Used to be
"It's getting late." Vivio commented lightly, keeping her features neutral as she helped Fate clean up the dishes and pans from the stir-fry the enforcer had thrown together. She certainly hadn't expected her godmother to take over the situation like she did, but it was welcomed, and if she squinted just hard enough, it was almost like things were the way they used to be.
"It is." the blonde agreed, elbows deep in soapy water. "You should get to bed. I can finish up here and have Bardiche engage the locks."
The teenager used her forearm to push her bangs out of her eyes and took a handful of silverware from Fate, briefly dunking them under the cool running water for a rinse. "Aren't you tired?"
Fate shook her head as she focused her efforts on a particularly stubborn frying pan. "I don't sleep much. I've kinda gotten used to operating on just a few hours."
Vivio snorted. "Don't let Nanoha-mama hear you say that."
The enforcer bit back any witty retort she could have made.
"Because, you know, you could always stay here for the night…" the teenager trailed off, trying to look disinterested.
Fate arched a brow as she passed the pan to the girl for a rinse. "Vivio…"
"What?" Bright eyes batted up at her innocently. "Dinner was good, you know? Made me kind of miss those awesome breakfasts you used to make."
"I'm thinking that isn't such a good idea."
"Why not? You guys got along today, right?"
Fate's thoughts drifted briefly towards the instructor sleeping in the upstairs bedroom, and the warm hand that had been on her thigh, but it didn't do anything to help her mood. At least their little grocery shopping excursion this morning hadn't been too terrible, and although things had gotten uncomfortable for a moment, they had managed to stay in close proximity without it turning into a fight. Not too bad, all things considered, although she was sure that it wasn't going to be easy to get to sleep tonight. "We did."
"Well then, see?" Vivio replied confidently. "There's no problem."
The enforcer sighed, pulling the plug in the sink and reaching for a dish towel, not daring to make eye contact. This kid was her weakness, and she knew it, but before Fate could formulate any sort of response, Bardiche's metallic tone echoed from her pocket.
"Sir, incoming call from Inspector Nakajima."
Fate bit her lip as her heart somersaulted in her chest, and when she looked up and met bright hopeful eyes, it took everything in her to stifle a groan.
Damn.
"Ignore it." Fate muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose and squeezing her eyes shut. Really, at this point, why did anyone even bother to contact her at all? She never answered any of her damn calls anyway…
Vivio threw her arms around the enforcer, squeezing her tight. "You're the best, Fate-mama."
"Yeah, yeah." Fate murmured, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. "Get to bed now."
"You wanna sleep in my room?"
"It's alright sweetie." The blonde replied with a crooked grin. "I'm sure the couch is just as comfortable as I remember."
Years later, when Fate looked back on her life and all the significant changes that had taken place in it, she realized that the most life altering events of all had started a week after she had crashed on Nanoha's couch, and it had begun in the most mundane way far too early on a Wednesday morning.
Why she chose to answer that call when she had gotten so adept at dodging any communication, she would never know…
-One week later-
"Sir, incoming call."
Fate snapped awake, bolting upright in bed, bleary and disoriented, fists up and ready to swing as she searched for an unknown enemy in the dark. "Where am I?" she rasped, her voice rough with sleep. In her head, she was still hunted, tracking unknown assailants through the jungles and…
"Home, sir."
The enforcer shook her head dazedly as the world came back into focus, and she let out a slow breath. No terrorists. No hostiles. No monsters…
Just her.
She willed herself to relax, tight fists uncurling as she flexed her fingers, and wincing when the joints popped in protest. Her hair clung to her forehead and the back of her neck, damp with sweat, and she tried in vain to adjust her equally damp tank top, peeling it away from sticky skin, though the action provided no comfort.
Nights like these were always the worst, and they always seemed to throw her off for the rest of the day.
"Incoming call from Raising Heart."
One thing at a time.
Maybe Hayate had been right after all. Maybe she had been working just a bit too much, though she would never openly admit it. Fate blinked slowly, the rush of adrenaline already fading, and she raked a hand through her hair as her heart rate returned to normal. A glance at the bright red display told her what she already figured, judging from the sounds of the morning birds outside her window despite the still darkened sky.
The perfect time to trade one problem for another.
"Put it through."
There was a brief hiss as the communication line linked up, and Fate tapped the screen to switch over to voice only. The last thing she needed was for anyone else to see her looking like, well, how did Signum put it last time? A deranged homeless person?
