"What do you mean 'that's how it is'…?" Hijikata muttered, looking at Sougo's back, after he had calmed his breathing.
But no matter how calm and natural Sougo was acting, Hijikata was very worried.

Sougo's not familiar with these kind of situations…

I just hope he won't crush himself mentally…


A Weak Beast made out of China
OkitaxKagura
~4~ Adjusting


It was the usual Sougo with his usual tone of voice directed at Hijikata, but his eyes were almost completely lacking the arrogance that usually looked down on Hijikata.

He didn't even seem to realise that Hijikata was actually forcing himself to scream idiotic comebacks that he could think of on spot.
To Sougo, taking care of Kagura was one huge problem, which looked as though he wasn't doing that job at all, yet he was.

Getting some days off patrol, Sougo babysat Kagura.
Looking up at the ceiling or the sky from out the doors of the fusuma which Sougo leaned on, he was talking to a certain silver-haired man who wasn't there.

"Boss... What am I supposed to do? I'm so lost..."
He sighed deeply, which was unlike himself that Kagura looked up at him with a worried looked plastered across her face.
Noticing such expression upon Kagura's face, he shook his head as if to say 'it's nothing'.
Whether she was satisfied with that or not, she averted her gaze and returned to what she was doing.

What she usually does recently was folding origami papers, drawing and such things that a small child would do daily.
Watching Kagura go back to what she was doing, he shifted his gaze towards the sky again, this time taking care not to sigh again.

The person who was easiest to hang out with became the most difficult type to handle, and not knowing how to cope with that huge gap of difference between the two personalities of the same person, Sougo's irritation multiplied by the day.

After that tragic incident, a few weeks had already passed and Kagura was sticking to Sougo like glue, following wherever he went.
Sougo looked as though nothing really had changed within him.
...but if Sougo was observed more carefully, there was evident kindness and worry directed towards Kagura.
But this was such a small change in him that even Sougo himself did not realise the different emotions he was starting to hold for her.

What was absolutely no different since the very first day was that Kondou-san still gave the brightest smiles to Kagura, who ran away from it as quickly as possible.
Watching her run away, Kondou-san's face expression always tragically turned into a frown along with rivers of tears flowing down his manly, gorilla face.

And when it came to Hijikata, Kagura won't even look at his face before he even got to open his mouth for a word or two, and she would always hide behind Sougo.

Even Yamazaki, the one who was known as the most bright, cheerful (and Jimmy*) wasn't on Kagura's goods list.

With a reason unknown, Kagura only had that sadistic Sougo on her goods list although he would hardly ever show any kindness to anyone.
Maybe the reason lay within her instincts, even after her amnesia, and her affinity towards Sougo remained at a high rate.


When morning came accompanied by good weather, Yamazaki was seen practicing badminton in the garden inside of the headquarters.
After noticing Kagura following closely behind Sougo as usual, Yamazaki turned her way and gave a bright smile.

"Good morning, Kagura-chan!"
The two both stopped in their steps at the voice, and Kagura hid behind Sougo as always.
Yamazaki's shoulders slumped once again after seeing Kagura disappear behind Sougo.

I'm always trying to look cheerful as I can and not to look scary or anything- not that I was in the first place- so why does she hate me?

"Oi, Yamazaki!"
Being called, Yamazaki raised his head and then became ghostly white at the sight.
Sougo, who was wearing a faded color roomwear kimono, had the glint of sadism reflecting in his eyes.
He smirked while pointing the tip of his sword straight at Yamazaki's neck.

"The first person you should be greeting to is me, don't you agree?"

"Eeeee-~~~h!"

"Shut up, Yamazaki! You're so damn noisy!"
The person who growled and had come out of a room nearby was the vice-commander of Shinsegumi with a similar, yet darker version of roomwear to as Sougo.

"Vice commander! But captain-...!"
Hijikata ignored Yamazaki's ranting of complaints and glanced over to Sougo and Kagura.
He then noticed Kagura who had come out of Sougo's shadow and was staring intensely at him.

"...mornin'," Hijikata tried greeting her.
And then to his amazement, she actually gave a small bow, respectfully.
For all this time, she would've just run away behind Sougo and would always fear the people in response to who would talk to her, but she had suddenly accepted Hijikata now.

She always used to avoid me... so why so suddenly...? Seriously, what on earth-?

"Seriously, what on earth is she thinking, don't you think, Hijikata-san?" Sougo said with a sigh as he voiced Hijikata's thoughts.
Hijikata looked up towards Sougo in surprise but seeing Sougo's unusually disturbed face, he was able to say nothing back to him.

Sheathing the sword back to its rightful place, Sougo then started to walk towards the cafeteria of the headquarters.
Immediately responding to the action, Kagura fell closely behind Sougo again so she wasn't left behind.

"Kagura-chan hasn't smiled once since that incident...but," Yamazaki quietly started muttering as if he was talking to himself rather than directing them to Hijikata, "if she had amnesia, she shouldn't remember anything. Not even emotions. So she should be able to smile... So I wonder why she always looks a little lonely?"


Hijikata unusually, fully listened and comprehended on Yamazaki's words and thought hard about it.

That girl is only just hesitant in reaching out for happiness. Even if she doesn't remember anything, she's probably instinctively rejecting it.

It was a day off for Hijikata, and he was wandering around Edo aimlessly as he unusually racked his brain for a problematic girl.

That means we have to create an environment for her where she can naturally bring herself to smile... but the problem here is how exactly-...?

