Alright! Stay awesome!... No Prussia intended.
Prussia: ALL ZE PRUSSIA INTENED!
PRUSSIA LEAVE IT'S NOT YOUR TIME YET!
Prussia: But zis is ze 12th chapter and ze awesome me hasn't made an awesome entrance yet!
SHUT UP YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU BRO & I PROMISE I WON'T FORGET YOU!
Prussia: … Oh fine.
Good boy.
Prussia: I AM NOT ZE DOG!
:D
"Ow ow OW!"
"Lees! Get offa him!"
I looked up from the man's back I was kneeling on, digging my knees into his spine, pinning his arms behind his back with one hand and gripping him by his hair with my other. "… What?" I asked in a daze. I could've sworn I had just been asleep in my bed, yet here I was causing probably unbearable pain to this guy who was both taller and most certainly stronger than me. … Wait… Yes, there had been a scream. One of my friends had screamed. Almost instantly it seemed, I'd been down from my loft bed, out of my room and down the stairs, then I'd rushed the first non-female figure I'd seen. Yes, that was how I'd gotten here.
I looked down as the man screamed again.
"S'il vous plait!" he howled. "Je me rends! Avoir pitié!"
That and the shoulder-length wavy blond hair made me recognize him.
Oh fudge.
I immediately scrambled off of France, releasing his arms and hair and letting him breathe again. "G-Geez France!" I exclaimed, a bit horrified at what I'd just done. "I'm sorry about that! I heard a scream and I just… I just…" Aw heck, I didn't even know!
France pushed himself up into a sitting position, first pressing his hands against his back and arching backwards, then rolling his shoulder, and then rubbing his hair. "Do not worry about, ma Cherie," he said with a genuine smile, which made me go, How can he possibly be okay with that?! I just assaulted him! "No 'arm done; I've been zrough worse."
Still, after I stood I offered my hand to France and helped him up. That was a bit of a mistake because once he was on his feet he didn't release my hand. Instead, he pulled me into his embrace and held me close. "Besides," he said seductively, his face not far from mine. "I do not mind ze aggressive type."
In a Ranma-ish fashion, my fist hit France's face at the exact same time my friends' elbows came down on his head, making France crumble to the ground.
I stood by my friends, watching those odd round, anime lumps form on France's head. "So who screamed?" I asked as I went to the freezer.
"I did." I heard Mari say. "I just came downstairs to get breakfast started when I found him in the kitchen. He didn't try anything; he just startled me, that's all."
"And the rest of you?" I asked as I shut the freezer door, icepack in hand as I faced my friends.
"I was coming down for my morning chai tea." Safi said.
"I was getting hungry so I was coming down for some food." said Zara.
"Zara dragged me out of bed because she wanted me to make her waffles." Alex added.
"Then we heard Mari." They said together.
I nodded in acknowledgement, then I walked over to France and put the icepack on the large bump. I really did feel sorry for him. He hadn't known what was coming. "Help me carry him to the couch?" I asked my friends, but then the country stood up by himself.
France held the icepack to his head with one hand and put the other on his hip. He didn't look beat-up anymore; in fact he stood up strait and tall with a dashing smile. How could he recover so fast? He reminded me of someone… Hm… "Well I must say zat I am impressed!" he said. "When you ladies zreatoned me a few days ago, I must say zat I didn't quite believe you. You don't exactly look like ze type 'oo could take down a full-grown man, especially you," he said to me. "'Ow did you do zat exactly?" he asked.
To be honest, I had no idea. True none of us were very strong, but I was for sure the weakest of our group.
"I don't know," I said. "Adrenaline I guess."
France tipped his head briefly to the side and nodded. "Well anyways, I promise now zat I won't make any more advances on you, Mademoiselles. Although," France winked flirtatiously. "I am a completely unstoppable flirt."
I sighed, "Fair enough." I said tiredly, but then I gave a small smile.
No one said anything for a while, then Zara burst out "FRANCE YOU READ DIRTY BOOKS!"
"… Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?"I, the rest of my friends, and France all said.
"Don't you guys remember?" Zara asked. "When we were in the meeting building hiding in the closet, we found all those dirty books in there! Well who else's would they be?"
"Zara!" Safi exclaimed exasperatedly. "You don't just go and say that!"
"But what if it's true?" Alex asked. "Wouldn't that make sense? You're kind of a perv France."
France nodded a bit. "While zat is true," he said. "I do not look at dirty books. Why use zose when you can have ze real zing?" France smiled seductively.