"Fate-chan?"
"Yeah, go ahead." Fate mumbled, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand.
"I'm sorry, did I wake you up?"
"What's wrong?" the blonde replied gruffly, wincing a bit at her own gravely tone. People skills. Probably wouldn't be a bad idea to brush up on them.
Nanoha sensed the tension in the enforcer's voice, and paused a moment.
"It's alright." Fate tried again, softer this time, vividly picturing the disappointed look she was sure Nanoha would be sporting. "Go ahead."
"I…I have a bit of a problem, and I need to ask a huge favor of you."
No less than six hours later, Fate found herself on Earth, the silvery energy under her feet from the teleporter crackling as it dissipated. She pushed her sunglasses back up on her face and smoothed down her hair, taking a moment to take in her surroundings and gather her bearings.
It had been a few years since she had been here last, but standing there under the warm sun on a bridge she had grown all too familiar with, she felt the gentle tugs of nostalgia. While the hand railings were a little worn, and the paint had faded and chipped in some places, this place had remained relatively unchanged, a welcomed feeling in a time where everything else in her life had.
Twenty years ago she had stood in this exact same spot, and Nanoha had run to her, cheeks pink with the excitement from seeing Fate again after her trial had ended, and she had been considered rehabilitated. Closing her eyes and sucking in another lungful of crisp ocean air, she could almost swear that she could still hear Nanoha's excited cries carrying towards her on the summer breeze.
It was almost comforting to know that time could never touch this place.
"Enforcer Harlaown, return transport is scheduled for thirteen hundred hours."
"Thanks, I got it." Fate grumbled good naturedly, shoving her hands in her pockets and setting off down the concrete path she knew by heart.
She hadn't even had the chance to knock on the door, hand still raised, before it was thrown open and she was pulled into a near bone-crushing hug.
"Fate!" A gentle voice murmured near her ear as the hold tightened for a moment. "This is such a surprise!"
Well. She couldn't argue there.
"Y…yes it is."
Momoko Takamachi pulled back from the embrace, her warm blue eyes sparkling with pure joy. "Look at you! Just as beautiful as I remembered!"
"A…ah, thank you." Fate stammered with a light blush, suddenly feeling like she was ten all over again, and knowing that no amount of caffeine could prepare her for what was to come. "Sorry for the intrusion, but Nanoha had to wrap some things up at work. I'm here to take you to Mid-Childa."
"It's no intrusion, honey." Momoko replied easily enough. "You're family."
"Thank you." Fate replied again, and sincerely meaning it.
"But seeing as you are family…"
The enforcer blinked in confusion as her sunglasses were removed from her face in a movement that was almost too fast to track, and the elder Takamachi leaned in, eyeing her features critically.
"You haven't been sleeping well."
Fate almost flinched under the intense gaze than was almost identical to Nanoha's. "That's…well…"
"And you're way too thin!"
"A...ah?"
"Come on." A firm hand gripped the blonde's wrist before she could protest and tugged her into the house with ease. "We are not going anywhere until you eat something."
An embarrassed blush creeped up the back of Fate's neck and tinted the tips of her ears a vibrant red.
She knew better than to argue.
"So, are you happy living on your own? Nanoha had mentioned that you rarely come home, or even take a furlough." Momoko questioned lightly, though the look on her face was anything but.
Fate tensed, her eyes flickering over to the passenger seat briefly as her hands gripped the wheel a little tighter. This woman was fierce, and certainly didn't play around. Ever since they had returned to Mid-Childa, the enforcer had been peppered with an almost non-stop barrage of questions regarding her activities and all the things that had occurred since the two women had spoken last, and she decided the best defense was to stay carefully vague. "I like to keep busy."
"Any particular reason?"
"Keeps me young?" Fate tried with a lopsided grin.
Momoko didn't bite and remained on track, her hands folded neatly in her lap. "How do you like Yuuno?"
Begin emergency evacuation sequence.
"He's…fine. I guess. I mean, as long as she's happy…" Fate trailed off, mentally cringing at how fake and hollow it sounded. Struggling to recover, she tried again. "I mean, he's smart, so…" she paused, wincing slighty.
Very convincing. Good job.
