Chapter Four


They settled into a routine. Finnick would dash off to work in the morning, they would meet afterwards for a swim at the lake, and then they would eat dinner and fall asleep on the couch, only to do it again the next day. It was the second week into this when things changed somewhat.

Katniss had been distant and anxious all day at the lake, and finally Finnick asked her what was the matter. It took some goading, but as they lay on the rock, the sun tanning their skin, Katniss eventually told him what was on her mind.

"You stay over every night," she said. He nodded his assent. "We spend all our free time together. I don't have nightmares so bad anymore." She paused again and only finished after some gentle goading on his part. "Doyouwanttomovein?" she asked quickly, face a nice pink color.

"What?" It took Finnick a moment to understand what she asked, but luckily she didn't seem inclined to repeat herself. He broke out in a small smile. "I think that sounds perfect. But Katniss," he sighed, scooting closer to her and laying his head on her shoulder, "How can I be sure that you won't take advantage of me?"

Katniss gaped at him for a moment before shoving him off. "You're such a..." She shook her head then looked at him seriously. "Are you really okay with this?"

Finnick sat up and waited until she looked at him until he responded. "You're the only thing I have left. I don't know anyone, I don't even know me. My house isn't very well put together, and you've got too much your own to manage. But more importantly, I just want to spend every moment I can with you. You make me feel at home."

Katniss smiled at him and ducked her head. "Okay," was all she said.

That evening he moved his paltry belongings into her house. Katniss gave him her mother's old bedroom. There wasn't much in there, and what little she had in the closet was moved to one of the hallway closets. The last bedroom was untouched, and Finnick assumed it was Prim's old room.

"So does this mean we sleep in separate rooms now, or will be sharing a bed from now on?" he teased later as they sat down on the porch after dinner. A storm was brewing, threatening rain any moment, and Katniss had insisted they go outside to enjoy it.

Katniss rolled her eyes at him. "We'll see." They sat quietly as the first rain drops began to hit the earth. "You know, your face cream is working."

"Oh?"

"Your scars aren't so pronounced anymore. You look almost like the old Finnick, but with shorter hair. And more scars. And you're still pale compared to the old you."

"I haven't looked at myself since I first woke up," he admitted.

Katniss turned to him in surprise. "Why not?"

Finnick shrugged nonchalantly. "Would you like to see this every time you looked in the mirror?"

"No," she replied. "But I like seeing it across from me at the table, or next to me in the water. Your scarring isn't as bad as you think." She held her hand out, catching rain drops.

"Katniss," Finnick started. "I've been thinking a lot lately, trying to remember things. Aren't you in love with someone?" he finally asked.

Katniss didn't turn to look at him. Instead she stood up and walked out into the rain. "I don't know," she finally said. "Like I said, there were lots of lies and deceit. I did and said what I had to to make it alive out of my Games. Peeta and I had a star-crossed lovers thing going on, but mainly it was a tool to get sponsors. I know he means the world to me, but I don't know if I really know how to love anyone." She shook her head and turned away from him. "Prim was the only one I ever really loved. I loved my father, and I suppose for a while I loved my mother, but after his death it was only Prim. She's been the only thing in my life worth living for. And now she's gone."

Finnick stepped out into the rain towards her. Walking slowly so as not to startle her, he sidled up beside her. Gently he pulled her hands away from her body and tugged her into him. She was crying silently, her shaking shoulders the only indication that the wetness on her face wasn't that of the rain. She fought against him for a moment but soon she melted into him, burying her face in his chest.

"I couldn't save her," she sobbed. "I tried so hard, and I still couldn't do it in the end. She was right there, she was so close to me it would only be a short walk to where she was. She called my name when they dropped the bombs. And then she was gone, swallowed by the fire." Katniss was getting harder to understand, her sobs causing her voice to cut off every few words. "Why am I here and she's not?"

