A/N: "Konichiwa!"
Joker: "What's wrong with you?"
"I have no idea!" -runs around-
Joker: -sweatdrops-
"One more thing, what Harry talks about near the beginning here is the connection he has with Prank back in Gotham, incase anyone was wondering."
Disclaimer: Most of the interaction in Ollivander's comes either directly from the book or has been modified to flow better with how the story goes.
Harry Potter and all related characters, locations, and terms belong to J.K. and all Batman related characters, locations, and terms belong to DC Comics.
Harry blinked blankly before pushing off Jin, who was using him as a pillow, and turning to Remus, "Was I imagining a vault filled with gold coins?"
"No…and there were silver and bronze in there too," Remus answered, grinning.
"Very funny," Harry retorted sarcastically, before falling silent for a moment, "I had an odd dream just now."
"What was it about?" Remus asked, curious.
"I was back home with mum and dad and we were…working," Harry quickly changed was he was originally going to say when he saw that there was a goblin in the room, "It was like I was actually there and it wasn't a memory, we were doing something we've never done before, to my knowledge at least…remind me to talk to them when we get the chance."
"I will," Remus promised before handing Harry a bag, "I took the liberty of getting some money for you after you fainted."
"I didn't faint," Harry retorted, "But you've got to admit, that was a lot of money in that vault! If it wouldn't be so boring, me, mum, and dad would never have to work again!"
"Like you just said, you'd all be bored," Remus laughed "We have other stuff to do, so let's go."
"Hey Ze'ev, what's Zonko's? I can't read the bottom of the sign," Harry pointed out as they left the building; a portion of the sign to the shop in question was obscured from his point of view.
Remus became very pale when he heard Harry mention the store name and quickly dragged him away from it, "Nothing for you to see, let's go get your books!"
"But I want to check it out!" Harry complained, checking again that Jin was close to him.
"Maybe later, if we have the time," Remus responded without thinking, mentally kicking himself for vaguely promising to take Harry to the joke shop. Harry in a normal joke shop was bad enough, but a magical one? Half of Diagon Alley would be destroyed in Harry's excitement!
"What's do we do now?" Harry asked.
"We need your school books, wand, and potions supplies," Remus answered.
"Boring stuff first, so let's get the books out of the way," Harry responded.
It took a short while to get the school books that Harry needed, along with a few others that caught Harry's eye.
"Now what?" Harry inquired, idly flipping through one of the books he had bought, Faces for Every Occasion, which happened to be about the known extent of Metamorphmagi abilities.
"Wand or potions ingredients, take your pick," Remus offered.
"Wand," Harry responded, putting the book away, "Lead the way."
—HJH—
"Ollivanders, where almost any witch or wizard that lives in this country buys their wand," Remus announced.
The two entered the shop which seemed completely empty, save for a chair which Remus sat in and Jin lay down next to; as they waited, Harry shook his head in agitation.
"What's wrong?" Remus inquired.
"Something about this place is giving me a bit of a headache," Harry responded, taking off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"That sometimes happens to those who are sensitive to magic," a soft voice spoke. Harry jumped in surprise and his glasses slipped from his fingers.
"Crud…" Harry muttered as he heard a tinkling of glass, signaling that his eyeglasses had broken.
"Let me get that," Remus spoke, picking up the pieces and performing a quick repair before handing them back to Harry.
"…I love magic," Harry mused, slipping the repaired spectacles on, jumping back in surprise at the man who stood in front of him, "Uh…hello."
"I knew I'd be seeing you soon, Harry Potter. You have your mother's eyes, seems just yesterday that she was in here: ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice for charm work," Mr. Ollivander spoke, staring with pale colored eyes, "Your father favored a mahogany wand; eleven inches, pliable, a little more power and excellent for transfiguration."
"Will you stop staring at me like that, it's freaky even by my standards," Harry informed, glaring at Ollivander.
"Quite the temper you have there Mr. Potter," Ollivander spoke.
"I just don't like people staring at me," Harry retorted.
Mr. Ollivander gave a noncommittal sound before turning to Remus, "Remus Lupin, it's been some time since you've been here. Don't worry, I won't tell that you were in the company of Harry Potter…I remember your wand: twelve inches long and made of ash wood and dragon heartstring; strong, balanced, and hard to break…"
"Describes you pretty well," Harry mused.
"The wand chooses the wizard; more often than not, the wand's traits are similar if not identical to the owner's," Mr. Ollivander informed before turning to Harry, pulling out a measuring tape from his pocket, "Which is your wand arm?"
"Which hand do you use more?" Remus clarified when Harry glanced at him.