She would probably never have a decent answer, so quitting while she was ahead seemed to be the most sensible course of action. What was she supposed to say? 'Sorry, Mrs. Takamachi, but I would love nothing more than to deck him, throw your daughter over my shoulder, and fly off into the sunset.'? Brilliant. Fate suppressed her laughter. Lack of sleep plus serious conversations always equaled bad, bad things. At least Nanoha's house was in sight now, and that meant she would be saved from any further questioning.
Perhaps she should slip a recruitment pamphlet for the Investigator's unit into Momoko's suitcase? Fate swallowed her nervousness and grinned a little at the thought. These Takamachi women would most certainly be the death of her someday. Steady hands guided the car up to the curb, shifting it into park with a silent sigh of gratitude. Almost there. She was almost there. Just had to get Momoko to the door and…
"Can I tell you something, just between us?" The older woman asked quietly, laying a hand on Fate's shoulder and startling the enforcer out of her thoughts.
Uh oh.
Fate nodded mutely, wondering why she was always ambushed like this in her car. Someday, she would just take a nice, long, quiet drive, just her, and maybe some awesomely depressing music, and…
"I had always thought Nanoha would have chosen someone a little softer."
The blonde froze, the confusion evident in her dark eyes.
Momoko just smiled, that same, warm bright smile. "And you, my dear, are about as soft as they get."
Confusion changed to quiet recognition, and then shock as her eyes widened. The blush was back, and this time, Fate couldn't shake it off.
"Thank you for proving my point." the elder Takamachi laughed.
Fate still couldn't get over the fact that she was even having this conversation, and with Nanoha's mother of all people. And speaking of which, a conversation usually required more than one individual. She should say something, hell, anything, at this point, and she was starting to feel the tingles of panic traveling up her spine. Thirty seconds. In just thirty, ridiculously insane seconds, her world flipped upside down, and her throat had gone impossibly dry. Swallowing hard, she struggled to find words with a tongue that felt like lead, and she knew that if she looked down at her hands, she would see them shaking. "I…I'm sorry if I…"
"No." Momoko replied firmly with a shake of her head. "Don't be sorry. Don't ever be sorry. I know you love her, very much, and I know from experience that that sort of devotion can bring a lot of pain."
There was a flicker of movement from the doorway of the house, and Fate knew she didn't have much time left. Her heart was hammering so loud she was sure the whole neighborhood could hear it, and her blood roared in her ears. This, this was really happening, wasn't it? Feeling dumb and slow, she went with the only question her brain could come up with. "How did you…"
"Don't give up." the older woman said gently. "It's easy to quit when things look their darkest, but don't ever give up." Momoko turned away, giving her daughter a slight wave through the car window before facing the enforcer one more time. "I think…I think she's confused, and maybe she's already given up herself."
Nanoha's voice carried over to the car, and Fate slid her sunglasses back on, suddenly feeling far too vulnerable without them. Time's up, but that had been her problem all along, hadn't it? Unfortunately, there was a big difference between giving up and accepting reality so that she could move on. It was unhealthy to continue to wish for something she was sure she'd never get, and she knew all too well that it was far too easy to get wrapped up in the past.
"And go visit your mother!" Momoko added with a laugh, giving the blonde's shoulder a playful tap to lighten the mood. "You're all she talks about on the phone anymore. She misses you terribly!"
Ah, Fate realized with a grin. Mom and her big mouth. "Yes ma'am."
They were going to have a discussion about this, to be sure.
Fate hoisted Momoko's suitcase out of the trunk with ease and watched the Takamachi reunion through tinted lenses, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips when Nanoha all but leaped into her mother's arms, the joy clearly evident on her face. It had been quite awhile since she had seen Nanoha so happy, and despite her initial misgivings, she had been glad she had decided to do the ace a favor after all. But the day had been long already, and the night was sure to be longer, judging by her morning so far, and as she followed them up the walk, lurking half in the doorway, she became fully intent on dropping off the suitcase and finding a nice dark corner to go have a drink in.
"Staying for dinner?" Vivio piped up, taking the suitcase from Fate and passing it to her mother, flashing the enforcer a wide grin.
"Actually, I've got to…"
"Fate would be delighted." Momoko finished for her, a hand on her hip and a look in her eye that clearly said, 'Did you forget about everything we just talked about?' "She was just telling me in the car about how her schedule was clear for the next few days."
Meanwhile, Fate's brows knitted together in an expression that clearly mirrored the panic she was starting to feel again.
Nanoha's gaze flickered between her mother and her friend, now extremely curious as to what happened in the car, and why Fate looked like she was being held hostage.