"TMI!" I shouted.
"True," Mari said. "Although that does make sense."
I thought about it for a moment, then I said, "So it does. Still, if they weren't France's whose were they?"
"I honestly don't care," Mari stopped me. "and personally I'd rather not know."
"… Yeah," my friends and I agreed.
Before anything else could be said, France sniffed the air, his eyes widened and he rushed to our oven, throwing on some oven mists and opening it. "Ouf!" he exclaimed in a relieved voice. "My croissants didn't burn!"
A smell that was something close to heavenly wafted from the oven, being visible only because it is an anime. Also due to the anime-ness, me and my friends' faces changed to absurd drooling ones. We hadn't eaten since we'd made England breakfast, if you didn't count the failed teatime, and we were starving.
France noticed our faces and chuckled. "Once it cools, you may eat." He told us.
We waited the last possible amount of time before eating the croissants. We burned our mouths, but we didn't care.
"Mon dieu," France said as he watched us stuff our faces, despite the fact that our faces were smoking. "Why are you all so 'ungry?"
"Werfhafetnsesyesday!" Zara said with her mouth full.
"She said we haven't eaten since yesterday." Safi explained.
"Porquoi?" France asked.
Mari swallowed her steaming food before answering, "We didn't really get the chance to eat any food."
"I suppose zat would be for ze best," France said with a smug smile. "It's better zat you not eat England's food."
"So France, how'd you get in here anyway? I'm positive I locked the door last night." Alex said before eating another croissant like it was the simplest thing in the world, when in reality, did that count as breaking-and-entering?
"Well getting into any 'ouse is easy if you 'ave ze key!" France said smartly as he pulled out a house key. Wait a second. That was my house key.
"Hey!" I protested with food in my mouth like a sir. "I was looking for that!"
France laughed and tossed me the key. "I was wondering 'oose this was." he said.
Not long after that, the doorbell rang. Wait, we have a doorbell? No one had used it since we moved in.
"I'll get it!" Zara exclaimed as she jumped up and ran for the door. We could hear her talking to the person outside for a bit, then she yelled inside, "Hey guys! Do we know a Slamz?"
"Slamz?" Safi asked.
"Yeah! S-L-A-M-Z, SLAMZ!"
"… Wait a second. SLAMZ, that's us! Safi, Lees, Alex, Mari and Zara!"
"Oh! Well then, can I get some help guys? I don't want to drop this."
Intrigued, France, my friends and I got up to see what Zara needed help holding. We found her standing in the doorway holding a large bouquet of flowers in a glass vase. It was Zara, so it was probably a good idea to take it. So France took it from her and brought it over to the table.
"Who's it from?" Alex asked.
I pulled down the little tag on the flowers that said, 'To: S, L, A, M & Z' on the front. Opening it, I read aloud, "Dear S, L, A, M &Z, I am terribly sorry for yesterday. I believe that wanker America must have snuck in and spiked my tea. Anyway, I wish that you hadn't seen me in such an unstately manor, especially you Mari. I beg forgiveness for advancing on you in a most ungentlemanly way. I promise that when I see you next I will most certainly not be drunk. With love, England."
We all turned to look at Mari. She was blushing profusely, refusing to meet anyone's eyes, but she couldn't hide the smile on her face.
"Ohonhonhon, what exactly 'appened yesterday?" France asked pervily.
My friends and I looked at each other. Finally, I said in a fast voice, "Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift that's why it's called the present* so let's get a move on people!"
Everyone took my cue and we raced upstairs, got ready and meet France back downstairs. He, like England, would be walking us to his house. Across the ocean. I still didn't get that.
"Hey wait guys," Alex said as we all trooped down the path. "There's something in the mailbox."
Sure enough, the flag was up. Alex reached inside and pulled out a letter. "Alfred f. Jones," she read aloud. "Do we know an Alfred?"
"Zat would be America's 'uman name. We all use 'uman names for public situations." France explained. "What does it say?" he asked, smiling mischievously as he reached for the letter.
Alex whipped the letter out of France's reach. "I believe it's addressed to 'the Dudettes', not France. It's illegal to read other people's mail, at least in America, so hands off."
