into one another's arms in sweet relief.
"Oh God, 'Chaela..." "Sully..." they gasped, eyes shut as they gloried in one another's long needed embrace. Then suddenly they were kissing, both famished to the point of starvation for the taste of their beloved, wildly drinking in each other's essence until their tears eventually mingled on their cheeks. They only pulled back enough to simultaneously kiss away the liquid emotion.
"God I've missed you!" Sully groaned, bringing his hands to her head and cradling her face with his palms, his brow pressed to hers, his eyes shut tight.
She nodded, her eyes shut, her arms wrapped around his back, unwilling to ever let him go. She whispered, "I've missed you!"
"I need ya so bad...I was goin' outta my mind...I was dyin' without ya!" he rasped, kissing his way back to her lips again. She wanted him...she loved him! He felt as if he had come back from the dead...awakened from a long horrendous nightmare.
He came back to me...he's never stopped loving me...how could I have ever believed such a thing? His kisses chafed her mouth, his beard was rough against the smooth skin of her cheeks, his arms nearly crushed the breath from her lungs, but she reveled in all three...only that moment realizing she had been on the brink of ceasing to exist without his love, his strength, his presence to steady her world.
"So much time wasted," she whispered remorsefully. "How could I have been such a fool?"
Then suddenly she was sobbing in a mixture of relief and regret. He immediately scooped her up in his arms and lovingly carried her to the front of the church as she clung to his neck and wept. He eased down on the pew she had vacated, still holding her close in his arms. Rocking her gently back and forth, he pressed his lips to her hair, murmuring little words of love and comfort, but not shushing her. He knew she needed to let it all out. Astutely, he sensed she had been holding her emotions in since the night he left.
The tears wouldn't stop once the floodgates opened. Michaela wept in shame and remorse for all of the harsh words she had flung at this man she loved...this man who loved her and had always put her wants and needs above his own. For all of the times she had pushed him away, resisted his attempts to help, wallowed in self-pity and allowed her time of mourning to turn into unnecessary months of agony for them both. He'd been so patient, so loving through it all – and actually his leaving had been proof of his love, as he truly thought she wanted him gone. Nothing could have been farther from the truth, as she had begun to mourn his absence the minute she had heard the front door slam that awful night.
Finally, as the sobs slowed to soft, jerking sniffles, he pressed her forehead to his neck, his eyes closed. "I been such a fool. Cloud Dancin' was right. I shoulda known somethin' was wrong. I shoula come back and made ya talk to me," he whispered, his heart aching. "It's all my fault."
Michaela moved her head a tiny shake. "It isn't your fault, it's mine. But, I wish you had come back...Robert E. said you left me a letter...but oh Sully, I give you my word, I never saw it..." Pulling back, she swiped at the tears with the back of her hand. "Where did you leave it?" she asked, only just then truly believing the letter had actually existed.
His lips curved into a small, sad smile as he moved his hand to smooth away with a thumb the moisture on her cheek. "On the kitchen table."
She allowed her mind to go back to those awful days after he had left, picturing the pristine kitchen each time she had come home...no letter anywhere in sight.
"It breaks my heart that I didn't receive it," she whispered. "So much has happened since you've been gone...I've needed you so badly..."
Shame gouged at his heart and he pressed his lips tightly together, feeling that he deserved to be horse whipped. "I never shoulda gone away...I shoulda been here. I shoulda been here."
Fresh tears gathered in her eyes, his words reminding her of others they had shared so many years before. She raised one hand to caress his beloved face, smoothing the ruffled beard, wet with their mingled tears. "I'm just thankful you're here now...you came home to me."
His lips trembled with emotion, his eyes searching hers. How could they have let things go that far? How could they have suffered such a tragic misunderstanding? They were each other's soul mates! Each other's Heartsong! They didn't just love one another; each one needed the other for their very existence!
He reached for her hand and gently pressed her fingers to his lips, eyes closing, as he had done so many times before. "There's no place else on earth I'd rather be...and I ain't ever gonna leave ya again – ever," he whispered the vow, meaning it with every cell of his body.
"And I promise that I shall never turn you away or hurt you again," she vowed, sealing their words with a soft kiss. As he leaned his forehead to touch hers, he wondered if a heart could burst from sheer relief and love.
Suddenly, they heard the sound of feet running up the steps and the door bursting open. Startled, they turned their heads to see their sweet daughter as she appeared at the edge of the entry wall. Her eyes lit up and she squealed, "Poppy!"
In a flash, she ran down the aisle. Michaela moved off Sully's lap to allow him to greet his daughter, and he bent down, catching her in his arms and swinging her around and around. "Katie girl, my sweet Kates, I've missed ya so much," he murmured as he crushed her to his chest. Whispering her pet name for him repeatedly, she covered his cheeks with kisses.
Michaela retrieved a hanky from her reticule and wiped her face and eyes, her gaze never leaving these two people she loved more than anything else in the world. Katie had needed her father, needed to feel his love, for so long. It warmed Michaela clear through to watch their reunion.
Finally drawing back a bit, but still held tight in her father's arms, Katie met Sully's tear-filled blue eyes. Her brown eyes wet with matching emotion, she murmured, "I was so afraid you would never come back. Please Poppy...don't ever go away again..."
Using every ounce of emotional strength he had left to keep from breaking down at her innocent request, Sully closed his eyes for a moment. A tear slowly rolled down each cheek as he shook his head softly. He brought her face close and kissed her forehead, vowing, "I won't, honey. I promise. I'll never leave ya again." She wrapped her little arms around his neck and held on tight.
He opened his eyes and turned a bit to meet his soul mate's eyes, seeing the tears coursing down her cheeks again. They matched his own. "Never again," he repeated, from the depths of his heart.
Then taking a deep breath, he adjusted Katie in his arms and stepped back to his wife, extending a hand to her. With a watery smile, he mumbled, "Let's go home."
She took his hand and nodded, rising to her feet. Stretching up, she lovingly kissed their daughter and wrapped one arm around her husband. Together, they slowly made their way down the aisle.
Opening the door, they stepped out together into the bright autumn sunlight. To each one, it seemed that they were seeing the sun for the first time in months. The dark, heavy cloud had lifted. They could breathe again.
Grace and Daniel smiled up at them, greatly relieved to see the three of them happy again. The Reverend could feel their joy, and his beaming smile reflected his own feelings of relief.
Again, Sully said to the world at large, "Let's go home."
It ain't over yet folks!
