Yay! Another chapter closer to the end, guys! I'm not sure how many I've got left, but it's gotta be like maybe...two and an epilogue XD So very excited!

I'm hoping that I'll be able to get to work on the next chapter soon, but I'm not sure how distracted I'll get by Data Squad/Savers and all the other things that so easily distract me XD But I'll do my very best to keep my head and keep pecking away at these keys!

On another note, though, I'd really like to thank everybody that's stuck around since the start of this story. I appreciate every single one of you more than you can possibly imagine, and I really hope that you guys know that I mean that from the bottom of my heart :) Many thousands of thanks to you guys!

Now, without further ado, please enjoy this chapter and feel free to leave a review to let me know what you thought!


Chapter 12~

I stared with blank disinterest at the rain-soaked human world outside the Motomiya's glass door, watching as the water rolled down the glass only to join the growing puddle on the balcony. I wasn't paying any attention to the sound of Mrs. Motomiya cooking in the kitchen, and I didn't turn around when Jun walked past. I knew she'd said something to me, but I couldn't reply. I could barely even breathe without my stomach growling savagely.

I'd been back in the human world for a little over a week now, and it had been more torturous than any time I could've spent alone in the Digital World. I couldn't go outside, and I could hardly bear it to be inside with Davis and his family, to be able to smell and feel them and the others that lived in their building. Never had I been in a situation where such self-control had to be practiced, but I did my very best, and no slip-ups had occurred yet. I couldn't let them.

The only solitude that I was able to find was to sit in the puddles on the Motomiya's little balcony because the smell of the rain water was so thick and heavy that it blotted out all other scents. It was nice to be able to achieve some peace of mind for even a moment, just enough for me to be able to torment myself in my mind instead of my body solely. It made the punishment more rounded.

However, Mrs. Motomiya had caught me and said she didn't want me to catch a cold or something, so she was making me stay inside. That had been a few hours ago when she got home from grocery shopping; I was still sitting on the towel that she'd given for me to dry off with, which I really hadn't done. I had really only kept it to make sure that I didn't damage their floor at all.

But my focus was on the world outside at the moment. I could see the silhouettes of the people across the street in the other apartments. There were people watching television, students working on homework, a couple was dancing with the lights down to a mere gold glow, all of them completely oblivious to the horror that was watching them from afar. The thought made me sick to my stomach. I could kill any of them in an instant, and they would never even know what happened.

A shudder tore through my body. It was absolutely disgusting to think like that. Any crime, any bad thing, was horrible to think about. It was evil when it was thought of, it was evil when it was seriously contemplated, and it was evil incarnate when it was finally carried out. And that very evil would stain that person's skin and heart and soul for the rest of their life. You could smell it on them, see it like a fresh wound.

Then I must be like a wretch to others… I rubbed my arm, looked down at the scarred flesh and torn leather. And I must be covered in cuts and scars and blood, too… With a small sigh, I released my arm and brought my eyes back to the rain slipping slowly down the glass. Back to those happy people, normal people, living their love-filled lives as if they didn't know that there was such a thing as darkness. Like malice and hate weren't real.

Like I didn't exist.

"…I wish you were right, then…" I mumbled to myself as Davis walked into the room and came to my side. Davis didn't say anything to me as he used the towel that he'd brought to dry off my head and face better; I'd been talking to myself for the past few days, so he knew not to think much of my seemingly random statements. But I knew that he was worried about me. He was afraid that I'd do something to make my guilt go away forever.

And so he'd ask me every day: "Hey," The brunette sat down beside me, his eyes on me while mine were still turned to the window. "Are you…doing any better today?" I sighed through my nose and glanced at him out of the corner of my eyes, thought I looked away not a moment after. Davis's concern was written all over his face, and had been ever since I returned from the Digital World. All he wanted was to help me, and I knew it…

…But I couldn't let him worry about me. I wasn't deserving of his love and friendship, his concern. "I'm…" It took me a moment to think of something believable to tell him, but it was difficult when he could tell so easily that I wasn't all right at all. He knew I wasn't better. But he had to hold onto hope, and I hated myself for making him. "…I'm the same as yesterday. I haven't changed." It was true, but it wasn't what he wanted to hear, which I couldn't tell him without having to lie.

I could feel Davis's concern filling the air around us, and it ached my lungs to breathe it in. But I knew why he was more worried today compared to the days before this. Yesterday…I'd followed Davis to school, but I hadn't followed him home. I'd misplaced my common sense for a moment, and that was all it took for me to sink into the darkness pooled in the back of my brain, for me to begin the hunt of an innocent once again.

It had been a girl a little older than Davis, with dark red hair that smelled of hairspray and bounced happily with every skip-like step that she took. I didn't know her name, and that hadn't mattered to me at the moment. Her hair had reminded me of blood, and the blush on her cheeks as she'd walked with her friends made the thought very hard to ignore. And I couldn't.

I followed her in the shadows of trees and alleyways and in the safety of unaware and unsuspecting crowds who, for some reason, paid me no mind. Maybe they thought I was some nutcase who hadn't been picked up and sent to the looney bin yet. And maybe they were right. Maybe everyone would be safer if I were confined in a prison meant to drug me up and keep me under the rug like a bug everyone wanted to crush.

Nevertheless, I'd been ignored, and that had made it simple to stalk the girl all the way to her home. I watched her go in from a tree across the street, smelled her perfume and her warmth as a gust of wind blew her beautiful hair from her shoulders, my own locks twirling like black snakes in the afternoon shade. I leapt from my tree to one in which I could look into her house, and I watched as she came into her room, laughing over her shoulder at something that someone inside had said. She was as pretty as Kari. But not prettier.

She turned from setting down her bag and glanced in a mirror, checking to see if the curls that she'd put in her hair that morning had stayed, and smiled when she saw that they were still quite perfect. But her smile faded and her face contorted in horror quickly; she could see me staring at her thanks to the angle of her mirror. The thought to move hadn't even crossed my mind, and to this very moment I still had no idea why. But the shock of being seen had snapped me out of my trance and I'd fled back to Davis for safety.

But not my own safety.

I needed to be by Davis, however dangerous I was afraid it could be for him and his family, because he made me remember every time that I looked at him what I was, he made me remember that I needed to keep a tight hold on myself in this world. I needed to stay by him to remember that I was a threat to each and every living thing in both the human world and the Digital World. I had to remember that I was the sort of monster that always was killed at the end of the horror movie.

