AN: Happy Holidays!
Joker: You mean Merry Christmas.
I want to be politically correct.
Joker: Screw that! It's Merry Christmas and if you or your readers don't like it, I've got an RPG with your names on it!
Harry: ...and here I thought it was going to be an interesting day.
-clears throat- Now on to a different matter, Two's a Crowd: The Beginning has been nominated in the Quibbler Awards for Best AU and Best Crossover. Sweet! Thank you to whoever nominated me and I won't beg you guys to vote for me...but if you want to, you can do so at: quibbler (dot) this-paradise (dot) com :P
Harry grinned widely to himself as his mind raced about all of the things he would do at Hogwarts, especially the mayhem and anarchy he would cause. He grabbed his extra packs of playing cards, both the weapons and the playable kind, and placed them into his recently bought trunk; he and Remus had gone to the local wizarding area, called Visigoth Ave and was hidden in the abandoned tunnels of the precursor to the modern subways, and bought some of his supplies, mainly his trunk and robes along with a few books that had caught Harry's eye; Remus had remarked on the way back that it very different that Diagon Alley was. It was decided that it would be better to purchase the school books and potions supplies in Diagon Alley since they were more suited to the Hogwarts curriculum.
Harry hummed a tune as he packed up his clothes along with some other random things when something fell out of one of the pockets of a 'normal' coat he had. He picked up the object and saw it looked like a radish, and remembered where it came from. 'I was wondering where this went.' "You stopped looking for it last month." 'Good think I did or I would've never found it.' He quickly clipped on the odd accessory and continued packing his things, planning what his first act of chaos would be when he arrived at Hogwarts when he realized that his attending there would mean he would not be able to commit crimes in Gotham anymore and that his sudden disappearance would cause a lot of suspicion. "You just now realized that?" 'Can it!' Harry sighed loudly, 'I need to think…how can I be in two places at once?' "You cannot…unless you have a clone or something similar like that." 'I don't, but I think I know someone who might have something close enough!'
—HJH—
Harry slipped into Ivy's greenhouse, snagging an apple as he slid down a tree trunk, "Aunt Ivy, you in here?"
"What do you need, sapling?" Ivy responded, smiling at the young villain as he landed on the ground near her.
"Can you still make those plant people?" Harry asked.
"Why do you ask?" Ivy answered, curious.
"I'm going to this magical school overseas and it might suspicious if I just suddenly disappeared," Harry explained, "I need a copy of myself to run around with mum and dad so it'll all seem normal…it just has to be Prank-me not me-me, okay?"
"I think I can scrounge something up," Ivy replied, with a smile.
"Great," Harry grinned widely, "by the way, you think we could give it some of my personality and Prank's? That way it'll seem just like the real thing."
"I can see what I can do, if you don't mind taking a nap in one of the plant pods for a while," Ivy explained.
Harry shrugged, "Sure, it's like sleeping on a water bed…except you're inside it instead of on it…does that even make sense?"
"I think you're taking on more of Joker's thought processes," Ivy replied blankly.
"…you're not happy about that are you?"
It took a while because several attempts resulted in the clone looking like a shrunken version of the Jolly Green Giant, but the task was finally accomplished.
Harry gave a low whistle as he gazed at a copy of himself, "Great job Aunt Ivy; it's like looking into a mirror!"
"But if your hair is any indication, you have never looked into one," Prank remarked with a smirk before looking down at himself, "Do either of you have something I could wear? It's warm in here, but I feel uncomfortable."
Harry laughed before tossing Prank a bag, "Good thing I remembered to bring some extra clothes."
"Thank you for using your brain for once," Prank deadpanned.
"He insults like me too!" Harry boasted.
"I am your clone with your memories and part of your personality, it is not like I am an imitator," Prank groused, pulling on his pants.
"You have to work on how you talk, you sound too…" Harry scanned his mind for the right description.
"Formal?" Prank suggested, slipping on the extra straitjacket and starting to do up the fastenings.
"Actually, I was about to say: too much like you have a stick up your butt," Harry laughed at seeing the look at Prank's face before he was unceremoniously shoved into a bush.
—HJH—
"Did you have to push me?" Harry asked Prank as the two of them made their way back to the hideout that they inhabited that week.
"I have more of your personality than my own; would you tolerate someone making fun of you?" Prank answered.
"No…but still did you have to push me into a rose bush? I think I still have some thorns stuck in my rear!" Harry retorted.
"Your own fault for standing in front of it, then," Prank remarked a hint of amusement in his voice.
Harry gave a low growl of annoyance when something hit him; he had not told anyone else about his plans which meant he could have a little fun with it, "You want to play a joke on mum?"
"What do you have in mind?" Prank responded.
"You'll see," Harry retorted as he slipped into the hideout, Prank following close behind. He found Harley sitting in the makeshift kitchen, reading a cookbook and apparently trying to learn how to not burn water at least. He pulled Prank away from the kitchen, "Okay, you stay here and I'll go out and start chatting with mum. Keep watching carefully and when mum turns around, I'll hide then you come out, got it?"
"Why are we doing this again?" Prank asked.