Finnick said nothing, just let her cry. At last she exhausted herself and began to shiver. Their damp, cold clothes clung to them and Finnick led Katniss inside. Though he was reluctant to let ho, he led them both upstairs to their bedrooms telling her to change. When she didn't leave her room after some minutes, Finnick, dressed now in some pajamas Mavis had made him, knocked on her door. She made some noise, either affirmation to come in or denial of his request, and he pushed the door open, stepping inside. She was curled up on her bed facing him.

Finnick walked over slowly and dropped down next to her. He reached out and smoothed some hair back from her face. She closed her eyes and seemed to relax, and when her breathing evened out, Finnick stood to leave. But she grabbed his hand and opened her eyes to beseech him. He understood without words. Slowly he crawled in next to her and she closed her eyes again.

"Thank you," she breathed, interlacing her fingers with his between them.

From that night on it was decided implicitly that this is how their sleeping arrangements would be.

The day after he moved into Katniss's house, Finnick visited Hazelle to tell her. She looked shocked but pursed her lips against anything she wanted to say and nodded her head. "Is Katniss well?" she asked instead.

"Yes. As well as she could be," he replied. "You should visit. I know she seems reclusive but I think she's really lonely. And between you and me, I don't think Greasy Sae's granddaughter is the best company all the time."

Hazelle nodded and reluctantly agreed to stop by later in the week. Finnick decided he ought to stop by and visit his two favorite stores, so as usual he headed to Keand's General Store first. Finnick had decided to build his own fishing pole. He didn't remember how, but decided it would be easy enough to figure out how to make one if he really did come from District Four.

After some perfunctory conversation with Keand, Finnick browsed the store to find the things he thought might be useful. Some wire, and fishing line obviously, and a small tool he could use to drill holes. It would do for now, and if he needed something else he would just have to return.

Next he stopped by Mavis's shop and happened to see Vick in there, chatting to her. They both looked a bit like deer in the headlights when he entered, and although Vick said a quick hello to Finnick, he quickly took his leave. A sly smile crept its way onto his face when he said hello.

"What is it you need?" Mavis asked, a bit cross.

"Now, now, don't be so mean," Finnick teased. "Did I interrupt your date?"

Pink splotches appeared on her cheeks. "It wasn't a date!"

"But you're not denying the other implications," Finnick said, his smile all full of mirth. Mavis merely turned her nose up at him and asked again what he wanted. "Just wanted to stop by and see my favorite little seamstress, and tell you that I've been enjoying my clothes so much. I'd be naked without you." It slightly mollified her and she opened up to him a bit.

"Vick came in to get some new pants. He's outgrown his, and now he's taller than his brother, so he needed new ones. We were just discussing fabrics when you came in."

"Well as long as he keeps his fabrics to himself, I'll let him keep visiting," Finnick told her. She merely rolled her eyes at him. Finnick had taken to treating her like a little sister, and while she was embarrassed by it, she actually really loved the feeling. "Mavis, do you live alone?"

Surprised she turned to him, setting down the dress she was mending. "Well yes. I don't have any other family, so I sleep in the back of the shop. Luckily the orphanage isn't quite up and running yet, or else I'm sure they would have put me there."

Finnick hummed, his brow furrowing. "Well, you tell that Vick he'd better be a gentleman or else. Anyway, I've got some things to do, I'll see you later." Finnick walked quickly to Victor Village with his purchases. Katniss was sitting on the porch waiting for him. She tilter her head, noticing what he was carrying.

"I'm going to try and build a fishing pole. Come on, I need to find a decent branch." Finnick waited impatiently as Katniss retrieved her boots and began to lace them up. "Oh move over," he finally said. He quickly laced her boots and knotted the strings. "Let's go!" He grabbed Katniss's hand and pulled her along down the road and into the forest.

They searched for a while and Katniss helped Finnick collect a few different branches that might be used as a pole. He insisted they head to the lake so they could relax while he worked on his project. Katniss agreed but soon went off and started to make some snares. Finnick used his little tool to drill a hole at the thin end of one of the branches then looped some fishing line through it, cutting it after some length with the knife he had taken to carrying. He fashioned some crude hooks out of the wire, his hands seeming to know what they were doing even if Finnick himself didn't.