"Davis," I glanced at Davis's mother's reflection in the glass; Jun tiptoed behind her and glanced warily at me as she continued to head for the hallway, clearly getting ready to go to sleep. Or at least try. She didn't like me being in the house; no one but Davis seemed to. Which was understandable. "You have school tomorrow, so go to bed—and take her with you. I don't want her sitting there alone all night." I felt more than saw her gesturing toward me with her hand.

But the brunette did as well, though his response was different from mine. "She's still a person whether or not she has fuzzy ears and a tail, Mom. I can't tell her what—" I held up my hand before Davis could continue, and turned slowly back around to face his mother as I rose to my feet. I was shorter than her, but the way that she shrunk back from me made me feel like a giant compared to her. It was a disgusting feeling, like being told that it was all right to use another person to wipe the mud off your shoes. Literally using them like a doormat.

Needing to be back in a less superior place, I dropped back onto the ground and sat down on the towel again. "It…it doesn't matter, Davis. She didn't mean it in a bad way. I shouldn't be staring at them anyway." I stared at the ground as a silence set in between the three of us, but I did nothing to fill the void that had been torn through the center of the room. I didn't need to. Nor did I really want to.

Davis's mother, not knowing what else to say or do, gave a small nod and then left us alone in the quiet room. I heard the floor creak and a door close somewhere in the apartment as she retired to her own bedroom. It was still a few moments before I stood again, though Davis's heavy gaze weighed me down before he voiced his troubled thoughts.

"Why...who is 'them'?" I didn't look up at Davis, not at this inquiry. I turned my face away from him when he tried to meet my gaze by leaning down into my field of vision, saddened by the knowledge that my reply would upset him. The happy ones, Davis. The happy ones who live in a happy world where I don't exist. The world that you and all your friends and family should be living in. The world I should graciously give back to you.

I couldn't say any of that, though. "No one. No one…" Davis's unconvinced frown haunted me and I refused to meet his gaze no matter where he stood or how long he looked at me. I didn't want him to know of the things that crossed my mind during every second of every minute of every hour of every day. Thoughts that would be nightmares to anyone other than myself, thoughts that were dark and not fit to be thought at all.

Davis, perhaps knowing that he wouldn't get anything out of me, didn't try to pry and instead wandered off to his room as if in a sort of daze. His blue companion, who had been oddly silent during the conversation thus far, remained behind and stared up at me with his deep scarlet eyes, searching me tirelessly for a moment for the answer to a question that he had not voiced. I shifted my gaze to the empty space beside him, but that didn't make him go away.

Finally, he seemed to have gotten his answer without my assistance, for he sauntered up to my feet, sat down on one of them, and, holding onto my ankle for support, pointed after Davis and chimed, "Bedtime~! Let's go!" Figuring that he'd leave me be if I acted as transportation, I relented without much of a fight and walked slowly to the DigiDestined's room. DemiVeemon yawned on the ride over. "Oh boy, I'm sleepy…"

I stood stoically in the doorway as DemiVeemon climbed down from my foot and scampered off to Davis's bed. As soon as he'd climbed up onto the blankets, he sat down in the spot that he'd apparently called 'eternal dibs' on, and motioned for me to join him by patting the sheets next to him. "When I say bedtime, I mean for everybody! And that includes you, too, Moroamon!"

"I can't," I told him simply. "Devi—I wasn't created—I…" I trailed off with a growl and averted my gaze from the cerulean Digimon as I retired to the corner of the room. I slid down the wall and, holding my knees to my chest, hid my face from the petite creature. "I'm incapable of sleeping. And even if I was, I couldn't sleep there. You and Davis would freeze with me by you." I thought that my reasoning was quite sound, but DemiVeemon didn't give up.

He cocked his round head to the side and shot me a rather concerned look. "But if we'd be cold, then aren't you cold all the time?" His question seemed absurd at first since he had just touched my foot not too long ago, but as I thought about it, I saw that body temperature wasn't necessarily what he meant. Or at least that's not how I saw it. It felt more like he was talking about an internal cold, like having a chill in your heart. Like what being sad felt like.

I raised my face enough so that the small, usually happy creature could easily see my eyes, but only because I knew that they wouldn't betray anything that I was feeling currently. They were windows to the soul, yes, but it was up to me when the shades were drawn. "…That shouldn't matter to you, DemiVeemon. As long as you two don't feel it, it doesn't matter what I feel—"

"But I do feel it…" I snapped up at his words, eyes wide with shock. I barely knew what to think as my mind processed his words. Was he still talking about my internal chill, or had he switched to the physical aspect of things without my picking up on it? Could he…could he really feel the turmoil that had turned my heart as cold as the rain slipping down Davis's windows?

DemiVeemon didn't say anything more and neither did I. He just gazed at me with a sad expression for the longest time, before the scene was taken from me when Davis turned off the light and crawled into bed without a sound. I felt his warmth drift through the room, but it didn't comfort me. I couldn't get that picture of DemiVeemon out of my head, and I couldn't help but wonder if Davis could feel my pain as well.

Was that why he was so curious about how I was doing? Did he feel something that he couldn't explain, some pain that he couldn't trace the origin of? Was he plagued by my turmoil? Was that why he wanted to know what was going on inside of me, because he needed to pin some kind of a name to what was hurting him? Was I…was I hurting him?

My lip trembled in the darkness and I smothered the movement with my hands. My beastly hands. The hands that took life and could only ever try to repair the damage that had been done. The hands that had killed so many people and destroyed so many Digimon. The hands that had tried to atone for their own sins by rescuing someone else, by showing emotions that such a monster as me should never have ever known. The hands that were killing their salvation from the inside out without ever needing to touch him.

I clenched my hands into fists and crossed my arms over my knees, not wanting to see them at all. I buried my face into the leather covering my arms; I didn't want to see anything but the darkness right now. It was the only place that I could hide, that I could pretend that I was something other than what I was, even though such actions were cowardly and didn't help change anything in the long run.

And the dark really wasn't even that safe. That was where Devimon lurked, waiting for me to come too far into the darkness so that he could grab me and drag me back into the world that I never should've been a part of: His world. I was like a queen in that world, like royalty that had been given me by the highest of high powers. But in reality…I was scum. A murderer. A tyrant.

I wished to change places with someone on death row. That…that was my true place.


Morning came bittersweet and slow. It was the beginning of a new day for so many people, a time when they could shed their pain and mistakes and begin anew. They could change and become the very person that they'd always dreamed of being. They could turn from their sorrow and become something more than a shadow wallowing in sadness and spilled tears.

But I could not do those things. I couldn't move on like they could.

