Warning for: well, there's essentially a general lack of consent in this chapter because of mental invasion/manipulation. In case you hadn't already worked out that everything around the Koschei/Aliya relationship was super fucked up, and that that is the entire point.
Aliya would notice Koschei watching her.
It terrified her.
Every time his intense gaze met hers, her stomach dropped as though a heavy stone had been placed inside. His eyes were dark with something raging inside, something she feared was the very thing that had driven her away from him. Those eyes seemed to pierce into her soul. She recognised the expression. He was planning something.
The thought filled her with dread.
"Aliya? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Theta. Just distracted."
"Just…be careful, okay?"
"I won't let Koschei and his lurking get to me, don't worry."
Aliya was walking towards the library, her mind drifting completely as she thought about the science experiment that she had to design for her classes. It would, of course, take days of preparation and hours to perform the actual experiment, but such was the average time needed for these classes.
She settled herself at a table and began scribbling down preparation notes and plans down on as much paper as she could find. After a couple of hours full of hard work, she found herself surrounded by at least ten pieces of paper covered in the swirls and circles of her writing.
"Impressive," a familiar voice said from behind her, and her ears recognised the owner at the same moment that she twisted her head around to look.
Koschei was staring down at her with the pale green eyes she had grown to fear so much. Her chest tightening, she bit her lip as she turned back to her work, her heart beating so fast that she found herself wishing for a second one.
"Luna…" he said slowly, his hand snaking to rest on her red velvet clad shoulder.
"I don't want to talk to you, Koschei, and that's not my name, so please don't use it." Aliya fought to keep her voice calm, as his presence affected her so much more than she ever wanted him to know.
"Oh, come on…you don't mean that," he said smoothly, slipping into the seat next to her, his voice casual like it had been back in the days when she hadn't been scared of him.
She snuck a glance at him, taking in the fact that he seemed non-hostile. "I do, actually," she said.
He didn't answer the statement and instead ran his eyes over all the paper in front of them. "What's all this for?" He sounded genuinely curious. She wordlessly pushed the pages towards him and stared nervously straight ahead as he read them. "Wow…you're going to get full marks for this if it has the expected results…"
"Thanks…" she murmured quietly.
"Luna, I've missed you," he said at an equally low volume.
Hearing him say her old name like that caused a shiver to run down her spine. "I…I don't believe you," she managed to say, even if her voice wasn't particularly steady, and mentally prided herself on the words.
"What?"
"All you ever do is lie to me! Nothing like that would change in a year, or fifty!" She cast her eyes away from him, but out of sight was certainly not out of mind.
"Luna…" She felt a tiny bit of her resolve crumble as he said the name again, "Please. You know you still feel it. That spark between us. Something about us fits, you know it does, you said it yourself, you've never felt like that with anyone but me, that means it must be special."
She turned to face him; something she immediately knew was a mistake. He looked as handsome and charming as ever and when his green eyes met hers she felt as though her heart was breaking all over again.
"Yes, but-" Her voice crumbled as she stared at him with incredulous hurt. "After everything you did…"
"Luna," he said gently, and she found more of her resolve tumbling down every time he said the name, "I'm sorry…" His hand reached up to touch her face in a seemingly innocent way, and she cursed herself as she reflexively leaned into his touch.
However, then his fingers reached her temple and she felt his mind brush hers. Gentle, needing, asking, coaxing….
"No!" She protested as she shoved his hand away and jumped back in her seat. "Don't do that! I don't know how you're able to get inside my head…and change everything in there…but don't try and make me feel something I don't! It's... it's wrong, and - and it's illegal and I could report you for doing it-"
"But you do feel it, you've felt it for years, long before I ever did that," he replied in a low voice, and she tried to ignore the fact that he was right, "You still have feelings for me. Do you think I can't hear your heart pounding away in there, so scared, but so in need of me at the same time…"
His voice and aura was so persuasive that she took an unconscious step towards him, almost dazed. He reached out a hand to caress her neck, and she caught her breath as she tilted her neck to give him better access. His fingertips traced across her pale skin, coaxing submission, until-
"Stop it!" She said forcefully, jumping away from him. "Just - just leave me alone." She held back any tears as she stormed away from him and out of the library.
Koschei cursed as he watched her leave and aimed a kick at the nearest bookcase.
Aliya sat on the edge of her bed, shaken by Koschei's unexpected appearance.
How dare he? How dare he try and get her back, after everything?
She was always helpless against him, but the fact that she had to a certain extent been able to stand up to him in the library gave her hope that perhaps she could make it through after all.
