Who wants cake?
Harry "What's the occasion?"
It's my birthday. =)
Harley "Congrats!"
Joker "Here's your gift!"
...I really don't have much use for a bazooka... -_-


"Mr. Potter, wait a moment," Professor Flitwick called out.

"If this is about the incident in Potions involving the rubber chicken, it was justified I assure you!" Harry spoke.

"…I don't know the incident you're talking about…" Flitwick admitted, blinking in slight surprise, "all I wanted to tell you is that the Headmaster has requested that you come to his office during lunch, I'll give you the directions and the password now."

"…why do I have a bad feeling about this situation?" Harry muttered as he walked out of the room, holding a piece of parchment with the information written down.

Up until lunch faired rather normally, people had gotten used to Harry doing some rather offbeat things during or on the way to classes, including but not limit to: singing nonsensical tunes or songs no one could make heads or tails of, sitting weirdly on the chairs or benches and arguing his right to sit that way citing that it helped him think, and sliding down staircase banisters, occasionally falling off and traveling down several flights before grabbing on a railing to prevent himself from going 'splat'.

Harry approached the stone gargoyle that was supposed to be the entrance to the headmaster's office; he glanced down at the parchment in his hand before speaking, "Lemon drops." He twitched in irritation when nothing happened. 'If this is a joke…' 'Try something else.' 'Like what?' 'Another type of candy?' "Snickers, Twix, M&Ms, Cockroach Clusters, Ice Mice!"

"Chocolate Frogs," Professor Snape intruded, startling Harry.

"Holy Hermes, where'd the heck you come from!?" Harry exclaimed, glaring at the man and being oddly reminded of Batman at the trick. 'I seriously need to learn how to do that.'

At the correct password, the gargoyle leapt out of the way to reveal a rotating staircase causing Harry to comment "It's like an escalator." and ignored the way Snape glared at the back of his head.

Riding up the staircase, with Snape behind him, Harry let out a soft noise of amusement at the silver devices cluttering several tables around the office before noticing a beautiful red and gold bird.

"Nice bird, Uncle Pengy would love one," Harry commented, causing the creature in question to emit a soft trill.

"Fawkes loves to hear compliments," Dumbledore spoke, eyes twinkling.

'That's freaking creepy.' 'I wholeheartedly agree.' 'Glad someone in this room has my back, even if you're only in my head.' 'Don't make fun of my existence.' 'It's what I do, can't help it.' 'Unfortunately.' "So, what am I here for?" Harry asked, feeling a bit on edge being in the room with one man who seemed to hate his guts and another that seemed to have ulterior motives toward him.

"It has come to my attention that there seems to be an unwanted entity residing in your mind," Dumbledore answered, "From what Professor Snape has told me, this being seems innately evil and is becoming ingrained into yourself if its appearance is any indication."

'Calling me an entity is insulting; I'm a fragment of your personality!' "What's it look like," Harry responded, pretending to be dumb while inwardly cursing out the two men for bothering him and mentally yelling at Prank to stop his whining.

"Exactly like you, except for his hair," Snape interrupted before answering the thought question, "It was green."

"That still doesn't explain why I'm here," Harry pointed out.

"We're going to go inside your mind to look for this being and see what it is doing to you," Dumbledore answered, eyes twinkling creepily.

"…you're going into my head to look for a thing that looks exactly like me but has green hair?" Harry sarcastically clarified. 'They must mean you.' 'I know that!'

"Precisely," Dumbledore responded.

"…you can come in, but he can't," Harry responded, pointing at Snape, "I don't trust him; I can't help but think that he'd want to screw my mind up worse than it is."

Dumbledore gave Snape a brief look and a nod while Harry was distracted by Fawkes singing another tune, "Harry, if you're ready…"

"Let's hurry up and get this over with, I wanna get some lunch," Harry responded.

"Very well," Dumbledore spoke before drawing his wand.

"If you use that to attack me, you're gonna end up with a foot in your crotch," Harry threatened.