Once it was all assembled he propped it up against the rock and dug around in the dirt, searching for a worm. "Well this is something I never thought I'd see," Katniss said behind him. "Finnick Odair playing in the dirt."

He childishly stuck his tongue out at her. "I'm looking for some bait." He gestured in the general direction of his fishing rod.

"You mean like this?" she asked, holding up a handful of worms.

Finnick grinned at her. "You're a woman after my heart, you know that right," he joked.

Finnick impaled the worm on the hook, his face scrunching up just a bit. "Always hate doing that," he admitted. Then he cast his line in the water and the two reclined against the rock while they waited, Katniss removing her boots and dipping her feet in the water.

"Do I have any family?"

Katniss jumped, startled by his sudden question. "Um, what do you mean? Like parents?"

Finnick shrugged. "Sure."

"I don't think you have parents," she said quickly. "Or siblings. Though I guess I don't know for sure, but you never mentioned them if you do." Finnick opened his mouth to ask something but Katniss cut him off. "But you know, in the Quarter Quell, the other Tribute from District Four, Mags, was your friend. You two were really close. You told me that she was your mentor during your first games, and that she was the closest thing to family that you had."

"What happened to her?"

"She died in the Arena. We were camping in the forest when all of a sudden a thick, poisonous fog over took us. It burned and paralyzed, and we were running out of there as fast as we could, but all of us had already been affected by it. Mags gave up her life so that we could make it out alive." Katniss laughed, wiping a tear from her eye. "It's funny," she said, "thinking back on it all. I hated you when we first met. You were so cocky and just a pain really. But Haymitch told me I needed to ally myself with the others, and I wanted Mags. But you two were a package deal, so I got stuck with you too."

"You said that I was thought of as a playboy," Finnick prompted.

Katniss sighed. "Are you sure you want to talk about this?" Finnick nodded his assent and Katniss sighed again, closing her eyes and leaning turning her face towards the sun. "When we were in District Thirteen you and I filmed some, I don't know, announcements I guess, that we aired in the Capitol. You told how Snow had forced you into prostitution after you won your Games. So many of us misjudged you, not knowing the truth. I misjudged you."

Finnick felt dirty. He took a deep breath and looked away, ashamed to face Katniss. Noting his sudden change, Katniss opened her eyes to look at him. "Finnick," she started. "That wasn't your fault. Snow found a way to get to every one. He forced me into a fake engagement with Peeta and he killed Haymitch's family, just to show that he still had ultimate control." She touched his shoulder but Finnick shrugged her off.

"It's just hard to accept," he said. He shouldn't be upset with Katniss for telling him, but it was a classic kill the messenger scenario. Finnick shook his head. "I'm sorry, I'm not mad at you," he partially lied. "It just didn't occur to me that..." Finnick trailed off, unable to continue.

Katniss slowly walked her fingers towards Finnick's and tentatively touched his hand. After a few tense moments his shoulders relaxed and Finnick turned toward her slightly, interlacing their fingers. "Thanks," he mumbled, eyes a bit watery.

Finnick's fishing pole gave a huge jerk and he reached out to grab it. He gave it little tugs until he was sure the fish was hooked. His hand went to the middle of the pole before he realized that it didn't have a reel. "Here we go!" he said excitedly, all recent traces of distress gone. Finnick backed up, slowly dragging the fish out of the water, and his branch creaked with the strain. He'd almost gotten it out of the water when his branch snapped in half from the strain.

"Grab it!" he cried. Katniss dove for the fish, but it slipped out of her hands. "Get it, get it!" Finnick chanted, finally throwing his rod aside and and diving for the fish too. They bumped heads when they both reached for the fish and fell backwards rubbing their foreheads.

"Did you get it?" Katniss asked.

"No," Finnick whined. He opened his eyes to see her grinning at him and dangling the fish by its tail.

"I did."