She thought about Koschei for the next half an hour, wrestling with old feelings and trying to figure out ways to deflect any advances he might try to make.
A knock on her door woke her from her busy and disturbing thoughts, and she slowly got up and crossed to the door, hoping that it wouldn't be a certain blond young man on the other side.
Of course, it was. Koschei stood there with an innocent and warm smile, holding a familiar bunch of papers in his hand. She slammed the door shut immediately before realising what it was he had been holding and cursing as the fact that she needed to get the papers back dawned on her.
Taking a deep breath, she opened the door.
"You left these behind in your…hurry," he said with good-natured humour, and handed them over to her. She took them, and her hand recoiled after accidentally touching his.
"Um. Thanks," she mumbled, not sure of what to say.
"Luna, please, just…let me in. Can't we just talk?" Koschei asked urgently, bring his arm up to rest on the door frame near her face.
"No," she whispered. "You know that when it comes to us, it doesn't work like that."
"Please…I… you're my friend, Luna, and Theta is my friend, my best friend in the world, and he's furious with me, and I know he'll not forgive me until I make things right with you. His friendship is everything to me, please, let me fix this between us. Let me in."
There was something so honest in his eyes that Aliya felt certain that at least that last part was definitely true.
"…just to talk?" Aliya said slowly, knowing deep down that she was probably making one of the biggest mistakes of her life.
He nodded, his eyes full of some kind of affection, or as close as Koschei could get to it.
Aliya stretched her free hand out to him and led him inside, with old feelings stirring within her as their hands touched. She placed the papers on the table and led him to the bed, where they both sat down.
He fiddled with her fingers gently, and they both watched their interlocked hands for a minute or so.
"Koschei…I can't be with you again. It hurts too much. You don't respect me as a person. I'm just…a thing, a thing that you lost and now feel that you need to have." Aliya said slowly, and she heard him inhale deeply, thinking her words over with a displeased expression.
"You know that it's more than that. You can't tell me that if I were to do this-" He reached his hand up to stroke her neck in the same hypnotising way he had in the library, "-that you don't feel something."
"That's called lust, Koschei, it's not an emotion!" She snapped, a tear prickling at her eye. But she didn't try to move his hand. He stared at her, and her eyes eventually buckled under his gaze and went to his hand. "And I only ever feel it around you, and you take advantage of that! Dammit, Koschei, I loved you! Doesn't that matter? I still…I find myself wanting you, you're in my dream, and my nightmares. I find it hard to not think about you, but you don't love me!"
"Who said that I didn't love you?" Koschei retorted, raising an eyebrow.
"Well, do you?" She demanded, and he didn't reply. "See? You never say so! Answer me, Koschei, do you love me, or don't you?"
He stared into her eyes. "All my life, I've only ever loved one person. And everything I've ever done has been for them, to keep them with me. But you know I go about these things all wrong. I'm sorry. But I promise, Luna, I'm trying."
She stared at him, realising he couldn't say the words, but that it was as close as she would get. She felt another sob shake her body as she brought a hand to her mouth in shock. He pushed her hair out of her face and cupped her cheek.
"No tears, Luna. This should be a happy thing," he told her, but she shook her head uncertainly.
"Alright, but we have to lay down some kind of rules. First and foremost: Theta is my best friend, and I will not under any circumstances stop spending time with him. So stop being pettily jealous and deal with it; it wouldn't hurt for the two of you to make up." She said, and he nodded.
"I can do that."
"But what if you just change?" She found herself saying as panic began to rise through her, "Last time you were just pretending, how do I know that you're not doing the same thing now?"
"Luna." He cupped her face gently, and she smiled at him, and his eyes were so beautiful as they held hers that she found herself mesmerised by them as his fingertips came to rest against her temple. "This isn't an act, we've worked out our problems. You love me again, despite what I have done wrong."
He was right, of course, she was suddenly very sure of that. The words resonated through her like nothing else she had ever known, the truth of them, and she was so certain.
Aliya blinked before breaking out into an adoring smile. "Koschei," she breathed, and her small hand came up to touch his cheek, "You're really back."
"And we're together, like it should be," Koschei added, and he kissed her, pulling her into his arms and letting them both let out contented sighs now that they were back together, as things should be.
Theta had been busy for the entire week preparing for his practical robotics demonstration, but he'd finally completed the assessment and was heading to Aliya's room to fetch his friend and brainstorm some ideas about how to celebrate.
"Aliya! Are you awake, can I come in?" He asked enthusiastically as he rapped on the door.