"Come on." Vivio said with a bright smile, ignoring the tension and grabbing Fate's hand with a tug. "You can hang out with me."
As Fate was blindly led through the house with Momoko's words echoing in her head, she wondered when she had gotten so soft.
"Ah." Vivio scowled, brow furrowing as she eyed her nails critically. "All this technology, and you'd think they'd find a better way to apply nail polish."
"There is." Fate replied with a grin, taking the bottle from the teenager's hand and shifting on the couch so she was facing the girl. "Wipe that off, and we'll do it again, like we used to do."
Vivio gave her a smile that clearly indicated her intentions all along, and Fate had to control the urge to roll her eyes. This girl had her wrapped around her finger, and she knew it.
"It's gotten awfully quiet out there." Nanoha muttered from her post over the cutting table, cocking an ear towards the kitchen doorway and in the direction of the living room.
"They're fine, I'm sure." Momoko laughed, pushing up her sleeves to her elbows. "Fate's a grown woman, and Vivio nearly so. What trouble could they get into?"
"I can only imagine." the instructor sighed. "Fate's a sucker for puppy eyes, and Vivio has got some of the best out there."
"Speaking from experience?"
"Hey, I'm only doing what I picked up from you." Nanoha replied with a laugh. "I've seen what you do to dad."
"Poor Fate."
"She's fine. Sometimes I think she enjoys it." Nanoha muttered, obviously distracted as her curiosity was getting the better of her. She laid down her knife and removed her apron, flicking dark hair back over her shoulder and smoothing out her blouse.
"You're terrible. Just leave them alone." Momoko chastised lightly, knowing Nanoha's intentions all too well.
"Just a peek." The ace promised, quickly ducking out of the kitchen and making her way down the hall before her mother had a chance to argue.
From her vantage point now in the archway, she caught sight of Vivio with her hand on Fate's knee, head tilted as the enforcer leaned slightly over, wholly concentrating on applying a perfect coat of paint to Vivio's fingernails. She could remember many a time when Vivio had been small of this exact same scenario, and she would probably never get over the fact that Fate could get the little girl to sit still for far longer than she could. Her heart warming at the sight, Nanoha allowed herself a private smile, and satisfied, she was about to head back to the kitchen when the conversation suddenly piqued her interest and halted her in her tracks.
"Did you ever call Ginga back?" Vivio questioned, eyes on the blonde though Fate kept her eyes on her work.
"Hm? About what?"
"The last time you were here, and she called late at night."
"I did." Fate replied neutrally, moving on to another finger. "What brought this up?"
"Are you dating her?"
Dark eyes flickered up at last and caught the teenager's. "Pretty sure we've covered this."
"So no?" Vivio tried, shifting in her seat a little.
"Hold still, and no." Fate murmured with a light grin.
"Sorry." she replied sheepishly, tugging at a stray lock of ashen blonde hair, her nervousness not having gone unnoticed by Fate. "I've been thinking about some things, and I was wondering if I could ask you some questions?"
The enforcer chuckled warmly. "Even if I said no, you'd probably ask anyway."
"Probably." Vivio agreed, chewing on her lower lip and pausing for a moment, trying to gauge the older woman's mood before proceeding further. "H…have you ever kissed her?"
Fate faltered for half a second, the brush hovering in midair.
Oh yes. More sleep would be fantastic right about now.
"So, is that a yes?" Vivio tried quietly.
Fate recovered and painted the last nail on that hand, while an internal debate raged in her mind. Vivio was certainly old enough to ask such questions, but she wasn't sure how truthful her answer should be. Maybe she was curious? The enforcer frowned pensively, not liking where that train of thought was leading her. This wasn't the talk, was it? Because really, Nanoha was suited so much more for this type of thing than she was.
And then the fear set in.
Vivio had grown into a beautiful young lady, and although she wasn't Nanoha's daughter by blood, Fate could swear she was starting to look more and more like her with each passing day. Even now, dressed in just a simple t-shirt and jeans, her effortless beauty shone through, and she looked like the kind of girl men would fight for. She had taken to wearing her blonde hair in a simple ponytail, again, much like her mother, and her unique eyes always seemed to sparkle with mischief. Not to mention that if she grew any taller, Fate would have to start looking up to her for a change.
She was probably the center of attention at school, and that alone was enough to put a rock in the enforcer's stomach.