I opened my eyes slowly and stared at the cold floor as Davis rose from his bed. He crossed the floor and gathered his clothes, though his movements were uncoordinated and…extremely unlike him. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but I knew that I was what was wrong. It was me. He wasn't like himself because he was sad, sad because I was sad and he didn't know how to make me feel better.

Gulping back a lump in my throat, I rested my chin on my arm and watched as the sun kissed his tanned face through the heavy rain. The light caressed his cheek, wrapped its arms around him and asked him what was wrong like I wanted to, nuzzled its face into his soft hair for no reason other than to make sure that he knew it was there. For some reason, the light had taken the form of Kari Kamiya.

Kari…how perfect she was. How lovable and kind, how sweet and cheerful. Her smile was so nice, and her teeth were straight and normal, a trait that was rather uncommon among most humans unless they had work done. Her hair was soft and clean, and had probably never been matted with anything unnatural. Her amber eyes were inviting and as warm and soft as her heart.

That was why Davis loved her, wasn't it?

It was her heart. She knew who she was and who she was going to be until the end of time, and she had every intention of carrying out that plan. She was good to others and loved everyone despite whatever flaws they might have. She even strived to be friendly with me as Davis was. She tried to be kind. She tried to be my friend. She really was trying.

I sighed quietly to dismiss my previous thoughts as Davis paused in his search for socks and tried to smile as he said, "You should come along to school with me. You'll get bored if you sit around here alone all day." His voice was light and airy, like a pixie coming to present itself to another living creature for the first time in decades. But, unlike Davis, my appearance along probably would've scared off a creature of light such as a pixie.

"…There are too many people there for me, Davis," I muttered into my arm, my mind focusing only on the red-haired girl that I'd gone after. I would probably see her again if I went along with Davis. Maybe I'd even try to follow her home again. Or would someone else be chosen this time? "It won't be safe for them if I go outside. It's not fair that they should be in danger of something that shouldn't even be in their world—"

"And it's not fair that you have to hide every day for the sake of everybody else!" I looked up sharply at Davis's tone, which was hurt and loud, but his face showed nothing but emotions that were meant only for me. His hands shook with what he was holding back, possibly because he didn't want to say what he was thinking, and maybe because he didn't know how to say what he was thinking. I wasn't sure which it was.

"…Davis—"

"No! Don't punish yourself about this stuff anymore!" The boy took a step forward, his fists clenched and shaking like there was so much more that he wanted to say, but that was all that he could force out. "I know you didn't mean to do all of that stuff—you looked at me different that night than what you do now! You…you looked like you weren't even there then, but you're here with me right now!

"There…there's a difference between the girl who did all that—" He pointed a trembling finger at the world outside his window, the world that was drowning in a strange storm of sunshine and rain, the world that was ravaged with fear of me. "—and the girl who saved me from that Dokugumon at the soccer game! There's a difference!" He opened his mouth as if to add something else, but closed it again after a moment or two. His hand still was pointing out the window.

For a long while I stared at him, unable to speak and not knowing what to say even if I could say anything. Was Davis trying to say that he thought I'd been…that Devimon had been controlling my mind during all of those crimes? Did he think that I'd really had no intention of the dark things that I'd done? Devimon had surely been powerful enough to do those things, but…did he actually have the ability?

Thinking back, I couldn't remember a single time when the scarlet-eyed demon had taken over someone else's mind. Or at least, he'd never done it in front of me. Perhaps it was possible—unlikely, though. Devimon had created me with a strong mind so that such things could never happen to me. For example, several groups of Parasimon cowered in the shadows near Devimon's hideout, and he surely didn't want any of them getting a hold of me.

So maybe Davis's assumption, though a nice thought, was impossible.

But at least now I knew that Davis could indeed feel my sorrow, for it was driving him down the gloomy, never-ending road of despair as well. I could see the darkness beginning to leak into his eyes, feel the chill in the air as it tried to tug away the warmth of his heart. It was selfish of me to want to stay with him any longer; he would only become as cold and dead as me inside if I stayed.

Despite knowing that I should, I wasn't strong enough to leave good enough alone. And, as I stood from my spot in the corner and came over to Davis, I knew that I'd never be able to leave. Taking his hand in mine and lowering his arm back to his side, and in that moment when his eyes met mine, I could feel it. The void that I'd sought so long to fill had been filled. The warmth of another's soul had been what I'd needed all along.

And here I was ruining the only thing I'd ever needed. "Then what do you propose I do, Davis? I can't bring those people back, I can't apologize, and if I can't take revenge on the perpetrator for them, then there's no use for me anymore," Watching the hurt spread across his face told me a truth that I'd known for a while now: There was no going back. Things could only get worse from here. "If you don't want me to die, then what else am I to do?"

I froze inside and out when I noticed a tear at the corner of the brunette's eye, though he quickly brushed it away with a swift swipe of his yellow sleeve. He shook his head in disbelief of the limited choices I was giving myself, and allowed himself a bitter smile as he said, "Let it go, and forgive yourself! If those people knew how things really were and how you feel right now, then I know that they'd forgive you, too, so you have to forgive yourself and move on!

"If you can't do it yourself, then I'll help you! We can find you someone to talk all this out with somebody who really knows what they're doing, and they can help you get past all of this. Me and the others will always be here for you, too, and we'll help you find a way to become a human again so you can finally forget that all of this ever—"

He fell silent when I slowly brought my hands up to hold his face like I'd seen many tender people do in the movies that Jun liked to watch. I was very afraid to touch Davis, but I felt that he needed it. Humans communicated mostly with words, but some had found that touch was far more effective. It said much more than words ever could, and if done correctly, one might not need to say anything at all.

A small, sweet smile appeared on my face as I watched his surprise and felt the blood rush to light up his face. The boy wasn't used to physical contact coming from me, so I wasn't terribly astonished that he was a little embarrassed by the close proximity. I wasn't completely comfortable with it myself, but kept in mind that Davis's state of well-being was much more important than mine.

My voice was quiet and light, like gentle encouragement to a young child, despite my bleak words. "If I killed your sister just because I could or was told to, would you forgive me?" Shock spread across his face, and I knew that I had him exactly where he needed to be. I wished that he didn't have to see it this way, but he had to know the truth about the situation. "No, you wouldn't, would you? It's easy for you to say that you would because it hasn't happened, but if you imagined it for a moment, you'd be lying if you said you could forgive.

"I cannot and will not ask or assume forgiveness from those people and Digimon that I so viciously ended the lives of. It's not and will never be my place to say whether or not any of them deserved what I gave them, and I shouldn't have been the one to decide that it was their time to go. But I can't take back those actions or the words I spoke to them, and I most certainly can't give their lives back to them. Though if I could somehow, know that I would most assuredly do so.