"Um, hold on, Theta," Aliya called nervously. "Won't be a minute or so!"
After a minute or so, she finally came to the door and answered it.
"Aliya, you've got to come and see-" Theta stopped short after practically bouncing in the door, as he spotted Koschei sitting on the bed. "What's he doing in here?" The statement was a bit rude, but he didn't care. Koschei looked up from the book with a smirk, mock hurt in his eyes.
"I've missed you too, Thete," he replied snarkily.
Theta bent closer to Aliya and lowered his voice. "I thought you were keeping away from him…that you were afraid of him!"
"Theta, I wasn't afraid of him, I was waiting for him to sort his problems out on his own, and he has, we've talked it all out now, it's back to how it should be!" She insisted.
He noticed how bright her eyes were, and it made him sick to the stomach. There was something wrong, if this had all been true, Aliya would have been hopeful but still nervous, but she wasn't. She was overly eager, completely unburdened. It was wrong. It was like she had been brainwashed.
Aliya noticed and frowned. "Theta, what is it, what's wrong? Aren't you happy for us?"
Theta looked to Koschei, who smirked at him again.
"Yeah, Theta, aren't you happy for us?"
The eyes of his supposed friend were glinting with a sinister sort of triumph, and through his eyes he was taunting him. I've won this round, you don't stand a chance, she'll never listen to you. The message was clearly conveyed, and Theta scowled before storming out of the room.
"Theta, wait!"
"Let him go, Luna. He needs time."
A few days later, Aliya slipped out of Koschei's room only to be caught by a certain Theta Sigma. He wasn't pleased.
"I have the right to do whatever I wish with whomever I choose, Theta," she defended before he could say anything, and then began walking in the direction of her room, only for him to follow her.
"Yes, anyone, except him!" he argued as they walked, and she shot him an indignant glare.
"Why not him?" she demanded fiercely, turning on him just as they came to her door. When he didn't answer immediately, she huffed and went inside, only for him to follow and slam the door shut.
"He's not good for you, Ali!" he snapped, and her cheeks flushed with anger.
"He's good to me, he makes me happy, how is he not good for me?" She bit back, and sat down on the bed with another huff of irritation. "There's a thing in this universe called love, Theta, perhaps you should look it up! I know it doesn't come naturally to everybody, but to those of it that it does, it's important to us!"
Theta sighed, seeing that he wasn't going to win this battle, not today. He came to sit by her on the edge of the bed, and shot an apologetic look at her. She refused to look at him for several minutes, but eventually she turned her head so that their eyes met, and her shoulders slumped in resignation.
She couldn't be mad at him. Not really. Wordlessly, she leaned against him and put her head in his shoulder, and he felt himself smile a little. He looked around so that he could see her face properly, her eyes closed gently as she savoured the closeness of being with her best friend in a way that she hadn't recently. But then he saw that the shoulder of her dress has slipped down her arm a little, bearing some of the skin, and Theta felt anger begin to ignite inside his heart.
The skin was bruised, purple and blue all along the shoulder and upper arm. He felt his fingers stretch out to trace the edges lightly, and her eyes snapped up to look at his hand before meeting his eyes, the green irises full of quiet rage and sadness.
"This is love?" He asked darkly, his meaning clear.
"Don't judge him like that…" She whispered, looking away from him. "He doesn't do it on purpose, but he's just not gentle sometimes, it's not in his nature – why am I telling you this?" She stood up and went to look at herself in the mirror, pulling the dress back up to cover the marks on her skin.
Theta again felt bile almost rise in his throat. He could imagine it all too well, Koschei grabbing her shoulders harshly as they-
He shook himself out of the explicit and horrifying thoughts. Koschei had once been a best friend, someone he trusted completely. But now his true self was revealed.
Theta followed her to the mirror, where he stood behind and slowly pulled the fabric back down slightly. She watched him silently as his fingers ran over the bruises, and winced heavily when he applied pressure to one.
"How can you think that this is okay?" he asked sceptically, his voice sorrowful as his eyes lifted to look at her face. She blinked, tears gathering at the edge of her eyes.
"They're just bruises, they're nothing, so stop it! You're ruining it!" Aliya cried, pushing him away. "You don't know anything, you wouldn't understand love, Theta, you haven't loved anyone in the way that I love him!"
Theta felt as though he had been punched in the stomach, her words stinging his heart. "I'm sorry," he murmured, and threw her a despaired look before walking out, closing the door abruptly behind him. She watched him go and fought the urge to throw something at the door, but instead approached it, sliding down it until she sat against it, tears running down her cheeks both at his misunderstanding of Koschei and the fact that she seemed to have hurt him in some way. All she wanted to do was be with Koschei; was that wrong? Why did it bother him so much?
