A/N: Hello people! Another chapter is here!

This chapter is dedicated to Laurie, the 20th reviewer!

I don't own Naruto, but I own the idea for this story.

My beta is flamingpen18, she rules!

*NOTE* Jiraiya is alive in my story! I decided that he was only badly injured by Pein, and went into hiding for a while, so that he can be in my story. He needed to be around for what I have planned. *NOTE*

ONWARD!

Jiraiya knew something was off the moment he walked into the village. Something wasn't right at all. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but it made the hairs on his arms raise slightly. Something had changed in the village within the past year, he could tell.

Yet, the sky was still an unimaginable blue and the air was crisp. Nothing was destroyed, and children were playing in the streets without a problem. So what was it that put him on edge? What could it be?

Everywhere he walked, he saw lines of people, which was odd, because service in Konoha was always fast. As he walked, his attention was drawn to one of the lines. There were men and women of all ages, tapping feet impatiently, each of them holding the same red book.

He noticed one of the men was Shikamaru Nara, and went over to see what everyone was doing.

The lazy genius saw him immediately, and straightened.

"Shikamaru, it's been a while."

"Master Jiraiya, you're back!" the boy shook his hand and gave a small smile.

"What's with all of the lines? Considering that you're in one of them, I'd venture a guess that you know," he stated with a raised brow.

Shikamaru sighed, "Well, this new series came out a while ago and the second book is out today. People are hoping to get some of the signed books, before they're all gone. I've been standing here for three hours waiting for the store to open. Each book store in the village is having a special sale for the first number of buyers, and I want one of the signed ones."

Jiraiya gave the boy a strange look, "You actually stood here for three hours just to buy a book?"

Shikamaru laughed, "All of the rookie nine are in line in various spots around the village. I'm buying mine and Kurenai's, cause she's out on a mission. Izumo, Kotetsu and Shizune are closer to the Hokage tower, but are in line as well. I saw Genma on my way here, and he was at the front of his line."

"What book is this?" Jiraiya asked, now more intrigued than ever.

Shikamaru held up the book in his hand, letting the sannin take it and look it over.

It ward hardcover and bright red. The man and woman on the front were obviously the main characters and the name really caught his attention. Tabu Sensei. He didn't have to read the description to know what it was about, but did so anyway.

It was definitely something that grabbed your attention, and he had to admit to wanting to read it himself. He opened the book and was floored by what the first page said.

Just as good as the Icha Icha series!- Ai Weekly.

So wrong but so right! Sending Icha Icha running for the hills!- PiPai!

Enough to make you wish that you were in their place!- Are You There? Sighted!

Spectacular!- Wonderful Works!

Making Icha Icha eat it's dust!- The Romance Specialist!

He wanted to faint. How could a book that wasn't even a year old from the looks of it, be better than his beloved Icha Icha? It wasn't possible!

"Who reads this?" he asked, waiting for the bad news.

"Honestly….everyone. Naruto, Lady Tsunade and even Kakashi. Of course Kakashi still brings Icha Icha with him, but usually only resorts to that when he's in front of Lady Tsunade just so he can rile her up. But, everyone reads this book, and can't wait to get their hands on the next in the series, " Shikamaru explained. He was never one to hold back, and his blunt answer hit Jiraiya like an avalanche.

"What's the next one called?"

Shikamaru gestured behind him, and Jiraiya turned to see a large billboard. On it, was three pictures, of three different couples. A red haired woman who was clinging to a silver haired man. Two men, one blonde and the other with spiked black hair, which were embracing intimately, and finally twin siblings, who were groping each other! What Kind of book was this? The name was Tabu Methods.

Everyone in the village was going crazy over a book? And people ever dared to think that it was better than his Icha Icha! Had the world gone insane?!

Jiraiya gave Shikamaru his book back, "Thanks kid. I'm going to see Tsunade now."

Shikamaru watched the man walk away. He could see that the Toad Sage was insulted, that his book were being kicked aside because of a new series. He felt a little bad for the man, but wasn't going to give up his place in line, to make him feel better. It was a drag to have to wait for so long, but it would be even more of a drag if he gave up his spot in line after hours of waiting just for one guy. Especially when his purchase was for someone else as well.

Jiraiya walked into Tsunade's office with a frown. She didn't notice him when he walked in, which got his attention. She was fixed on some paper she was reading, a slight blush in her face. He cleared his throat and she jumped. Her hand moving fast to close the book she was reading, but his eyes were just as fast and he recognized the red book easily.

"Not you too Tsunade!"

The busty woman laughed, "Well, I like it. I have Shizune out there buying the next one for me!"

"Do you know who wrote them? I want to speak with him privately if you know what I mean."

