"..."
Harry "Where the heck have you been?!"
"I had freaking writer's block! And the fact another story kept begging me to write it didn't help matters!"
Harry "What story could've grabbed your attention?"
"It was a crossover"
Harry "Between what?"
"Your series and BioShock."
Harry "...that does sound a bit cool"
"I figured that you'd think that"
It was quickly obvious over the course of the rest of the day that Harry Potter was in an extremely bad mood as evidenced by face he kept muttering darkly under his breath about revenge against hook-nosed, greasy haired, biased jerks and twinkly eyed, maybe pedophiliac creeps as well as the fact Jin seemed to mirror his owner's dark mood and snapped at anyone who would get too close. After the last class of the day, Harry ducked out of sight of his friends and disappeared. Hermione and Luna recruited Neville to help them look and they spent a few hours looking before Luna suggested getting Jin to help them track their missing friend, which he did, to the amazement of the brunettes.
Jin eventually led them to a painting of a bowl of fruit and pawed at the pear before looking back at them.
"I'm guessing that's an entrance to something, like the Gryffindor common rooms," Hermione supposed, moving closer, "I'm betting we have to do something to the pear?"
Jin let out a noise of apparent agreement before scratching at the ground, looking pointedly at Hermione's hand.
Hermione tilted her head in confusion, "I'm not sure what you want me to do."
Jin let out a low growl of annoyance before looking at Luna with slightly pleading eyes.
Luna kept eye contact for a about a minute before announcing, "He wants you to tickle the pear."
"How do you know that?" Neville asked.
"I guessed," Luna smiled.
With no other options, Hermione did as Luna advised, drawing her hand back quickly when the pear started giggling and turned into a doorknob, "…I really should've guessed that it was something as simple as that."
"It's Hogwarts, nothing is what it seems," Neville remarked as Hermione turned the knob and opened the painting to reveal the kitchens and a Harry that was running to and fro with various cooking utensils, apparently in the midst of cooking several things at once.
"…how long has Harry been in here?" Hermione wondered out loud, noticing the tables around Harry loaded with several different types of food.
"Since classes ended, miss," a house elf spoke, startling the group.
"I like cooking, helps me think when I can't make stuff blow up!" Harry retorted, popping something into an oven.
"What're you making?" Luna asked, sitting down at a table and poking at a filled bowl.
"Just some food from home, makes me feel better," Harry answered, collapsing into a chair.
"Like what?" Hermione inquired.
"What I just put in the oven was a pizza, I made some burgers and fries earlier, which the house elves seemed to like, I also made chocolate pancakes when I first got in here," Harry responded.
"…you've been busy," Hermione sarcastically remarked.
"Like I said, cooking is my other outlet when I can't blow stuff up," Harry replied with a shrug before holding out a bowl, "French fry?"
"These look like chips," Hermione remarked.
"I guess that's what you guys call them," Harry shrugged, popping one into his mouth.
Hermione ate one slowly before speaking, "Are you living somewhere in the States?"
"What makes you say that?" Harry responded, a smile tugging at the edges of his lips.
"I remembered that usually Americans call 'chips' 'fries'," Hermione answered.
Harry grinned, "You still need to figure out where I'm from exactly, and you have about 3.8 million square miles to try and pinpoint where I live." He laughed at the look on Hermione's face when she heard she still needed to narrow down a lot more.
"What're you so mad about?" Luna asked, snatching a fry from Neville's plate.
"Dumbledore and Snape," Harry retorted, viciously stabbing his fry into a puddle of ketchup.
"What'd they do?" Neville inquired, moving his plate away from Luna.
"They wanted to erase…my memories," Harry answered, for the moment deciding to not reveal anything about Prank.
"What?!" Hermione exclaimed, scaring her friends and the house elves, "That's not only unethical, but I believe it's illegal!"
"The only reason they didn't succeed is because…" Harry suddenly trailed off, unsure as to whether or not to reveal what had really happened.
"Because of what?" Hermione pressed.
"I kicked them out of my head," Harry answered before elaborating, "Long story short, they looked around in there and decided it would be better for me to live where I originally did instead of where I do now. So I got seriously mad and kicked them out."
"You look like you've got half a smile painted on you," Luna offhandedly commented, defusing the situation.
"Wha?" Harry responded, dumbfounded.
"The ketchup on your cheek makes it look like you got part of a large smile," Luna answered.
Harry pulled his mirror out of his pocket to check on what Luna was talking about and saw she was right, "That's kinda neat."
--__--__--
"What is this exactly?" Neville asked warily.
"Pizza," Harry answered.
"Okay…but what is it exactly?" Neville inquired.
"It's dough with a layer of tomato sauce covered with cheese and for toppings I have anchovies, some pistachios, pineapple, olives, and several types of peppers," Harry explained.
"Is it normal to have all of that?" Hermione asked, "Or is it an American thing?"
"Not really," Harry responded before picking up a slice, "I put what I liked on it but I figured that house elves might not like that so I left one side plain and put my favorites on the other."
Luna stared at pizza a moment before picking up a piece from Harry's side, "Good to try anything once."