Finnick smiled so wide his mouth hurt. He launched himself forward, squishing Katniss to himself in joy. "You're amazing!" he cried, grabbing her face with his hands and planting a kiss square on her lips. He threw his arms around her again laughing. "I can't believe you got it."

Katniss glanced up at him shyly through her eyelashes and for a moment we was struck by how pretty she was, damp hair waving loosely against her face, lips full and slightly parted, cheeks flushed with excitement. He shook his head slightly, clearing his mind. Finnick stood up, offering his hand for Katniss.

"It's pretty big," she said, handing him the still flopping fish.

"Dinner for two?"

Katniss smiled at him. "I'll stop by and tell Sae. But lets go now, my clothes are soaked and so are yours."

Finnick tossed Katniss her boots and placed wrung out his shirt with one hand, carefully carrying the fish in the other. It only gave the occasional spasm now and then, and Finnick was anxious to get it back home so he could clean it and start cooking. They hurried home through the woods, Katniss carrying the wares that Finnick had brought, and Finnick carrying the fish and other branches they had collected in hopes of making a new fishing rod.

As promised, Katniss stopped by Greasy Sae's house on the way home but motioned him on so he could get started on dinner. Finnick divested of his branches on the porch and went to the kitchen with the fish, quickly gutting and scaling it. He didn't actually know how Katniss liked her fish, so after some moments of indecision, he decided that simple was the way to go. He got out a pan and lighted up the stove deciding to sear it first. Rummaging through the cabinets he found some salt and pepper and in the fridge there was a lemon, broccoli, and some freshly cut herbs. Realizing it would take longer to cook the broccoli than the fish, Finnick filled a pot with water and set it on the stove in place of the pan, waiting impatiently for it to boil.

Katniss returned just as the water started to bubble, and Finnick did some suave multi-tasking, heating up the pan for the fish and throwing the broccoli in to be blanched. He seasoned the fish with the herbs and spices he had found before tossing it onto the pan. He quickly drained the broccoli, testing that they weren't too soft nor undercooked, and then he flipped the fish over before grabbing two plates and dividing the broccoli on them.

"Smells great," Katniss called from her stool at the counter.

"Almost ready," he called back. A few minutes later he was cutting the fish in half and squeezing lemon juice onto it. "Alright, I hope you like it," he said, placing the plates on the dinner table. Katniss joined him and immediately dug in.

"It's delicious," she said after a few bites. "I haven't had fresh caught fish in a while. Gale and I used to go fishing, but..." She clenched her fist.

"What happened with Gale?" he asked her bluntly.

She frowned at him. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Katniss," Finnick sighed. "We have to help each other out. I don't know anything about who I am, I barely know you. Let's not keep things from each other."

Katniss looked away guiltily. "He used to be my best friend."

"I gathered," Finnick agreed. "But not anymore?"

"No," she spat out. "He came to see me once, when I first got back here. But I couldn't do it. He killed her."

"Gale killed Prim?" Finnick asked slowly. "I don't understand."

"Maybe not intentionally, but he did," she affirmed. "Gale and Beetee were working on some weapons and strategies when we were in District 13. They designed bombs to look like parachutes, so that the victims would think that help was coming when really they were about to be killed. It's how Prim died. Because of Gale's invention she burned to death in front of my eyes." Katniss's voice was tight, her eyes waterin, but she clenched her jaw and refused to cry.

She took some deep breathes to calm herself down and her shoulders hunched as she slumped in her seat. "It's not really his fault. It's Coin's fault for doing it knowingly. It's my fault for not protecting her. But it's too painful to bear alone," she said quietly. "I couldn't even look at him when he came over. All I could see was Prim's face, right before she burned to death, screaming my name." And the tears fell then, but Katniss wiped them away angrily. "That's what happened with Gale."

Finnick nodded, not knowing what to say. They ate the rest of their meal in silence, and that night Katniss closed her bedroom door. Finnick sighed and walked quietly back to his room, crawling into bed and feeling ill at ease. He missed having Katniss pressed against him, her soft hair brushing his face. He curled in on himself like he used to do when he was alone in the hospital and hummed himself to sleep.