Tsunade smiled, "No one knows who wrote it! No one except the publisher, who I even threatened. But….whoever it is, scared them more than I did, amazingly. So, you'll have no luck in that department."

"I can't believe this! How dare someone try to best me! I am the Legendary Toad Sannin! A sage of ultimate renown! Nothing can ever match my brilliant work!" Jiraiya rambled.

Tsunade snorted, "It is better than your 'brilliant work'."

"What makes it better? Hm?" the sage demanded, sitting on the edge of her desk.

"Well, it has a more believable plot line than Icha Icha could ever wish to have, and the main character is a woman that actually could be real. She looks nothing like me in any way, and actually represents the normal female species. I mean, how many women walk around that look like me? It's unrealistic!" she explained, waving the book in his face, large cat bookmark hitting his nose.

He grabbed the offending item, turning to the page where her kitty bookmark was and read it.

"You know you want to. All of these people, and the chances of getting caught are really high," Mohosha whispered in her ear seductively. He buried his face in her fiery hair, the light making it look more pink than red.

Their hips grinded to the beat of the music, and Hana tried not to blush when his cloth covered erection rubbed against her. "In the middle of the dance floor?" she asked with a squeaky voice.

"Why not?" he purred. "Don't you want to live a little?"

"B-but w-we-"

"Shh. I want it, and you want it, so why hold back?" he trailed his fingers down to her short skirt. While she tried to think he was busy freeing himself. Her body hiding his from the view of others.

She gasped when his naked erection rubbed against her thighs. "Sensei! I don't think-"

"Mmm…..say it again," he breathed, causing shivers to run up her spine.

"S-sensei?" she asked, a little confused.

"Do you want it Hana? I can give it to you, but only if you ask like a good girl," he teased, blowing hot air into the shell of her ear.

"Sensei!"

"What was that?" he laughed, thrusting his hips against hers, pushing her pesky underwear, getting closer to his prize.

"B-but-"

"Come Hana, you know what I want to hear, " he pushed against her, making her whimper.

"Please sensei? I-I want you to fuck me hard, on the dance floor."

"Yes!"

Jiraiya's mouth dropped. His writing was on the more romantic side. He couldn't believe someone was writing such things, and wasn't in trouble for it! He closed the book, chancing a peek at the rating and frowned. MAC. Only those who were eighteen and older could purchase it! Meaning there was no broken laws involved. Damn!

He placed the book back on the desk, and tried to ignore his old teammates smug grin, "You didn't write it did you Tsunade?"

She snorted, "I wish! That way I could rub it in your face that I wrote something better than you! I can't exactly do that, but I can make fun of you for losing the number one spot in the romance section!"

Jiraiya sighed. How could something so horrible have happened?

There was knock at the door and Sakura walked in holding a stack of papers.

"Ah! Sakura, tell me, have you read this book?" Jiraiya asked, holding up the red item.

The girls face turned an impressive shade of pink before she answered, "Yes…...why?"

He threw his head back and let out a wail. Tsunade gave her a grin, "He isn't happy about the fact that Tabu Sensei is more famous than Icha Icha."

"Don't even say such blasphemous words! My works shall always triumph over such, vulgar atrocities!"

Both Tsunade and Sakura's anger rose on that note. Vulgar atrocities?

"Watch your mouth! Those words, uttered in this building are like a curse. Everyone working here reads and loves that book and some won't hesitate to knock you on your ass for it!" Tsunade growled standing slowly.

Sakura's face took on the same expression as her shishou, and Jiraiya realized that he may have just asked for it. He gave an uncomfortable laugh and jumped out the window, running away from the scary women.

He kept running, hoping to find sanctuary anywhere. He noticed that the lines were moving quickly now, and that people were running into stores like asylum escapees. He didn't linger long enough to really give it much thought.

He found shelter in Training Ground Eight, and sat down, breathing hard. Lifting his head, he caught sight of his number one fan. At first he was excited, but then he remembered what Shikamaru said, and frowned.

The Copy Ninja was lounging in a tree, and upon closer inspection, he noticed that the man was holding a pink book! Not orange, or green, oh no! He knew immediately that it wasn't one of his works.

"Kakashi!"

Said ninja jerked upward, his visible eye widening at the sight of Jiraiya. He scrambled to put the book in his hands behind his back, but the Toad Sage was faster. He removed the book from Kakashi's possession, and studied it with a scrutinizing glare.

The book was mostly pink, while the three couples on the front, were each outlined in an explosion of sparkling silver. In short, it resembled the damn billboard. The interesting thing was that the center couple, which had the biggest picture, looked a lot like the couple on the front of the other book. Upon closer inspection, he noticed that the man looked quite a lot like Kakashi, and the girl, a near mirror image of his little student. The fact that the main colors for this book were silver and pink didn't escape him either. How strange.