The rest of us took that as a cue to gather around Alex and read over her shoulders. The handwriting was extremely hard to read, but I'm one to talk. It read, 'Heya dudettes! I saw that you put what I gave you to good use! Nice job Alex! You shoulda seen England this morning! He was totally under a blanket having a major hangover yo! It was freakin' hilarious! Anywho England already blames me, so don't worry about being found out or anything. It's no problem for me, so just forget about it and go have some fun with Francy-pants! But if he tries anything just call the hero and I'll come rescue you! I hope you get this letter cuz I haven't written one for a while now and I have no idea if I did it right. –America'
"Aw, that's so sweet!" Alex said happily.
"In a weird way," Safi said what we were all thinking.
Nevertheless, Alex still folded up the letter and put it in her pocket.
From there, France led us to his place. Again, we weren't paying much attention. Safi, Alex and Mari were practicing their French with France, while Zara and I tried desperately to use our knowledge of Spanish and our minute knowledge of French to decipher what they were saying. Needless to say it didn't work out too well. So instead Zara and I pretended to speak French by plugging our noses and saying the few French words we knew with outrageous French accents. We earned some laughs from our friends and some hurt looks from France, but we were able to convince him that we were just kidding.
Just as before, in hardly any time at all we ended up in Paris.
"Welcome to Paris!" France exclaimed, and in one flamboyant and rather sparkly moment, he whipped five red roses out of thin air. "For you, ma cherries," he said with a sweeping bow as he held out the roses and we each took one.
Safi must be having a really good day, I thought as I watched her hold her rose tenderly. First a big bouquet of flowers, then roses, geez.
"So whadaya got planned for us Francy-pants?" Zara asked.
"Well," France said with a smile. "I zought first we could go to ze Lourve-"
Alex and I gasped. "The Louvre?" she asked. "Did you just say the Louvre?"
France looked at me curiously. "Oui," he said.
I clasped my hands over my mouth, trying desperately not to completely flip out. "You're serious right now? You're not joshing me?"
"… Non…"
"… Omigosh, omigosh we're going to the Louvre! Guys! We're going to one of the largest art museums on the planet! Oh my frikin' gosh!"
"Are you meaning to tell me zat you are also an art fans?" France asked a bit excitedly.
"That's an understatement," Mari said with a grin.
"THANK YOU!" Alex and I cried, and we actually hugged the perv. I know, not smart right? But we were too euphoric to care.
Luckily, France stayed true to his word and didn't try anything. Instead he grabbed our hands and we both began jumping up and down in excitement. The rest of our friends eventually joined us just for the heck of it. We must've been quite the sight: five American girls and a flamboyant Frenchman celebrating like this out in the open, but I couldn't care less.
"Well what are we waiting for?!" France exclaimed. "Allons-y!" and he ran for the Louvre, the rest of us close behind. When we got there, my first thought was, Wow. That is big. I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised but,… Geez, was it huge!
"How are we going to do this?" Mari asked. "There's no way we can see the whole thing in one day."
I tried not to melt out of sadness like Tamaki Sempai.
"I have an idea!" Alex spoke up. "Let's have a contest!"
"What sort of competition are we talking about?" France said, interested.
Alex took her smartphone out of her pocket. "Everyone gets a half hour to run around different sections of the Louvre, taking pictures together in some sort of album. The person to take the most pictures wins."
Everyone thought that sounded like fun, so France got each of us a map. He would take each of us to our designated sections, he'd be checking in on us during the hour, making sure we were okay and stuff.
"Remember," Mari said as we all got our phones ready. "They have to be good pictures. No blurry run-byes, that means you Zara."
"Aw man!"
France took us all to our sections. I was the last to reach mine, so I got to see lots of art on the way.
Needless to say, I was pretty happy.
Soon we were all ready to go and France sent the starting text. As soon as I received it, I was off. I passed so many different works as we went, but I could only glance at them as we went by. My section was The Italian Renaissance, which made me even happier because this was one of my favorite periods in history.
I passed St. Sebastian, Portrait of Baldassare Castiglione, and St. John the Baptist; Christ Carrying the Cross, The Allegory of the Liberal Arts, and Portrait of Il Condottiero stopping to marvel at them all. Each one was a challenge to pull myself way from, but I wanted to see as much as I possibly could. The Battle of San Romano, The Wedding Feast at Cana, The Pastoral Concert; The Beautiful Nani, The Entombment of Christ, St. Michael Slaying the Devil, all were beautiful, but it wasn't until I found a certain one that I froze.