Vivio had never mentioned a boyfriend. Or…girlfriend, for that matter, so maybe she was just blowing this whole thing out of proportion, but what if she wasn't? She was sixteen already, and Fate had already missed out on some of her more tumultuous years, so who knows what had happened in the years since she had been gone? Was she just curious for her sake? BecauseHayate would have far more experience in the girlfriend field that Fate would have, but the thought of turning over a curious teenager to Hayate was enough to…
Her jaw clenched tight, and Vivio patted the top of her head in a comforting gesture.
"Fate-mama." Vivio laughed, "You need to relax. You look like you're going to have an aneurism."
Fate tried a smile, but it was shaky at best. "I do?"
"I've been over that stuff in school already. Calm down."
Oh thank god.
Meanwhile, Nanoha would have burst into laughter at the enforcer's plight if Vivio's question hadn't nibbled on the edge of her thoughts.
"It's like you can read my mind." Fate grumbled, while internally she let out a deep-seated sigh of relief. Dodged a bullet there.
"Well, your face got really pale, and you looked like you were about to fall over."
"Sorry." Fate grinned sheepishly, finishing with the first hand and motioning for the second. "I haven't had much practice with this sort of thing."
Zero, actually.
"Are you going to answer my question?"
Bullet? Nope. More like a homing missile.
The enforcer caught her eyes again and swallowed the lump in her throat. She and Nanoha had always instilled in Vivio the notion that honesty was always the best policy, and that lies had a way of causing too much hurt. Someday, Vivio might find herself in such a confusing situation, and Fate would hope that she and Nanoha would have taught her enough to make it through relatively unscathed. It was with a weary heart that she conceded defeat and steeled her gut. If things with Ginga did proceed any further, she wasn't going to be able to hide it forever. "Yes. Yes I have."
Vivio arched her brows in surprise, especially at the way Fate's cheeks flushed pink. They weren't dating, but they had kissed? She fidgeted again and cast her eyes downward, almost wary of proceeding now. "Fate-mama, how do you know if you love someone?"
Now the enforcer felt overly suspicious, given the line of questioning. "…are you datingsomeone? Because I'm sure you remember the rule."
Vivio rolled her eyes. "I know, I know. Not until I'm fifty."
"And even then…"
"I know, I know." The teenager sighed. "You have ways of making a body disappear."
Fate was tickled briefly with a smug sense of satisfaction. "Good girl."
"You avoided the question again."
"So did you."
"I'm not seeing anyone." Vivio huffed. "Your turn."
Fate paused, turning the words over in her mind carefully before speaking, and was suddenly thankful to have something to keep her hands busy. "How do you know if you're in love?" She let out a long sigh, her thoughts immediately drawn to the woman in the other room. "Simply put, I think it's the feeling you get when you're around that other person. You want to be with them forever, and make them happy, no matter what."
"So, what about butterflies and all that?"
The enforcer's eyes softened. "Yeah, that's definitely a part of it. It gets hard to think, and sometimes, you think you can feel yourself going crazy if you can't see them, or even talk to them, depending on the circumstances."
Vivio nodded solemnly, brow etched deep in thought. "Do you…feel that way around Ginga?"
"I know that I want her to be happy." Fate replied quietly, her features slipping into a gentle smile.
Vivio's gaze softened. "Does she love you?"
"Nanoha?" Momoko's voice rang down the hall. "Are you coming back anytime soon?"
Fate and Vivio froze, eyes on the doorway, but the ace had already made a hasty departure.
Ducking into the bathroom, Nanoha quietly clicked the lock in place and leaned against the door, letting out a breath she hadn't realized that she had been holding. There had been something between Fate and Ginga after all. The confirmation twisted her stomach up into knots, and she wasn't sure she liked the implications as to why. Thumping the back of her head against the door, she squeezed her eyes shut and willed her heartbeat to slow down. She felt sick, and her chest felt constricted, as though an invisible fist had gripped her heart and squeezed.
Hard.
When had it happened? She knew that the two of them had been paired up in missions quite often, and there was that mention of an incident when they had run into Ginga at the mall, added to the way the Investigator was always so 'hands on' with Fate…
Fate.
She was bound to find someone sooner or later, but Nanoha hadn't expected it to bother her as much as it did. Ginga was a nice girl, really she was, but Nanoha couldn't understand what it was about the woman that got to her so badly.
The instructor opened her eyes and caught a glance of her own reflection in the bathroom mirror, her features numbly blank, her skin pale, and she felt her throat swell shut.