"I assure you, I won't," Dumbledore promised before pointing the wand at Harry, "Legilimens."

Dumbledore found himself in an area that was mainly an open field, with a few hills and several trees here and there, but in contrast to the field was an imposing building some distance away, surrounded by tall fence and a set of iron gates baring the words 'Arkham Asylum'.

Dumbledore stared at the building, while Snape appeared beside him, and spoke, "Why is a building like that in here?"

"It's a special place for Harry," a voice spoke, causing the two men to turn around to meet the gaze of Prank.

"I see what you meant, Severus," Dumbledore spoke, taking in Prank's appearance.

"You again," Prank spoke staring coldly at Snape, "I thought Harry had said you weren't allowed in, why are you here?"

"To get rid of you," Snape retorted.

Prank blinked slowly in disbelief before speaking, "If you want Hogwarts to become nothing but a pile of rubble within the next few days, by all means get rid of me."

"What are you talking about?" Snape retorted.

"The only reason Harry is at all able to function somewhat normally, and I use the word very loosely, is because of me," Prank answered, "Harry is a very…wild personality and generally has no thoughts for boundaries other than what he places on himself. I, on the other hand, am a very calm individual even by normal standards, and I balance Harry's personality and emotions and make him function normally."

"You make it sound like I'm nuts or something," Harry snapped, suddenly appearing from nowhere.

"You are nuts," Prank deadpanned, "Or have you forgotten that one of your 'home away from homes' is an asylum for the criminally insane?"

"…oh yeah," Harry realized with a laugh.

"You actually knew he existed?" Dumbledore questioned.

"As much time as I spend in here, how could I not know he's bouncing around?" Harry responded.

"How did you get here?" Dumbledore asked.

"This is my head, I can come and go as I please," Harry responded, promptly sinking into the ground and disappearing before popping out a few feet behind the two men, "What I'd like to know is why he's in here."

"Like I had asked earlier, I thought you had forbidden Snape to enter our mind," Prank reasoned as Harry, inexplicably, floated over to him, "…I haven't figured out how you do that one…"

"I make the rules here…or lack of them," Harry laughed, floating upside down before staring at Snape, "In all seriousness, why the heck are you here."

"In case something like this came up, it's better to have two people to deal with a threat," Snape responded.

Harry and Prank looked to each other before the black haired boy spoke, "Do we really look that dangerous to you?"

"If your father was any indication…" Snape muttered.

"Which one?" Harry responded, "Because if it's my adopted one, I'll take it as a compliment!"

"They don't know who that is," Prank pointed out, "I'm assuming he was referring to your blood father."

"How can I act like him if I never knew him?" Harry retorted.

"Valid question, that," Prank responded.

"Seriously, why do you keep thinking I'm my blood father when I don't know a thing about what he's like at all, other than a couple of stories and those can either be true or works of fiction," Harry stated, righting himself and touching down on the grass.

Dumbledore gave a small cough to draw the attention of the near identical boys, "Harry, if you don't mind, can you show us some memories pertaining to Prank?"

"What for?" Harry responded, a bit suspicious.

"Simple curiosity," Dumbledore answered, eyes twinkling.

"Curiosity killed the cat," Harry remarked before thinking a moment and a wicked grin crossing his face.

"…which one did you choose?" Prank asked, seeing the smile.

"The first time you helped me out," Harry answered as a bubble appeared in front of him, "We need to figure out a better way to sort these…"

Dumbledore stared at the orb, inquisitively, "What would that be?"

"A memory," Harry replied as he touched the sphere, causing it to glow brightly before enveloping the group.

"…was this a wise choice?" Prank asked, finding himself in a warehouse that was all but abandoned.

"As much as I don't like it, it's special," Harry answered, watching the memory of his younger self opening up presents.

"What memory is this?" Dumbledore asked while Snape sneered at what was going on.

"Celebrating my eighth birthday, the first time I ever did that," Harry answered, watching himself receive his goggles from Mr. Freeze and slightly dreading what he knew came next, "Prank, remind me to beat Scarecrow with a chair again when we go home."