I saw it on the screen of my phone first, then I lowered it to see the real thing. I couldn't believe it. I was standing in front of the real Mona Lisa. How many times had I seen pictures of this painting, but here was the real deal. I, like many others, was mystified by her. There was the smile, although de Vinci often painted people with smirks, hers actually went down on one side and up on the other. Then there was the uneven background, but that could be explained by a simple change in elevation, and then the large hands. I was a minor supporter of the theory that the Mona Lisa could be de Vinci's idea of what he would have looked like as a girl, which could explain the hands, but I still didn't know. It was truly a masterpiece. I idolized Leonardo de Vinci. I thought he was a complete genius, and he was. I mean, he had ideas for parachutes, tanks, helicopters and many more, centuries before they were invented. He had also revolutionized art for the whole world. I could only dream of ever being even remotely like him.
Eventually though, I would have to keep going, so I took a good picture of the Mona Lisa, took one last gaze at her, then I tore myself away.
It wasn't long after that when I saw someone familiar. A long ways down the hall, there was a small girl, about my age, taking pictures of artwork with her phone. The girl had black hair with purple streaks.
"Zara." I growled as I started to run towards her. This was my section! I wasn't going to let her sabotage my minute chances of winning. Screw the fact that there was no prize, Zara was going to get PWND.
My target saw me coming only when I was about ten feet away. She shrieked, unable to hide her huge smile, and took off. Zara may be faster than me, but I was already going full-steam ahead by the time she'd just began running, so I soon caught up to her. Well, more like barreled (BARRELS**) into her.
Carried by our momentum, we rolled several feet in a ball before I finally pinned her beneath me. "Zara!" I puffed, nearly out of energy. "This is my section! What're you doing here?!"
Zara giggled crazily, puffing not nearly as much as I was. "I'm going to win Leesy." She said evilly, and before I could stop her Zara poked her fingers into my sides.
I yelped and my legs automatically launched me off of and away from Zara, allowing her to jump up and escape. "ZARAAAAAAA!" I screamed at her, but Zara just sped accelerated crazy-fast and out of sight, laughing like the madwoman she is. Sighing, I picked myself up off the floor, mentally cursing how out-of-shape I was, and continued taking pictures, not allowing myself as much time to look at the art as I had before.
~~Art timeskip~~
When I got the 'time's up' text, I put my phone away and took out my map. Luckily I'm no Ryoga; I have a sense of direction and can use a map, so I soon made it to our meeting place. All my friends and France were there already, but it didn't seem like they'd been there for long. Zara and I exchanged competitive glances and I greeted the others.
"Alright, mon amis," France said. "Who 'as ze most pictures?"
Dangit! I thought to myself as we gave our results. I had the least out of everyone! To make matters worse, Zara was in the lead!
"How about you Safi?" Alex asked. "How many do you have?"
"About 200."
"200?!" We exclaimed, and I'm pretty sure my eyes bugged out of my head. "How'd you get 200 in half an hour?!"
Safi shrugged nonchalantly.
I looked down at my meager 30-ish. Geez! What, had I spent an entire minute at each one?!
"May I see?" Mari asked and Safi gave Mari her phone. Mari's eyes widened. "They're all really good too," she said. "These aren't run-byes."
"Well yeah," Safi said. "I stopped to look at each one."
We all stared at her for the longest time.
"She really is the Ghost Queen!" Zara burst out laughing.
"Logic don't apply to Safi!" I grinned happily as I put my arm around her shoulders. "Which isn't the first time I've said that." I said to France. "It was true even in our world! She once made a paperclip stand strait up on its own!"
"I remember that!" Alex said with a grin. "That was cool."
France meanwhile was a bit creeped out. "Zat is creepy…" he said nervously. "It sounds a bit like zat evil Russia!"
"… You think I'm evil?" Safi asked, tears welling up in her eyes.
"France! Stop making her cry!" I yelled at him angrily. Mari immediately took Safi into her arms, stroking her hair and saying, "It's okay, it's okay." Zara was also hugging Safi, trying to cheer her up and saying she's not evil. I joined them in the hug-fest, leaving Alex to give France a good hard kick in the shin before joining us.
France was clutching his shin in pain, but he looked genuinely sorry. "J'regrete, mon ami," he said as he pulled an entire bouquet of flowers out of thin air and gave it to Safi. "I didn't mean it. Please forgive me."
Safi poked her head out of the mass of arms. Freeing one of her arms, she dashed the tears out of her eyes and took the flowers. When she inhaled their sent and smiled, we knew that all was forgiven.
France saw this and smiled too. " 'Ow about a complementary tour?" he offered.
Everyone looked at Safi, who nodded, then we were off.
