In Woodbury, before the first prison invasion...
''Oh Philip!'' moaned Milton.
They were on the Gov's bedroom, having a great time.
''Shh, quiet.'' said the Gov, stopping ''Someone's knocking on the door.''
Quickly, the Governor got out of the bed and put on his rob. He opened the door, and it was Andrea.
''How... did I interrupt something?'' she asked, embarrassed and angry
The Gov tried to talk, but Andrea was faster and rushed into the Gov's bedroom. She opened the door and stepped back, confused. Milton quickly covered his part with the sheets and let out a scream.
The Governor appeared behind Andrea and tried to think of something to say.
''It's okay Andrea, I'm big enough for both of you.'' he said.
''Get on the bed.'' she demanded. So did the Gov. Then, Andrea took her shirt off and jumped on them.
Present
There was, in front of me, Daryl in his whole manliness. He was dressed as a fire-fighter and was holding a black whip on his hand. He stared at me sexily and I could feel my brain melt. I was sitting on a red chair, on a red room. Then, he walked towards me. He sat on my lap and started kissing my neck...
But suddenly, zombie Beth came out of nowhere and bit him!
I FUCKING HATE THAT FUCKING BITCH FUCK YOU!
Then I woke up. It turns out there was no Beth, but there were walkers everywhere! There were people shooting and screams. I crawled to the corned of my cell, scared, when a walker saw me and entered the cell! Quickly, I grabbed a pencil and stuck it into the eye of dat mothafucka, but it kept trying to bite me. I started kicking it on the stomach and it opened, spilling it's insides on my feet. My beautiful old-woman shoes...
As a miracle, the walker stopped moving and fell to the floor, with an arrow on it's head. Then I saw Daryl fighting the walkers.
''Lock yourself in the cell!'' he yelled
Quickly, I locked myself in the cell. I couldn't believe. My steamin' hot redneck came to save me from that ugly, smelly, badly dressed ... BRITNEY?!
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
MY SISTER!
I knelt next to her body. I couldn't believe! I cried and cried...
She was a badly dressed, mainstream, feminist wannabe idiot... but she was my sister!
I lost the track of time and as soon as I noticed, the whole fight was over. All the walkers were dead. They were now getting rid of the bodies. Troy Harder, my sister's boyfriend, appeared at the door. I looked up at him and he realised what happened. He ran off crying.
Great...
I was hoping he'd drag the body out for me.