"Master Jiraiya...I can explain."

"I can't believe you, of all people would do this to me Kakashi!" the Sannin sighed.

"Naruto reads it too!" Kakashi defended himself.

"Yes….but the fool never showed an ounce of appreciation for my great works! I would've thought that my number one fan would stay faithful though," he shook his head, trying to play on Kakashi's conscience.

Kakashi accepted the book back and shrugged, "Everyone was reading it, and I only just became interested a few days ago. I was shocked to hear from Pakkun, out of everyone I know, Pakkun, had read it! He even said that it was okay! So, that just made me want to read it more."

"I was just in Tsunade's office and found out that she and every person in the building, along with the little Cherry Blossom, faithfully reads the book too!" he grumbled. "I can't even believe that Sakura reads it! Seeing how she reacts to the two of us when we get together and talk Icha Icha."

"I asked her about that, and she got very defensive of the book. She proceeded to insult Icha Icha, and I will have you know, that I did speak up about that," Kakashi informed him with a laugh.

Jiraiya sighed, "So what exactly is so great about these books? I read the page that Tsunade had marked, and I can say that I'm proud that my work is absolutely nothing like that!"

"Oh! What was it about?!" the Copy Ninja asked excitedly.

Jiraiya fixed him with a confused look, "The man was trying to convince the girl to make love to him on a dance floor."

"Chapter thirteen! I loved that part! I think that might be everyones favorite part! Kotetsu and Izumo had nothing but praise for it. Naruto and Sasuke liked it the most. I had the misfortune of hearing Ino tell all of her friends that she wishes she were in Hana's place, during that chapter, and even Sakura had high praise for it," Kakashi explained.

Jiraiya held out his hand, and Kakashi placed the book in it.

He looked at the cover again, finding nothing special. He turned the book over to see three paragraphs.

Rozu loves her bff Utsu. But when Gin comes into the picture, she finds that she can't choose between them! A three way love affair with the perfect flare!

Yume and Kanjo hate each other, and are always competing! Yet they can't get enough. How can you hate someone so much, but love what they make your body feel?

Kaze has always found her younger twin Ai, scary. Though his love for basking in the blood of his enemies terrifies her, she can't deny that she likes how sexy the blood running down his body makes him look. Was it so wrong for her to love her little brother?

Jiraiya handed him the book with a shake of his head. "I have never ventured into those realms before. Maybe I'm still stuck in the times where love making was between one man and one woman….who weren't related. I don't think that I will ever like that book," he sighed.

Kakashi shrugged, "Well, I guess I might not enjoy the guy on guy part. Depends on how it's written. But that'll be a while. I'm only ten pages in so far."

"You're even using the Icha Icha Method? Is everyone in the village insane now?!"

"Where did you hear that?!" Kakashi panicked.

"Oh, well, every now and then, I see Pakkun, and I do like to check up on my number one fan," he explained, scratching the back of his head.

Kakashi was shocked. Pakkun was involved in things and didn't even bother to tell him! He was reading porn with Sakura and giving information to Master Jiraiya. What else could the secretive little Pug be keeping from him?

"Okay. Getting passed that. What brings you to the village?"

Jiraiya got serious, "Well, my information network has informed me that there is someone in Sound who has taken over, and that he intends to rule through fear!"

Kakashi put Tabu Methods into his pouch. "Do you have any idea of who this man is?" he asked.

Jiraiya sighed, "Not at all. All I've gotten is that the people in Sound are excited about the new leader. This might not be a good thing. Especially after Orochimaru, being the previous leader, and what could be left from his laboratories and such, this can't be anything good."

Kakashi nodded, "I can understand that. We don't want another Orochimaru on our hands, that's for sure."

Jiraiya stared off into the surrounding forest for a few minutes. "Well, would you happen to know where Naruto is? I wanted to see him," he asked after a moment of silence.

"I saw him in line near his apartment. I don't think he had anything to do today, so you should start at his house," the Copy Ninja explained, pulling out the pink book again.

Jiraiya shook his head and left Kakashi to his own devices. He was obviously the last thing on the man's mind. With that book in the man's possession, nothing seemed all that important. To think that it was only a few days ago when he was doing the same thing, but with Icha Icha. How far the Legendary Copy Ninja had fallen. Far indeed.

A/N: Well, what did you think? Please let me know!

The 30th reviewer will have the next chapter dedicated to them!

If you want to have anything happen, like an idea for a mission or something, let me know, and I'll add it in!