~~More art! YAY!~~
We spent a good amount of time there in the Louvre, France giving his own personal commentary, which was exceedingly interesting since he was actually there for a lot of what he talked about. I have so much to say about it, but I know that if I do I'll probably end up blabbering about history and art and I doubt you guys find that stuff as interesting as I do so I'll just skip ahead to when we left the Louvre.
When we left the art museum of awesomeness, we basically walked around Paris the rest of the day, making much better time than we would've hadn't we been with a country since he could basically transport us across the city. We went to Notre Dame and we sang 'God Save the Outcast' in the light of that huge, round, absolutely beautiful stained glass window, (which I spent a few minutes just staring at), 'Out There', when we visited the bell tower, and 'The Bells of Notre Dame' here, there and everywhere. In fact, I'm pretty sure we went through the entire soundtrack of The Hunchback of Notre Dame, and I'll even admit I was looking around for Quasimodo, or at least his ghost.
We also went to the Arc de Triumph, which Zara tried to scale and the French police came after us, so that was an adventure. Thankfully, Monsieur Bonnefoy (France's human name) apparently has a lot of influence in this town.
Then we went on a tour of France via the River Seine, in which Alex and Zara almost fell overboard several times. That, combined with some other stuff, was why we were asked to never tour with that organization ever again. Thankfully France didn't seem too upset about it.
"It's about dinnertime," France said thoughtfully. " 'Ow would you mademoiselles like to sample some delicacies and eat some dinner?"
We were all getting hungry again, so we agreed. France took us to a stereotypical but cute quaint little French restaurant on a street corner. "Now you shall taste ze pinnacle of cuisine!" France said, becoming very flamboyant and sparkly again, and I finally figured out who France reminded me of. Tamaki Sempai. He was half French right? I looked at France. Yup. Definitely French.
"Bonjour, mademoiselle," he addressed the waitress that came up to us. Then he went off ordering in French, so I didn't get a word of it beyond 'Si vu play.' "Isn't French a beautiful language?" he asked us as the waitress walked away. "Much better zan English if you ask me. I never bozer to remember zat ugly language."
Wait.
"Um, excuse me, France?" Mari finally spoke up and asked France. "Haven't you been speaking in English to us?"
France opened his eyes to look at Mar. "What are you talking about?" he asked. "I'm not speaking English, and neizer are you."
"… Wait, what?" I asked, then I immediately gasped. I wasn't speaking English! I didn't know what we were speaking; it didn't sound Romantic, Germanic, Russian, Middle Eastern, Pacific Islander, Asian, or like anything I've ever heard, yet we all knew it fluently.
"What language is this?" Safi asked, paying attention to the words that came out of her own mouth.
"It is ze language of ze countries," France explained. "All countries speak it, and you girls came speaking it, which is part of why we couldn't let you go." France looked at us curiously. "You didn't even know you were speaking it?" he asked. "We figured wherever you came from, it was a common language."
We all shook our heads. "But that doesn't make sense," Alex protested. "We've spoken to normal people since we came here, and they've understood us fine."
" 'Aven't you noticed?" France asked. "Zey've all been English-speakers. You must 'ave been unconsciously slipping between the two."
"What about the other countries?" Zara asked. "I remember some of them talking to English speakers."
France smiled a bit. "Most countries know at least a minute amount of English," he said. "I am ze stubborn exception."
I know how that is, I thought to myself, then I leaned back in my chair to really think about it. I did remember learning somewhere that many Europeans know a good amount of English, since apparently it's an important language. Also, now that I thought about it, when we'd bought the house, America and England had done most of the talking, and when we'd gone out to eat I vaguely recalled those two explaining to other countries what those dishes were, and many of the countries had just pointed to what they wanted on the menu. Weird I hadn't noticed that before.
"… Is he right?" I asked, making a conscious attempt to speak English, and it worked.
"Yeah, I think so." Safi said in English also. We turned to look at France and we could tell by his face that he didn't understand us.
"I can't believe we didn't notice this before," Mari used out native language.
"Cool!" Zara exclaimed. "Cool, cool! Cool, cool!" she said, going back and forth between English and the countries' language.
"How long have we been doing this?" Alex wondered in English.
"Excusez-moi," France said. "Could you please use countries' language so I can understand what you're saying?"
"Sorry," Mari switched back as requested. "We were just wondering how we suddenly knew this language. It doesn't even exist in our world."
France looked confused. "Are you sure?" he asked.