She hated the way Ginga could worm her way in, pulling warm smiles and quiet laughter from Fate effortlessly. She hated the way Ginga could wrap her arms around the blonde, with an ease of familiarity and a level of comfort Nanoha is sure that she herself will never be capable of again. She hated the way Ginga would lean in close to murmur something in the shell of Fate's ear, thick eyelashes batting flirtatiously, but most of all, she hated the way Fate smiled back.
At first, she had chalked it up to Ginga just taking her place as Fate's closest friend, after everything they had been through, but just watching them, well, Nanoha just couldn't stand it. She couldn't picture Fate going to someone else for comfort, couldn't picture her in someone else's arms, couldn't picture her taking Ginga, pulling her close and…
Her eyes widened, feeling weak at the sudden revelation.
She was jealous, at it wasn't because she felt that Ginga was moving in on her friendship with Fate.
It was because…
Suddenly she was fifteen again, cold and shivering, bouncing from foot to foot in an effort to keep warm, waiting for Fate on a snow covered bridge at three in the morning on Christmas Eve. She had cupped her hands, blowing on them in an effort to heat numbed digits and hoping her parents wouldn't notice she had snuck out. When the ground began to glow a warm yellow, signaling the young enforcer's impending arrival from the Asura, her heartbeat had quickened, and no amount of cold weather could keep the smile away.
As Fate had materialized, looking disoriented and confused (she had confessed to Nanoha that teleporting had always made her feel too anxious), the brunette launched herself forward, ready to tackle her friend in the process. To her surprise, Fate looked as though she was almost ready for it, and arms that were much stronger than they had been before she had left for training caught Nanoha in midair, holding her close until her feet touched the ground.
She had gotten a lot taller.
Nanoha had felt her face flush, definitely not feeling the cold at all anymore, and wound her arms around Fate's neck in return, shyly burrowing her face down into the enforcer's shoulder. It had only been a year, but it felt like so much longer.
"Missed you too." Fate murmured, tightening her hold, but Nanoha barely heard it over the rushing of the blood in her ears.
Four years later, she had been stricken with grief after Vivio's kidnapping. Her world was crashing down around her, and she had failed in her promise to protect the little girl. Standing under the night sky, arms wrapped tightly around herself, she had never felt so small, and so alone.
Fate had been there too, just when she had needed her the most, and just when the tears she had been keeping back for so long started to fall, she was pulled into warm arms, and Fate had held her until she had nothing left but shuddering breaths, her face buried somewhere between the blonde's neck and her shoulder. Fate had whispered gentle words of encouragement, promising that everything would be okay, it always worked out, and that they would get Vivio back no matter what. She hadn't doubted Fate's words, even for a second, and no matter how weak she felt, Fate always gave her plenty of strength to draw from.
When she had turned twenty one, there had been a minor mishap on the training field, and Nanoha had found herself with a twisted ankle. Brushing off her own carelessness with a laugh, she tried to rise on her own, only to be caught in Fate's arms when she failed miserably and fell once more. Not caring who was watching, the enforcer scooped her up and carried her all the way to the sick bay. Embarrassed by the cheers and catcalls of their comrades, Nanoha blushed terribly and hid her face near Fate's neck, burrowing it down into thick golden hair while Fate's shoulders shook with laughter. "Don't hide it." Fate had said, tightening her hold. "It's awfully cute."
After every mission, when Nanoha had heard the locks disengage and caught the sound of quiet footsteps in the hall, she found herself flying down the stairs with Vivio close behind her. Fate was safe. Fate was home, and she was always smiling, ready for the hugs and bombardment of questions despite being dead on her feet and wrung out, always patient and sweet no matter how fast she and Vivio talked. But at night, the nights, those were the worst. She would wake up to find Fate tossing and turning, her features marred with pain as she fought enemies the rest of the world would never see. Without thinking, and without wondering why she did it, Nanoha would roll over in bed and wrap her arms around the enforcer, pulling her close and stroking her hair, trying to soothe away things she knew nothing about. Fate would calm down, her muscles would relax, and for just a little while, she looked as though she was at peace once more.
It was home. It was her family, and it was…
Nanoha felt her knees go weak and sank to the floor, slumped against the door.
That feeling. All along. And…
Oh god.
