Frequent updates galore, my friends! Rejoice!

Sorry about the short update last time. But, this story will receive two more (loooong) updates before I take a small break from this fic in particular. I just need to take my time to update some other stuff ("Secrets of the Goddess"in particular), and after a few of those, I'll come back to this (probably around March).

Just a quick warning for the upcoming chapter, there will be a lot of gore (Pre-Timeskip Gaara's batshit crazy, I tell you) and, while it's nowhere near "The Butcher of Konoha" or "The True Horror of Konoha" level, it's pretty bad as far as I'm concerned.

And 10 points to those who pick up on the two subtle Ace Attorney references.

There's a Kingdom Hearts one too, though it's far more blunt.

Anyway, here's Chapter 8!

- x - x - x -

(*Haaaaaaannghh*)

The blond sighed for what was at least the 10th time in 5 minutes. About half the preliminaries were already over, and nothing interesting had happened!

Aside from that incident with Sasuke's Cursed Seal that is.

At the moment, two Leaf Kunoichi were engaged in a rather heated catfight over said unconscious Uchiha. Seriously! Neither of the two had bothered to cast any Jutsu, instead opting to claw at each other with manicured nails.

And after a good 2 minutes (and 7 more yawns) of this, it ended with a double knock-out, a fist planted firmly in the others face.

He sighed again.

'Seriously… I can understand why Sakura's performance was so far below average, since she's from a civilian family and never took training seriously (not that Kakashi bothered with that until recently) but Ino's from the Yamanaka clan. She's gotta' have at least one jutsu that we didn't learn in the academy!'

"Next Match: Misumi Tsurugi VS Sabaku no Gaara!" called the sickly Jonin.

The masked Leaf nin leapt onto the field. His opponent opted to disappear and reappear on the floor in a swirl of sand.

"Hajime!" called the proctor, leaping out of the way.

The Konoha Shinobi leapt at the short boy, dislocated arms flailing wildly as he went.

The red-head scoffed, uncorking his gourd and sending a stream of sand flying toward his opponent.

Once it was close enough, the tendril lashed out, enveloping the Leaf Ninja in a cocoon of sand.

With a toothy smile, and widened, icy-blue eyes, the Suna Nin lifted the tendril high and closed his open hand.

"Sabaku Kyuu!"

A muffled scream was heard as the sand contracted sharply. The audible snapping of bones echoed throughout the quiet arena, which had been silenced by the shouts of anguish.

(*PLOP*)

Blood flowed from the cocoon freely, falling down in large drops. They fell upon the boy's face, seemingly dying his already red hair even redder.

And that insane, wide grin never left his face.

Silently, the Sand Nin strode over to what remained of his fellow ninja, releasing the overpowering stench of blood and sight of open flesh to all those present. Those of the weak mind and stomach found themselves losing their lunch at the sight.

Grin still plastered over his cracked face, the Suna Shinobi reached deep within the carcass of his prey, causing even some of the Chuunin to avert their eyes. And he pulled out his arm to reveal…

A bluish-white soul, stained with the blood of its former resident.

Grasping it by the tail, the boy chomped down on and swallowed it whole, the essence of Misumi Tsurugi disappearing down his throat.

It was then that Kotetsu decided to voice the thoughts of everyone present.

"Holy shit…"

Izumo numbly nodded in agreement.

"...Shousa: Sabaku no Gaara…" muttered Hayate, wiping some of the blood off his face with his sleeve.

The medics took this time to sweep the guts off the stadium floor.

'That Gaara kid's fucked up...he ate that guy's soul too. He's probably one of those Kishin Egg things then. I'll ask Maka about it in my next letter...if she responds, that is…'

It was true. Maka hadn't responded to any of his letters for the past week or so. Death's postage system was extremely quick and efficient, so he knew that wasn't it…

'Or maybe Hiroshi's just screwing with me again...'

"Next Match!"

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the proctor's voice.

"Inuzuka Kiba VS Uzumaki Naruto! Will the contestants - *cough* - take the floor please?"

"Yahoo! Look Akamaru, we got a free pass to the finals!" cried the Inuzuka, leaping down to the stadium floor.

*ARF* woofed the small dog on Kiba's head.

Naruto leapt down silently, still a bit lost in his thoughts.

"Hajime!"

"Tsuuga!"

The spiralling grey drill struck the Konoha nin head on, brutally pulling him back to reality.

