AN: I know, I'm being really bad at updating this. But here's a treat! Two chapters at once, and also another coming really soon. They're all totally worth the wait, I promise.
Quinn knocked on Mercedes and Sam's front door. This was the day that she and Artie were going to explain their ridiculous little agreement to their friends. Sam would laugh, no doubt, and Mercedes would ask them why they were so dumb. Quinn was still trying to work out the answer to that question herself. It took longer for Mercedes to answer, which was a bit strange, but Quinn just figured she was running a little behind.
Finally, the door opened and there sat Artie in his chair, wearing Wookie pajama bottoms and a Batman t-shirt. "Quinn. Just the girl I've been meaning to see." He said, a little rushed. Their day yesterday, blowing up balloons and getting high off of helium was a riot, and she'd spent so many hours with the guy, she learned a lot about him: His favorite color was blue, probably because of his eyes, he indeed did have braces to achieve those flawless teeth, and he was in love with R&B. Quinn couldn't exactly recall all she'd told him about herself, but knew he probably wouldn't remember anyway.
Quinn feigned disgust at the sight of him. "Ugh, not you again." She teased. Artie took her by the hand and rolled her into the apartment. He seemed hasty and anxious to get her inside. Oh, God, what did he have up his sleeve now? "Where's Mercedes and Sam?" she asked.
"They're at the store, and I have a much unexpected Skype call from my parents waiting at my laptop right now. They want to meet my girlfriend."
She felt her eyes widen. Oh, God, this was going to be her first time pretending for his benefit. She hadn't prepared herself at all. She didn't know what his parents were like…or what they liked in a girlfriend. She wasn't much of an actress. Quickly, she remembered that there were people listening, and lowered her tone. "What do I do?"
Artie thought for a second. "Become Cameron Diaz in three seconds. It's showtime." He pulled her into the kitchen where his laptop sat on the table, and rolled his chair into an empty space. Quinn took a seat next to him to find a brunette woman in glasses and a sandy blonde man gazing back at them. "Mom, Dad, this is Quinn." He displayed her with a smile. The couple looked positively delighted at the sight of her, and Quinn couldn't help but give a slightly awkward laugh.
"Hello, Quinn! I'm Maggie. This is my husband, Ken." The woman said. Her voice was motherly, and warm, and reminded Quinn of her own mother's voice. "She's even prettier in person." Maggie commented. Quinn shared a glance with her "boyfriend" and turned back to the camera. This was weird, sure, but she was not one to ever shy away from a compliment.
"Oh, thank you so much. I'm glad to see where Artie gets his good looks from." She said into the webcam, earning an approving knee-squeeze from Artie, which she slapped away under the table.
Artie accepted the rejection and folded his hands in his lap. "Quinn went to UCLA, ma. She's like…incredibly smart." He said, sounding super convincingly proud of his girlfriend. "She graduated with honors. I already told you on the phone how great of a businesswoman she is- She runs her own party planning business, and just moved into a crazy awesome penthouse apartment smack dab in the middle of Hollywood." Now he didn't sound so proud, but more bragging. "But, you know, underneath it all, she's just a little softie. Her favorite movie is When Harry Met Sally, like yours, ma!" Quinn raised an eyebrow. So he had remembered all she'd told him. Impressive.
"You two are absolutely darling." Artie's mother sighed. Suddenly, Maggie turned to her husband with wide eyes, which Quinn could barely decipher through the grainy webcam footage."Oh, I need to print screen this for Margaret." She said under her breath, as if the two of them couldn't hear. Her husband rolled her eyes before allowing her to turn back to the camera. "Give us a kiss I can send to Aunt Marge."
Artie tensed up next to her. Quinn tried not to look too nervous, but knew she had to be failing.
The boy ran a hand over his face. "Mom," he whined.
"Listen to the boy." Artie's father spoke on the other end, to his eye-rolling wife. "He's twenty-five, not thirteen."
"Ugh. Fine. But I want pictures soon!" Maggie said, getting very close to the webcam for emphasis. Quinn felt the boy slacken beside her, relieved, and she followed soon after. Dodged a bullet there, didn't they? "Send them to me on the Facebook!"
Artie gave a nod and hovered his mouse above the END button. "Alright, Ma. We're gonna head out, alright? Love you." He blew a kiss to his parents, who returned the gesture, and ended the call. As soon as the screen went to black, he and Quinn let out long, loud sighs in tandem.
"Close one!" he exclaimed through laughter. Quinn laughed with him, and nodded.
"Well I guess we're going to have to kiss one of these days." She shrugged, scratching her scalp which was now tingling from stress-sweat.
Artie's laughter was subsiding. "We should set aside a day to practice that." He teased.
"We seriously should." Quinn was serious, now, and shrugging. Maybe in a few days they could try it out and not get totally repulsed or giggly about it.
"Well…" Artie began, glancing at his watch. His eyes raised to meet Quinn's. The eye contact made her a bit uncomfortable. She avoided it by glancing around the room. "…Mercedes and Sam won't be home for a while, I don't think. Might as well knock it out?" He shrugged, his expression innocent. Maybe if he'd have had any trace of mischief on his face, Quinn would have put up more of a fight. But to his unsure eyes and crooked smile, she had to shake her head and roll her eyes. Why the hell not?
"Yeah, sure." She nodded.
Artie seemed a bit surprised, but smiled nonetheless. "Okay, um…Anything I should…know?"
Quinn knit her brows. He was nervous, but that didn't stop her from a sarcastic retort. "Oh, yeah, you should know that I have a forked tongue that is capable of sucking the life out of attractive men." The boy laughed, realizing the stupidity of his question.