Dumbledore was a bit startled at the venomous tone in Harry's voice, "What did that person do?"

"Just watch," Harry retorted, averting his gaze slightly when his younger counterpart opened Scarecrow's gift and was sprayed with a fine mist.

Dumbledore made to asked what to watch for when the memory shifted so that everything seemed to be out of focus and blurred with the sounds of Harry screaming rattling in his mind as well as Snape's.

"Fear Toxin is a pain in the butt it makes a person see their worse fears in front of their eyes…here's Prank's turn," Harry muttered as the scene took on an oddly disjointed look to it, "I guess it turns out like that when the memory is Prank's and not mine."

The group watched two of them impassively and two in slight shock, as Prank in Harry's body proceeded to savagely beat Scarecrow with a pipe and turning him into a begging barely recognizable being. The memory ended as Harry came back to himself and ran way from the scene.

"He should be removed," Dumbledore spoke, staring at Prank warily.

"Prank protects me and looks out for me," Harry stated, "In Gotham, having someone watch your back is a valuable asset!"

"That may be but being in Gotham has been harmful to your health, if your association with this 'Scarecrow' is any indication," Dumbledore spoke, "Being in a safer environment, with your relatives, would keep you safe."

"Who cares about being safe, Gotham is my home! That's where my family is, where I've been happiest and had the best memories!" Harry yelled, "Sure I've gotten into a couple of scrapes while I've been there, but at least I'm not forced to work like a dog!'

"You'll better adapt to being with the Dursley's with those memories gone," Dumbledore reasoned.

This bit of information shocked the two personalities, the idea of forgetting their new family and everything they had done over the years seemed worse than death.

"There's no way in hell I'll let you mess with my memories!" Harry yelled as the landscape around the group suddenly shifted in reflection of its master's mood: the trees suddenly became barren and lifeless, the grass shriveled up and died, the ground cracked as if there had been a longstanding drought, and the appearance of the building seemed to grow larger and more menacing. If anyone had cared to look, they might have noticed that one of the shadows near Arkham suddenly sported a pair of toxic green eyes, which narrowed with unadulterated hate at the two men.

"You've overstayed your welcome," Prank spat as he and Harry together forced the two men out of their mind.

The first thing the two men saw after leaving Harry's mind was the vision of an extremely angry eleven year old glaring at them with eyes that seemed to be glowing slightly.

"You screw with my head again and I'll make your lives a living hell! Don't underestimate me just because I'm a kid, I'm capable of things you can't imagine!" Harry yelled before leaving the office, slamming the door behind him. He stormed down the hallways, muttering darkly under his breath, "I better get started on screwing with those two…" 'Technically, I've already started doing just that.' 'What'd you do?' 'Do remember your first stay in Arkham?' 'How could I forget?' 'Point taken; remember when your therapist attempted to curb your violent tendencies with a suggestion under hypnosis?' 'I sorta do…where're you going with this?' 'When I removed the suggestion, I didn't destroy it…it's just been wandering around, basically, ever since.' 'How come I haven't had any headaches then?' 'I believe since it wasn't attached to your mind at all, it had no effect.' 'Okay…but seriously, what's the point of this conversation?' 'I transferred the suggestion over to Snape.' '…you rule, Prank!' 'Thank you for the compliment.' 'Seriously dude, I'd hug you if your body was here!' 'I didn't know you were a narcissist.' 'A what?' '…never mind…'

"I believe that I know why your Mark acted up in your previous entrance into Harry's mind," Dumbledore spoke, staring at where Harry stood a few minutes before.

"What would that be," Snape retorted, noting that the Mark was burning again and that he was starting to develop a headache after planning on making Harry's classes just shy of being torture.

"As we were leaving their mind I noted that 'Prank's' eyes had changed," Dumbledore answered.

"Why should that mean anything?" Snape responded.

"…his eyes looked identical to Voldemort's," Dumbledore stated.