"Yeah," Alex confirmed. "Countries don't have personifications in our world."
"Unless they're a secret," Safi said, her eyes widening in wonder.
"Whoa!" Zara exclaimed. "What if there really are people-countries in our world and we just didn't know about them? Talk about a mind-blower!"
"Non," France interrupted. "You would know if zere were 'people-countries' in your world. It's common knowledge."
I thought about that for a moment before saying, "Wait, then why do you guys keep saying that the countries are a secret?"
"Ze fact zat we are ze personifications is ze secret," France explained. "Not ze fact zat we exist. As countries, we try to keep our identities secret, which is why we have 'uman names. And anyway, it's not a very well-kept secret. Many soldiers in ze armies we command personally come to know us for 'oo we are."
"… Ohhhhhhhh," My friends and I said all at once, finally getting it. Just in time too; our food was coming.
I typically like foreign foods, so I was excited to try some French food, but as the food was coming closer, I saw something that made me remember a certain joke. Here it is: What would you say if a snail sped past you in a car with a great big S on the side? 'Look at that S-car go!' Say it out loud. Go on, say it! S-car go. Escargot. Get it? Sure wasn't funny at the time.
Maybe they won't look like snails, I thought to myself hopefully, and I was partially right. They weren't slimy, but they were green-ish and still in the shells, so there went that idea. Come on Lees, you're not a picky eater anymore, remember? It'll probably taste fine. It's supposed to be salty, right? You like salty stuff. Yeah, but not when it's green. Well you at least have to say you've tried it before you go dis it. Luckily for me though, more food was coming, so maybe trying escargot could be prevented, or at least postponed. Procrastination let's go***. However, my hopes were soon dashed when I saw what the other food was.
"Um," Safi asked, awkwardly eyeing the food. "What is this?" she pointed to a jelly-like substance.
"Zat," France said, confirming my fears. "is caviar. Zis is frog legs, and zis is sweet bread."
My friends and I stared at the unearthly display of 'edibles' in front of us.
"… Let's do it!" Alex said with a huge grin and immediately started filling her plate with the stuff.
"Well I've already tried frogs and snails," Zara said, wrinkling her nose a bit at the memory. "so I guess I'll go for the sweet bread and caviar!"
"Pass the escargot please," Mari said, taking some sweet bread while she waited. "I've never tried sweet bread before."
Safi was taking a little bit of everything, and I knew she'd try it and at least pretend to like it for France's sake. She looked up, saw my face and gave a small smile. "You should try some Lees" she said only loud enough for me to hear. "You might end up liking it."
I sighed softly and nodded. I knew she was right, but it was just so hard! Finally I forced myself to copy Safi and take a little bit of everything, making sure to take only a minute amount of escargot since that was the one I was dreading the most. Okay, I coached myself. Try something. "Heh, frog legs," I said aloud, making an attempt at humor to hide my nervousness. "Taste like chicken, right?"
"Nope, Zara said enthusiastically. "Tastes nothing like chicken."
Thanks, I thought sarcastically as I looked back down at my plate. I love froggies, I thought pitifully, remembering all those times at camp when I'd go out frog catching, or even saving them from the cabins of terrified girls or cruel boys. And Kermit. Aw man, I couldn't eat Kermit! Pull yourself together Lees! You'll get through it the same way you get through eating chicken! With that in mind, I ate a leg. Nope. Didn't taste like chicken.
"Mm, this sweetbread's pretty good!" Mari said. "I can't really taste the bread though."
This made me look up at my friend withy wide eyes. "Uh, Mari," I said. "Do you know that sweetbread is made of?"
Mari's eyes met mine, concern crossing her face. "… No…" she said, looking down at the sweetbread and then back to me.
I looked around. "Do any of you know?" I asked.
Alex looked up from her food and shook her head, but it didn't seem like it was a big deal to her. Safi looked down at the sweetbread and then to me with a 'what's wrong with it?' face. Zara couldn't stop looking back and forth between the sweetbread and me with a confused expression. France looked around the table at everyone. "You really don't know?" he asked. "Why, it's just-"
"DON'T!" I yelled quickly to stop him. I got quite a few stares from Parisians but I didn't really care. "Just," I said, forcing myself to calm down. "Let them eat in the bliss of ignorance. If they really want to know, we can tell them later."
France took a second to think about this, then he shrugged indifferently and continued eating.
My friends however weren't exactly as eager to eat as they'd been before. Quite a few of them had the 'I don't know if I want to eat this anymore' looks on their faces.
