"I nearly ran into my shoe box and broke my toe this morning, I am that tired." Quinn complained to Mercedes. They were walking very very slowly into The Crave building on a way-too-early Saturday morning. The night before, the pink-and-black Erica Johnson party happened. Overall, it was a success. No one fell from the rafters (it has happened before, believe it or not), only one person got puked on that she knew of (Spoiler alert: That person was her.), and they were able to tackle Erica's drunk best friend before she made an ass of herself on the stage and made a very intoxicated speech about God-knows-what. Quinn stayed until it was over at three o'clock in the morning, and had to be at Crave at seven. She'd texted Artie to bring her coffee. Their fake relationship was working out well for three days now, and they'd been able to fool nearly everyone. Being around him was like being around an actual boyfriend, actually…But without the stress of having an actual boyfriend. It was glorious.
"Girl, you need caffeine in you." Mercedes was shaking her head at her, clearly noticing the dark bags under Quinn's eyes.
She nodded in agreement. "Artie agreed to meet me here after this thing of his, which should be over..." Quinn checked her watch. "…Now. So, I'll be expecting my coffee very soon."
"You two." Mercedes chuckled. "I can't believe this 'fake relationship' thing. I think you just want someone to mack on without the strings."
Quinn gave a loud scoff. "Get out. No, ew. That's the last thing on my mind. First and foremost, Artie is keeping Puck the hell away from me. That's just…a perk."
Her friend nodded in disagreement. "Uh-huh."
Quinn gave a sigh as she opened the door for the two of them, allowing Mercedes to go ahead of her. "And next Friday I've got that rich Hollywood heiress's Sweet Sixteen and I'm excited but…This is going to be a pretty big party. Second to the Crave party, and it's terrifying. Lucky me, though, Santana's writing an article on it so she'll be there to keep me company."
"Sam's going to be the photographer." Mercedes chimed in. Quinn raised an eyebrow. "So maybe I'll ask if I can tag along." She smiled to Quinn, who wrapped an arm around her friend, taking her into a side-hug.
"And suddenly, I'm not so terrified."
"I dunno, Q, sixteen-year-olds can be pretty scary." Mercedes teased. The two girls laughed, until they met Puck en route to the Crave office. Quinn rolled her eyes- her shield wasn't here, yet, and she was not in the mood to deal with him herself.
"Ladies." He greeted them.
"Puck." The two said as they stopped in their tracks. Mercedes was cordial with the guy, but gave him death glares for breaking Quinn's heart every possible moment, like a true best friend.
They just stood there, and didn't say anything. Neither did Puck. His hazel eyes scanned the room, searching for something to say- no doubt trying to work out a skeevy pass at Quinn. For a second, she could have sworn she saw on his face the faintest trace of him about to say something, but he sucked it back. "Bye."
The girls were taken aback as they watched him walk away, hands dug into his jeans pockets, his tail between his legs. "Oh…my God. Mercedes, pinch me. Did that just happen? Was he really at a loss for words? Am I dreaming? This day just got exponentially better." Quinn clutched her friend's shoulder, who was shocked herself.
"Okay, maybe I was too quick to judge this fake boyfriend thing. That was unreal." Mercedes laughed, and held her manicured hand up to Quinn for a high five, which the girl gladly reciprocated. Then, out of the corner of her eye, a pair of wheels entered the building.
"Speak of the devil." she smirked, and all but ran to Artie and planted a huge, animated kiss on his lips, making sure Puck caught her from across the room. Artie was taken by surprise, but kissed back.
"Good morning to you, too." He chuckled when she finally pulled back. "What's got you so happy?"
Quinn twirled, her orange skirt billowing around her. "Our plan is working. Puck just walked up to me and had nothing to say. Not a smart comment, not a disgusting come-on, nothing at all. And I have you to thank."
He placed his hand over his heart and wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. "Glad to know my hard work is paying off." He said dramatically. The three of them laughed.
"You two are ridiculous." Mercedes shook her head and eyed her two friends.
Quinn ignored the girl's comment and turned to Artie. "So what did you have to do this early in the morning morning? You're not exactly known for waking up before ten unless you absolutely have to." A smile crept onto his face and he balled his hand into a fist, suppressing excitement.
"I met with some fellow young directors and I got recruited into a movie-making project out here. It'll be a little indie film, but between the four of us, it'll be great, and…" he let out a strange noise that elicited a laugh from Quinn. "…I'm so excited."
"Congratulations!" she told him with a laugh. Artie beckoned for her to lean to him as he pulled his phone from his pocket.
"Romantic selfie time." He said. Quinn knelt down and kissed him on the cheek before hearing the shutter of the iPhone. She caught a whiff, though, of the coffee that she had (shockingly) ignored in his hands, and it nearly made her mouth water.
"My coffee?" she pointed to the cup, standing up straight. He nodded. "Read back my order." This was a test. She crossed her arms over her chest and cocked an eyebrow.
"Caramel macchiato, skim milk." He said confidently. Quinn cocked her eyebrow further.
"And…?"
"…Three shots of espresso."
She stepped closer to him. "And…?" There was no way he got this right.
"An extra pump of caramel sauce." He wheeled closer to her challengingly.
Quinn felt her lips start to turn up into a smile. "And?" she asked, finally. Artie was looking proud, now.
"Scalding hot." He handed the cup out to her, knowing she was going to take it. She did, begrudgingly, but was actually kind of proud of him. She was with Puck for years and he never got her order right. She was "with" Artie for three days and here he was, a regular trophy boyfriend.
Quinn took a sip of her perfect macchiato and knelt to him for a congratulatory kiss. "Good boy." She murmured, before pecking him on the lips. Artie held his hand out to her in a "gimme" manner.
"And your end of the deal?" Oh, right. Quinn reached into her tote and pulled out a brown sack lunch for him. "What's on the menu?" he asked, testing her now. She was confident that she'd gotten his right, as well.
"Turkey sandwich on white, Dijon mustard, lettuce, pickles, and a slice of swiss cheese. A small can of V8 juice – low sodium -, and a banana." She said, and left out the key ingredient just to fake him out. The boy raised both eyebrows, meaning 'go on'. "…with potato chips on the sandwich for crunch." Artie bit his lip and smiled.
"Okay, good job." He nodded, looking positively impressed.
Quinn shook her head with a laugh. "I still can't believe you put potato chips on your sandwiches. That's disgusting and intriguing."
"Hey, my mom always told me I should name it after me." he shrugged. Quinn searched her mind for a name that would stick. It was a pretty incredible sandwich, she had to admit.
"I'm going to call it the Artwich." She proposed. Artie looked back at her with a wide smile.
"The Artwich it is." He chuckled, and began sifting through the sack for authenticity. "What is this?" he reached inside and pulled out a package of Reese's peanut butter cups.
Quinn gave an innocent shrug. "Just threw that in there in case you got a sweet tooth." She'd gotten it out of the vending machine thinking of him the day before, and decided to slip it into his lunch. The look on Artie's face was confused, but excited.
"This is my favorite candy." He dropped the Reese's in the bag and gestured for Quinn to kiss him again, congratulating her this time. "I am going to love this." He gave a small sigh before pecking her.
She raised an eyebrow at him. "The lunch?" she teased, watching Artie blush.
"Yeah. The lunch." He nodded. It was silent, then, and like Puck, Quinn was at a loss for words.
"We have a meeting to get to." Blurted Mercedes. She snatched Quinn's hand and pulled her down the hall. "Q, you are going to drive me into an early grave." She grit through her teeth.
Quinn rolled her eyes. "Cut the dramatics."
"You're right- Correction: The two of you are going to drive me into an early grave."