The teen's body flew a good 50 feet before coming to a stop on the opposite wall of the arena.

"Che! Call the match proctor, he won't be getting back up," he said, turning his back to the fallen boy.

He nodded, "The winner is-"

(*WHAM*)

The Inuzuka's face had planted itself into the ground.

Standing over him was the Uzumaki, fist extended from where he'd punched him. His jumpsuit was untouched, though he looked more pissed than anything else.

"Never underestimate me, dog-breath. Got it?"

All eyes in the stadium went back to where the orange nin's body had been moments before. They barely got a glance in, before it disappeared in smoke.

"Gk!" he muttered, standing and wiping blood from his nose, "You just got lucky dob-"

(*WHAM*)

A spinning backhand had sent the hooded teen back across the field, toward Akamaru.

(*ARF*)

The white dog looked at his master with worry. It wasn't long before the Inuzuka sat up, finger pointed accusingly.

"That was a cheap shot!"

Naruto chose not to say anything, instead drawing a kunai.

"Heh. Alright then. Akamaru!" he shouted, tossing the puppy a small pill.

In a puff of grey smoke, there were two Kiba's, each looking at the blond with a feral grin.

"Let's go buddy!"

"Gatsuuga!"

Two identical grey drills flew through the air, intent on ending the match.

The whiskered teen smirked, eyes shadowed by his hair, "If that's how you wanna' play…"

His fingers formed the cross-shaped handseal. In a flare of chakra, his voice was projected through every inch of the stadium.

"Then let's play."

In the blink of an eye, a clone appeared right next to him. In a puff of smoke, the duplicate had transformed into a large metal war-fan (think Temari's).

He lifted the weapon with his right hand, opening it up. It was heavy, the edges pure black, glinting from the lights above. The interior was a cool, shining blue, looking almost gray under the light.

He leapt forward at the two drills, swinging the thing with all his might.

"HYAH!"

The winds tore through the stadium, knocking the duo out of the jutsu, and flat on their asses. The gales had been powerful enough to be felt on the balconies above, some of the nin having to shield their eyes.

Speaking of the balconies…

"Grr! How dare that bastard copy my tessenjutsu like that!" muttered Temari through gritted teeth.

"Hey, how could he have? He's never seen it before, right?" said her hooded brother.

She didn't respond, instead gripping the railing even tighter, causing the metal to creak.

- x - x - x -

(*CLANG*)

Abandoning the earlier tactic, Kiba tried to get up close, engaging his fellow shinobi in taijutsu, rendering the rather clunky fan useless. With a kunai in each hand, and Akamaru on the other side following suit, the duo proceeded to lead an all-out assault from both sides.

The nin grit his teeth, eyes flying between the two, dodging and deflecting their blows best he could.

It wasn't long before a clawed hand made its way past his guard, slashing across his chest, leaving 4 trailing gashes behind.

"Gk!"

Naruto winced in pain, as the two let up on the attack, jumping away from him.

"Ha! Are Akamaru and I too much for ya' dobe?!" he shouted.

The Uzumaki glared at the Inuzuka, wounds sizzling and stitching themselves back together.

"Not a chance, dog breath."

He tossed the fan upward, the weapon shining white and shifting, before falling back into his hand in the form of a Kusarigama.

It was sharp and deadly, that was for sure. The handles were sleek silver, connected together by a black chain. The upper part of the blades were jet black, the lower part the same light blue as the war fan.

Spinning the chain, he swung the weapon at the two, causing them to leap out of the arc of metal.

- x - x - x -

"Kakashi-sensei, how is he doing that?" asked the recently awoken Sakura, "I thought Henge was supposed to be an illusion technique?"

"Hm? He's fighting?" said the Jonin, looking up from his book, "Huh. I didn't notice."

The look of distaste he was getting from his fellow Jonin was ignored in favor of the piece of literature.

- x - x - x -

The two Kibas dodged the next set of attacks, both landing in a crouch at the opposite sides of the arena.

It was a bit of a stalemate. Kiba couldn't get in close because of the scythes, and he couldn't try long range because of the scythes (not to mention he kinda' sucked at it). And on the other hand with the two attacking at once, Naruto found himself unable to hit them.

It was then where he almost face-palmed. Good thing he didn't, since the blade would've gone through his forehead.

"Kage Bunshin!" he shouted, forming the seal while holding the scythes.