"Okay, yeah, I had that coming." he chuckled, "And for the record, you just called me attractive."
"Just warming you up for the kiss." Quinn smirked. The two shared a laugh, and she placed a hand on Artie's neck. "Okay, okay. Are you ready?" she ran her tongue across her lips and straightened her posture. She ran her thumb over the boy's neck and watched him do the same.
Artie nodded. They leaned in, but dissolved into laughter before their lips could meet. The two gathered themselves and tried once more, but didn't even make it halfway that time. After three tries, they'd finally gotten all of the giggles out of their system and were able to look each other in the eye. Quinn eyed Artie's lips, which were quivering into a smirk, and her own started to do the same, but she recovered. "I'm actually going to kiss you, now." She warned. Artie nodded.
"Hit me with your best shot." The look on his face was challenging. His eyes hooded, almost glaring at her. Quinn was never one to refuse a challenge.
She leaned in and, finally, got close enough to him to the point where their lips weren't touching, but were close enough. And just like that, the laughter that had kept them from getting to that point died away, and they were breathing on each other's mouths, lips parted, unsure of how to continue. Quinn wanted very badly to press her lips onto his, but couldn't bring herself to move any more. She hadn't kissed anyone since Puck. It had been over a year.
She then felt Artie's hand on her neck, and he pulled her close, finally kissing her. His lips were soft. They seemed to fit with hers effortlessly. Maybe it was just the fact that she hadn't been kissed (especially like this) in so long, but it was fantastic- slow, tender, and…Quinn was enjoying this. That was not a part of the plan, to enjoy this. Her mind was barely functioning, but from what she could think, she tried to remember that kissing released pheromones, and it didn't really matter who she was kissing, she'd probably enjoy it.
Pheromones. That was what she used to rationalize her decision to deepen the kiss. Quinn kissed harder, which earned a small gasp from Artie. He wasn't surprised for long, though, before he ended up rolling with it. Their lips moved faster, and their breathing got heavier.
A noise interrupted them. Someone was clearing their throat.
The two immediately tore themselves away from each other and found Sam and Mercedes, shopping bags in hand, staring at them with shocked expressions. They'd been so caught up, they didn't even notice the two come inside.
"What the hell is going on here?" Mercedes demanded. Her expression was delighted, but confused.
"We were practicing!" Artie blurted. Quinn knit her eyebrows and smacked him on the shoulder. He was so dumb. Yes, it was definitely the pheromones that made her enjoy that kiss.
"We're kind of…" Quinn rolled her eyes. "…Pretending to date each other so Puck will get off my back and Artie's parents will get off of his." Her cheeks were burning. Whether it was from being embarrassed that they'd been caught or because she was embarrassed that she nearly jumped his bones because she was that desperate, she didn't know.
The couple looked at the two of them with disbelieving and disapproving expressions. And finally, Sam broke the silence with laughter. Mercedes rolled her eyes at her boyfriend and shook her head, before sitting the grocery bags on the dinner table before them. "Y'all are insane, but whatever. I won't judge." She tossed a hand up. "I will be excusing myself from your bullshit, now. Sam, feel free to come with." Mercedes disappeared down the hall.
Sam followed in suit, eyeing her before allowing his feet to scramble beneath him. "Yeah, just remember to put a sock on the door if you ever need to 'practice' some more." He called behind him, teasing, as he disappeared behind his girlfriend. Quinn gave him a scowl. Once the two were finally gone in their bedroom, she felt herself nearly collapse onto the table. She was so mortified. How could she let herself get so caught up? What would have happened if they hadn't been interrupted? If she hadn't been giving Artie mixed signals before, she was definitely doing it now.
"Well." He said beside her, his tone professional. Quinn raised her head and cocked an eyebrow. "Notes: Too much lip. You're kissing a guy, not eating a soft serve ice cream cone. And it wouldn't kill you to let your hands wander- Keeping your firm grip on my neck felt a tad…clingy. Desperate."
She felt her face go beet red. How dare he? What an ass. "No, I was just trying to strangle you." she spat back at him, probably a bit more offended than he was expecting. He was making fun of her for something she hadn't done in over a year, and calling her desperate? It was one thing when she thought it herself, but to hear it aloud, she wanted to punch him in the smug face.
"Kidding." Artie chuckled, holding his hands up in surrender. Quinn sucked in a breath, calming herself from her near-homicidal rage. "You were better than I expected, actually. I don't know why, but I thought your lips'd be all tight 'n hard."
Quinn squinted at him, wondering if that was supposed to be a compliment or not.
"….Kidding." he said once more. Finally, she let herself laugh it off. He was an idiot, but he knew how to push her buttons, and that was not a skill she liked a person to have, but for some reason, he made it charming. "Now, while I try to recuperate from that little make-out sesh," Artie fanned himself comically, earning an eye roll from Quinn, "…I can't help but wonder if I'd have been able to make it to second base if we hadn't been so rudely interrupted." He teased. Quinn was still blushing as she laughed. She couldn't believe she'd kissed this dork.
"Don't dream of it." She shook her head and gathered her things, signaling to him that she was about to leave. "I should go. Gotta do some work stuff." She shrugged, standing.
"Hey." Artie said assertively. Quinn looked down at him with questioning eyes. "You were like, five seconds away from slippin' me some tongue."
She sucked her teeth and pushed the boy's head lightly. "Shut up." Was all she said, because she wasn't certain she could have disagreed.