"However, because I can't do such things, there are only a few things that I can do to make right the wrong I've done. I don't know the outline exactly for each of those plans, but you must know that each of them ends with me never coming back. And with my life ending somehow," I slowly lowered my hands from his face, hot tears chasing after my fingertips as the left his skin. "I'm sorry, Davis, but I've made my decision. Our friendship will have to be terminated soon."

Upon hearing a sad, disappointed sound, I glanced over at Davis's bed to find that DemiVeemon had awoken during our discussion. He'd heard what I'd said, though I wasn't sure that he understood all of it. But he could tell by the tears that Davis had briskly brushed from his face that whatever we were discussing was something that should never have crossed anyone's mind.

Figuring that there was nothing else that he could say at the moment, Davis re-gathered his clothes and headed for the restroom. "I know you're scared to, but I need you to come to school with me. Maybe one of the others will have something to say that'll help…" He said the last part more to give himself a shred of hope than to me, but I still appreciated it. I had no hope to give him, so it was comforting to know that he could make some himself.

It's good that he's got friends that he can rely on so completely. That'll make it easier for him to let go of any regrets he has about me or any pains that might linger after I leave him. I couldn't leave him if I was leaving him alone, but thankfully I'll be the only one left like that.


I didn't spend much time by Davis during the school day. It was too difficult for me to stay in one spot for very long, so I spent a number of hours wandering around the campus wherever I thought that I wouldn't be seen. I watched the students in P.E. playing soccer in the rain for quite a long time (there was a lot of mud on the field, so it was sort of humorous watching them flail about). It was on the same field that the Dokugumon had tried to attack Davis.

The memory seemed far away, but the feelings were fresh. I could recall the rage that had powered me, the unbridled strength that I'd used to attack Dokugumon with. I could no longer tap into such power, and this perplexed me to no end. I hadn't been able to ever since Devimon put that collar on me; it had to be some kind of firewall, just in case I ever decided that I wanted to challenge him, which would be a very foolish move. But…that brought up a new question.

Had Devimon doubted my loyalty from the beginning of this mission, when my struggles with Davis and the others had first begun? Had he expected this outcome all along? Had he doubted my willpower, my inner strength? Had he…had he thought that my mind wasn't strong enough to be able to force all those human emotions out of my head for good?

Well, no matter what he really thought, he ended up being correct. I'm at Davis's mercy and there's no way I can hurt a fly now. I sighed and rubbed at the silver device wrapped tightly around my neck. It was incredibly uncomfortable and stuck to my skin whenever it was wet, but I didn't know how to take it off, and I didn't have a reason to, either. It wasn't like I had anyone that I was to go off and fight, so why would I need the power?

"What are you doing?"

My muscles tensed slightly, startled at the unexpected voice coming from below my perch. Glancing down from my tree branch, I saw the currently sopping wet Tai Kamiya staring up at me from below. He didn't seem…happy to see me, but he also didn't appear to mind all that much. I suppose it was starting to become something of a routine for the DigiDestined to be able to look around and see me. I couldn't help but wonder if that creeped them out sometimes.

I crept down a few branches so I wouldn't have to talk very loudly for him to hear me. "Davis didn't want me to be alone because he thinks I'll do something. He's afraid of my decision," The image of the tears that had streamed down Davis's face returned to me and I cringed. How could I have been so cruel to him as to have said my plans so bluntly? I would have to keep quiet and undetailed about it from now on for his sake.

Tai nodded, water trickling down his face and dripping from his hair due to the movement. "He looked pretty shaken up when he walked here this morning; he didn't even say hi to his buddies." The older DigiDestined gave me an uneasy look, like he had a guess as to what I was going to answer him with, but he was hoping that he was wrong. "What exactly is this decision you're talking about?"

I stared at him silently for some time, wondering if it was all right to tell him as I had Davis. Tai had been involved with the world of Digimon longer than Davis had, so maybe he was better able to take losing a friend and he wouldn't react like the younger boy had. But I was unsure. Nevertheless, he'd asked me, and it was necessary that the others know eventually what I was planning to do. They'd want to know when I was leaving to being the payment, wouldn't they?

"To die," Tai's eyes widened in shock at my words, but I didn't stop to let them sink in for very long. He had to understand that I was not doing this out of depression or mental instability. I'd never been more sure of anything before in my life. "I must in order to avenge the ones I killed. A single death might not be enough, but I was supposed to be eternal, so I thought that an eternity of suffering would make things as right as they could be. Then I could die so this will never happen again."

The brunette gazed at me with eyes filled with all kinds of emotions, none of them good. I stared back at him without flinching, unwilling to change my plan for anyone or anything. I'd decided the best course of action, and I would stick with it no matter what. I knew that Davis would be hurt that his friend was going out of her way to destroy herself, but it had to be done. It had to be. He would be fine.

Tai seemed less than pleased at my words. He placed a hand behind his head uncomfortably and ran his tan hand through his soaked hair. "…Yeah. That would do it." The boy lowered his hand and cast me a stony expression, eyes hard and unafraid to tell me exactly what he was thinking. Had he ever been truly afraid of me? Or had he always shown such courage in my presence? I wasn't sure. "Do you have any idea how important you are to him—"

Rage suddenly bubbled up within me, and I could feel something snapping, but I held myself together as best I could. "Do you have any idea how important he is to me?!" I felt myself struggling to lean forward towards Tai to emphasize my point, my breaths now coming in pants. I hurriedly tried to compose myself, but I couldn't stop the onslaught of emotion from flowing through my lips. "I'm doing this for those families whose lives I destroyed, and so that Davis will never have to hurt because of me ever again! I'd still be out there killing if I hadn't met him!

"Don't…don't talk to me about things you know nothing about…" I moved up to a higher branch, refusing to look at the DigiDestined. There was an aching in my heart as I began to realize that there wasn't a single able-minded person on either world that would be able to share my feelings, who could understand them. There wasn't one sound person who would agree that my plan was the only thing that could be considered now.

But I knew that it was.