A massive cloud of smoke enveloped the area. A group of 10 doppelgangers split off into groups, in an attempt to distract the pair.

Meanwhile, the original was working on something within the smoke cloud.

Turned out, attempting to fight an Inuzuka in Taijutsu was equivalent to suicide, as the clones learned from Kiba's brutal attacks.

And the moment the last dispelled, Naruto and a clone jumped out, shuriken between their fingers.

He threw the damn things as hard as he could, his clone doing the same. They were all deflected by the two's claws however, planting themselves into the ground.

And it was then that everything began to fall into place.

All the shuriken burst into smoke, revealing their true identities as Bunshin.

"Shit!"

"NA!"

"RU!"

"TO!"

In a series of brutal uppercuts, the duo were launched into the air.

And met the spinning axe kicks head on.

"Uzumaki Barrage!"

The two were sent flying headfirst into the ground. If it weren't for the shuriken-clones catching them, they would've broken their necks.

It was clear they were unconscious, as one of the "Kibas" dispersed to reveal a knocked-out puppy.

The proctor shook his head with a small smile, "Shousa: Uzumaki Naruto!"

All conscious Konoha Genin began to cheer.

- x - x - x -

"YEAH! Way to go, Naruto!" screamed his pink-haired teammate.

"Wow, that was awesome!" shouted the Akimichi between mouthfuls of chips.

Shikamaru and Shino nodded their heads, making mental notes of what had transpired.

'Incredible. Solid Henge, and use of Shadow Clones to provide multi-form weapons…just incredible, Naruto-kun,' thought the Third, blowing some smoke from his pipe.

"'Naruto Uzumaki Barrage', hm? What a ripoff…" muttered the lazy Jonin.

- x - x - x -

(*CLINK CLINK CLINK*)

The familiar sound of a screw turning filled the air, as the group of hired Kusa nin raced back and forth, carrying lumber and metal beams.

Spirit walked up to the grey-haired man and sat next to him.

"How long until construction is finished?" he asked pulling out a cigarette.

"About two weeks at this rate," said the scientist, handing the red-haired man a beat-up looking lighter.

He lit the death stick, taking a long breath, before exhaling the obnoxious fumes.

"So I heard from those Kusa Ninja that the Chuunin Exams are coming up," he said.

"Hm? Chuunin Exams? What are those?" he asked the Death Scythe.

"It's a kinda' tournament-like thing Ninja's do to get promoted. The finals are in about a month from now, and are being held in Konoha," he said, cig in his mouth.

"Hmmmm…." he murmured, turning the screw in his head a bit more.

Without warning, the meister leapt to his feet.

"Ack! Stein, what the hell?!"

"Attention everyone! I have an announcement!"

The students all looked up from what they were doing.

"In exactly 30 days, we will be attending the Chuunin Exam Finals in Konoha! That is all!"

Spirit's jaw nearly touched the damn floor, cigarette falling from his lips.

"Huh!?"

- x - x - x -

"Ahh! This is awesome!"

Instead of heading straight home like most of the other contestants, Naruto had opted to go to one of the many hot springs near his apartments. The hot water was really doing a wonder on his sore muscles. It was a rather slow day too, so he had the whole male side all to himself.

It was another half an hour before the heat really started to get to him. So he wrapped his lower half with a towel, and headed back to the locker rooms.

He emerged a few minutes later, with his orange pants and black shirt, dirty jacket draped over his shoulder when he heard a small noise.

It was soft, almost as if the source didn't want anyone else to hear. It sounded like a small giggle, and it was coming from across the building.

Calmly, our protagonist walked around the place to the women's side. And there, hiding in a potted plant, was an old man, gazing into the springs with blood dripping from his nose, giggling perversely ever so often.

He sighed to himself and changed into his Oiroke form. He (now she) inhaled as much breath as his/her lungs would carry, before shouting with all his might:

"PERVERT!"

S/he then punted the old letch into the springs, the sounds of screams, beatings, and righteous female fury reaching his ears.

He dispelled the technique, walking through the abandoned streets of the red-light district.

"UAAAAGH!"

The loud cry of pain was the only warning he had as the same man from earlier came crashing down into the street with the force of a meteor.

"Pfft. Serves ya' right, old perv," he muttered before walking away.

"Y-you…"

"Hm?"

"You dare call me a pervert!?"

In a flash, the man was up, seemingly unharmed. He gave the boy a double thumbs-up.