He thought about all the soldiers at Shinsengumi, who were all rowdy men and he shook his head mentally, thinking there was not a chance that the China girl would ever be able to smile in a place like that.

Just then, a colourful advertisement caught his sight and he stopped right in front of it, staring at it with widened eyes for a good few seconds.

Festival... That's right! This is exactly it!


"Oi, Sougoooooo!"
As soon as Hijikata got back, he boomed over the corridor that reached all the way to Sougo's room and Sougo popped his head out of the fusuma door.

"What's up, Hijikata-san?"

"Go to the festival!" Hijikata boomed an order as he stomped over to Sougo's room.

"...What?"
Sougo looked up at Hijikata with a bewildered expression.
Confusion arose as Sougo looked up into Hijikata's concentrated piercing gaze given to him.
He had no idea what Hijikata was thinking.

"Is there... something at the festival? Was there information upon the jouiroushi agai-?"

"For that china girl!" Hijikata spat as he stared at Sougo as if he was staring at someone utterly stupid.

"Chi...-?"
Sougo widened his eyes in utter shock.
But that only lasted a few seconds as his 'sadistic-mode' turned on and decided to pull Hijikata's leg after a few weeks of absence of this mode.

"Hijikata-san. You've finally turned into the girl's sweet wittle daddy?" Sougo grinned and said.

"'the hell I would!" Hijikata quickly retorted back.

"Because you're so worried~"

"Shut up and just go!"

"I decline."
Sougo suddenly answered in monotone as if his sadistic-mode switched off suddenly.
Kagura, who had raised her head and perked her ears to the word 'festival', now looked back down in disappointment after hearing Sougo's decline.

"I decline baby-sitting her that has no relation to my job. And plus, like I've already mentioned before... this isn't that chick," Sougo then continued reasoning with his decline with a tone that slightly hinted sadness, "so there's no excitement in going to the festival for me anyway..."

He then became expressionless as his mode switched suddenly again.

"If you really want to take her so badly, why don't you go take her then, Hijipapa-san?"

"Who the hell is Hijipapa-san!Stop it with the misunderstanding name calling!"

"Yes. I'm terribly sorry. I had it all wrong. It should be Hijipapi-san*," Sougo humbly apologized.

"Are you trying to say that I'm a dog! Hijikata snapped.
(Referring to the sounds 'papi-' with 'puppy')

"It suits you very well," Sougo remarked, accompanied by one of his best fake smiles.
"YOU WANT TO DIE THAT BADLY, SOUGO, HUH! I'LL MAKE SURE YOU REST IN PEACE FOREVER, ONCE IN FOR ALL!"

Hijikata was starting feel very frustrated over Sougo's mood swings, while Sougo, who covered his ears to Hijikata's screaming, missed Kagura's loneliness and disappointment at that time.


Night came by quickly and at the entrance of the headquarters, Hijikata and Yamazaki was waiting for Kagura to take her to the festival.

"Oi, we're leaving."
The husky voice echoed along the corridor, all the way to Sougo's room.
Sougo was sitting down on the floor, leaning against the open fusuma door as he folded his arms before him.

"Get going."
Looking at Kagura who didn't move an inch after being called, he ordered her to go.
After hearing that, hesitantly, Kagura stood up and started heading out.

Just before she passed Sougo, she felt her wrist being grasped and she froze.

"...if you don't fully enjoy yourself at the festival, I'm not going to take care of you anymore. Got it?" Sougo said rhetorically as he then averted his gaze and let go of her wrist.

While listening to the soft padding of her footsteps travelling further and further away from him, Sougo let out a sigh.
It wasn't that he couldn't be bothered taking her.
It wasn't that he didn't like festivals either.
But something inside him was pulling him back from doing all this.

What this 'something' was, was the feelings he had come to realise while he was with Kagura during the past few weeks.
Watching her with no reaction, had keep making him wonder how she would have reacted if it was the other self.
He had realised how much he had actually enjoyed fighting with Kagura.
He had enjoyed it so much that it was suffocating him to see her boasting, loud and obnoxious rivalry friend become a doll with no emotions.
The only girl who had been able to keep up with his retorts, sadism and fights...
The only girl who would react to each sadistic actions or words and constantly be his opponent...
The only girl who properly acknowledged his existence without doubt...

Now that that was all gone, he couldn't help but want her old self to come back so desperately.
But since she didn't desire this, it wasn't an option for Sougo to forcefully bring her back.
If Kagura wished this, then she should stay like this with no memories of that gruesome incident... It should be better that way.

It should be better that way... I know that...but...

The more time spent with her, the more Sougo desperately wanted the China girl he knew, back.
So much to the extent that recently he wasn't even able to look at her into the eyes properly.
He just couldn't help but feel that he wanted to get away from her at this moment.

Kagura had conveniently went away and wiped all the memories as she wished, so why did he have to be left here feeling this suffocation?
Why did he have to be the one in pain in desperation, imprisoned by the past memories of her old self?
To think and feel that way, Sougo had suddenly felt rage.
And knowing this rage shouldn't be directed at Kagura, he could only do his best in trying to suppress it by less interactions with her possible.

Although he had said to Kagura to go and enjoy the festival, in his mind, he prayed for something else strongly.

By the time you come back, please, even just a little, be back to your old self...


*'Daddy' normally in Japan is 'Otou-san' or 'Tou-san' or 'Papa'
'Papa' is a term mainly used for infants and girls.
But Kagura refers to her dad as 'Papi'.