"Why not?" Harry responded, walking into the kitchen and greeting Harley. The two of them chatted for a few minutes before Harley turned away to get another book, giving Harry the opportunity to quickly hide and for Prank to come out; he grinned from his hiding place as he vaguely saw Prank appear on the other side of the room from where he had been standing, confusing Harley as to how 'he' got over there so fast.
Harry and Prank kept up the joke for almost fifteen minutes before deciding to wind it down. "You sneak off and talk to dad for a while then come back in here…I think mum's starting to go crazier from our trick," Harry whispered to Prank, both of them trying to not burst out into laughter.
Prank grinned widely and, after making sure Harley was not paying attention, sneaked off to Joker's planning room until it was the right time.
Harry sat in the chair that had been vacated when Prank was out of sight, "You okay, mum? You don't look so good."
"You've been driving me a bit nuts, that's the explanation," Harley responded.
"…I do that everyday," Harry remarked with a wide grin.
"More than usual today!" Harley retorted, "Especially that appearing on one side of the room than the other, did you learn some transporting trick?"
"I'm taking a break using magic for a while, except for my hair," Harry responded.
"Hey Harley, did you order anything to eat? Me and Harry are hungry!" Joker exclaimed, walking into the room with Prank in tow.
Harry let out a laugh as Harley looked between him and his plant counterpart, "Looks like we did a good job!"
Prank nodded his head and gave a soft laugh, "It was amusing, I must admit."
"Why're there two of you?!" Harley exclaimed.
"You really couldn't tell the difference, could you?" Harry remarked.
"…is this how you were appearing all over the room?" Harley asked.
"Yep," Harry responded.
"You little…" Harley took in a deep breath before letting it out.
"You're taking it quite well," Remus remarked, walking into the room having heard what was going on.
"You look exactly like the kid," Joker stated.
"Aunt Ivy did really well on him," Harry smiled.
"He looks completely perfect," Harley spoke, checking over Prank to see if there was anything off, "Red outdid herself this time."
"Yes she did," Prank remarked; the full impact of the scenario had finally hit him, here he was, standing in his own body in the same room with the people that were special to his other self and be face-to-face with Harry and to talk to him out loud instead of through their thoughts, he did not really care that his body was not flesh and blood, it was just fine for his needs.
"He's physically like me, but we couldn't replicate any of the magic though," Harry remarked.
"Then how's his hair green?" Harley asked.
"Chlorophyll," Prank remarked, tugging on a lock, "From what I was told, it took a while to get me completely perfect; apparently there was a slight problem from trying to make me sturdy enough for any physical fights as well as just making my hair green and not my skin too."
"How'd you get the personality right, though?" Remus wondered.
"Aunt Ivy did something with my brain and, from what she said, just copied my memories and put them in the plant," Harry explained, "Now I can go to Hogwarts without anyone knowing a thing!"
"That's one problem taken care of," Joker remarked, poking Prank in the side.
Prank slapped away Joker's hand, "I may be a plant but I still feel that."
"He's perfect," Remus grinned, "There was one other thing that should be done before Harry and I go to Diagon Alley."
"What's that?" Harley asked.
"It would be easier for Harry to exchange letters if we owned, or at the least rented a wizard house," Remus explained, "It would be hooked up to the Floo Network."
"The what?" Harry and Prank responded at the same time, the two sharing a brief look.
"It's a way of communication using fireplaces; only wizarding homes are hooked up to it but muggle homes can be hooked up, only temporary though," Remus answered.
"You do that," Joker commented, "…I don' think me or Harley could do it, what with us being…"
"Muggles?" Remus offered.
"I was going to say wanted criminals, but that's good too," Joker grinned.
—HJH—
"It has four bedrooms and there's two bathrooms but if you want more you can contact someone to expand," the salesperson spoke, "There's a kitchen with several appliances already installed and a dining room next to it, there's also a library and a den."
Harry idly looked around the third property that he and Remus had seen so far, "Does it have a fireplace?"
"Several; one in each the den, library, and dining room," the salesperson answered.
"This seems like a good place, is there a yard?" Remus spoke, "The other places didn't have one and our pets would like some room to run around."
"There is; and if you don't mind my asking, what sort of pets are they?"
"Dogs, they're kind of big so they need a lot of room," Harry cut in, "Why'd the previous owners leave?"
"Um…they wanted a change of scenery."
Both Harry and Remus instantly knew that they had most likely left because of the insanity that was increasing in Gotham.
"Does it also have a place to do potions work?" Remus asked, remembering about Joker's constantly making his chemicals or just experimenting in general.
"Yes, in the basement."
"This place is perfect!" Harry announced with a grin.
It took a several days, a few secretive dealings, and one or two people quietly bribed to finalize the sale without anyone knowing that its residents would include a mass murdering clown, a former psychiatrist turned girlfriend of said killer clown, a magical child that people had been searching for years even that loved causing chaos, a werewolf that was friends of the blood parents of the child, and the 'pets' of the residents that consisted of four hyenas; to top it all off: all of them, save the hyenas but that is debatable, could be considered by most people to completely and utterly insane.