"You're gonna need some milk, or else the peppers are going to kick your butt," Harry smirked as a house elf brought over a pitcher of milk and some goblets. He was surprised when Luna took a bite and did not dive for the liquid immediately, "You have my respect, Luna; most people can't last through a bite!"
"I like the kick," Luna remarked, taking another bite.
Hermione and Neville decided to stay on the safe side and just eat the cheese slices. They wasted a bit more time just watching Harry work out his aggression slightly nonviolently; he took great pleasure in smacking another lump of dough with a rolling pin.
"What smells good?" Fred spoke, striding into the kitchens.
"Hey Fred, hey George," Harry greeted, tossing aside the rolling pin and holding up something, "I made pie!"
"What kind?" George asked, sitting next to the Luna.
"Mixed berry," Harry answered, "Since I couldn't decide on whether to make blueberry or raspberry."
"Smells as good as anything mum makes," Fred remarked.
"Just don't start calling me that if you like it," Harry joked, slicing up the pastry and handing out pieces, "What brings you two down here?"
"Setting up a prank is hungry work," Fred commented, accepting his slice.
"What'd you guys do?" Harry asked.
"Let's just say it involves some rope, a bit of magic, and catnip," George smirked, taking a bite out of his piece.
"Amateurs," Harry scoffed under his breath.
"Excuse us?" Fred spoke with mock offense.
"Try doing an elaborate prank without magic and then I'll be mildly amused," Harry taunted.
"Is that a challenge?" George countered.
"It is if you two think it is," Harry grinned, somehow showing off a few more teeth than what would be normal.
"Only if you pull off something too, the same conditions," Fred dared.
"We got a deal then?" Harry coolly replied, holding out both his hands to the twins.
"Deal," the two answered, grasping Harry's hands for a brief moment before pulling away when a loud buzz sounded and they felt a jolt against their hands.
Harry cackled loudly before lifting to show his palms, revealing that he was wearing a coin sized device on his hands, "Joy buzzers; the oldest muggle prank in the book. Just wait until I do a decent one!"
"Thought we were being hit with a spell or something just now," Fred commented.
"It's just a vibration, nothing life threatening," Harry laughed, pulling off the devices and putting them in his pocket, "You'd be surprised what else muggles have made to get people to laugh."
"I meant to ask you earlier, but are you in a bad mood or something?" George inquired.
"What makes you say that?" Harry responded.
"Our mum sometimes cooks like mad when there's something wrong, but that's just her," Fred answered, "also, people have been a bit scared at the fact Jin has been acting 'meaner' than usual and people have figured how he acts is a reflection of you."
Harry took a bite of his pie before explaining what had happened with Snape and Dumbledore, the twins reacting with a bit of shock at what the so-called 'Leader of the Light' had wanted to do.
"Bloody hell mate, and our parents always went on with how good Dumbledore was," Fred remarked.
"You could maybe go to the Board with something like that?" George informed.
"What 'Board' are you two talking about?" Harry responded.
"The Board of Governors, I guess you could say they're a sort of in-between for Hogwarts and the Ministry," Fred answered.
"Why should I go to them? I've learned that governments are pretty much useless, at least the muggle ones but it seems the magical ones are too from what I've seen," Harry argued.
"No harm in trying," George appeased, "You could go to the Board with what happened and they might be able to do something but I'm not sure what. From what you've said, those two entered your mind, even though you gave your permission they didn't have the permission of a parent or guardian to do so which is breaking a law or two at least, and wanting to erase your memories is a lot harsher because if something goes wrong with that, you could end up with some serious mental damage."
Harry finished his dessert before he spoke, "Know of a way to contact that Board?"
"You could owl them, but that might take a while since they usually get quite a few with regards to the school I would think," Fred answered, "There might be another option but you might not like it."
"Why wouldn't I like it?" Harry inquired.
"It'd require you having to end up owing a favor to Draco Malfoy, since his dad is on the Board," George provided, "We figured that you would refuse the idea since you kinda hate him."
"What makes you say that?" Harry responded.
"You kicked him in the head during your first meeting," the twins deadpanned.
"Just because I kick someone in the head doesn't mean I hate him," Harry defended, "I dislike him sure, but that's because he was being an idiot at the time and has since left me alone."
"Still he might not help you since he might endanger Snape's job," George spoke.
"Why would Malfoy worry about Snape other that him being his head of house?" Hermione asked.
"Most likely because Snape and his dad are old pals or the fact that most likely Snape is his godfather, either one would be reason enough," Fred reasoned.
"Speaking of Snape, the git had been acting weird," George spoke.
"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.
"Acting a bit 'nicer' if that's possible for him," both of them answered.
Harry grinned widely at that, "Guess that worked better than I thought."
"What'd you do?" Neville questioned.
"That's for me to know and you to find out," Harry laughed before turning to the house elves, "Who wants pie?!"
Everyone quickly scrambled away from the table as every house elf in the kitchen dog-piled onto Harry, yelling about how a kind person he was.
"Harry Potter, your pocket is talking," one house elf spoke.
Harry pushed the creatures off him and dug into the pocket pulling out a mirror, "Who is it?"