I felt a bit bad for ruining it for them, but I guess they have the right to know that it wasn't bread. With that in mind, I turned to my own sweetbread and… I couldn't do it. Knowing what it really was what it was from, and the age of what it was from, I just couldn't eat it. So I moved on to the next thing on my plate: caviar. Once, I remembered, my grandma brought caviar to Thanksgiving 'dinner' (more of a lunchtime event with my family) for everyone to try, but she was the only one who would eat it. She didn't like it. Yeah, she's kind of odd duck. But anywho, now I had the chance to try some fish eggs for myself. Great.
Alex saw how I was looking at the caviar and gave a mischievous grin, which is never good. "What if you ate those," she said only soft enough for me to hear. "And they hatched in your body, and little baby Nemos started swimming around in your-" she was interrupted by a spoonful of 'baby Nemos' to the face.
"Mon deu!" France exclaimed. "What did Mademoiselle Alex do to deserve zat?"
"Sorry," I said, moving around the food on my plate a bit. "She was grossing me out. She had it commin'."
France made a funny face, then he looked down at my plate. Oh no. "Mademoiselle Lees," he said. Here it comes. "Are you not going to try your escargot?"
Fudge.
"Hm, oh yeah!" I said with a forced a smile and a laugh. "I was just getting to that." Trying to suppress my shaking, I took a bit of snail… No, don't say that. Call it escargot, or maybe just 'the food'. Yeah,… the food and forced my hand to move towards my mouth, but it never got it there. "I couldn't stop staring at it. All I could think about was that scene from The Lion King 1 ½ where Timone was about to slurp down one more live snail when it turned into Pumbaa and said, 'I told you this wasn't such a good idea!' In that moment, I made a decision. I couldn't do this. I opened my mouth to say so when out of the corner of my eye I saw something come flying at me. The next thing I knew it hit me strait in the face, some of it landing in my tongue. My body's natural instinct was to swallow. Immediately I fought the gag reflex. It. Was. Disgusting. Escargot didn't look slimy, but it sure tasted and felt that way. "… Okay." I said, wiping the snail off my eyes and opening them. "Who threw that?"
Everyone at the table pointed at Alex, except Alex, who looked up towards the sky. "Hm, well whadaya know." She said nonchalantly. "Some escargot just fell from the sky. Despite the astronomical odds, it hit you directly on the face. Imagine that."
"Yes," I said, pushing my chair back. "Imagine that."
~~DundunDUN timeskip~~
What happened after that I'd rather not say, but I will say that I was asked never to return to that restaurant again, even though Alex started it. I did eventually explain what sweetbread is and Safi tried to kill France. It was really funny, but I'm afraid some of the things she said may be offending to the French, PETA, and anyone who likes sweetbread, so I decided to not write it down because I don't want my Safi going off to the funny farm.
After that, it was getting late. The sun had gone down and the city had lit up.
France looked around his city, a soft, non-pervy smile on his face. "It's time," he said quietly.
"What?" Mari heard him and asked.
The Frenchman turned to us, the same soft smile on his face and genuine excitement in his eyes. "Allons-y!" he exclaimed, gesturing to us as he took off down the street.
Not wanting to be left alone in Paris and curious to see what was up with France, my friends and I ran after him. France was excited so he ran pretty quickly, but he looked back frequently to make sure that we were following. Down the streets of Paris we ran, too occupied with keeping up with our guide to notice what we were heading towards, so we didn't realize it until we got there.
We finally caught up with France to see him standing with his back to us, looking upwards.
"Okay France," Alex said, puffing a bit from our run. "What did you want us to… Oh."
She, like the rest of us, saw what France was looking at and stared in amazement.
"Welcome, mon amis, to ze Eiffel Tower."
And there it was, in all its huge, majestic glory. Its huge, curving beams bent upwards until it almost seemed to touch the sky, then there was the blinking top, seemingly miles above us.
I was extremely impressed by the sheer size and the beauty of the thing. I couldn't imagine how French artists could have ever thought of it as ugly, or how the heck the government thought anything this big could've been temporary… Sorry, I'm getting into art, history and engineering mode again.
"Well what are we waiting for?!" Zara exclaimed. "Let's do this thing! To the top we go!" Then she and France lead the way to the elevator.
I looked around at the rest of my friends. I knew Alex had a minute fear of heights, but that would probably be overtaken by her excitement. Safi and Mari's fears weren't so small, but I didn't know if they'd be petrified or awed by it. I didn't bother to think about myself.