Despite my appearing as if I was trying to ignore him, Tai didn't walk away or cease continuing in the conversation. I could no longer feel his gaze on me; he'd turned his face to the ground enough that I could no longer see his eyes. His voice was quiet and smooth, comforting, as he spoke, but I didn't let him get very far. I'd anticipated what he would say, and I didn't want to hear it. "I know—"

"You've never killed a child, Tai!" I snarled as I dropped down to the lowest branch that I could go to without being seen. Cold, angered eyes bored into the top of Tai's head as I spoke, a chill creeping through my voice and attempting to slice into his skin, make him see. He had to see that there was no one worse than me, and that I couldn't stay with Davis because of that. I couldn't be with anyone because of that. I had to suffer. "You've never hurt anyone—"

Tai's head snapped up at my words and he took a step towards me as words flew from his mouth, though they each had their purpose and none of them were being thrown about for the sake of speaking. "Everyone has done things that they can never take back, and can never forget! Things that took a long time for them to forgive themselves for, but they did it because that's what you have to do in this life! Don't talk to me about things you know nothing about." I scowled at him using my words against me, but he held my stare unwaveringly, and I had to commend him for it.

He was stronger than me. In the mind, at least. And in the heart.

I pulled back from him slowly, clambering back up onto a branch that was a little higher than the one I'd previously been on, but my eyes never left him. I held no fear for him, but he had my respect, and that was something that was difficult to earn without fear being involved. Tai had no intention of hurting me, no intention of making a fool of me, but he still had the power and the guts to assert his dominance. And I could not ignore such superiority.

But I could ignore him. So, turning my head away from him and back towards the soccer players that he should've been with, I did my best to block out his presence. This didn't seem to bother him for the most part since he didn't try to get my attention back, and I hoped that he might grow tired of waiting or of the conversation in general and leave. I figured that he wouldn't, but I hoped that he would.

After a few moments of listening to nothing except for the pitter-patter of the rain hitting the leaves hiding me from sight, Tai broke the silence. "Listen. I know that you're really powerful and can take care of yourself and make your own decisions and everything, but when it's something like this, you should at least hear what other people have to say about what you're thinking. Even the smartest people make mistakes sometimes; that's why they test and test and test and talk with other smart people before they do anything drastic.

"I know you don't remember much before being…what you are, but when you were still the kid that I remember, we were really good friends. I really liked you a lot. You were nice and funny, and nothing ever seemed to upset you all that much. You were always the person that I could go to when I needed somebody, and I knew that you would always be willing to help me no matter what I was asking for. You would always put your friends—and even the people who didn't like you—before yourself.

"I couldn't believe it when I heard that you wouldn't be coming back to school after that day. The day you just…disappeared without a single trace. The next few days were hard to get through because I couldn't stop wondering why such a selfless, caring, responsible person would up and disappear like you did. I knew you couldn't have run away, that wasn't like you...but I never could've imagined that this is what happened…"

My hands began to tremble at his words, and my heart began to ache like someone had stabbed me and was twisting the knife asking sadistically, 'Does it hurt here? How about here?' But Tai wasn't finished. He gazed up at me with eyes that were suddenly very kind, very warm. They wanted me to understand. Needed for me to. And I had to try, or forever regret that I'd brushed off such sincere words, words that were clearly coming from a place deep within him.

"When the killing spree began, before I knew it was Digimon-related…I prayed every night that whoever it was didn't get you. I hoped with all my heart that you hadn't been the first to be taken. But now that I know that you're still alive, now that I finally have the chance to be with you again…maybe you can understand how hard it is to hear you say that you want to die. Maybe you can understand why it's so hard for Davis to just let this go like it doesn't matter.

"I don't think you realize just how strong and how deep friendship can run when you let it grow. It's the most powerful kind of love, because it can become every kind of love. It can move mountains and destroy demons, cross oceans without a boat and soar through the air without a plane. There's nothing that can't be done as long as you trust in the bonds that you make with other people, there's nothing that can hurt you or defeat you as long as you have the support of your friends pushing you forward all the time.

"And that's why I don't think you understand what it means to be a friend yet. You protect Davis and the others unselfishly and you stick around like you're glued to the guy, but you don't let anybody return it. I know that you're strong enough to protect yourself from physical stuff, but from what I've seen, your heart's a very fragile thing. Losing who you were to Devimon and his evil has completely destroyed any shred of what you used to be…and maybe that's why it's so hard to hear what you're saying.

"You're giving up, Moroamon. You're letting him win, and you're making it easy for him," I hid my face in my hands and tried desperately to cling to whatever sanity I had left as Tai's words continued to sting me and burn me and hurt. I knew it wasn't his intention, but I couldn't explain it. It was worse than anything Devimon had ever done. "But if you've made your decision…I'll miss you, Satu. And I promise never to forget you. None of us will." And with that, he left me alone.

Alone.

I didn't want to be alone right now. I didn't want to talk to anyone, but I needed to feel someone's warmth beside me, I needed it. The rain gave me no peace of mind aside from the fact that it disguised the pain streaming down my face as mere drops of water. The greatest disgrace would've befallen me if Devimon knew that I was crying, even if it was only these few that had leaked from the corners of my eyes.

Tai's words…they burned me inside and out and I didn't want to think about them, but I couldn't stop them from repeating over and over in my mind. He…was he right? Was this what Devimon had been hoping for if he'd been proven right about my disloyalty to him? Had that been the reason why he hadn't killed me himself, but had instead set me out into the world to bring about my own demise? Had he not wanted to put forth the effort to destroy me when he knew I could and would do it myself?

"No…no!" I clamped my hands over my ears and closed my eyes tightly, more tears leaking from my eyes, the saltiness stinging eyes that were not used to crying. Devimon's rich, mocking voice was in my head and I couldn't escape from it. I couldn't escape from him. "I don't want to listen to you! I don't want to listen to anybody! Leave me alone! You aren't in control of me anymore!" I leapt from my hiding spot and sprinted through the rain, rushed back into the building where I hoped to escape the voices that shouldn't be in my head.

I leaned against the doors for a moment, trying to calm myself, but I was interrupted by the end-of-the-day bell ringing. Before anyone had stepped foot out of their classroom, I leapt upwards and scampered inside the nearest air vent. Once out of sight, I dragged my knees up and wrapped my arms around them tightly, and brushed away any tears that still clung to my pale face. I sniffed once before settling my face against my arm.

I knew that I should go and find Davis; he would start to wonder if I was following someone else if I wasn't somewhere that he could see me, somewhere he could tell that I was all right. But I could barely breathe without a cry of pain escaping my lips, and I couldn't let anybody see me like this, not even Davis. Nobody could know that I was this conflicted about my decision…Nobody could know…

Nobody could know that Tai's words had made me afraid. Terrified to die if it meant that I was making the wrong choice.

Tai had brought up a notion that I hadn't thought of before, and that made me wonder if there were more that I hadn't even begun to conclude yet. What if there was a side to this that I could never have possibly imagined or come to on my own? What if there was a higher power involved in all of this, someone who was still controlling all of the chess pieces and was aiming to king himself at the end of it all? Was there someone still…still controlling every choice that I made? Was Devimon still using me?