Dinner was an exceedingly painful affair. Nanoha struggled to make any sort of conversation, and eye contact was simply out of the question. Despite having missed her mom's wonderful home cooking, she found that her appetite had completely vanished, and every time Fate had quietly laughed at something Vivio had said, Nanoha felt a knife in her belly.
She had to get over this, sort this out, anything. She just needed a minute.
Vivio had finished eating first, and Nanoha scrambled to her feet to take her plate to the kitchen, desperate to have a few minutes to herself and away from the dark eyes that were studying her with such warm concern from across the table.
Leaning over the sink, she gripped the edge of the countertop and forced herself to take a deep breath, steadying her heart and trying in vain to clear her mind. She knew how she must appear to the rest of her family now, and it was critical to get herself at least presentable before…
"Are you alright?"
Nanoha snapped to attention, turning towards the direction of the warm, soft voice while her heart stuttered painfully in her chest. "Y…yeah." The ace tried weakly. "Long day."
Fate didn't look convinced, and placed a light hand on her arm near the crook of her elbow. "Are you sure? Because I've seen you tired before, and this isn't tired."
For the briefest of moments, it was like nothing had changed. Like she wasn't getting married, and that Fate hadn't vanished, and there wasn't a mountain of tension between them. Fate would tell her she was pushing herself too hard, and she'd say it right back, and they'd stare each other down, both too stubborn to admit anything and everything. Like it used to be.
"I'm sure." Nanoha tried, a little more firmly this time, still not daring to meet her eyes.
"Am I causing you distress by being here?" the enforcer asked calmly, keeping her tone even.
Nanoha froze in place. There was no way she would be able to come up with an answer for that anytime in the immediate future.
Fate nodded slowly, taking the hint and dropping her hand, immediately distant and careful. "Alright. I'm sorry for causing you any trouble, so let me just say goodbye to Vivio and I'll…"
The instructor wasn't sure what she was thinking, and it sure couldn't be anything good, because her hand darted out on its own and grabbed Fate's wrist to keep her from leaving. Before the blonde could process what was happening, Nanoha tugged her forward a half-step and slid her arms around the enforcer's waist, holding her in place. Fate was about to ask her what was wrong again but was silenced when Nanoha pressed her face into her shoulder and the arms around her tightened.
After what seemed like an eternity, cobalt blue eyes closed tight when she felt the embrace returned slowly, almost shyly, and when a gentle hand began to rub small, soothing circles on her back, she had almost forgotten what had even brought the two of them to this point. Her throat constricted, her eyes burned, and before she could stop herself, she felt the tears. There was no hiding them now, and as her shoulders shook, she felt Fate tense up in her arms.
"Nanoha? What's wrong?"
Nanoha wished she wouldn't ask her that, still as sweet and as gentle as she had always been in her memories, and she didn't fight it when Fate cupped her chin with one hand and tilted her head up, brushing away her tears with the pad of her thumb, russet eyes pleading with hers to say something. There was something here. There was probably always something here, between them, and she knew it now from the way her heart stopped when Fate kissed her forehead and held her close.
"Please, please don't cry."
Vivio tilted her heads towards the kitchen from her seat at the table, a little disconcerted by the lack of noise and turned to her grandmother. "No yelling. That's good, right?"
"Oh, I'm sure they're fine." Momoko chuckled. "I remember when separating them was the hard part."
Vivio hummed in acknowledgment, propping her chin up in one hand. "Did they fight a lot as kids?"
"Huh." The older woman frowned a bit, racking her brain for any memory of a disagreement. "Not that I can really recall. If Nanoha even looked more than mildly annoyed, Fate was always quick to calm her down. She was good at it too. Even as a child, all Fate had to do was look at her, or take her hand, and everything was fine. They were so cute back then!"
Vivio laughed nervously as memories of her mother's infamous temper sprang to the forefront of her mind, and compared them to the way her mother had acted this evening. "So, if that's a calm Nanoha-mama…" Heterochromatic eyes widened in horror and she sprang to her feet. "Oh God. Fate-mama is probably already dead!"
"I doubt that." Momoko chuckled, taking Vivio's hand and urging her to sit back down. "I haven't seen any explosions."
Notes!
I wrote this bit up last week. I tell ya, spending a week alone in a hotel every night just does things to a person's mind.
Cliffhanger. I know. Put down your sharp and pointy weapons.
And that snippet right in the beginning? A reviewer wanted to know how Vivio conned Fate into staying over, so there ya go. ;p
As always, you guys are awesome!
