I do not own Soul Eater or Naruto.

Hey guys! This story's gonna be getting frequent updates! Go nuts!

And look out for the HIMYM reference!

"Talking"

'Thinking'

"I have a feeling things will get better."

"Better real soon…"

(*SHRIEK*)

'Okay, maybe not.'

Grabbing his headband from the table, her rushed out the door.

- x - x - x -

"Okay, I found them," came a monotone voice.

Death turned to find Stein with Azusa, Marie, Spirit, and Justin.

"Alright, we're all here. Now we can begi—"

"…Will someone take his earbuds out?"

- x - x - x -

'Another morning, another monster outbreak. Great.'

He dodged another flurry of swipes from his deformed looking opponent, and in one motion, pulled a kunai from his pouch, and slashed through the monster's neck, effectively decapitating it.

The severed head fell to the ground, its slimy tongue slipping out of its mouth, exposing jagged teeth and enlarged canines, before turning into a series of black strips and exploding.

And it left the ruby-red cracked soul behind.

Looking around, and seeing that his fellow shinobi, who happened to be present during the initial outbreak, take down the others, he ran to their side, leaving the exposed soul floating aimlessly.

He charged in, throwing a kunai into the throat of a fallen monster, silencing its cries of pain, before turning at the sound of one of his own going down.

The Chuunin had been knocked down by one of the monsters, and pinned down by its metal claws. Its jaw opened wide, revealing the same long, slimy tongue and sharp teeth as the last one. The man's eyes went wide before shutting tightly, waiting for death.

Thinking quickly, Naruto grabbed a Fuuma Shuriken from his pack, and chucked it as hard as he could.

It sliced the descending monster clean in two, its face going through an array of emotions: hunger, to surprise, to pain, to rage in a matter of seconds, before exploding in a shower of black ribbons.

When he realized the pain never came, the Chuunin opened his eyes and sighed in relief, releasing the breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"(*Pant Pant*) Thank God."

"Yeah, you're welcome," deadpanned Naruto.

He smiled, "Thanks Naruto."

(*cue Nice Guy pose*) "No prob."

- x - x - x -

(Speaking of the Nice Guy pose, Meanwhile….)

"YOSH! Genin-kun is most youthful in assisting his comrades!" came the voice of a green-clad Genin.

"Yes Lee! We must finish in one blow as well to match his youthfulness!"

"OSSU!"

The two males split up, kicking the heads off Kishin Eggs.

- x - x - x –

Flashback….

(Secret Bunker in The Land of Rice Paddies, 3 weeks ago….)

"So yeah, rent Crocodile Dundee 3! I saw it on cable last night, and it totally holds up!" exclaimed an Oto Jonin.

"I dunno' Zaku. I saw those movies as a kid, and let me tell you—"

(*SSSSSS*)

"Holy crap! Did you see that?"

"Yeah man. It's a snake. You should be used to it by now."

"Really? I haven't seen any."

"…How long have you been working here exactly?"

"Since I was 6! And I have never see—Oh, hey Kin," said Zaku to his passing teammate.

The woman smiled at him, "Hey Zaku. Dosu."

The duo continued walking, before Zaku stopped.

"What?"

"Hey, did Kin seem kinda' weird?"

"If you're referring to how she actually smiled for once, then yes."

Further down the dark hall, the woman had the same kind expression on her face, before her eyes glowed gold, and a black wisp of energy escaped her open mouth, seemingly frozen in an insane grin.

End Flashback.

- x - x - x -

"Welp, looks like we're done here."

"Hey, Fuzzy Brow, send for ANBU, will ya'?" Izumo said, gesturing to Lee with an Egg in his hand.

"Hai! And if I don't make it in 30 seconds, I will run all the way to Suna and back on my pinkies!"

"That's the spirit Lee! And if I don't make it in 30 seconds, I will do the same while balancing an Akimichi on both feet!"

"OSSU!"

And the two enthusiastic ninja were off.

While that was happening, the remaining uninjured ninja collected the souls and placed them in a small pile.

Naruto jumped over the nearby pile of rubble from the recent carnage, and grabbed the soul of the Kishin Egg he killed with his bare hand.

The second it touched his skin, it glowed, before sinking into it completely.

Huh.

- x - x - x -

"A-and what would be the purpose of this new campus, Shinigami-sama?"

"Well, it seems as though there have been massive outbreaks of Kishin Eggs since Asura's little disappearing act. What does that tell you?"

Marie looked up in understanding, "The Kishin's hiding there, isn't he?"

"Correct," he said, turning back to the mirror.

"I believe that using the new campus as a cover, we can expose the nation hiding the Kishin, and create a new batch of Death Scythes on the side, using the Kishin Eggs," he suggested.

"…And who would you have on this new campus, sir?"

"We'll send our strongest meisters – that's 1 to 3 stars, mind you – to the country, and by tracking the locations of the outbreaks, pinpoint the location of the Kishin. Sound fair?"

The 5 present nodded.

"Good, now Spirit?"

'Urk!'

"…It seems your little stint as Stein's weapon will have to go on a little while longer. Justin will stay with me. Stein, Spirit, Marie, Azusa, Sid, and Stein's EAT class should all be sent immediately."

'Stein's class? That includes Maka! YES!'

"Pardon me, Lord Death, but what of the Demon Sword?"

"…He will remain here under my supervision. I believe it's for the best, given his…erm, her….which is it exactly?"

'Well, on one side Crona wears a dress, has pink hair, and sounds like a girl. On the other….where be her tits?' Spirit thought.

"No one knows, can we please move on?"

"Agreed."

- x - x - x -

"Hey, Naruto, can you put these in the sack for me?" asked Kotetsu.

"Huh?! Oh yeah! Right! Sure!..."

"…Is something wrong? You're kinda' jumpy."

"Nononono, nothing's wrong….."

'Dammit, what the hell does this mean? Absorbing people's souls, am I like them?'

He grasped the sack, and closed his fist tightly around the opening, enough for his fingernails to dig into his palms, drawing blood.

Making sure no one was looking, he tried to be quick and throw them in, in order to reduce the amount of time he was in contact with them.

It didn't work.

By the end, there was an empty sack, tied and closed, with the Eggs mysteriously vanishing.

Great.

The ANBU called in swooped down and took it away, to Death knows where.

'(*sigh*) This day just keeps getting better and better….'

- x - x - x -

HEEEEEY GUYS!

Objection234 again, with another update! So what is Naruto exactly? A Meister? A Weapon? Or maybe neither? You'll find out soon!

'Till then!

-Objection234 (Akane Sasu Sora on YouTube).