I let out a shuddered sound of fear at the sound, attempted to smother it with my hand. Was Devimon trying to get me out of his way without even needing to lift a finger? Had he planned this from the start? Had he known all along that I would fail him, that I would fall under the spell that friendship could cast over the strongest to bring them to their knees before a heart that wished to know theirs? Had he hoped that I would so that he could be rid of me, so that I wouldn't interfere in something else that he had planned?

…Did he have something else planned?

Why did he want all of the DigiDestineds' souls? What good would they do? I…I'd been so eager to follow his orders that I hadn't even considered why he had me doing the things that he did. But someone who knew about some 'secret plan' surely would've let it slip by now if there had ever been one, so that notion was rather far-fetched. But still, I had to admit that I really had never had a clue. Devimon had made me smart, but had kept me dumb enough that I would never think to question him until it was too late.

Not knowing what else to do, I slipped through the vents until I picked up on Davis's scent, and followed it to find him outside with TK and Kari. All three were under umbrellas, something that no one had left their house without for a good long time now. I thought about going over to them for a brief moment, but thought better of it and stayed where I was, now outside the school, hidden in an alleyway just beyond the school grounds.

From where I leaned against the brick wall, I could hear them well, and I closed my eyes as I focused on their words. TK was saying something, and I'd caught him in the middle of something that he'd clearly been thinking for some time. "…good that she's come to. We can't afford to keep her around like some pet because if any one of us puts his or her guard down for even a second, she might go back on her word. I think it's good that we won't have to go through the trouble of getting rid of her—"

"TK, I think you're forgetting that there's still a human girl inside of that body," Kari said in a quiet voice, her face downcast and eyes watching the water group together and stream down the storm drains. "I know that it's especially hard for you to think that she was following orders given by Devimon, but she's not anymore. She's obviously sorry for what she's done and she wants to change, but she just doesn't know how because she's never known forgiveness before to know what to do with it once she has it. She's lost, and she needs us to guide her, not push her away. Despite everything she's done, you can't ignore that she's a living, breathing creature who's looking to die…"

She trailed off into a sad silence that didn't fit her character, but it was understandable. I seemed to have that kind of effect on most everyone. "Nobody should want to die…" Davis muttered under his breath, eyes looking off into the rain and away from his friends. I could sense his pain, feel that his thoughts and heart were with me. "No matter what the circumstances…nobody should want that…"

TK said nothing, looked around him like he expected me to pop out of nowhere and interrupt their conversation. Maybe he wanted me to so that he could try to change the subject. But he didn't try to do it on his own. "I know that…Do you think that if we went after Devimon again...?" He seemed unsure about his own suggestion, like he didn't want to but knew that he had to be strong if called upon.

"…Maybe," Kari turned towards TK, her eyes showing the same pain that his did. The intimate atmosphere that existed between them with so little stimulation made me uncomfortable even from this far away. But there was something about it that I couldn't help but envy. "She should know a lot about him and could probably tell us where to find him. Maybe even the easiest way to defeat him. Then she'd be helping us stop evil and also defeating her guilt by doing good at the same time.

"Davis, would that work?" They both turned their eyes on the boy who'd been around me the most, the boy who knew me the best out of all of them. There was a tiny glimmer of hope lighting up Kari's eyes, and Davis appeared to be deliberately ignoring it. Was he afraid that his answer would crush her? Or was he afraid to be wrong?

I didn't wait for his answer.


It was nighttime back at the Motomiya's home, and everyone aside from me was already in bed. DemiVeemon had tried to get me to come to Davis's room when they'd first been heading to go to sleep, but I'd refused to come along. He'd then come every hour on the hour to see if he could convince me, but I could not be swayed.

I stuck my hand out the glass door into the rain again, cupped it, and let it fill up with water. Just as it was about to overflow in my hand, I spread my fingers and watched as the bond of trust I'd made with the water was shattered. The sound of the rain crushed the dull noise that the water I'd caught made as it slapped against the ground. I stared blankly at the puddles, feeling angry and bitter all of a sudden.

Why was I feeling this towards the water?

While contemplating this, I brought my wet hand back to me and compared it to the other, which was still dry. One was darker than the other, the leather shiny and wet and the little bit of fur fluffy and clean. The other was lighter, but dusty. The leather was dull and worn, the black fur stiff and rough to the touch. I clenched my hands into fists, felt their power, for that was their only similarity at the moment.

I put my wet hand back out in the rain and let it soak for a moment before pulling it back in to observe again. The droplets of water, despite the cold temperature of my skin, dried rather quickly, and soon both hands were the same in every single way. The change was insignificant. It didn't matter. It was still the same no matter how many times I tried to change it.

That's why I was so angry.

"I can't make a change that'll last…because I'll always be this!" I growled to myself as I threw myself out onto the balcony, over the railing, sailing through the air to the roof across the street. I didn't look back once as I ran from roof to roof, uncaring if I were to miss and fall to the ground below me. It would hurt, of course it would, but I didn't care anymore. If it didn't kill me, it didn't matter. But I couldn't let myself die, either.

As I ran through the rain, not knowing where I was going, I felt hot tears stream down my face. They came too fast for the rain to be able to brush them away, wash the sting from my eyes. But I no longer cared how pathetic I was. I'd always been pathetic, even when I'd been the strongest Digimon to ever walk the face of either world. I'd been Devimon's stupid little puppet all along, and that made me scum, worse than scum.

A bellow filled with agony tore through the placid night, and it took a moment for me to realize that it had been my own voice that was so anguished. But it didn't change anything about me. The rain that pounded down heavily upon me, it didn't change anything, either. It soaked me to the bone, but it could never change anything more than that. Was there nothing that could change me for the better?

Devimon's voice rung loudly in by head like a gong, like the bell sounding at midnight to tell me that time was running out, that if I didn't do something quick the spell would be permanent. But I didn't know what to do to stop it, I didn't know how to fix it. I wanted to find some hope, some little ray of light that could help guide me to the answer, the solution to all of my problems, but…there was nothing to find. I could search forever, but I'd never find anything.

I grunted with the effort of jumping from the roof I was on, had to focus hard to land where I wanted to some hundred feet away. Now holding tight to the top of the light pole I'd leapt to, I paused and scanned the area that I'd unknowingly brought myself to. Just across the street was a small park with a pond in the center, a few benches around it, but they were rotten and old. No one had come here in search of a good time for a very long while.

This was the place that I had used to come into and leave the human world while in Japan.