"I use both a lot, but I use my right more…is that a problem?" Harry answered, as he was getting measured.
"It's a tad odd for wizards to be able to wield a wand with both hands, but it's not completely rare," Mr. Ollivander informed as he continued his measurements.
"How long does this whole thing usually take?" Harry asked, surprised when Mr. Ollivander walked away for a moment and the tape measurer kept going.
"It all depends on the wand, sometimes there's a match on the first try, sometimes it takes hours," he spoke, taking down a few boxes from the massive stacks of them behind the counter.
"Didn't know that wands had a mind of their own…um…can you make this thing stop already?" Harry inquired; the tape measurer was currently measuring in-between his nostrils.
Ollivander pulled the tape measure away as he handed Harry a wand, "Beech wood and dragon heartstring, nine inches, nice and flexible. Give it a quick wave."
Harry gave a noncommittal shrug before raising the wand barely an inch before it was snatched away.
"Maple and phoenix feather, seven inches, quite whippy; give it a try—"
Harry lifted the wand to have it quickly taken away, causing him to twitch slightly in annoyance.
"Here, ebony and unicorn hair, eight and a half inches, springy."
Harry started to emit low growls with each subsequent wand that was rejected, "I'm starting to get royally ticked off here."
"If it makes you feel any better, it took me nearly and hour to find my wand," Remus informed.
"You're not helping!" Harry snapped.
"A very tricky customer," Mr. Ollivander muttered before handing over another wand, "Try this one, an unusual combination, holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches, nice and supple."
Harry rolled his eyes as he grabbed the wand, nearly dropping it in surprise when he felt warmth spread through his fingers and up into his hand; he stared at the wand for a minute before giving it a slight wave, a stream of purple and green sparks emerging from the tip as he did so.
"Very good, very good," Mr. Ollivander spoke before placing the wand back into its box and wrapping it up, muttering, "Curious…curious…"
"What is it?" Harry asked, eyeing the man with a guarded look.
Mr. Ollivander fixed Harry with his pale stare before speaking, "I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr. Potter, every single one. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather resides in your wand gave another, just one other. It is very curious that this wand would choose you when its brother gave you that scar."
Harry's eyes widened slightly in surprise, as did Remus' who was listening in.
"Thirteen-and-a-half inches, yew…curious how things like these happen. The wand chooses its wizard, remember that. I think we must expect great things from you, Mr. Potter…after all, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things, terrible as they were, but great."
Harry swallowed loudly before asking quietly, "While I'm here, and if you don't mind my asking, what do I do if I needed an extra wand? In theory, I mean."
"A few wizards carry a spare wand around them incase their main one becomes damaged or they are disarmed," Ollivander informed, "I regret to say this, but I doubt you would find a suitable wand in my shop for at least two reasons: one, most likely there is not another compatible match here and two, I doubt that you would want a wand that has Ministry tracers on it, considering you are quite comfortable with breaking rules…especially in the muggle world." Harry and Remus stared with wide eyes at what the older wizard was implying.
"If you say anything—" Harry started, a sharp look in his eyes, before he was abruptly cut off.
"What a person does with their wand, if it is illegal, simply makes me feel guilty, but I do not report what has not happened yet," Mr. Ollivander spoke.
Harry twitched slightly in a combination of nerves and agitation as he was handed his wand, he paid the seven Galleons for it and walked out of the store.
"Ze'ev, is there another place I can get a wand…off record?" Harry asked, as they walked down the street.
"Not in Diagon Alley," Remus answered.
"Where then?" Harry responded.
"Knockturn Alley, but we'd have to go when you're disguised, on the off chance someone would recognize you and wonder why you're down there," Remus informed.
"Is Knockturn Alley that bad?" Harry asked, with an arched eyebrow, "Because we've been through a lot more dangerous stuff."
"It's just a bit… shady, and the fact people know magic makes going there a bit more risky," Remus explained.
"Okay, we'll go later…anything else we have to do?" Harry asked.
"Just your potions ingredients and then we'll get some lunch, how's that?" Remus answered.
"Sounds fine to me," Harry responded as they continued on their way.
As they approached the apothecary, Harry noted that Jin was shaking his head in annoyance and was, apparently, sneezing, "What's the matter?"
"What is it?" Remus asked.
"I don't know, something's just bothering him," Harry responded, rubbing Jin behind his ears to sooth him, "I'm sure he'll be fine."
Remus gave a noncommittal shrug before opening the door to the shop and leading them inside.
As soon as he stepped through the doorway, Jin covered up his nose and gave a soft whine at the same time Harry covered up his own nose.