"I AM A SUPER PERVERT!"

The blond merely turned and continued his trek down the road.

"H-hey! Man, kids these days have no respect for legends…"

He paused and turned.

"Perverted legends, or actual legends?"

The older man looked at the hitai-ate on the teen's forehead.

"Well, if you're a ninja, you're bound to have heard of me!"

It was then that the man did the weirdest dance he'd ever seen.

"I am the Great Toad Sage! One of the Three Great Sannin! Jiraiya the Gallant!"

"I'm leaving," muttered the blond, "Maybe I should get Old Man Third to give me some more tips for training tomorrow…"

"Training, eh? Tell ya' what!" said the Sannin, running up to him.

"I'll give ya' all the training you want," he said, hands squeezing the air, "If you stay in that transformed state you used earlier!"

"Not on your life, you Perverted Sage," he said, shrugging him off and entering his apartment complex.

He climbed the stairs, taking the key he kept behind his headband. He inserted it and entered no problem.

He looked down at the floor, "No mail again, huh?"

He tossed the jacket onto his only chair and threw the other clothes in the small grocery bag that served as a hamper. Looked like he was going to the laundromat tomorrow.

He grabbed his grey nightcap off the small shelf above his closet and put it on.

He shut off the swinging, flickering ceiling lamp and climbed into bed.

'Maybe I'll get some Ichiraku's tomorrow.'

'Yeah, that sounds good...'

- x - x - x -

"W-what? We're going to the exams?" asked Spirit, stepping lightly on the cigarette butt.

"Why not? It'll give the student's a better understanding of the way the shinobi system works," muttered the scientist, taking a long drag from his own cig.

Meanwhile, the students were having their own little conversation.

"So does anybody know exactly what a Chuunin Exam is?" asked Black*Star.

"Well," started Maka, "Shinobi are split into 6 main ranks. There are the academy students, who are still learning the tricks of the trade.

Then there are Genin, who take on missions. These are more teamwork building excersices than anything else, with no real danger to them.

After that are the Chuunin, who take higher risk missions. Their like the Two-Star Meisters of Shinobi. I can only assume that a 'Chuunin Exam' would be to promote eligible genin."

"Wow! How do you know all this stuff Maka?"

"Um, I- er, well, we would...um…"

"We lived here once about 7 years ago!" said her father happily, clapping his hands onto her shoulders.

"Wha? Papa!"

"We were stationed in Konoha to see if the place was eligible for opening up a campus. Of course, the initial plans fell through, but after the recent outbreak of Kishin Eggs, Death decided to return to the original plan!"

"W-wow! So you've lived here before, Maka?"

She send a light glare at her father, who suddenly realized he had other stuff to do, whistling as he went.

- x - (The Next Day) - x -

"HUAH!"

The large fan was swung at a wide angle, the gale tearing through the forest. The howling winds uprooted, and damn near obliterated some of the trees.

"Fuuton: Repuusho!"

The jutsu flew through the air, dislodging leaves, branches, and grass.

"Dammit! What the hell is with this!?"

The blond shinobi sat down in the center of the field, war fan strapped to his back.

'Seriously...I spend an entire week's worth of Kage Bunshin training on Wind Jutsu, and it turns out this damn war fan in stronger? Not that I'm complaining, but still...'

"You're control sucks, that's what's wrong."

"!"

He turned his head at the voice, to find the old pervert from yesterday.

"...What?"

"Your control is terrible. It's Genin level at best, and that shit's not gonna' fly during the Exam Finals."

"Well, for your information, you old fart," he said, jumping to his feet, "I worked on my control at for at least 4 years worth of time, so you can piss off."

"Oi, who the heck are you calling an old fart!?" he said, doing that ridiculous dance again, "I'm Jiraiya of the Sannin kid, don't forget it!"

"Yeah? Well I'm Uzumaki Naruto, future Godaime Hokage!" he said, raising his fist, "Don't you forget it!"

"Future 5th Hokage, huh?"

A light breeze flew across the silent training field, brushing over the grass.

"Tell you what," he said, drawing a square around him in the dirt, "If you can either force me out of this area, or force me to use a jutsu, I'll teach you one of the Fourth Hokage's signature techniques," said the Sage, extending his hand.

"Deal!" said Naruto, shaking the hand without a thought.

It was then that the old man pulled the blond nin forward, straight into his waiting knee. He spit up blood from the winding blow to his stomach, stumbling over and falling on his back.