But even through the blurriness of the rain and my own tears, there was something else that was familiar about it. It was like the feeling I'd gotten in that alley some time ago, when I'd told that Dokugumon to get out of the city before I took him out of the world. I hopped from the street light over to the grass and walked slowly into the park, feeling strange as it continued to look more and more familiar to me.

It wasn't that I'd come through here on my journeys to and from the Digital World, it was something more than that. As I neared the pond, I rested my hand against an engraving in one of the old trees, ran my fingers over the letters there before I moved my hand to see what they actually were. My muscles froze and my breath shuddered when I saw them: SH. Satu Himiaku. Me. Human me.

But…that's not really me anymore…is it? I raked my claws below the letters; if I'd left a mark before, I should leave a new one. One that was better fit to who I was now. 'There is a big difference between you and the girl who did all that!'…'Back when you were still you, we used to be really good friends. I liked you a lot back then.' Remembering the words that Davis and Tai had spoken brought me to my knees, water and mud splashing as I hit the ground.

A crumpled cry slipped from strained lips as I swung my fist hard into the ground. "…I'd bring her back to you if I could, Tai…and I want to be a good person, Davis, but…the girl who could…" I crawled over to the edge of the pond, stared at my choppy reflection in the water, never settling due to the constant downpour. But I knew what I was even without the pond confirming it. I slapped hard at the cold water as more tears burned my face. "She's not me!"

Pain rocketed through my body like I'd been hurt by something, but there was no external wound to blame. But I could feel the blood seeping from a gash in my soul, the throb of agony that each beat of my heart brought down upon me, and I knew that these weren't wounds that would heal rapidly like all the others I'd ever had. Perhaps these wounds would never heal-

My train of thought ended abruptly and body stiffened, a deep growl drawn from my throat when I sensed a presence behind me. Turning slowly around to see who'd been so daring as to creep up on me unannounced, I was met by the gray gaze of a man who looked to be in his late twenties or early thirties. His brunette hair was darker than it probably should've been due to the rain, and his loose cream-hued robes were damp as well. But the rain didn't seem to bother him, and neither did my appearance, though he appeared to be an ordinary man with odd tastes in clothes.

But his scent was not that of an ordinary man. "What do you want? I'm busy," The words I'd chosen struck me as a bit odd, however I didn't think much about them since they'd already been said. Instead I began to brush the rain and tears from my face, hoping that the man had been unable to tell the difference between the two. Though my raw voice gave me a way. "Well?"

"…Busy mourning the loss of something you never lost, but merely misplaced?" The man's words struck me hard, like a sharp slap to the face. How long had he been watching me fall apart like this to be able to make such an assumption? "You won't find your soul here. It's back with Devimon in the Digital World. You're going to have to fight him for it, Moroamon. Or should I call you Satu?

"I suppose I'll just call you Moroamon for now, until you're comfortable with your real name again," There was a small, almost amused smile playing on his lips now, and it made me feel…weird. This man smelled neither of human or Digimon, and yet he was clearly a very intelligent and smooth being. His voice tempted you to listen, urged you to believe and trust in each word that he spoke. Had I ever met such a creature before? "You can call me Gennai. I'm a friend of yours; I know the DigiDestined quite well, too."

Gennai… I couldn't recall if Devimon had ever mentioned him before. But if Davis and the others knew him… "Gennai…?" His name glided from my lips like it was satin. The mysterious aura he gave off made me feel very comfortable with him, like there was no one who could find me as long as I was with him. I felt safe with Gennai. "…When you say that what I've lost has only been misplaced…what do you really mean?" I cocked my head to the side and water dripped down from my pricked ears, alert and waiting for his answer.

"I mean exactly what I said," The man replied as he removed an umbrella from his sleeve as if by magic, opening it as he came to stand next to where I was crouched upon the ground. He held the umbrella over me for the most part, so I scooted closer so that he'd be able to shield himself from the rain as well. "You seek what was taken from you five years ago, when you should be going after what you let go of instead.

"You've had what you needed to be free of Devimon's power this entire time, you know, it was just that the DigiDestined were able to unlock it from the dungeon you hid it in so long ago. They gave you a foothold with which you were able to boost yourself up from the fog just long enough to taste fresh air. They threw you a rope when you were hanging off the side of a cliff, but it's up to you how far you climb back up.

"What you lost was the courage to decide what you were going to do with the life that you had, no matter what you were. You hid your bravery away inside yourself when your humanity was taken and replaced with a Digimon's form. You traded that bravery for unlimited power. You knew that you would never have to worry about anything ever again as long as you were the strongest; you thought that in order to make it through life as a Digimon you had to be invincible or you would be killed.

"But you failed to remember that you had power already as a human. Humans demonstrate power when they do what is right when faced with the wrong option as well, when the wrong option seems much more appealing than doing what's right. For example, being quiet and paying attention in class instead of talking. Or letting down the walls around your heart instead of enforcing them with barbed wire and men armed with pistols.

"Moroamon, you have to understand that though the emotions you feel right now are very strong, they are not there just to make you hurt. They point you towards what you must do next, but you have to read them carefully or you will read them wrong. You read them very, very wrong when you thought that you were meant to die. If you die, we will all be lost.

"Your emotions are trying to guide you to what you had misplaced before but are now able to take up: your free will. It's yours now to do as you please with, just as it always was. And, you should know, the first trial you'll have to face is very big. Devimon has come to the human world in search of the last component he needs for his plan, and this puts your friends in great danger. He wants to free Daemon from the Dark Ocean, but first needs to open the gate to said other world. He needed DigiDestined souls to be able to trade for his master, and only needs one more before he'll have all he needs.

"The decision you face is very simple: You can run away in shame and pain because of your past, forever remembering that you were a coward and abandoned the only people who ever truly cared for you, or you can pick yourself up off the ground, get your wits about you once more, and go tell Devimon exactly what that little girl should have told him five years ago. Go now and defeat your past so you can have your future back." The rain pounded down upon me once more, and I glanced up to see that Gennai was gone.

But his words remained with me.

I didn't know how Gennai knew all these things about Devimon, and I didn't know how he knew all of these things about me. I didn't know who he was or what he was or if I should've been calling him a 'he' at all, because for all I knew whatever he was didn't even have a gender. I didn't know how he'd known where to find me or how he'd disappeared like he had. But if I knew one thing, it was that I knew Devimon, and I knew Daemon.

And I believed every word that Gennai had said about them, and about me.

Rising quickly to my feet, I tested the wind for that scent that I knew so well, and shuddered when it wandered through my lungs like a man with a knife. Devimon was here, and for the first time in my life, I would be saving the humans he was threatening, and hunting him instead. I could only hope that I would be successful enough to survive with this collar on.