"Guess we've figured out what's wrong," Remus commented.
"You got that right," Harry retorted, "I don't like this place, my nose is going nuts."
"I'll get the ingredients, the two of you wait outside," Remus compromised, "stay next to the door and don't wander off."
"Deal," Harry responded, quickly leading Jin outside, "Ugh, I really don't want to ever go in that place again," Jin responded with a slight sneeze, to which Harry smiled, "You feeling better?" He asked, patting Jin on the head. Jin responded with a soft grunt before licking Harry's hand, "I didn't like that shop either, it reeks."
"Where'd they go, where'd they go?" a worried voice muttered.
Harry looked up to see a girl looking franticly up and down the street; he walked up to her and tapped on her shoulder, "What's wrong?"
The girl turned to him briefly before darting her gaze over the Alley again, "I got separated from my parents and I can't find them."
"Calm down, we'll help you look for them," Harry offered.
"Really?" the girl responded, hopeful.
"Really…what's your name, by the way?" Harry asked, giving a calming smile.
"Hermione Granger, what's yours?" She answered.
"I'm Harry and this is Jin, he's my pet," Harry responded, scratching his pet under the chin.
"You have a hyena as a pet? …that's unique," Hermione replied, giving a slight noise of surprise as Jin sniffed her.
"He's trying to track down your parents by looking for anyone who has a similar scent as you," Harry explained, "Should've warned you about that, sorry."
Jin sniffed Hermione for a few more seconds before letting out a soft noise and turning his nose to the ground; he sniffed around quickly before taking off down the Alley.
"Hopefully he actually found then," Harry spoke, grabbing Hermione's arm as the two followed after the racing animal.
"You mean he might have the wrong person?" Hermione responded.
"He's not exactly trained for to do this, so give him a break!" Harry retorted.
Hermione idly wondered what she had gotten herself into when Harry suddenly stopped, causing her to crash into him, "What's wrong?"
"Jin stopped," Harry answered before glancing down the side alley they were standing in front of, noticing there was a sign calling the place Knockturn Alley and spotting a couple being harassed, "Are those your parents?"
Hermione took a better look, "Yes, that's them; I think they're in trouble."
Harry eyed the people surrounding Hermione's parents, there were only three and all seemed to be physically weaker than what he was used to; he could take them down by himself. He cast a brief look at Jin, silently telling him to watch Hermione before speaking, "If you don't want to get hurt, Hermione, stay here."
"Harry!" Hermione attempted to grab Harry's jacket to keep him from running off but it slipped through her fingers, she glanced down at Jin, "Aren't you going to help him?" Jin stared back with the hyena equivalent of a person saying 'What're you, nuts?' before Hermione remembered he was an animal. She sighed and looked up in time to see Harry dropkick one of her parents' harassers in the head; she watched in a mixture of astonishment and amazement as Harry easily fought off the attackers and chased them away.
"Are you guys okay?" Harry asked, helping up Hermione's parents.
"Yes we are, thank you," Mr. Granger spoke, gratefully shaking Harry's hand.
"No problem," Harry remarked as he lead the two back to Diagon Alley and to a relieved Hermione.
"You're crazy," Hermione stated to Harry after quickly hugging her parents.
"Tell me something I don't know," Harry laughed as they all made their way back to apothecary to where he spotted an anxious Remus, "What's got you so worked up?"
"I thought I told you to stay right outside the door," Remus retorted, inwardly sighing with relief that Harry was back, "Your mother would kill me if she found out I lost you."
"…you know you just gave me good blackmail material, right?" Harry teased.
"…if I buy you a sundae, will you keep quiet?" Remus sighed.
"Deal!" Harry exclaimed, widely grinning.
"You shouldn't bribe him with sugar," Mrs. Granger informed.
"What're you, a doctor?" Harry sarcastically retorted.
"Actually, we're both dentists," Mr. Granger corrected.
Harry stared at the two for a moment before slowly moving and hiding behind Remus.
Remus could not help but smile, "That's the first time I've seen Harry be so scared."
"I'm not scared…I'm being cautious," Harry retorted.
—HJH—
After exchanging brief pleasantries, Remus suggested getting lunch together so Harry and Hermione could talk a bit longer before going their separate ways. As they browsed what they could eat, Harry asked what Remus would recommend.
"In my opinion, I think Hermione and you might like pumpkin juice or butterbeer to drink," Remus suggested, "Not sure what to suggest to eat, though."
"Butterbeer," Harry spoke up, "Pumpkin juice sounds gross."
"I'll have the juice," Hermione responded as they decided what to eat.