"Who do you think it is, Magic Boy?" Dick joked.
"Ritchie!" Harry exclaimed, beaming.
Dick laughed before asking, "What was up with the high pitched voices?"
"House elves are an enthusiastic bunch," Harry smiled.
"What the heck is a house elf?"
"These," Harry turned the mirror to the creatures that promptly crowded around to see who he was talking to.
"Okay then…" Dick spoke, staring back.
Harry nearly dropped the mirror when the house elves suddenly spoke up and started asking questions, both directed at him and Dick.
"Who is that exactly?" Hermione asked over the noise.
"My best friend back home," Harry answered, getting the house elves of calm down and turning the mirror to his friends, "Rich, I want you to meet my new friends: Hermione, Luna, Neville, and Fred and George."
"Nice to meet all of you," Dick greeted.
"So, how'd everything back home?" Harry asked before quickly adding, "Oh, and don't say anything area or city specific."
"Uh…do you mind me asking why the odd request?" Dick inquired.
"I have a bet with Hermione that she can't figure out, by herself, where I live by the end of the school year," Harry answered, grinning at the brunette who was fuming silently.
"What's the prize supposed to be?" Dick asked.
"…I forgot to set one," Harry admitted.
"Is it because the bet was with someone that didn't know the rules?" Dick supposed.
"Rules?" Hermione cut in.
"Back home, whenever we'd make a bet there'd be a prize or something involved…like the time I bet Ritchie that I could climb up to the roof of his school in under five minutes and not get caught. The prize if I failed is that I'd get him a cake from this really good bakery downtown, if I won I would've gotten some of Alfred's delicious cookies," Harry explained.
"Did you win?" Luna asked.
"Yep," Harry grinned.
"I still think you cheated," Dick retorted.
"You're just jealous of my climbing skills!" Harry laughed.
"Other than the normal insanity that goes on here, it's been kind of quiet," Dick admitted, "Although there was a bit of craziness involving a clown…"
"Speak no more until I'm someplace a bit quieter," Harry interrupted, sensing that Dick might give something away if he kept on that line of conversation.
"Alright," Dick responded, "But your uncle has been spending a bit more time at our place…I think it's because of Alfred's cooking."
"Either that or the pool," Harry grinned.
Dick smiled before suddenly disappearing from the mirror and reappearing about a minute later, "Have to go Harry, Bruce is dragging me along to a fundraiser."
"Don't die of boredom," Harry advised, as Dick let out a snort of amusement and disappeared again.
"He seems fun," Luna remarked.
"You have no idea, like this one time during at Halloween I convinced him to ditch this party and go with me to throw eggs at cars," Harry laughed at the memory.
"What's a car?" Luna and Neville asked.
"It's a muggle thing…" Harry spoke before looking to Hermione, "You're better at explaining stuff…"
--__--__--
"Wonder if I could convince these little guys to try cooking up some different cuisine?" Harry thought out loud, watching the house elves clean up the various dishes.
"We'd like to learn how, Harry Potter sir!" a house elf piped up.
"Then I'll teach you guys when I get the chance…just don't pile on top of me again," Harry instructed, seeing that they were about to do just that, "When I get some free time, I'll come down here and show you guys what I know."
"That's sweet of you," Luna remarked as the group left the kitchens, Hermione agreeing with her.
"I'm just being nice," Harry retorted, blushing slightly.
"The little Jokester is embarrassed," Fred teased.
Harry paused at the nickname, for some reason it seemed to fit this version of himself, "You're just jealous."
"Why would we be jealous of the fact that at age eleven, you have two girlfriends?" George joked.
"I got more friends than you do!" Harry boasted, the actual meaning behind girlfriends flying over his head, "By the way, which way to the Slytherin common rooms?"
"They're down in the dungeons," Fred informed, slightly grinning at the fact Harry was a bit clueless in some things.
"See you later then," Harry said, walking off with a slight bounce to his step.
"…a Galleon says that he scares Malfoy somehow," Neville bet.
"I'm for that," Luna spoke up.
"He's promotion underage gambling at this age," Hermione sighed, aggravated.
--__--__--
"Hello there, Draco," Harry greeted, popping out of apparently nowhere.
"What do you want, Potter?" Malfoy snapped, quickly composing himself after nearly jumping out of his skin.
"Your dad is on the Board of Governors, right?" Harry clarified.
"Why're you asking?" Malfoy responded.
"What would you say if I knew something that would get Dumbledore and another person in some very hot water?" Harry teased.
"If it was a mudblood, I really wouldn't care," Malfoy spoke.
"…what about me?" Harry asked.
"What?" Malfoy responded, confused.
"The info I have relates to Dumbledore trying to do something to me," Harry responded.
"Well…what exactly did he try to do?" Malfoy inquired.
"What punishment happens to someone when they try to erase a person's memories?" Harry responded.
Malfoy smirked, "Depends on how bad my father can make the situation out to be."
Harry let out a cackle that instilled a slight sense of fear in the other boy and his guards, "This is going to be an interesting relationship between us…by the way, I'm a little bit sorry for the whole 'kicking you in the head' thing."