My feet carried me as fast as they could through the rain, body forcing itself to jump as far as possible as rapidly as I could throw myself forward. I knew where he was; his scent was so strong in the atmosphere here, like a trail of fire was leading me right to him. He was at Tai Kamiya's home, or just outside it. I couldn't quite remember, but I thought that Davis had mentioned another meeting, but had said that I didn't have to come if I didn't want to. At that time, I hadn't, and now I knew that if I had, I never would've survived. No one would've.

Hopefully I'm not too late. I turned the final corner, but slid to a stop in a puddle hidden by thick darkness. I stared up into the rain from the shadows that hid me, that had hidden me for years now, and watched him float there. Devimon was there in the sky, hovering before a window that he'd obviously broken. There was a twisted grin on his face, the one he wore when he was very pleased. Very pleased.

In his hand, clamped tightly, was Patamon. I could hear the demon man's voice from hear as well as Patamon's noises of struggle. He was saying how he needed a holy soul in order to finally open the gate, and that Patamon's would be perfect. It was then, as he was speaking, that I began to climb up the side of the building, working through a simple plan in my head as I neared the being who had tormented and corrupted me for five long years.

But no more.

The demon's smell grew stronger and stronger as I drew closer; I'd never realized how incredibly foul it was. The wall was slippery and it took all my focus to be able to scale it without being noticed by Devimon or any of his invisible attendants, though, so I did my best to pay attention to what I was doing. I'd seen Devimon every day for years, so I didn't need to pay him any mind now.

As I drew closer I slowed; I blended in to the night as well as he did, but that meant that it was possible that he could see me as easily as I could him. If he saw me before I intended, then Patamon would die and so would I. And if no one stopped Devimon before he opened that gate, then countless others would lose their lives as well. And that could not happen.

I felt my stomach tighten for a moment and feared that it might growl, but let out a small breath of relief when it settled once again. I paused in my movements; this was as close as I ought to be getting to him. From here I could see the DigiDestined children inside Tai's apartment, I could see TK's face contorted in horror and pain and fear at the scene that was unfolding before him, a scene that he'd seen many times before this. A scene that still haunted him when the light wasn't as strong as he'd like it to be.

Intent on putting a stop to that nightmare before it began, I pounced. Every muscle in my body was coiled and ready, but Devimon was far from prepared. Spinning my body around to gain power, I swung my foot out and felt a wave of ecstasy pound through my body when he turned to see what was happening and my foot collided with his face. Patamon flew from his hand and into TK's surprised arms.

As Devimon plummeted to the flooded street below us, I flung myself to the side and was able to grab onto the balcony railing. From there, I stared down at the bellowing, raging form of my former master, watched as he regained his whereabouts, as he realized what had happened and who'd just attacked him. Strabimon appeared at his side but was slapped away as scarlet, loathing eyes bored through me, condemned me to eternal hell.

Was I afraid of him, of Devimon? Yes, only a fool would be unafraid of such a being wishing damnation upon you. But would I back down from him? No, not this time. And never again.

I spat at him, though I was unsure whether or not he'd be able to tell my saliva apart from the rain. A mere second after I'd done this slightly childish act, I felt a warm hand touch mine, and glanced up expecting to see Davis. But this was not Davis, nor was it Tai or anyone else that would dare to touch me. It was TK. And he was smiling.

"…Is something wrong?" I inquired slowly as I pulled myself up so that I was eye-to-eye with the blond. TK had handed Patamon to Kari while I'd been preoccupied with my assessment of Devimon. I assumed that it was for safekeeping while he was out here talking with me. I wasn't sure what he was thinking that was making him touch me in such a gentle and kind way, or what had crossed his mind that made him smile.

But I was especially unprepared for when the one DigiDestined who had hated me the very most wrapped his arm around me and held me tightly to himself. Blonde hair tickled my chin as his head fell against my collarbone, and his scent was like how velvet felt to the skin. My breath shuddered as my body tried to convince my mind that this was really happening. Could it even be possible that this moment was real?

"I'm so sorry, Moroamon," The voice that had once been quick to spurn me whispered, the boy's hold on me tightening ever so slightly. "I was wrong about you. I was so wrong—I've never been more wrong about anything before in my life! I should never have doubted you. I forgive you for what happened, and I can only ask that you could forgive me, too, for being such a fool and a jerk to you…" I felt TK tremble for a moment, and I instinctively wrapped an arm around him as tightly as I dared.

I was silent for a moment, completely in shock by what was going on and still not really believing that it was real as I replied with a smile that came easy, "Don't worry. I would've doubted me, too, if I'd been in your shoes. But it…" I paused for a moment and my smile wavered, but then it came back to me and I wrapped by other arm around the boy as well. "But you have no idea how much it means to me that you care."

TK gave a small laugh as we pulled apart, and it was at that moment that I realized that he'd been trying not to let a few tears fall from his eyes. He rubbed them away the moment I noticed them, and replaced them with a smile. "You saved Patamon by kicking that piece of dirt in the face, so how could I not?" I returned his grin, but his words reminded me that my job was not finished.

I removed my hands from their place on his shoulders and stared down at the devil below me. He seemed to be waiting for me. I gulped and looked up at the DigiDestined once more. Depending on how things went…perhaps for the last time. But I forced that smile again, the one that now came to me so simply that I couldn't help but wonder why it had been so difficult to make it appear before. I thought it was fitting that they see a natural grin from me at least once.

"I want to thank all of you for what you've done for me. I know exactly where I'd be today if it wasn't for you, and it's not a nice place at all. I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you, directly or indirectly. But you have to know that I am thankful for every moment, every breath, every single second that I spent with you, that I cherish every word each of you spoke to me…and every kindness you've ever bestowed upon me.

"It was wrong for me to try to dictate something that was never mine to control. It was wrong for me to try to end my life, no matter what I did or didn't do. I'm sorry for that, and I'm especially sorry for frightening you. Please know that, though foolish and misguided, I had the best of intentions. But now I know what I truly must do to make right what I've wronged, to truly be worthy of the privilege of being your friend: I must destroy my past. Then I'll find my future."

I turned away from them then, but paused as my gaze rested on Davis. The boy who'd been the very first to show me the kindness and friendship that had brought me back to the world of the living. The boy who loved a girl named Kari. The boy that I would've and still would give anything for. The boy I was about to risk everything for. "And I hope you're all a part of it when I get there." And without another word, I leapt down from the balcony railing, ready to meet with Fate for the final time.