The two future students quickly plunged into a conversation at what they were looking forward to at Hogwarts, ignoring the adults completely until their food arrived.
"What house do you think you'll be in, Harry?" Hermione asked, starting to eat her lunch.
Harry took a bit out of the sandwich he had ordered while he thought over his answer, "Not sure really."
"I'd like to be in Gryffindor, the headmaster was in that house too," Hermione responded.
"You want to be in one house because someone else was? That's just stupid," Harry spoke.
"What house would you want to be in then?" Hermione retorted.
"Whatever's good for me," Harry answered simply, tearing off a piece of his sandwich and feeding it to Jin, "Probably not Gryffindor at least, I would go nuts in a house full of goody two shoes."
Remus chuckled lightly at Harry's response before explaining his attitude to Hermione and her parents, "Harry's parents have taught him to live and experience things with an open mind and to do things his own way…that has gotten him into trouble more than once."
"If you're referring to what I did at Ritchie's school, remember, that was an accident!" Harry remarked.
"What happened there?" Hermione asked.
"You don't want to know," Harry interrupted, sending Remus a glare which threatened to do bodily damage if he told.
"I just hope he forgot completely about Zonko's…" Remus muttered under his breath.
"I almost did, thanks for reminding me!" Harry exclaimed, grinning before taking a sip of his butterbeer, pausing for a moment before downing the rest of the bottle, "Ze'ev…I love this stuff, can I get another?"
"Just don't drink too many," Remus responded, getting another bottle.
Several minutes later had Harry grinning extremely widely in his seat, four bottles of butterbeer in front of him and another half empty in his hand.
"Um, Harry, don't you think you should slow down?" Hermione asked, slowly moving away from the hyper boy.
"Why?" Harry responded, finishing up his current bottle before turning to Remus with expectant eyes.
"You're not getting another one," Remus sighed.
"You're no fun!" Harry pouted, slumping in his chair.
Remus smiled at Harry before continuing his discussion with Hermione's parents.
Harry tuned out their conversation before turning to Hermione and quietly asked, "Do you know what Zonko's is?"
Hermione scrunched up her nose in distaste, "I went in there for a few minutes before leaving very quickly, it's a joke shop."
"A joke shop?" Harry parroted, attempted to look disinterested, but an excited smile crept across his face as plans started racing through his mind at what he could find there.
"I can't believe that a place like that would be so close to the bookstore, it also promotes causing mischief and distraction," Hermione stated, before noting that Harry had silently slipped out of his chair and was quickly heading back to Diagon Alley, "Mr. Ze'ev? Harry just left."
Remus looked up suddenly, "Where'd he go?"
"I think he went to go check out Zonko's he seemed really excited on going after I told him it was a joke shop," Hermione informed.
Remus grew very pale after hearing where Harry had most likely gone, he laid down some coins on the table to pay for lunch and got up, "Sorry about leaving like this, but I have to get Harry before he does anything…"
The Grangers watched as Remus quickly left the Leaky Cauldron and went back to Diagon Alley.
"Why'd he act like Harry being in Zonko's was that bad of a thing?" Hermione asked.
"Maybe he goes overboard with pranks?" Mrs. Granger guessed.
"Maybe he's worried that Harry will do the same thing he did to his friend's school, whatever it was," Mr. Granger supposed.
"Maybe…" Hermione wondered as they continued to eat their lunch.
As the Grangers got up, they heard a fairly large boom a bit before the Cauldron shook, causing several dishes to crash to the floor around the room.
'…I hope that Harry wasn't involved in that…' Hermione thought after making sure her parents were fine.
—HJH—
"An explosion rocked a part of Diagon Alley this afternoon, and while the cause is not clear, it apparently came from Zonko's Joke Shop. According to one employee, several pranks reacted to a currently unknown outside source, leading to the blast…"
Fred looked up from the article in the Evening Prophet and stared at his brother, "Flaw in the pranks or something else?"
"I think someone else did it," George remarked.
"Someone blew up Zonko's?" Fred responded, a hint of amazement in his voice, "Even if it's an accident, that's pretty cool."
"Either they're very good or very bad at pranks," George replied, grinning.
"You think we'll run into them?" Fred asked, idly cutting out the article.
"Who knows…but if we do, hope we don't get on their bad side," George answered.
A/N: If anyone's mad that Harry and Hermione are still gonna be pals, just imagine how much fun it'll be for Harry to corrupt her and turn her against authority! :D
The next chap will either deal with Harry and Remus hanging out in the wizarding world or what's going on back in Gotham...which one do you guys wanna read about? :P