Once we all reached the elevator, France ushered us inside and told us to close our eyes.
"Why?" Safi asked, looking a bit concerned.
France smiled at her. "You'll see," he said. "Trust me."
My friends and I looked at each other, then we huddled together for stability and closed our eyes.
I felt the elevator lurch upwards and I left my stomach on the ground as we went up and up. I tried to steady myself and one of my friends grabbed my hand. This helped, but I was embarrassed because my hand was getting clammy already.
Up, up, up we went for what seemed like forever, until the elevator finally jolted to a stop. I heard the doors open and a slight but warm night breeze rushed over us. France lead us out of the elevator, instructing us to keep our eyes closed and no peeking, then he seemed to be arranging us.
My heart was beating so loud I was sure my friends could hear it. BA-THUMP! BA-THUMP! BA-THUMP! I didn't know what was going to happen, and I didn't like being so high up with my eyes closed, but somehow I managed to keep them shut.
"Alright, ma cherries," I heard France say. "You can open your eyes now."
I opened my eyes and was struck speechless. There, stretched out before us, was the entire city of Paris, lit up in all her glory.
"Wow," I breathed, my fear of the great height gone as I went up to the railing, gazing out at the beautiful city.
"It's amazing." I heard Safi say.
"Holy flip." Mari said.
"Frikin' beautiful." Said Zara.
"So worth it." Alex sighed.
"I have to say France," I said, standing up strait. "I've seen a lot of great works of art today, the Mona Lisa, the Arc de Triumph, the huge window in Notre Dame, and the Eiffel tower itself, and all were beautiful, but this," I stretched my arms out wide to gesture to all of Paris. "This is the best. Nothing can compare to this."
"Isn't it amazing?" I heard France say, and he came to join us at the edge. "Beautiful. I only wish…"
When France stopped, my friends and I turned away from the city to look at him. His eyes were glittering, and he swallowed like it hurt.
"… France?" Mari said after a pause. "Are you…crying? What's wrong?"
France sniffed a bit and dashed the tears from his eyes. "Nozing," he said. "Ze sight of my beautiful city just brings me to tears, zat's all." The he gave a soft smile and said no more.
No one wanted to pry, so we all turned back to the fantastically lit city and said no more.
~~…~~
"Alouette, gentille Alouette. Alouette je te plumerai,"Mari sang, her trademark smile wide. Alex was dancing crazily and clapping along to the beat and singing when she knew the words. Safi and Zara had linked arms and were swinging each other around to the beat, laughing all the way. I, meanwhile, was singing what Mari had told me was the translation of the song: "Pluck the chicken! We're gonna pluck the chicken! Pluck the chicken! Let's pluck the chicken now!" It was getting late, and I must admit to two things: We were trying to cheer France up and we were a bit hysterical. It must've been working, because France couldn't stop laughing at us. He was walking us home again, and our excuse was that we had to keep ourselves occupied. We were just happy to see France not crying anymore.
When we reached the house, we unlocked the door and invited France inside.
He shook his head. "Non," he said. "It's getting late, and I should be getting back to my home."
"Well we won't keep you then," Mari said. "Adieu, Francy-pants!"
France laughed as he started heading back down the walk. "And to you too." he said with a sweeping bow. Then he looked like he forgot something. "Mademoiselle Lees!" he called.
"Oui?" I answered, using French for once in my lifetime.
"Keep zat 'ousekey safe! You wouldn't want a pervert to get ahold of it!" He winked.
I laughed. "Will do!"
We all waved goodbye until France was well out of sight, then we shut the door and locked it.
"You know," Alex said, flopping down on the couch. "France isn't a bad guy."
Safi put our flowers in a vase with England's. "He's not half bad." She said. "Just misunderstood."
"Mm," I said with a soft smile not unlike France's. "Aren't we all?"
*Kung Fu Panda…that's where I heard it anyways
**PWEDIEPIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
***Don't Waste your Life, by Lecrae!
Hey guys so guess what?! I updated w/ France's chapter (originally, before it got deleted and I had to re-upload) on the day his episode with Joan of Arc came out! Cool right? So I just wanted to take this moment to talk about how epic Joan was and how much I admire her.
Joan is one of my idols. She risked literally EVERYTHING for her God and country, and people are always giving her crap cuz they think she was delusional, but even if that's true she still paid the ultimate sacrifice for what she believed in, and I find that extremely admirable.
And anyway, I prefer to believe she was sane.