At the same time, Theta Sigma was leaning his head against the door, holding back tears of his own, her harsh words ringing in his head. You haven't loved anyone in the way that I love him! She was wrong, she was so, so wrong. There was someone that he loved, loved for years without saying anything, merely watching on the side, and it was the girl on the other side of the door.
Was he just supposed to stand by and let her be bruised, hurt both physically and mentally by someone he called a friend? By someone who had once been loved by him in a similar way, or so close to it, before things had changed so drastically?
No. There had to be some way he could protect her…someone that she would listen to.
"Theta Sigma, open this door right now!" Aliya shouted through his door, and he jumped in surprise. He opened the door to find a furious blonde glaring at him. He knew why he was in trouble, he had been expecting it.
What he didn't expect was the slightly visible red hand-print across her right cheek. He felt his eyebrow furrow in worry, and she raised her eyebrows, lightly touching the mark before dropping her hand.
"Yes, that's from my charming father, so nice of you to tell on me," she said overly sweetly, sarcasm dripping from her words. As always whenever she used sarcasm, he was momentarily confused, since she almost never used it.
"The Advocate did that to you?" he asked in disbelief, guilt ebbing at him slightly. It felt strange to say her father's title to her.
"Well, he yelled first, then I tried to argue with him, then he did it," She replied, and her mind remembered it too vividly.
"Aliyanadevoralundar, what's this I hear about you spending a lot of time with that Koschei of Oakdown? I've heard things from Irving Braxiatel, and I'm not sure that you've been behaving respectably…"
Her father's impressive beard was almost bobbing with the amount of vigour he was putting into his lecture.
"I've done nothing immoral, Father, I have a conscience and I know what I believe in! I have the right to spend time with and be friends with whoever I like!" Aliya cast her eyes around the extravagant room of the house she had grown up in as a child. She did not add that what she believed to be immoral was different from what he believed was.
"Right? You have the right to listen to your parents, you ignorant child! And that Theta Sigma, well, he may not be the best influence either, but at least he had the sense to inform me of your closeness to the Oakdown boy."
"Theta told you?" She could feel herself almost shaking with anger and betrayal.
"Yes, and I hope you've made some friends from more respectable Houses!"
"Millennia of Brightshore," she said, naming another member of the Deca.
The Advocate scoffed. "She's not even entirely all there, so they say, no matter how brilliant an engineer she might be." Aliya couldn't even be surprised at his dismissal - so few saw Millennia's full potential. "I heard a whisper that you associate with that mute, but until today I would never even considered it to be true. Tell me it isn't."
He was referring to Theta's unofficial biology tutor, Tenzinaderanian, an older student who was more or less shunned for being a complete psychic mute.
"We're not friends by any means, but I take no issue with her," Aliya said honestly. "She can't help how she was Loomed." It was not the opinion she had had originally, of course, but like with so many other things, Theta had helped open her eyes a little.
"I don't even know you anymore, you're speaking like a disgraceful liberal, or a renegade-"
"I'll speak however I like, and be friends with whoever I like, I am my own person and I shall do whatever I-"
His hand flew out and struck her across the cheek with such as a force that she was forced backwards, clutching her jaw while watching him with both defiance and pain swimming in her watering eyes.
"If you don't start respecting what I say, I'll have you moved to the Arcalian Academy, understood?" he said in a low tone, and she nodded before leaving for the transmat chamber of the residential property.
She had been angry with Theta for weeks, but eventually her anger had faded. Six months after that, she and Koschei got into a fight, and she came running back to her best friend like she had back in the beginning.
It had been four years since she had let Koschei back in the first time, and she was in Theta's room again, crying. If he remembered correctly, this would be the sixth time that she had left him. He also knew that it wouldn't last, that Koschei would get to her and that she would go back to him. It was an endless cycle.
"You were right," she was saying, sitting in front of him on his bed, tears staining her cheeks. "You're always right. But then he gets inside my head, and I don't know what's right and what's wrong. He scares me, Theta, it's unnatural, it's like he's controlling me, and I don't know what to do-"
She broke off into a sob, and he took her in his arms and let her cry until there were no tears left.
And later, when she went back to Koschei yet again, Theta reached for the shirt which she had covered with her tears, and he held it, wondering how much more either of them could take of this deadly game of emotional yo-yoing.
That was the moment that he realised that he needed to bring in a new player, someone that would throw Koschei off for good.
He needed Ushas.
