Moving on to chapter 4! Don't worry… One Direction will be in here soon, I hope the rest of the story is still entertaining without them for now. Love you guys and I'm sorry I have been gone!

CHAPTER 4

CHARLOTTE POV

I hear someone come in the house and just sit and listen for a minute. I hear them go in a room then go to the bathroom. I see the light in the room go off and I feel better knowing that Lily is home. I always feel weird if one of them is gone.

I lie in bed staring at the ceiling wondering why I can't sleep, no matter what I do. I sigh finally just getting up. I stumble to the kitchen in my flannel pajamas and socks to make a quick pot of coffee. I put the water the the kettle setting it on the glowing burner and wait till steam starts rising up. I finish up making the coffee and go over the fridge. The lights stream onto my pale face the fridge opens. Pouring some French Vanilla creamer in I reach back and put it in the fridge kicking the door closed. My feet slide across the floor and I feel a cool breeze on me as I open the door that leads to my friends and I's secret place. If you don't know where this door is you could never find it because when the people who used to own the house we were in remodeled, they built around the door obviously not using it. When we first moved in we found it and climbed the spiral staircase together to find an attic full of spider webs and anything else that you could think if that would just gross you out.

This room became our project. We ended up putting in a huge sky light that covered half the roof and rigged curtain rods at the bottom and top so we could pull a huge curtain across the glass when we wanted to, We re-did the flooring with new hardwood and all chose one wall to paint. The last wall we covered in pictures, letters, and things that were special to us. My wall is a pale green, Chloe has a pale blue wall and Lily has a lavender colored wall. We bought a huge couch and plenty of pillows and blankets to keep up there. We hung lights across the ceiling and did a few more finishing touches to make it feel like a place where we could always go. The sectional stretched out to the back of the room with a antique coffee table in front. The lights hung across the ceiling so it would light the whole room like little stars shining in the sky.

As I traveled up the stairs tonight with my coffee in hand I felt a chill as I went up. I was glad I wore my flannel pj's tonight because it was freezing. I flipped the switch on the space heater we brought up and pulled the curtain all the way to the wall so I could see all the stars and the moon and some planes flying by. I cuddled up on the couch with a blanket and held my coffee close trying to warm my hands. I just felt better up here. Steam from my mug crept up my face and I took a deep breath to try and calm down a little. Hopefully my thoughts would slow with my breathing but I had no such luck.

I guess you could say I come up here at night pretty often because ever since my dad died 9 months ago I still can't get over it or even control the feelings that it gave me. The lonely feelings try to swallow me up and I scratch and claw to keep from falling away into them, letting them overtake me. One day when he was out at night fixing up his favorite car in the driveway he had a heart attack and nobody was around. He collapsed on the ground and lied there till he was strong enough to pull himself over to the front door of my house. He slammed the door as hard as he could and my mom came racing out of the bedroom. She saw him and quickly called an ambulance. I got the call at 2 in the morning. He was in critical condition and without thinking I grabbed a sweatshirt pulled on my boots shutting the door as quietly as I could. I hopped in Lily's car to get there because I hadn't gotten my car yet and took off to the hospital alone in the dark with only the radio to keep my calm. I still remember his pale face and the slow beeping of the heart monitor in his room. I stayed there all night and when I woke up he was looking at me. I ran to him but he could barely function. He smiled at me with sparkling eyes and whispered my name with a hoarse voice. It was all I could do to not shake him and yell for him to not leave us. He passed later that day while I sat with him. He was so young. In his will he left me my car. He had fixed it up and kept it at my uncle's house. He was going to give it to me when I turned 21. I was super close to him. He wasn't just a dad to me. During all my hard times he was my best friend. I was his only child so he loved my with all his heart and I loved him just as much.

A tear runs down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away and tare my eyes from the picture of him on my wall. I lay down on the couch crawling to a corner and collapsed all cuddled up. My eyes travel up to stare at the stars slowly letting my eyelids droop until they finally shut and all I saw was black.

Okay guys. Review so I can know what you're feeling! Thanks for reading and there is more to come!