"That was for the hot springs, brat."

"Hey, in my (*wheeze*) defense, you deserved that for peeping on them in the first place," he muttered, pulling himself to his feet.

Jiraiya crossed his arms and drove his geta sandals into the ground.

"Alright, now that that's out of the way, it's your move kid."

Naruto nodded, wiping the blood from his mouth.

"Here I come!"

- x - x - x -

It had been an entire 3 hours, and our protagonist was lying on the floor, gasping for air. The damn perv hadn't moved two steps from his original position, and it was starting to piss him off. He'd tried everything he could think of, having Shadow Clones turn into spiked iron clubs, maces, axes, even a freaking giant key at one point, and the Sannin had shrugged it off like it was nothing!

The fact that he was reading the same book as his asshole-of-a-sensei Kakashi, letting out a perverted giggle every so often, only added insult to injury.

"Ready to give it up, brat?"

He pushed himself up onto shaky legs.

"I'm just….getting….STARTED!"

He formed the Kage Bunshin seal once more, an audible pop and cloud of smoke signifying the creation of a single one.

It nodded and leapt into the air, form glowing white and shifting into that of an odd katana.

The design was intricate, the handle wrapped in slightly worn leather. The guard (if you could call it that) was an ornate silver. Attached to the base was a small chain-like object with the Uzumaki clan symbol engraved in a pendant at its end. The blade was the same cool blue as all his other weapons, the curve of the blade reminiscent of a crescent moon.

And the blond leapt at him again, using the weapon's flashy appearance to his advantage to distract his opponent.

It didn't work.

The Toad Sage easily caught the hand he was using to wield the sword, causing him to drop it in surprise.

Or so it seemed.

The "Naruto" in front of him turned to smoke, mimicking the actions of a smoke pellet.

And the katana that fell revealed the original, well within the Sannin's guard, who let loose a vicious uppercut.

All the surprised Sannin could do was block, with no time to perform the Needle Jizo in fear of severely injuring the young teen, and in doing so was launched back, well out of the area of the square.

He landed on his feet, geta sandals clacking on the rough earth, before sighing in acceptance.

"Alright brat, you win. I'll teach you one of his jutsu…" he muttered, unsealing a small crate of water balloons.

'Still though. A Genin managing to beat me in any form of combat is a pretty big kick in the-'

"Oi! Stop having your perverted fantasies and continue!"

"Hey, show a little respect kid. Don't you know who you're talking to?"

"Yeah, yeah, Jirobo of the Sennin, I get it."

"IT'S JIRAIYA OF THE SANNIN DAMMIT!" he roared, eyes white with fury.

He sighed again, "Seriously, Orochimaru got all the respect…"

The blond looked up in surprise.

"You know Orochimaru?"

The Toad Sannin looked at the kid indignantly, "Are you serious?! You know who he is, but not me!?"

"Of course I know him! He's the one who gave Sasuke that Cursed Hickey of Heaven or something, right?"

The old shinobi sighed for the 3rd time in mere seconds, "Never mind. Here watch."

He took the water-filled balloon in one of his hands and concentrated. The sphere appeared to contract in multiple areas rapidly before exploding.

"Whoa!"

The Sannin stood tall, what little pride he had lost returning to him, "Yes! The Rasengan in the highest form of shape manipulation! It took me an entire two weeks to master the first sta-"

(*POP*)

"Eh?!"

And what little he had regained was quickly lost again.

For what remained of a second water balloon were a puddle and bits of rubber.

"So what's the next stage Ero-Sennin?"

- x - (28 days later) - x -

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah, just a sec!"

Maka finished unzipped her small pack, checking to see if everything was there. A few books, some "snacks", a spare set of clothes (hey, you never know), and her cell phone.

"Alright! Let's go!"

The band of weapons and meisters made their way out of the newly-built Shibusen, and into the forest.

'Konoha again, huh?'

A series of memories flashed through her mind. Of the day they met, the day at the ramen stand and the park, the day of departure…

And the day of that fateful promise...

'I hope I'll see Naruto there...'

- x - x - x -

Holy Crap, that was a long update!

There should be another one coming your way on Sunday or Monday, depending on how much I can get done.

Seriously, being sick sucks.

But hey, two chapters from now, two old friends will reunite! Watch out for that!

'Til Then!

- Objection234